Harry Pottery and The Strangest Year Ever!
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything! If I did I wouldn't be writing this fanfic I'd be in a mansion having a party. I only own the stupid plot, April, Random Rabbit, Squirrel, the Invisible Madmobile, and Professor Greenleaf.
Note: No Chipmunks were harmed in the making of this fanfic.
Chapter 7: The Fellowship of the Phoenix
They all drove across the land of Madness to Voldiemort's lair. Huge trees loomed over them as they reached the dark forest known as Dark Forest. "This is the Dark Forest," Legolas said.
"Thank you Captain Obvious for that useful information," Ron said.
"Sometimes I need to remember just to breathe. Sometimes I need you to STAY AWAY FROM ME! Sometimes I'm in disbelief I didn't know. Somehow I NEED YOU TO GO! Don't stay! Forget our memories. Forget our possibilities-" Draco sang.
"Is there an off button on him?" Hermione asked. Harry pokes Draco looking for the off button.
"I can't find one," Harry said.
"WHAT YOU WERE CHANGING ME INTO! JUST GIVE ME MY SELF BACK AND GO! Don't stay! Forget our memories. Forget our possibilities-"
"Doggie poo?" Random Rabbit asked.
"UGH! THE MADNESS IS DRIVING ME INSANE!!" Harry screamed.
"Forget our memories. Forget our possibilities. WHAT YOU WERE CHANGING ME INTO! Don't Stay!" Legolas turned off the music. "Hey!" Draco cried.
"Please, just put on a different CD," Legolas said. Draco reluctantly put in a different CD.
"Sleeeeeeping Beauuuuuuuuty!" Draco sang to the A Perfect Circle CD.
"Here is a map of Madnessland," Screwed Up Squirrel said handing Harry the old worn out map. They rode through the Dark Forest on the old dirt road.
"Ooh! Six Flags Theme Park is on the map!" Legolas exclaimed.
"Poiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisen! Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeping Beauuuuuuuuuuuuty!"
"I like apple pie," Random Rabbit said.
"Are we there yet?" Hermione asked.
"No," Harry replied.
Two minutes later: "Are we there yet now?" Hermione asked.
"No," Harry said.
"Poiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisen! Sleeeeeeeeeeeping! Beauuuuuuuuuuty!"
"I wear smiley-faced underwear!" Random Rabbit yelled.
"Er um that's nice," Ron said. Suddenly they were attacked by little chipmunks! The tiny cute furry demons fell from the sky like raindrops and landed on top of random people.
"Heyah!" a chipmunk cried clawing at Hermione's hair.
"Oh no! These are the Evil Chipmunks of Doom that dwell in the Dark Forest!" Screwed Up Squirrel screamed fighting off the furry demons.
'How does the theme song to Jaws go?' a chipmunk asked itself mentally. "Oh yeah! DUN DA DUN DA DUN DA DUN DA!"
A ton of chipmunks landed on Harry. They broke his glasses and made several cuts on his face. His nose began to bleed and he was sporting a black eye. "HA! I LAUGH AT YOU PUNY CHIMPUNKS! YOU CANNOT HARM ME! I'M THE BOY-WHO- LIVED!" Harry yelled.
"Attacky!" a random chipmunk yelled pulling Draco's hair. Suddenly the chipmunk died and fell to the ground.
"What happened?" Ron asked.
"According to my calculations it seems that the chipmunks die from exposure to Draco's hair gel," Hermione said. Draco pulled out his bottle of hair gel and threw glops of it at the chipmunks.
"DIE! EVIL CHIPMUNKS THAT MESSED UP MY BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT HAIR!" Draco yelled. All the chipmunks that had come in contact with the hair gel died and fell lifeless onto the road.
"YAY! THE EVIL CHIPMUNKS ARE DEAD THANKS TO DRACO AND HIS WONDERFUL HAIR GEL!!" Everyone cheered. Suddenly the Invisible Madmobile swerved and crashed into a huge tree.
"Thank goodness of invisible seatbelts!" Draco said checking his head where a small gash was. They magically fixed the Invisible Madmobile and drove on to Voldiemort's lair.
Meanwhile in Voldiemort's lair:
"You idiot! I told you to watch out for the hair gel!" Voldiemort yelled at a chipmunk.
"My bad, master, but we had no idea it was so poisonous!" the chipmunk replied.
"Too bad," Voldiemort said and killed the chipmunk. Lucius enters the room.
Bowing to Voldie: "My lord, The Boy-Who-Just-Won't-Die has the Necklace of Meltor!" Lucius said.
"The Necklace of what?" Voldiemort asked.
"The Necklace of Meltor! The thingy he used to defeat you before!" Lucius exclaimed.
"Meltor?" Voldiemort asked. Lucius nodded. "What is Meltor? The spell check says that it is not a word. So what is it?" Voldie asked.
Lucius shrugged. "The author made it up just now," Lucius said.
"Well. We must find a way to get rid of the Necklace of Meltor," Voldiemort said. Lucius nodded and just stood there. "Well?" Voldiemort asked.
"Well what my lord?" Lucius asked.
"Get going! Find out how to destroy the Necklace of Meltor!" Voldiemort yelled.
"Oh right!" Lucius said running off.
"It's so hard to find good henchmen these days," Voldiemort said shaking his head pitifully.
Back to Harry Pothead and Co:
They drove on through the Dark Forest when they came to a beautiful lake in the middle of the forest. They could all hear singing in the trees.
"Lovely maiden Ever fair Forever enslaved in Voldiemort's lair
Mary-Sue! Mary-Sue!
She rides upon a great white rabbit Like a sparkling jewel She's so pretty dammit! She makes you act like a fool
Mary-Sue! Mary-Sue!
Fair deity-like laday Ever bright The light of the partay!
Mary-Sue! Mary-Sue!
The song ended and they could all see a pretty girl with blonde hair with blue streaks. Her eyes were blue with sparkles in them. She wore a blue and silver dress. Her nails were perfectly painted blue. Her skin was so flawless and beautiful that she glowed with radiance. She floated above the lake, water splashing about her. Everyone was captivated by her beauty. Did I mention she was beautiful? "Be blinded by my beauty!" She yelled tossing her hair over her shoulder.
"What is your name?" Harry asked.
"Like Mary-Sue," she said. All the guys drooled as they gazed at beautiful Mary-Sue. She showed off her perfect white teeth that shone so bright everyone had to look away and a random person walking by was blinded.
"Are you an angel?" Draco asked putting sunglasses on.
"Like yes, like I like am like and like I'm like also like part like veela like too!" Mary-Sue said smiling again. She tossed her hair over her shoulder. She then slowly lowered to the ground.
"Why do you always say like so much?" Draco asked.
"Cuz like I'm like a like valley like girl!" Mary-Sue said tossing her hair over her shoulder.
"And must you always toss your hair over your shoulder?" Draco wanted to know a little irritated.
"It's like hypnotizing like isn't like it?" Mary-Sue asked tossing her hair over her shoulder.
"Yeah, but it's annoying!" Draco said.
"Too like bad!" Mary-Sue said and tossed her hair.
"Aren't we becoming distracted from the story?" Hermione asked.
"I like the distraction," Harry said.
"Actually like I'm like really like supposed like to like help like you like to like defeat like Voldie!" Mary-Sue said panting, but still managed to toss her hair over her shoulder.
"OKAY THEN! LET'S GO DEAFEAT LORD VOLIEMORT! TO THE INVISIBLE MADMOBILE!" Harry yelled taking a cheesy heroic pose. They all hopped into the Invisible Madmobile and drove toward the general direction of Voldiemort's lair. On the way they were attacked by (gasp) purple monkeys? Yes. Purple monkeys flew down on them throwing bananas at them.
"Mummy! We're all gonna die!" Ron cried.
"NEVER FEAR RONNIE DEAR! IT IS I! HARRY POTHEAD! THE BOY-WHO-LIVED! I WILL ONCE AGAIN SAVE THE DAY!" Harry cried taking another cheesy heroic pose. Harry pulled out a machine gun that he had borrowed from April and began shooting the purple monkeys. Finally most of the purple monkeys died and the rest flew off in fear. "HA! I LAUGH AT YOU PUNY MONKEYS! YOU CANNOT HARM ME! I AM THE BOY-WHO-LIVED!"
They soon drove out of the Dark Forest and they could see Voldiemort's huge Castle on top of Dark and Evil Mountain. Dark clouds circled around the top of the mountain.
Finally they came to Dark and Evil Mountain. A huge sign said: "VOLDIEMORT'S LAIR!" The sign was next to an elevator. "Convenient!" Draco exclaimed. Ron just nodded. They all gazed at the mountain.
"Well what are we waiting for?" Hermione asked.
"Right.. LET'S ROLL!" Harry said taking a cheesy heroic pose. They all squeezed into the little elevator and they moved up the mountain. As they went up the mountain cheesy music played on the radio in the elevator. To be continued!
(A/N: Will Harry Pothead and his less important friends defeat Voldiemort? Stay tuned to find out! Review!)
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything! If I did I wouldn't be writing this fanfic I'd be in a mansion having a party. I only own the stupid plot, April, Random Rabbit, Squirrel, the Invisible Madmobile, and Professor Greenleaf.
Note: No Chipmunks were harmed in the making of this fanfic.
Chapter 7: The Fellowship of the Phoenix
They all drove across the land of Madness to Voldiemort's lair. Huge trees loomed over them as they reached the dark forest known as Dark Forest. "This is the Dark Forest," Legolas said.
"Thank you Captain Obvious for that useful information," Ron said.
"Sometimes I need to remember just to breathe. Sometimes I need you to STAY AWAY FROM ME! Sometimes I'm in disbelief I didn't know. Somehow I NEED YOU TO GO! Don't stay! Forget our memories. Forget our possibilities-" Draco sang.
"Is there an off button on him?" Hermione asked. Harry pokes Draco looking for the off button.
"I can't find one," Harry said.
"WHAT YOU WERE CHANGING ME INTO! JUST GIVE ME MY SELF BACK AND GO! Don't stay! Forget our memories. Forget our possibilities-"
"Doggie poo?" Random Rabbit asked.
"UGH! THE MADNESS IS DRIVING ME INSANE!!" Harry screamed.
"Forget our memories. Forget our possibilities. WHAT YOU WERE CHANGING ME INTO! Don't Stay!" Legolas turned off the music. "Hey!" Draco cried.
"Please, just put on a different CD," Legolas said. Draco reluctantly put in a different CD.
"Sleeeeeeping Beauuuuuuuuty!" Draco sang to the A Perfect Circle CD.
"Here is a map of Madnessland," Screwed Up Squirrel said handing Harry the old worn out map. They rode through the Dark Forest on the old dirt road.
"Ooh! Six Flags Theme Park is on the map!" Legolas exclaimed.
"Poiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisen! Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeping Beauuuuuuuuuuuuty!"
"I like apple pie," Random Rabbit said.
"Are we there yet?" Hermione asked.
"No," Harry replied.
Two minutes later: "Are we there yet now?" Hermione asked.
"No," Harry said.
"Poiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisen! Sleeeeeeeeeeeping! Beauuuuuuuuuuty!"
"I wear smiley-faced underwear!" Random Rabbit yelled.
"Er um that's nice," Ron said. Suddenly they were attacked by little chipmunks! The tiny cute furry demons fell from the sky like raindrops and landed on top of random people.
"Heyah!" a chipmunk cried clawing at Hermione's hair.
"Oh no! These are the Evil Chipmunks of Doom that dwell in the Dark Forest!" Screwed Up Squirrel screamed fighting off the furry demons.
'How does the theme song to Jaws go?' a chipmunk asked itself mentally. "Oh yeah! DUN DA DUN DA DUN DA DUN DA!"
A ton of chipmunks landed on Harry. They broke his glasses and made several cuts on his face. His nose began to bleed and he was sporting a black eye. "HA! I LAUGH AT YOU PUNY CHIMPUNKS! YOU CANNOT HARM ME! I'M THE BOY-WHO- LIVED!" Harry yelled.
"Attacky!" a random chipmunk yelled pulling Draco's hair. Suddenly the chipmunk died and fell to the ground.
"What happened?" Ron asked.
"According to my calculations it seems that the chipmunks die from exposure to Draco's hair gel," Hermione said. Draco pulled out his bottle of hair gel and threw glops of it at the chipmunks.
"DIE! EVIL CHIPMUNKS THAT MESSED UP MY BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT HAIR!" Draco yelled. All the chipmunks that had come in contact with the hair gel died and fell lifeless onto the road.
"YAY! THE EVIL CHIPMUNKS ARE DEAD THANKS TO DRACO AND HIS WONDERFUL HAIR GEL!!" Everyone cheered. Suddenly the Invisible Madmobile swerved and crashed into a huge tree.
"Thank goodness of invisible seatbelts!" Draco said checking his head where a small gash was. They magically fixed the Invisible Madmobile and drove on to Voldiemort's lair.
Meanwhile in Voldiemort's lair:
"You idiot! I told you to watch out for the hair gel!" Voldiemort yelled at a chipmunk.
"My bad, master, but we had no idea it was so poisonous!" the chipmunk replied.
"Too bad," Voldiemort said and killed the chipmunk. Lucius enters the room.
Bowing to Voldie: "My lord, The Boy-Who-Just-Won't-Die has the Necklace of Meltor!" Lucius said.
"The Necklace of what?" Voldiemort asked.
"The Necklace of Meltor! The thingy he used to defeat you before!" Lucius exclaimed.
"Meltor?" Voldiemort asked. Lucius nodded. "What is Meltor? The spell check says that it is not a word. So what is it?" Voldie asked.
Lucius shrugged. "The author made it up just now," Lucius said.
"Well. We must find a way to get rid of the Necklace of Meltor," Voldiemort said. Lucius nodded and just stood there. "Well?" Voldiemort asked.
"Well what my lord?" Lucius asked.
"Get going! Find out how to destroy the Necklace of Meltor!" Voldiemort yelled.
"Oh right!" Lucius said running off.
"It's so hard to find good henchmen these days," Voldiemort said shaking his head pitifully.
Back to Harry Pothead and Co:
They drove on through the Dark Forest when they came to a beautiful lake in the middle of the forest. They could all hear singing in the trees.
"Lovely maiden Ever fair Forever enslaved in Voldiemort's lair
Mary-Sue! Mary-Sue!
She rides upon a great white rabbit Like a sparkling jewel She's so pretty dammit! She makes you act like a fool
Mary-Sue! Mary-Sue!
Fair deity-like laday Ever bright The light of the partay!
Mary-Sue! Mary-Sue!
The song ended and they could all see a pretty girl with blonde hair with blue streaks. Her eyes were blue with sparkles in them. She wore a blue and silver dress. Her nails were perfectly painted blue. Her skin was so flawless and beautiful that she glowed with radiance. She floated above the lake, water splashing about her. Everyone was captivated by her beauty. Did I mention she was beautiful? "Be blinded by my beauty!" She yelled tossing her hair over her shoulder.
"What is your name?" Harry asked.
"Like Mary-Sue," she said. All the guys drooled as they gazed at beautiful Mary-Sue. She showed off her perfect white teeth that shone so bright everyone had to look away and a random person walking by was blinded.
"Are you an angel?" Draco asked putting sunglasses on.
"Like yes, like I like am like and like I'm like also like part like veela like too!" Mary-Sue said smiling again. She tossed her hair over her shoulder. She then slowly lowered to the ground.
"Why do you always say like so much?" Draco asked.
"Cuz like I'm like a like valley like girl!" Mary-Sue said tossing her hair over her shoulder.
"And must you always toss your hair over your shoulder?" Draco wanted to know a little irritated.
"It's like hypnotizing like isn't like it?" Mary-Sue asked tossing her hair over her shoulder.
"Yeah, but it's annoying!" Draco said.
"Too like bad!" Mary-Sue said and tossed her hair.
"Aren't we becoming distracted from the story?" Hermione asked.
"I like the distraction," Harry said.
"Actually like I'm like really like supposed like to like help like you like to like defeat like Voldie!" Mary-Sue said panting, but still managed to toss her hair over her shoulder.
"OKAY THEN! LET'S GO DEAFEAT LORD VOLIEMORT! TO THE INVISIBLE MADMOBILE!" Harry yelled taking a cheesy heroic pose. They all hopped into the Invisible Madmobile and drove toward the general direction of Voldiemort's lair. On the way they were attacked by (gasp) purple monkeys? Yes. Purple monkeys flew down on them throwing bananas at them.
"Mummy! We're all gonna die!" Ron cried.
"NEVER FEAR RONNIE DEAR! IT IS I! HARRY POTHEAD! THE BOY-WHO-LIVED! I WILL ONCE AGAIN SAVE THE DAY!" Harry cried taking another cheesy heroic pose. Harry pulled out a machine gun that he had borrowed from April and began shooting the purple monkeys. Finally most of the purple monkeys died and the rest flew off in fear. "HA! I LAUGH AT YOU PUNY MONKEYS! YOU CANNOT HARM ME! I AM THE BOY-WHO-LIVED!"
They soon drove out of the Dark Forest and they could see Voldiemort's huge Castle on top of Dark and Evil Mountain. Dark clouds circled around the top of the mountain.
Finally they came to Dark and Evil Mountain. A huge sign said: "VOLDIEMORT'S LAIR!" The sign was next to an elevator. "Convenient!" Draco exclaimed. Ron just nodded. They all gazed at the mountain.
"Well what are we waiting for?" Hermione asked.
"Right.. LET'S ROLL!" Harry said taking a cheesy heroic pose. They all squeezed into the little elevator and they moved up the mountain. As they went up the mountain cheesy music played on the radio in the elevator. To be continued!
(A/N: Will Harry Pothead and his less important friends defeat Voldiemort? Stay tuned to find out! Review!)