Disclaimer: This story was written for enjoyment only. I do not own any of Tolkien's characters.
Author's Note: A big thank you to all my readers and reviewers! Your kind words and suggestions go a great way toward helping me write this story. As with last chapter, single quotation marks note a character's thoughts, whereas the double quotation marks note actual dialogue. I hope you enjoy this next chapter! :)
Relesen-Chapter 12
Leaning heavily upon the chair that held him, the haggard elf suddenly found himself alone with his friend after many drawn out days of separation. Earlier, Legolas had spent long hours in his own chamber as his mind poured over the words Lord Elrond had left to him, until finally he permitted himself to make the only decision he knew he could abide with. His painstaking deliberation over whether to persist in this anaesthetized state or be dragged back into the world of feeling and pain had been onerous, but Legolas ultimately elected to heed the elf lord's advice. Reaching such a conclusion had been harrowing enough to his careworn body and tattered spirit, but the actual navigation of the long passageways that separated himself from Aragorn, which therefore followed, had proven downright formidable to the elf. Now that his destination had been reached and he was left staring at the motionless body of his friend, Legolas became dubious of the opinions Lord Elrond had espoused. 'After what I have done, the pain I have caused him, how could Aragorn be eager for my company? The Silvan elf fretted.
Fitfully the elf's gaze shifted back and forth between his friend and the chair he now sat in. His long finger traced an uneasy path across the fabric of its upholstery. 'Why have I come?' Legolas questioned delving deep into the inner recesses of his tormented mind. Witnessing his friend so still and lifeless again only acted like a dagger drawn forth to further cut at his already bleeding heart, and he fought hard against the urge to rise up and leave. His fingers stilled their previous restless motion as his hands reacted expeditiously to grip the arms of the chair in an attempt to halt this building desire to flee. ' No, I cannot do this!' He railed silently. ' It is too much to bear seeing him reduced to such a state! Lord Elrond was wrong! He does not wait for me! He cannot!' Legolas disputed in agony. 'I must go! I cannot stay here!'
Rocking forward, Legolas attempted to rise as his eyes locked once again upon his friend. The prick of tears started to burn behind them as his heart hammered deep within the walls of his chest and his throat tightened painfully. "No, you cannot leave him!" The elf grounded out. The cords of his throat pulled painfully in protest against his effort to speak struggling with many long days of disuse and leaving his once melodious voice to come out sounding gruff. "It is the least you owe to him!" He conceded with defeat.
Settling nervously back down upon the chair, Legolas tried to find some measure of comfort, though none was attainable. Leaning forward he allowed his head to rest upon his hands, and his index fingers drummed a nervous tatoo against his flesh, while the anxiousness brewing in the pit of his stomach continued to build. Fretfully his eyes traveled back toward his injured friend, but the sight proved too much once more, and Legolas dropped his face forward into his awaiting hands as if to shield himself from the violence of this vision. 'You must get a hold of yourself!' He challenged, while removing the impermanent flesh and blood safeguard away from his line of sight. He then drew the anxious hands toward his weary brow before burying them roughly into the still unkempt hair above it. His shaking fingers caught then tore against the tangles that remained until the elf in all frustration forcefully jerked them free, pulling loose some of the golden tendrils in the process. He took no notice of the pain this action caused him as his eyes stared vacantly down at severed strands still wrapped around his trembling digits. Instead, he shook his head, while allowing the seemingly useless appendages to drop toward his lap once again, as he attempted to speak through his present indecision. "I never meant for this to happen!" Legolas rasped. "You must believe that, Estel! If I hadn't acted so foolishly . . . behaved so rashly . . . " The elf began as his eyes fell to the bandaged laden torso of his friend. Immediately, all of his prior thoughts were curtailed, as the remembrance of his arrow striking the flesh of his friend flashed across his mind. The elf winced in painful reaction to it before he exclaimed in futility. "How ironic is this, Estel, that the very object that begot this tragedy would be one and the same that acted toward drawing us closer together? ..."
"How could I have acted so imprudently . . . " Legolas went on to lament, "to have forgotten one of the most important precepts that I drilled into you during that season of training? To not let fear or anger cloud your judgement, but to remain dispassionate, never allowing emotion to rule the moment. For to do so could ultimately cost one's shot to fly errant!" A deep shudder coursed through the elf as his face contorted with the agony of this acknowledgment. For during those moments when he had let loose that volley of arrows into the crowd of orcs surrounding Aragorn, he had reacted like a green novice instead of the skillful archer he should have been. "How could I have allowed it to happen?" The elf demanded roughly toward himself. "I, who was master? ..." And though he struggled against the force of its pull, his weary mind could not offer up defense against the resurgence of another memory that accompanied the first.
The remembrance originated from the time following Aragorn and Elladan's unfortunate incident in the wilderness when they were set upon by ravenous wolves. Aragorn, who had been injured as a result, had been incapacitated for many weeks afterward with a broken arm. That did not discourage the youth's enthusiasm, however, when the elf, while trying to make amends for his brusque behavior toward him, promised to help the young Human become more adept with a bow.
The eight-year-old Aragorn had proven to be a relentless pupil, Legolas remembered. The elf would never forget the subsequent days that followed the removal of the child's bindings when the young Human persisted to pursue him to exact a date and time for their first lesson. Wearying of the boy's constant pleas, the elf ultimately agreed to begin his instruction on the following day. The Silvan archer would never forget nor forgive the rude awakening that was to follow as the enthusiastic child showed up in his room at the crack of dawn the very next morn. Too disgruntled by this unexpected and unwelcome turn of events, the elf found it hard to quell the rising temper that grew within him, but what proceeded to make the situation even worse was the unfazed child's next action as he had reached eagerly forward to clasp the elf's own-prized bow. Legolas could not quiet the acrid words that had sprung to his lips this time as a result, and he angrily bit out. "Release my bow, Estel! I allow none to touch it, let alone use it!" The boy shrunk away from the bow as if dealt a physical blow by the abrasive words uttered, and he eyed the Silvan elf warily hedging between the advisability of whether to flee the room or remain. Legolas felt a sudden stab of guilt cut through himself, and tried to soften his countenance while gauging the child's reaction to it. Now many years later as he looked back upon these first moments they had spent together as master and pupil, he could not help but wonder if his original conduct toward the Dunadan in the weeks that followed had not been tempered by this initial confrontation.
The hint of a nearly forgotten smile aspired to tug at the corner of Legolas lips as he remained lost in this recollection of the young Aragorn's displeasure over the turn of events that followed. For the content of the lessons had not proceeded as the young boy had envisioned. No, many long days were to pass before Aragorn was to feel the true weight of a bow within his small hands. In fact looking back now upon the situation, Legolas could not help but wonder how many times the youth seemed ready to give up upon the archer and his unusual training tactics.
Though acting as teacher toward the young Human, it had been a time of learning for Legolas, himself, as he gained invaluable insight and familiarity with a member of a once previously enigmatic race. He found during his training sessions with the boy that he needed to make allowances for their differences in physique and endurance. Not only did Aragorn, being an adan, have many factors working against him, but there was also the liability of his previously injured arm. The elf acknowledged the need to restore the child's appendage back to its previous strength before they could continue on further with their lessons, so he began by preparing the Human through various exercises he came up with during their treks together out into the woodlands immediately surrounding the elven realm. He sought to improve upon the flexibility of the child's feet, ankles, knees and hips, since it was essential for all flights to begin atop a firm and well-constructed foundation as well as seeking to strengthen his shoulders, back and arms. The boy seemed to enjoy what he perceived as the little games the elf designed for him, though they did little toward whetting his appetite in becoming a true archer. What the child did rebel against were the exercises he viewed as inane such as the repeated practice of clinching his hands into fists through buckets of sand not appreciating its merit toward strengthening his fingers. Aragorn also grew easily bored with what he viewed as the elf's endless preoccupation toward the gear they were to use. He became restless during the long discourses the elf made over spine weights matching draw weights and the obstacles of being over bowed, though he did take great interest as the two worked together to fashion the arrows they were to use. Perhaps what truly baffled Aragorn the most, however, was when the elf finally saw fit to allow the boy to let loose a few their precious stock, while requiring the youth to visualize the path each arrow would take.
"They will fly straight toward whatever target your aiming at." The young child answered.
"So you would think." Legolas countered as he directed the boy to take stand against the trunk of a nearby tree completely out of the range into which he was about to fire. Then the archer commanded, "Watch!" while he nocked his arrow, then drew it back tautly upon his bow string before letting it sail into the air in front of him. Aragorn's eyes kept steady with the path of its flight as he listened to Legolas' observations. "See young one? It does not follow a straight path, but flows forth at a curve, first being thrust upward outside the ballistic line, then next moving back inside it, until it finally succumbs to the gravity atop and drops toward the earth. You must envision its entire path from the moment it leaves your bow all the way to where it would have landed on the ground way down range had not your target been in its way. Many factors will influence its flight." The elf continued, while signaling to the area surrounding them. "The air, the atmosphere, whether there's wind or rain, . . . " He ceased speaking to tap lightly upon his chest in emphasis and finished with. " as well as what is going on inside; the pumping of the heart, the rising and falling of breath, the tension of muscles, and the focusing of eyes. You must take into consideration all these variables when attempting your shot."
In awe of all that Legolas had just imparted, Aragorn shook his head in acknowledgment, and the elf saw fit to convey some final words of advice. "And never allow fear nor anger to cloud your judgement, but remain dispassionate, for the former two will act to release more adrenaline into your body and might hinder the accuracy of your aim."
Then walking toward the boy, Legolas allowed his hand to fall upon his thin shoulder giving it a light squeeze. The Silvan elf was unable to contain the ebullience building within himself as his eyes made contact with those of the boy's and he concluded with. "These should be the tools of your commitment, Estel. They must be very real to you on all levels, emotionally, physically and spiritually or to practice this art will just be a waste of time and energy."
Aragorn only nodded wordlessly again as a wide smile spread across the fair-haired elf's features stirring the glow of satisfaction to spread throughout the young child's body and soul as the boy finally felt the advent of acceptance from the elf.
"Shall we begin then?" The elf answered, while reaching down to grasp the small bow the child had deposited upon the ground beside himself as he had waited and watched the archer.
"Yes!" The child piped in enthusiastically.
A true smile now touched the present day archer's face as he remained with these thoughts, though his countenance was to grow more pensive as they continued.
The contentment found in those earlier moments was not to last, for finally the day arrived to put to test all the skills he had instructed the young boy in. Weeks later, leaving at the break of dawn, Legolas took Aragorn out into the woods on his first true hunt. The boy's stance was marked with pride as he ambled alongside the much taller archer, while they made their way through the thicket. Excitement churned within his young body and though this emotion did not set well with all Legolas had taught him, it was impossible for him to quell it completely.
Hours later when he stood in wait beside Legolas, his mind went over all the lessons he had been taught, but when the final moment came as the game they pursued drew within their sights his lack of experience led to hesitation and he did not immediately comply with Legolas' signal to shoot. Instead he delayed a few short seconds, all the time needed to burden his shot. His bungled attempt was not totally off target striking the buck's rear left flank, but it lacked the potential of a much sought after death blow. A second clean shot immediately followed originating a few feet to his right and acted toward taking the animal down.
As Aragorn turned his eyes to meet those of his companion's, he could not help but suppose a hint of disappointment to be dwelling within their deep azure depths. Moving his eyes toward the ground, the boy's own self-derision could not help, but temper the elf's ensuing remark. "Estel, if you are not ready, then let us not waste this time with misplaced shots that could result in our game getting away and dying a useless death."
The boy turned from the archer then to hide the threat of tears that had gathered in his gray eyes. He would not let them fall, he vowed, in the presence of the elf, and he bit his quivering lip to aid himself with this oath. He would not allow the elf before him any further evidence of weakness on his part.
The boy's actions had been abrupt, but even so they had not been fast enough to conceal from the elf the inadvisability of the words he had spoken, and the fragility of their earlier bond had suddenly become crimped with an irrepressible knot. The long walk home had been marked with silence, as both archer and child dwelt upon their innermost thoughts thus proving to Legolas that the weight of the buck, he now carried, was not the only present burden to weigh heavily upon him.
Upon reaching Rivendell, the boy quickly disappeared from Legolas' sight, and the elf did not find him until many minutes later. By chance, as he made his way toward his own bed chamber, he came upon a door left slightly ajar leading into Lord Elrond's study. As his eye traveled through its length, they came to rest upon the sight of the Lord of Rivendell speaking with his youngest son. Legolas did not mean to intrude upon this intimate conversation, but his keen hearing could not help but pick up upon Aragorn's emotional outburst over the events that had happened earlier that day, as his father looked on and listened in silence.
As the young boy finished his story, Legolas would never forget the reply the elf lord imparted to his youngest in return. "Legolas was right, Estel. If you are not ready, then you should not be out there . . . "
"But Father . . . " The young boy interrupted in choked response, so that the Silvan elf could tell he had been crying.
Not to be deterred, Elrond went on. "Do not let this truth distress you, Estel. Hesitation toward killing another is not a bad thing. It actually gladdens my heart that you do not find such a task so effortless. The time may come when such a decision is thrust upon you and you will have to react very differently than you did today. Do not take Legolas' words to heart so, for we should not fault him for speaking the truth though the words he chose to use may have wrought pain."
"Father . . . " The boy sniffled as Lord Elrond opened his arms to welcome the youth into his embrace.
Closing his arms about the boy, the elf lord whispered "Do not fret, my son. You are still young. There is plenty of time ahead of you to prove such prowess to yourself, for though you may think differently now, it is through how we view ourselves that truly influences how others will ultimately come to see us."
Legolas had remained long past the time appropriate for one, who accidently stumbles across a situation, but he could not help himself. Though he bore witness to similar less intimate scenes in the past, he was in awe of the relationship Elrond and his two sons had with the Human. The notion of such a connection had seemed so alien to the Silvan elf, but now as he stood witness to it once more, he couldn't help but feel a little envious of the bond between them, and perhaps a little saddened that he had acted today toward renewing the distance between himself and the boy.
'Aragorn had gone on in time to prove himself a distinguished archer.' Legolas considered, as his thoughts drew to a close, and he returned once more to the present. The emancipation this memory had brought the elf helped to ease the agitation, which contended inside him, finally allowing him the peace to rest his eyes upon his friend without any of his previous overwhelming distress. Still tears began to trek down his face as he put voice to the fears and regrets that were bottled up within him. "I have permitted distance to once more come between us, nin mellon, perhaps irreparably so. You cannot begin to imagine the contrition my soul feels for being the cause of your present pain. Forgive me my friend. Were it possible to negate an action from time, mine would be the moment I let loose that final arrow. To know that I might be the cause of your demise . . . "
The elf never finished this thought for suddenly from behind him came a very audible gasp as another's words took over. "What do you mean, Legolas?"
Turning toward the unexpected voice, Legolas was startled to find he was no longer alone in the room with Aragorn, but at sometime during his previous discourse with his unconscious friend, his eldest brother, Elladan, had entered into it.
Shocked surprise filled the raven-haired elf's eyes as he moved forward to close the gap between them and he uttered. "Surely, you do not speak the truth, nin mellon? Surely, you did not do this to my brother?"
"Elladan . . . " Legolas began shakily.
"No!" Elladan's troubled voice broke in, while increasing in volume as he reached forward take hold of the arms of the elf before him, the fierceness of his actions jerking the archer toward him, so he could look him square in the face. "No, Legolas!" Elladan exclaimed. "Assure me that this isn't so! That you did not do this to Estel!"
Heartache and misery marked the fair-haired elf's countenance as he made to reply to Elladan's accusations, but abruptly he was disrupted again as Aragorn's body upon the bed beside them stiffened then convulsed, while a choked gasp escaped the Human's lips.
TBC
Author's Notes: Thank you all once again for all your kind words! Each and every one of your comments has been greatly appreciated over the course of this story. I'll be leaving soon for vacation. I hope to post another chapter before I do if I have the time to write one, and if FFN's technical problems are corrected. I hurried to get this one out in under a week, but alas I couldn't post it till now. I really didn't want to leave things hanging as they were before I left, so I will do my best to come up with something more if I can.
Dujoran- Your review for Chapter 10 helped me with writing this chapter. I originally didn't intend to include any more flashback sequences within my story, but I always like a challenge. It actually pleased me to go in this direction, because before this story is finished, I will have gone full circle and touch upon each of the previous three flashbacks once more. Thank you!
Red Minerva- Yes, I have written in another universe. :) I have participated in three Dr. Quinn pass along stories on another site-Portraits of a Town, Never Look Back, and Halloween Scenes. Two are completed stories, and one is a WIP. Thank you for expressing your interest in this story and my others.
Shaan Lien - Yes, I am familiar with that episode of Bonanza, though I have never watched it in its entirety. And yes, I have thought about the similarities in the plots as I have been writing this story and also with those of another episode from the show, "My Brother's Keeper". Good connection! I'm glad you're enjoying the story.
Finally, I'd like to acknowledge the following website that I used in finding my information on archery.
Though I took archery in high school and enjoyed it, my memory of its principles is now severely lacking. :) Until next time! Sue- aka Quickbeam