Chapter 2: The Madness Begins
Everyone in Hogwarts made their way to the Grand Hall so that Samara could be sorted and so they could eat lunch. Professor McGonagall held up the Sorting Hat while Samara sat on the stool. McGonagall placed the Sorting Hat upon Samara's head. "Damn not another rotten kid! SLYTHERIN!" The Sorting hat said. Cheers came from the Slytherin table as Samara sat down beside Draco. Then everyone began to eat. Samara was the only one who didn't eat (she's a living dead girl). All Samara did was stare at Draco with great fascination. Meanwhile a owl dropped a letter onto Harry's lap. Harry opened the letter and read it:
Dear Harry Pothead,
I really hate you. One day very soon you will fall victim to my wand and lie in a puddle of your own blood. This year you wont defeat me like you did four times already, I will defeat you! Damn you Harry Pothead! If you would choke on a pretzel it would be most nice. Have a good and cheerful year!
Your enemy,
Lord Voldemort
Once Harry was done reading that letter it was time to go to class. He had potions next. Meanwhile at the Slytherin table Draco said: "We have potions next. I'll show you to our class." Samara smiled.
"Okay," she said. Pansy saw Draco and Samara walking to potions class and was very angry.
"That evil crazy-ugh! She'll pay! One day she'll pay!" Pansy vowed.
Once everyone was seating in potions class Professor Snape gave them a lecture. "We have a thief in the class. Now someone stole something very precious to me and I want it back. If I don't get it back I will mark down you grades," Snape said. Harry looked nervously around the room. "Now, I'm not naming any names.Pothead!" Snape said, "I know you have it! Give it back!" Harry looked as if he was about to die.
"No! It's mine now!" Harry yelled.
"Give Bunny back!" Snape yelled, eyes tearing up.
"NEVER!" Harry yelled clutching a stuffed bunny.
Snape began to cry, " GIVE BUNNY BACK!" Harry clutched the bunny even harder. Snape leapt up out of his chair and tackled Harry.
The whole class began to shout: "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! JERRY! JERRY! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"
"Give Bunny back to me! IT'S MINE!" Snape cried. Finally Harry was lying on the ground with bruises all over him and Snape was hugging Bunny. "SCORE!" Snape yelled happily. Harry began to cry while Hermione comforted him. Then it was time for lessons with Professor Trewlany.
Everyone walked up the hundred-thousand-fifteen steps to Prof. Trewlany's class. "Now class, I want you to look into your tea cups and tell me what you see," Prof. Trewlany said.
"I see a cow standing in the middle of a snow storm and the cow is saying 'Happy cows come from California'. What do you think it means Professor?" Neville asked.
"Mr. Longbottom, you've got issues," Professor Trewlany said.
"Professor I see Lord Voldemort in a pink tutu dancing around some Deatheaters singing strange songs by Linkin Park," Harry Pothead said.
"Oh my," Trewlany said.
"What does it mean Professor?" Harry asked.
"You have a sick mind, Mr. Pothead. No offence," Prof. Trewlany said.
"Professor, I see myself surrounded by hot girls," Draco said.
"Not even in your dreams, Mr. Malfoy!" Trewlany said. Draco frowned disappointed.
Next was Defense Against the Dark Arts class with Professor Quirrell teaching (I don't know why they hired him again). The minute Harry entered the class he screamed: "Not you again!" Professor Quirrell smirked.
"You ca-can't g-get rid of m-me so easily," Quirrell said. They soon began the class. Quirrell took out a big cardboard box that shook. "N-now th-this is a e-evil cr-creature who d-dwells in th-the lands of K-Krynn. Be-beware it is dan-dangerous," Quirrell said opening the box. Suddenly a monster so horrid looking emerged from the box and everyone in the class (including Quirrell) was scarred for life. The monster was Gilderoy Lockheart.
"Hello. Who am I and what am I doing here?" Lockheart asked getting out of the box.
"He-hey! You're n-not the m-monster!" Quirrell said, angrily.
"I'm not?" Lockheart asked.
"NO!" Quirrell screamed.
"Oh! That makes things totally different!" Lockheart exclaimed. Lockheart then sat down in a desk while the real monster came out. It was a purple monkey with red eyes.
"OOKABALOOGACONGA!" The monkey yelled.
"EEK!" Quirrell cried hiding under his desk.
"Hello. Who are you?" Lockheart asked the monkey.
The monkey yelled again: "MOOMOO!"
"Hello, Moomoo. Lovely day isn't it," Lockheart said with a stupid smile. Suddenly Crabbe and Goyle jumped out of their seats and ran up to the monkey.
"OOKABALOOGACONGA!" Crabbe and Goyle yelled.
The monkey looked happy and said: "OOKA NA MEI MA."
Goyle responded with: "MAYO!" Crabbe grunted in agreement.
Now that Goyle and Crabbe had met their long lost relative, class had ended and it was time to eat dinner in the Grand (or was it Great?) Hall. Dumbledore began to make a speech: "Now, we have just gotten owl from the Ministry of Magic that Lord Voldemort is rising in power and will attempt to take over the school-"
Suddenly Samara yelled interrupting Dumbledore: "YEAHH!" Everyone stares at Samara oddly. Samara blushes (even though she doesn't have blood) and says: "Hi."
"Ahem! Like I was saying: Lord Voldemort is going to attack this school so um yeah well that's all I've got to say oh and be careful um you may eat now," Dumbledore said. Everyone began to eat and then they went to their common rooms.
Harry walked around the common room thinking of a way to foil Voldemort's plans for taking over the school. "We should go to the library! The library solves everyone's problems!" Hermione said cheerfully. Ron looked at her and shook his head pitifully.
"I say we sneak into his secret hideout and find out his evil plans!" Ron said.
"Great idea! I'm so glad I thought of it!" Harry said.
"But we don't know where his hideout is anyway!" Hermione said.
"Good point," Harry said. Suddenly Draco walks into the Gryffindor common room with Samara following.
"Hey! How did you get in here?" Ron asked.
"The fat lady was stoned," Draco said and smirked.
"Oh!" Ron said.
"What do you want?" Harry asked.
"Lord Voldemort's hideout is in the janitor's closet next to Myrtle's bathroom," Draco said.
"Hey you weren't supposed to tell us important information until we torture you!" Harry yelled.
"Oh, my bad," Draco said.
"Okie-day! So we will now go to the janitor's closet to foil Voldemort's plans!" Harry said in his most heroic voice.
"Okie-day?" Ron asked.
(A/N: So in the next chapter Harry and Co. will foil Lord Voldemort's evil plans! See you then! *_*!)
Everyone in Hogwarts made their way to the Grand Hall so that Samara could be sorted and so they could eat lunch. Professor McGonagall held up the Sorting Hat while Samara sat on the stool. McGonagall placed the Sorting Hat upon Samara's head. "Damn not another rotten kid! SLYTHERIN!" The Sorting hat said. Cheers came from the Slytherin table as Samara sat down beside Draco. Then everyone began to eat. Samara was the only one who didn't eat (she's a living dead girl). All Samara did was stare at Draco with great fascination. Meanwhile a owl dropped a letter onto Harry's lap. Harry opened the letter and read it:
Dear Harry Pothead,
I really hate you. One day very soon you will fall victim to my wand and lie in a puddle of your own blood. This year you wont defeat me like you did four times already, I will defeat you! Damn you Harry Pothead! If you would choke on a pretzel it would be most nice. Have a good and cheerful year!
Your enemy,
Lord Voldemort
Once Harry was done reading that letter it was time to go to class. He had potions next. Meanwhile at the Slytherin table Draco said: "We have potions next. I'll show you to our class." Samara smiled.
"Okay," she said. Pansy saw Draco and Samara walking to potions class and was very angry.
"That evil crazy-ugh! She'll pay! One day she'll pay!" Pansy vowed.
Once everyone was seating in potions class Professor Snape gave them a lecture. "We have a thief in the class. Now someone stole something very precious to me and I want it back. If I don't get it back I will mark down you grades," Snape said. Harry looked nervously around the room. "Now, I'm not naming any names.Pothead!" Snape said, "I know you have it! Give it back!" Harry looked as if he was about to die.
"No! It's mine now!" Harry yelled.
"Give Bunny back!" Snape yelled, eyes tearing up.
"NEVER!" Harry yelled clutching a stuffed bunny.
Snape began to cry, " GIVE BUNNY BACK!" Harry clutched the bunny even harder. Snape leapt up out of his chair and tackled Harry.
The whole class began to shout: "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! JERRY! JERRY! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"
"Give Bunny back to me! IT'S MINE!" Snape cried. Finally Harry was lying on the ground with bruises all over him and Snape was hugging Bunny. "SCORE!" Snape yelled happily. Harry began to cry while Hermione comforted him. Then it was time for lessons with Professor Trewlany.
Everyone walked up the hundred-thousand-fifteen steps to Prof. Trewlany's class. "Now class, I want you to look into your tea cups and tell me what you see," Prof. Trewlany said.
"I see a cow standing in the middle of a snow storm and the cow is saying 'Happy cows come from California'. What do you think it means Professor?" Neville asked.
"Mr. Longbottom, you've got issues," Professor Trewlany said.
"Professor I see Lord Voldemort in a pink tutu dancing around some Deatheaters singing strange songs by Linkin Park," Harry Pothead said.
"Oh my," Trewlany said.
"What does it mean Professor?" Harry asked.
"You have a sick mind, Mr. Pothead. No offence," Prof. Trewlany said.
"Professor, I see myself surrounded by hot girls," Draco said.
"Not even in your dreams, Mr. Malfoy!" Trewlany said. Draco frowned disappointed.
Next was Defense Against the Dark Arts class with Professor Quirrell teaching (I don't know why they hired him again). The minute Harry entered the class he screamed: "Not you again!" Professor Quirrell smirked.
"You ca-can't g-get rid of m-me so easily," Quirrell said. They soon began the class. Quirrell took out a big cardboard box that shook. "N-now th-this is a e-evil cr-creature who d-dwells in th-the lands of K-Krynn. Be-beware it is dan-dangerous," Quirrell said opening the box. Suddenly a monster so horrid looking emerged from the box and everyone in the class (including Quirrell) was scarred for life. The monster was Gilderoy Lockheart.
"Hello. Who am I and what am I doing here?" Lockheart asked getting out of the box.
"He-hey! You're n-not the m-monster!" Quirrell said, angrily.
"I'm not?" Lockheart asked.
"NO!" Quirrell screamed.
"Oh! That makes things totally different!" Lockheart exclaimed. Lockheart then sat down in a desk while the real monster came out. It was a purple monkey with red eyes.
"OOKABALOOGACONGA!" The monkey yelled.
"EEK!" Quirrell cried hiding under his desk.
"Hello. Who are you?" Lockheart asked the monkey.
The monkey yelled again: "MOOMOO!"
"Hello, Moomoo. Lovely day isn't it," Lockheart said with a stupid smile. Suddenly Crabbe and Goyle jumped out of their seats and ran up to the monkey.
"OOKABALOOGACONGA!" Crabbe and Goyle yelled.
The monkey looked happy and said: "OOKA NA MEI MA."
Goyle responded with: "MAYO!" Crabbe grunted in agreement.
Now that Goyle and Crabbe had met their long lost relative, class had ended and it was time to eat dinner in the Grand (or was it Great?) Hall. Dumbledore began to make a speech: "Now, we have just gotten owl from the Ministry of Magic that Lord Voldemort is rising in power and will attempt to take over the school-"
Suddenly Samara yelled interrupting Dumbledore: "YEAHH!" Everyone stares at Samara oddly. Samara blushes (even though she doesn't have blood) and says: "Hi."
"Ahem! Like I was saying: Lord Voldemort is going to attack this school so um yeah well that's all I've got to say oh and be careful um you may eat now," Dumbledore said. Everyone began to eat and then they went to their common rooms.
Harry walked around the common room thinking of a way to foil Voldemort's plans for taking over the school. "We should go to the library! The library solves everyone's problems!" Hermione said cheerfully. Ron looked at her and shook his head pitifully.
"I say we sneak into his secret hideout and find out his evil plans!" Ron said.
"Great idea! I'm so glad I thought of it!" Harry said.
"But we don't know where his hideout is anyway!" Hermione said.
"Good point," Harry said. Suddenly Draco walks into the Gryffindor common room with Samara following.
"Hey! How did you get in here?" Ron asked.
"The fat lady was stoned," Draco said and smirked.
"Oh!" Ron said.
"What do you want?" Harry asked.
"Lord Voldemort's hideout is in the janitor's closet next to Myrtle's bathroom," Draco said.
"Hey you weren't supposed to tell us important information until we torture you!" Harry yelled.
"Oh, my bad," Draco said.
"Okie-day! So we will now go to the janitor's closet to foil Voldemort's plans!" Harry said in his most heroic voice.
"Okie-day?" Ron asked.
(A/N: So in the next chapter Harry and Co. will foil Lord Voldemort's evil plans! See you then! *_*!)