Part 4 - (Any spoilers are possible from here on out, but nothing too heavy on the recent stuff)

"Excuse me.are you Colonel Mackenzie?"

Upon hearing the gentle voice, Mac looked up to see the female doctor standing in front of her. She nodded. "Yes.I am."

"I'm very sorry for the wait, ma'am.I'm Lietenant Alyssa Kingston" She studied the two senior officers carefully. "If you and your husband will come with me." She turned and started back the hall.

"Um." Mac went to correct her but stopped. If they knew that Harm wasn't related to her, they probably wouldn't allow him to go back with there with her and as much as she didn't want to admit it, she needed him. She looked up at Harm and saw understanding in his eyes. She stood slowly, cringing as pain shot through her entire body. She felt Harm's hand on the small of her back.not as firm as usual, but there none the less. She looked up and offered him a tiny smile that in no way made its way anywhere near her eyes, but did show her appreciation for his support.

"Right this way." Lt. Kingston led them out of the crowded waiting room and down a long corridor. Mac forced herself not to look into the rooms as she passed them. For as long as she could remember she had hated hospitals. Maybe that was due to the amount of time she spent in them as a child when her mother had to be rushed in after Joe Mackenzie took out his aggression after a rough day. Maybe it was because the time she spent there after Eddie crashed the car.or maybe it was due to the times she had to go in because of the things Chris did to her. Or it could have been because of the long wait when they didn't know if Harm was going to make it after he crashed into the icy Atlantic the day before her wedding.or when they were waiting on news about Bud after he stepped on the mine. It was probably a combination of all of it. Hospitals were not good places. Being in them always meant that something was terribly wrong. Hospitals meant pain and suffering. Mac shivered involuntarily and immediately felt Harm's worried stare burning into her. She decided just to ignore it. Saying 'I'm fine' would be a complete lie so why bother. He wouldn't believe it anyway. She knew she wasn't fine, but she wasn't about to tell anyone, especially Harm that fact.

Lt. Kingston led them into a small exam room and gave her a hospital gown. "Change into that and get up on the table. I'll be back very soon." She assured her and left them alone in the room.

Mac started to reach for the bottom hem of the shirt. "Uh.Harm.she may think we're married, but we're not so if you wouldn't mind turning around or something." She knew it was ridiculous. Now really wasn't the time for modesty, but she had to pretend things were normal and undressing in front of Harm definitely wasn't normal.even if it should be.

He nodded and turned around. "Listen.Mac.you really don't have to play the tough marine with me. I mean its not like I haven't seen you cry before. And I know you're a marine, but you're also human and."

"Harm.stop it." Mac's tone left no room for doubt. She wasn't in the mood and if she let her guard down, she knew that would be it. She'd be nothing more than a puddle on the floor. Weakness was a fear of hers. She'd seen and experienced what being weak led to and she promised herself that she wouldn't live like that ever again. That's why she dried out and joined the Corps. It gave her that feeling of strength and invincibility. Yet even as a Lieutenant Colonel in the United States Marine Corps, she was still constantly fighting to keep the weak 'Sarah' side of herself at bay. She hated when it reared its ugly head. Harm was right.he had seen her cry.when the 'Sarah' side came through. She remembered when the poacher was attacking her and she'd killed him and freaked out about the blood, she remembered letting Dalton get to close and steal from her, letting his death and her stalker push her back to drinking. She remembered the tears she shed in Harm's office when he left JAG. And let's not forget Brumby in general.He really brought out the 'Sarah' in her. Everything about their relationship was the 'Sarah' in her. Then there were the tears she shed over Harm's crash.and the ones she shed standing in the rain outside his building as she watched him comfort Renee. And those were just the times that she could remember off the top of her head. In addition, of course, to last night.when she let a man, who she thought at the time was Harm, violate her in the worse way possible.

"Mac..?" His gentle voice pulled her out of her thoughts.

"YES! I'm sure I'm fine! I'm a Lieutenant Colonel in the United States Marine Corps. I can handle myself just fine. So if you don't knock it off, I'll have to show you by kicking your six! Did I make myself clear or do I need to spell it out for you?! I know you're a squid and all so basic English is hard to understand for you, so I.am.fine." She over annunciated the last part.

Harm swallowed hard. "I.I.I was going to ask if I could turn back around yet."

//Oh my god.okay now I feel stupid.// She thought. "Oh.yeah just a second." She tied the back of the gown and sat on the edge of the table feeling the blush creep across her cheeks. "Okay." She stared at the floor, hoping he wouldn't see how embarrassed she was. "I.sorry."

Harm decided it was best to just ignore her little.okay not so little outburst. He slowly turned back to her. He just watched her. //So help the man that did this to her if I come into contact with him.// Harm knew he'd spend the rest of his life in Leavenworth for murder, but he honestly didn't care. //Whoever did this to my marine deserves to pay dearly.// His eyes widened at the thought. //Wait..*my* marine?! Where did that come from?//

Mac looked up and saw an odd look in his eyes. "Harm?" Nothing. "Harm?" A little louder and still nothing.

//My marine? She's not mine. At least not officially. But all that we've been through together. God.I really do.I lov.// A pillow smacking him brought him out of his mental confession. "Hey!" He chuckled and picked the pillow up from the floor. "That wasn't very nice, marine."

"Well then don't zone out on me like that, squid boy. You were just staring at me. It's a bit freaky. You had a really odd look in your eyes." She took the pillow back and put it on the bed.

He smiled faintly. "Sorry."

"So.What were you thinking about?" She prodded gently.

His smile faded, his gaze becoming serious. "Listen.I know that now really isn't the time, but if I don't say this now.I may never get up the nerve again." He stepped towards her. "Mac." He shook his head. "Sarah.I've thought about this a lot and I've never been more sure of anything."

Mac stared at him. "Just say it Harm." //Please God let it be what I hope it is.//

"Sarah, I lo."

"I'm sorry for the wait, I know that it must've felt like eternity." The doctor said, studying the chart as she walked in.

Mac sighed and slowly closed her eyes. "You have no idea." She murmured.

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TBC