Disclaimer: This is an unworthy fanfic, but an attempt as a form of appreciation for the creativity of Maki Murakami! (I used this disclaimer when I first made Nagareboshi...and now, I'm so proud to see how far Nagareboshi has gone from two years ago.) And, Kira is copyright to me.
kikoeru ka? (can you hear me?)
(prequel to the Nagareboshi series)
by miyamoto yui
Chapter 12 - if you want to see me, ask me.
April 5th, 1999
Song of the day; Love Song by Luna Sea
A week before the zoo, after checking out who was Bad Luck, I went to Touma's party. It was hard trying to pretend as if you've forgotten him, or didn't know who he was. It hurt so much to say, "And you are?"
He smirked at me and smoothly said who he was.
I wanted to jump him for trying to be seductive.
I was glad I had lots of self-control. But not too much if this kept up...
I even hit him with Kumagorou and smiled. He didn't know what it meant, but I certainly did.
And I had to pretend as if I didn't.
When he tried to fake that he was sick, I wanted to smirk. I was sincere in helping him, but bad enough to say "I'll take care of it". Yeah, right...
We went to one room and I gave him water as he at on the couch. He sighed as he looked at me.
After sitting down on the couch, I gave him a knowing smile. With all honestly, I shook my head. "If you want to be with me, just ask me."
He choked on his water.
I laughed as I looked at him. With my finger, I wiped some of the water away from his face. Then, I smiled as he blushed at me.
"Are you this nice to everyone?"
Oh, you're not 'everyone', dear Tatsuha.
I shook my head. "No...only people I like."
He blinked at me. "You like me? Even after I faked being sick?"
I winked at him. "If our roles were switched, I'd probably do the same thing."
He choked on his water again.
I laughed yet again and patted his back. "Now, I think I'm making you sick."
He shook his head. Then, he laughed as he said, "No, never! You know, all my life, I wanted to meet you."
All my life, I've been waiting for you...
"Thank you..." I said with all humility. "I don't think I'm that special to be put up so high."
Tatsuha blinked at me. "I think you're awesome!"
Then he laughed. "I sound like a little kid."
When he said that, I looked to the ground.
That's exactly how I want you to be. Just stay here with me and be honest...
I wish I could keep you in this room with me...
On a roll with flirting, I slipped in, "So...does the little kid want to go to the zoo with me?"
"What did you say?" He looked at me with shock in his eyes.
"I promised someone I'd take them with me, but I couldn't. I can't...anymore, technically. And you remind me of that person...so I was wondering if you wanted to go with me."
He nodded his head. "Are you sure you want to go with me?"
"As sure as I've ever been..." I smirked.
Then, I got up and winked at him again. "Next time, just ask me if you want to be with me."
I walked out of the room with him gawking at me.
I laughed when I closed the door behind me.
--
Two days ago, I was able to see him and keep the promise I made two years ago. It's late to say this now, but now that I actually _have_ some time to write about it!
God, he was so cute. After all the pictures and various packages with various 'Tatsuha' collectibles (that's so funny, I'm a fan of my own fan!), I finally had the courage to say let's go to the zoo. Okay, technically, he was the one who asked me to go, but he didn't remember. For all he knew, it was just a dream.
For me, that moment lasted for three years. And, with a kiss that I keep on seeking for.
I thought of that kiss so many times.
I wanted to do it again.
When we walked around, we talked and talked. When I looked at him, I kept as calm as I could. I still had to portray that I knew 'nothing' about him. After all, I wanted to know what he thought about when he wrote that letter to me.
Now, I'm thirty-one-years-old, more famous, and still have that piece of paper with me. I can't keep it in my wallet anymore because I'm always tempted to read it. So, it was put into my bedside, right next to the first picture sent to me.
As he talked to me, I looked at him and nodded earnestly. How much he had grown! He's even cuter than when he was thirteen. He even has these small dimples that come up when he smiles, but that's only when he's embarrassed.
Then, his eyes are so soft, but intense. That's not a good way of putting it, but what I meant was that he has his brother's eyes. But, Tatsuha's look is so warm and isn't cold at all. Well, at least when he looked at me, they were.
What I'm guilty about is that when I looked at his lips, I kept on thinking what damn flavor they were. I wanted to find out, but of course, I couldn't do that. "I kissed you when you were in the hospital, mind if I try again?" He'd think I was really weird.
He told me that he was going to go to college and going to take over being monk of their family temple. He sighed at this, but he said he had no choice. I just patted his shoulder, thinking that I just wanted to hold onto him.
How much I just wanted to hold him...
I wanted to ask him about my music too. What did he think about it, but I couldn't bring that up here too.
I was such a bumbling idiot with him! Couldn't even speak straight, so I was just being a genki ball and quiet as he spoke.
"So, Sakuma-san," he asked suddenly while I was trying to take him and the moment in with all my senses, "have you found what you were looking for?"
Being caught off guard, I answered, "Hmm? What do you mean?"
"I mean, in your interview for one of the magazine, the one with the questionnaire, did you find what you were looking for?" He looked at me quietly as if he didn't write any response for it.
I smiled widely. "Yes! This anonymous note told me that they were addicted to my music. And that they could feel my music and know it was me."
He looked at me then laughed as he ran his fingers through his hair nervously. "Ah, is that so?"
I then looked at him seriously and instantly, my heart began to feel heavy. I looked into his eyes and began to ask, "Uesugi-kun, actually, I-"
Ring, ring, ring!
"You have missed the concert, Ryuichi!" said the telephone message.
I didn't answer it because it was Touma.
We had to leave at that moment and we parted as soon as Touma saw me when we came back.
After apologizing to him over and over, when he calmed down, I told him, "Tatsuha...I was with Tatsuha..."
Then he sighed. "I know, but...Ryuichi!"
"I lost track of the time because we were having so much fun!" I told him as best as I could.
Then, I sighed as I smiled at him and he groaned. "You're so lovesick, it's making me sick."
I hugged him as I looked up into his eyes. "Aw...but you can never get too mad at me, Touma. Besides, I was good for many years now, and I didn't see him. You know I promised him to go to the zoo and everything-"
"I know!" he shouted and shook his head in exasperation.
Even until now...
Why was Touma jealous? --;;;;;
"This is the least I want. And I'm just happy with this."
Patting my head, he shook his head. "I guess I'll not give you these nice pics of Tatsuha trying to impersonate you."
I blinked at him. "Oh, that's cruel, Touma."
He smirked.
But when I left NG Records, I wasn't feeling guilty at all. I was on cloud nine for all I cared. I laughed and thought about the way he looked at me. Some part of me kept on thinking, "You just have to tell him when it's time." The other part said, "It's just admiration. Don't read more into it."
Except, I didn't want to say or do anything.
I wanted him to choose it by himself.
If he didn't, I would continue to watch him regardless. My love for him was far worse and more severe than Touma's affection for Eiri. After my walkout from that concert two years ago, that's when we both realized how much Tatsuha affected me.
I'd continue to sing for him like Kira did for her half-brother...
But if he did love me. I would protect him and love him more than I do now.
I worked hard all these years and became gradually 'better' because of him. I hardly have anxiety attacks and my moods have become somewhat stabilized.
I've made my songs deeper, my performances with more feeling. All because of him.
At this moment, I'll call Touma to arrange that I'll go and record with Shuichi or something. And I want Tatsuha 'conveniently there'.
I want him to see how I sing.
How I sing for him...
Tsuzuku...
--
Author's note: I don't know how everything worked out so well for me to just slide right into manga parts and make it believeable. * is amazed (because usually she does things not so well) * I wrote Nagareboshi because I thought it would be cool if I ever met my absolute favorite actor/actress/voice actor/etc., how would I react?
I have read Nagareboshi again...because we're there already. I've already made a draft, but it's so different reading Tatsuha's 'he doesn't know me' mentality with Ryuichi's 'I'm trying to pretend that I don't know him.'
kikoeru ka? (can you hear me?)
(prequel to the Nagareboshi series)
by miyamoto yui
Chapter 12 - if you want to see me, ask me.
April 5th, 1999
Song of the day; Love Song by Luna Sea
A week before the zoo, after checking out who was Bad Luck, I went to Touma's party. It was hard trying to pretend as if you've forgotten him, or didn't know who he was. It hurt so much to say, "And you are?"
He smirked at me and smoothly said who he was.
I wanted to jump him for trying to be seductive.
I was glad I had lots of self-control. But not too much if this kept up...
I even hit him with Kumagorou and smiled. He didn't know what it meant, but I certainly did.
And I had to pretend as if I didn't.
When he tried to fake that he was sick, I wanted to smirk. I was sincere in helping him, but bad enough to say "I'll take care of it". Yeah, right...
We went to one room and I gave him water as he at on the couch. He sighed as he looked at me.
After sitting down on the couch, I gave him a knowing smile. With all honestly, I shook my head. "If you want to be with me, just ask me."
He choked on his water.
I laughed as I looked at him. With my finger, I wiped some of the water away from his face. Then, I smiled as he blushed at me.
"Are you this nice to everyone?"
Oh, you're not 'everyone', dear Tatsuha.
I shook my head. "No...only people I like."
He blinked at me. "You like me? Even after I faked being sick?"
I winked at him. "If our roles were switched, I'd probably do the same thing."
He choked on his water again.
I laughed yet again and patted his back. "Now, I think I'm making you sick."
He shook his head. Then, he laughed as he said, "No, never! You know, all my life, I wanted to meet you."
All my life, I've been waiting for you...
"Thank you..." I said with all humility. "I don't think I'm that special to be put up so high."
Tatsuha blinked at me. "I think you're awesome!"
Then he laughed. "I sound like a little kid."
When he said that, I looked to the ground.
That's exactly how I want you to be. Just stay here with me and be honest...
I wish I could keep you in this room with me...
On a roll with flirting, I slipped in, "So...does the little kid want to go to the zoo with me?"
"What did you say?" He looked at me with shock in his eyes.
"I promised someone I'd take them with me, but I couldn't. I can't...anymore, technically. And you remind me of that person...so I was wondering if you wanted to go with me."
He nodded his head. "Are you sure you want to go with me?"
"As sure as I've ever been..." I smirked.
Then, I got up and winked at him again. "Next time, just ask me if you want to be with me."
I walked out of the room with him gawking at me.
I laughed when I closed the door behind me.
--
Two days ago, I was able to see him and keep the promise I made two years ago. It's late to say this now, but now that I actually _have_ some time to write about it!
God, he was so cute. After all the pictures and various packages with various 'Tatsuha' collectibles (that's so funny, I'm a fan of my own fan!), I finally had the courage to say let's go to the zoo. Okay, technically, he was the one who asked me to go, but he didn't remember. For all he knew, it was just a dream.
For me, that moment lasted for three years. And, with a kiss that I keep on seeking for.
I thought of that kiss so many times.
I wanted to do it again.
When we walked around, we talked and talked. When I looked at him, I kept as calm as I could. I still had to portray that I knew 'nothing' about him. After all, I wanted to know what he thought about when he wrote that letter to me.
Now, I'm thirty-one-years-old, more famous, and still have that piece of paper with me. I can't keep it in my wallet anymore because I'm always tempted to read it. So, it was put into my bedside, right next to the first picture sent to me.
As he talked to me, I looked at him and nodded earnestly. How much he had grown! He's even cuter than when he was thirteen. He even has these small dimples that come up when he smiles, but that's only when he's embarrassed.
Then, his eyes are so soft, but intense. That's not a good way of putting it, but what I meant was that he has his brother's eyes. But, Tatsuha's look is so warm and isn't cold at all. Well, at least when he looked at me, they were.
What I'm guilty about is that when I looked at his lips, I kept on thinking what damn flavor they were. I wanted to find out, but of course, I couldn't do that. "I kissed you when you were in the hospital, mind if I try again?" He'd think I was really weird.
He told me that he was going to go to college and going to take over being monk of their family temple. He sighed at this, but he said he had no choice. I just patted his shoulder, thinking that I just wanted to hold onto him.
How much I just wanted to hold him...
I wanted to ask him about my music too. What did he think about it, but I couldn't bring that up here too.
I was such a bumbling idiot with him! Couldn't even speak straight, so I was just being a genki ball and quiet as he spoke.
"So, Sakuma-san," he asked suddenly while I was trying to take him and the moment in with all my senses, "have you found what you were looking for?"
Being caught off guard, I answered, "Hmm? What do you mean?"
"I mean, in your interview for one of the magazine, the one with the questionnaire, did you find what you were looking for?" He looked at me quietly as if he didn't write any response for it.
I smiled widely. "Yes! This anonymous note told me that they were addicted to my music. And that they could feel my music and know it was me."
He looked at me then laughed as he ran his fingers through his hair nervously. "Ah, is that so?"
I then looked at him seriously and instantly, my heart began to feel heavy. I looked into his eyes and began to ask, "Uesugi-kun, actually, I-"
Ring, ring, ring!
"You have missed the concert, Ryuichi!" said the telephone message.
I didn't answer it because it was Touma.
We had to leave at that moment and we parted as soon as Touma saw me when we came back.
After apologizing to him over and over, when he calmed down, I told him, "Tatsuha...I was with Tatsuha..."
Then he sighed. "I know, but...Ryuichi!"
"I lost track of the time because we were having so much fun!" I told him as best as I could.
Then, I sighed as I smiled at him and he groaned. "You're so lovesick, it's making me sick."
I hugged him as I looked up into his eyes. "Aw...but you can never get too mad at me, Touma. Besides, I was good for many years now, and I didn't see him. You know I promised him to go to the zoo and everything-"
"I know!" he shouted and shook his head in exasperation.
Even until now...
Why was Touma jealous? --;;;;;
"This is the least I want. And I'm just happy with this."
Patting my head, he shook his head. "I guess I'll not give you these nice pics of Tatsuha trying to impersonate you."
I blinked at him. "Oh, that's cruel, Touma."
He smirked.
But when I left NG Records, I wasn't feeling guilty at all. I was on cloud nine for all I cared. I laughed and thought about the way he looked at me. Some part of me kept on thinking, "You just have to tell him when it's time." The other part said, "It's just admiration. Don't read more into it."
Except, I didn't want to say or do anything.
I wanted him to choose it by himself.
If he didn't, I would continue to watch him regardless. My love for him was far worse and more severe than Touma's affection for Eiri. After my walkout from that concert two years ago, that's when we both realized how much Tatsuha affected me.
I'd continue to sing for him like Kira did for her half-brother...
But if he did love me. I would protect him and love him more than I do now.
I worked hard all these years and became gradually 'better' because of him. I hardly have anxiety attacks and my moods have become somewhat stabilized.
I've made my songs deeper, my performances with more feeling. All because of him.
At this moment, I'll call Touma to arrange that I'll go and record with Shuichi or something. And I want Tatsuha 'conveniently there'.
I want him to see how I sing.
How I sing for him...
Tsuzuku...
--
Author's note: I don't know how everything worked out so well for me to just slide right into manga parts and make it believeable. * is amazed (because usually she does things not so well) * I wrote Nagareboshi because I thought it would be cool if I ever met my absolute favorite actor/actress/voice actor/etc., how would I react?
I have read Nagareboshi again...because we're there already. I've already made a draft, but it's so different reading Tatsuha's 'he doesn't know me' mentality with Ryuichi's 'I'm trying to pretend that I don't know him.'