Warnings: Rinoa-bashing (mainly from character POV, although author did enjoy it too smirk>), foul language (a pissed Squall is a foul-mouthed Squall, and Squall's really pissed. Could be worse... Seifer could be himself again and pissed.), yaoi/shounen ai (but if you got this far, you probably already know that grin>)...

The Bloodcross Key: Reversals
by Lady Tempest

Part 19:

Squall let out a huff of breath as he waited for the door to whoosh open. His fingers twitched with impatience, still hovering over the electronic lock. Thank Hyne for Matron. If not for her, he didn't think Cid would have ever shut up.

If he wasn't so anxious to get back to Seifer before the blond realized he was gone, he might have been more willing to concede Cid's long-winded concern and endless questions were, at the least, understandable, even to a degree, necessary. It wouldn't do to have the headmaster more clueless of what went on in his Garden than usual. And all the damn paperwork! Who would have thought giving up command could be more work than wielding it?

But it was done with. Finally. Zell damn well have better stopped by while he was gone and checked on Seifer like he'd been told. When he'd had to leave, Seifer had been sleeping, a faint sweet smile on his lips. Soft... pink... God, Seifer was beautiful... and adorable: hair mussed and pure gold in the morning sun, his body in a child-like curl, covered in rumpled blue silk pajamas, and lying in peaceful oblivion, snuggling into the sunlit patch of warmth Squall had left on the sheets. All the scene had been missing was a ragged, yellow stuffed-chocobo tucked possessively in Seifer's arms.

Squall rubbed his face with both hands as he stepped through the door. Fuck, what was wrong with him? He shook himself. How could that much ridiculous sap find its way into his head? Granted, Seifer was...

A faint groan drifted from far across the room.

... Awake?

Squall's hands fell to his side and he froze, his muscles tensed. The sight that met his eyes ignited a firestorm of blood-boiling anger within him. Rinoa sat half-straddled across Seifer's legs, while Seifer was leaned back against the headboard of the narrow bed. Although her arms moved in careful, slow motions, her body blocked the view of whatever she was doing. One thing was sure from wet sounds and panting: she was kissing Seifer. Deeply. Kissing Seifer! Seifer. His Seifer! His wounded Seifer! The bitch!

"You fucking bitch!" he shouted and stormed towards them, his boots pounding heavily on the carpet with each furious step.

Rinoa whirled around, her dark hair whipping across her paled face. "Squall!" she yelped, her eyes wide and white, except for two tiny dark dots.

Her startled movement unveiled the actions of her hands, though paralyzed in shock. One of her manipulative hands had stilled in mid-stroke along Seifer's broad chest, bared through his half-unbuttoned shirt, thieving fingers on his naked skin. The other lay at the waistband of Seifer's blue pajamas, pressed against a patch of smooth stomach and the little of flesh below revealed by an undone button.

"What the fuck are you doing!" Angry blood enflamed, his gloved fists quaked. However, his fury had yet to reach its peak.

What rocketed Squall's thundering rage to pound inside his head like a thousand angry heartbeats was the look on Seifer's face, in his eyes: Terror. Sheer, absolute, paralyzing fear. Seifer's eyes had rolled back, only the barest sliver of pale blue-green visible under his frozen lashes and his head lolled slightly to the side. A faint whimper trembled from his ash pink lips. And worse still, plummeting Squall into a churning turmoil of fury and grief, those frightened lips seemed to form a single, heart-breaking plea: 'Squall'.

Squall roughly snatched Rinoa by the arm and yanked her from Seifer and the bed. She landed with a teeth-jarring thump on the floor. But he didn't care. "Get out!"

Her eyes hurt and still wide, she tried to regain her breath while Squall loomed over her like a tempest incarnate. "Squall!" she gasped. "It... It's not what you think..."

"Out!"

"It just happened. I..."

"I don't give a fuck!" Squall seethed, his gloves creaking under the increasing tension of his clenching fists. "Get. Out."

"Squall!..." Rinoa rose to her knees, pleading desperately.

"Now!"

"...Squall. Let me explain! There's just a connection between us. Seifer and I..."

"Seifer and you nothing! You selfish bitch. You have no fucking idea the damage you've just done!" Squall's storming eyes closed as his breathing fumed through grinding teeth. "Now, get out!" Turning his back to Rinoa, not sparing her another word, he fell to Seifer's side, gently grasping the blond's pale face in his hands. "Seifer, can you hear me? It's okay now. Seifer."

Seifer's chest rose, fell, rose, fell, rapid pants like the beating of rough waves onto a rocky shore. But nothing of awareness stirred in the blond.

Snapping his fingers in front of Seifer's unseeing eyes, the dulled thump of leather on leather drew a grunt of irritation from Squall's throat,, and no response from Seifer. Squall tore off his gloves and flung them away. His hands shaking, he tried again with a crisp snap to gain Seifer's attention, and softly called once more, "Seifer, it's me."

Squall's naked fingers caressed the damp skin of Seifer's cheek. Consciously or unconsciously, he willed the strange electric tingle brushing his fingertips like a slowly consuming kiss to jolt Seifer to awareness. To bring him back from whatever inner-world Seifer's mind had sent itself. With a retching stab in his gut, Squall's own mind flashed to a Seifer huddled on a floor, hands clawing in black carpet, and blue eyes dead and cold as ice.

The fire of his anger flared, but the chill of those eyes and the desperate, soul-wrenching need to bring them back to life and warmth banished all else.

"Seifer!" Squall choked out, as one hand threaded through Seifer's soft golden hair and the other gently slapped his cheek. "It's me. Come back."

"W....what's wrong with him?" Rinoa's voice drifted from behind him, nervous, even terrified.

He ignored her. Or more accurately, was only distantly aware of her, brushing off the sound like the buzz of a fly.

"Seifer. Goddammit, snap out of it!"

"W...what's wrong?"

Again, he ignored the faint, irritating drone barely reaching his ears.

"Squall!" her voice pitched high and shaky.

Dammit! How the hell was Seifer supposed to hear him over her shrieking? It was pushing him away, making Seifer think he still wasn't safe. Squall could feel it, sense it, under his fingertips in the shivers and chill-bumps along Seifer's skin. If she would just shut up and go away...

"Shut up, Rinoa! Shut the fuck up! And, Get. The. Fuck. Out!"

"B...but, he was fine before. We were just..."

"No." Squall whirled to glare dangerously over his shoulder at Rinoa, his furious brow tensed in a wrinkle and his lips pressed tight and pale. "He wasn't fine," he hissed. "If you gave a shit about anyone other than yourself, you would have noticed that before you made it even worse!" While his every word, tone, and the tension in his face bore the bite of his anger, in unnerving contrast, his fingers never stilled from their soothing, caring strokes along Seifer's face. "Now leave!"

"Oh." Rinoa clasped her hands over her mouth in shock and gasped, tears welling in her eyes. "I didn't mean to..."

"Out!" Squall growled, then turned back to Seifer as if she had already left. He'd wasted enough time dealing with her and her pathetic excuses.

"Seifer, it's me. It's alright now. Please. Come on, try to look at me," he urged gently.

Seifer's golden lashes fluttered and his dulled aqua eyes drifted over to Squall, melting slowly into awareness. Squall's breath caught in his throat, in relief, he told himself; However, something more might have been a factor as well. Something deep, and mysterious, and frightening in its intensity. Something breath-taking in the brightness of light surging the thin, blue ring of Seifer's eyes over the void of black, like a tropical lagoon swelling with the tide, leaving a tiny island in a sea of luminous color. What that something was, how much of a factor, Squall was too preoccupied to explore. Yet, he was certain he had never witnessed anything as beautiful as those eyes, looking at him, with raw sadness, with naked trust. Safe.

"S... Squall?" Seifer's voice was the barest breath, but Squall was close enough to still hear, and to feel it warm against his hand.

"Yes, it's me. You're safe now."

Seifer began quivering, his beautiful face drawn in misery. "I'm sorry, S... Squall. I didn't..."

"Shhh. It's not your fault." Squall's fingers rose in their caress along Seifer's jaw, to his cheekbones, to his brow, brushing along the tight lines and furrows, smoothing away the tension. "Here, lie down for a while, okay?" He gently eased Seifer to lie down on the narrow bed, drawing the thin blanket over his trembling body. "You rest a while. I'll be here when you wake up. Okay?"

Seifer snuggled drowsily against his pillow and nodded, a weak, child-like smile touching his lips. Then, his gaze not straying from Squall's face, he promptly closed his eyes and drifted into sleep.

Squall sat perfectly still for a few moments, watching Seifer as he relaxed to sleep. A sting pricked around his eyes, and his vision blurred faintly as Seifer's fingers curled unconsciously over his.

Claiming the role of a child-Seifer's stuffed chocobo had been a sort of joke, to lighten the mood, and ease Seifer from his nightmare, to bring a connection to comfort and safety both could relate to, understand; especially since, for himself, it was the only time of such things he could remember, even if vaguely. Likely, Seifer felt the same. And as Seifer's hand clung to his, the boy of his childhood was clearly before him, the gulf between that innocent boy and the shattered man vanished, at least for a little while.

However, Seifer needed his sleep and Squall needed to sort through his anger, the tension of it knotting his shoulders, his neck, twisting his stomach. He sighed, gently unwrapping the fingers from his hand, and rose, careful to not disturb his friend. After drawing the curtains together to block the bright morning sun, and sparing a last glance at the golden head and sweet face resting on his pillow, Squall turned and noticed Rinoa standing frozen near the doorway, her dark eyes wide.

"I thought I told you to leave!" he snarled, the low volume of his voice more than capable to carry his scorn.

"I... I..." she stuttered, staring at the sleeping blond. "W... what's the matter with him?"

Squall stalked towards her. "Out! Now!"

"But... I want to know what's going on! I deserve to know! You.."

Clutching her by the arm, Squall tugged her towards the door. "Outside. You want to talk, well, we're going to talk."

Rinoa nodded nervously and followed him out into the hall, not that he gave her much choice. After the door slid shut behind them, Squall leaned against it, his arms crossing his chest and scowled at Rinoa.

She peered about nervously. At the far end of the corridor, an Instructor strolled along the connecting hall, passing the intersection and continuing on, not even glancing their way. "Shouldn't we go.. uh.... somewhere more...private?"

"Right here is fine. I'm not leaving him alone with the state he's in. The state you put him in," he accused with a snarl.

"What did I do?" she cried, shaking her head, her dark hair falling across her shoulders. "We were just kissing and ....well... and he was... enjoying it so much... and.... things just... Well... I was tired of being lonely, Squall. I'm sorry I hurt you, but..."

"You didn't hurt me Rinoa," Squall sneered, grunting. "...Not like you think. You hurt him though."

Blankly, Rinoa blinked. "But... he..."

"And what made you think he wanted it, hmm?"

Her confusion washed away to indignation, and she planted her hands on her hips. "Well, just because you don't, doesn't mean a handsome guy like Seifer wouldn't want me!"

"Rinoa." Squall shook his head with an angry sigh, like he was speaking to an exceptionally dense, petulant child. "Just because a guy doesn't stop you, doesn't always mean they want you. Even 'a handsome guy like Seifer'."

"What do you mean? He was very gentle and..."

"And what?" he mocked in spitting, sarcastic contempt. "Passive maybe? Compliant? Or maybe 'catatonic' is the word you're looking for?"

"No... willing," she replied defiantly. "Believe it or not, willing! And... and... responsive!"

Squall laughed, a dark, dangerous sound. "He was anything but, Rinoa. Did you even bother to look beyond what you wanted and look at him? Look at his face? And look at the terror in his eyes? He was scared, Rinoa, not willing. You nearly raped him."

Her hand flew delicately to her face as she gasped in horror. "What?! No! I... I..."

"Yes, Rinoa. In your attempts to try to get even or get me jealous or whatever the fucking hell pathetic scheme this was a part of, you nearly raped Seifer Almasy."

"But, that's not..."

"No, that's what it was. I saw what you didn't want to; What didn't fucking fit into your perfect little rosy world of Rinoa. And it's not pretty, and it's not nice, and it's not what he wanted."

Rinoa's dark eyes darted about nervously, seeming to be afraid to alight on Squall. Well, she damn sure better be afraid! And anyone else who hurt Seifer! The only thing saving her at the moment was that she was Rinoa. Anyone else would be on intimate terms with his fists.

"I know, he..."

Know? "Know? You know? You don't know shit! Your pampered ass could never imagine the hell he's been through. Not that it would matter. You did know he tried to kill himself, and look how 'concerned' you were. He was in no condition to say 'no' to you and you didn't even fucking notice. Or care."

"I..." Tears welled in her eyes and fell down her cheeks. "I didn't know. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"That's not good enough. I'm sick and tired of you so set on getting what you want when you want it that you don't give a shit for what other people might want. Or not want. Like me. Like Seifer."

"I'm so sorry."

"Are you? Or are you sorry I'm disgusted with you? Sorry your precious little 'destined' romance is as good as shit under your precious little designer shoes? Sorry your pathetic little plan to get me jealous fucking backfired?"

"I...It...it's not..."

Squall lifted his hand to brush away the rest of her words. What she had to say didn't matter. There was no excuse, no explanation, that would erase what she had done. That would erase the pain and torment Seifer had suffered at the hands of someone he thought he could trust. That they both thought they could trust. "Whatever. It's over, Rinoa."

"What? Please, don't say that!" she sobbed.

"Sorry. I'm through saying what you want me to and doing what you want me to regardless of what I want. I think Seifer's a good example of you not giving a fuck for anyone else but yourself."

"That's not true! It's not! You..."

"Whatever..."

"Squall, no! I didn't... I... I'm n...not... horrible. I wouldn't..."

Squall scowled at her, his silence as accusing and angry as any of his words.

"Please, say you don't hate me? That we can work things out?"

He looked away, his arms folded stiffly across his chest, his jaw set in furious tension. But still, he didn't speak, too angry and overwhelmed for words. He didn't want to 'work things out'. Maybe he never did. And after what she had done to his Seifer, how could he? It would be like another betrayal, and Seifer had been hurt and betrayed more than anyone could ever deserve, except the bastards that broke him.

A SeeD in full uniform turned the corner and began walking down the hallway, towards them and one of the dorms. The young man glanced in their direction, on the verge of flashing a smile, but it and him froze at the cold glare Squall shot him. Squall wanted him to go away. Wanted everyone to just fucking go away!

Apparently, the SeeD heard Squall's unspoken command and fled back the way he had come, peering nervously over his shoulder as he turned the corner. I Inwardly, Squall smirked with cold satisfaction.

"Squall! Please!"

He dropped his head back against the door, and stared at the ceiling and the muted lights overhead, trying to tune out Rinoa's pathetic, distraught pleas. How many times did Seifer beg her to stop? Or did he? Outwardly? Seifer was so shattered and confused, his sense of self-preservation broken, he might not have known what to do. How could she have been so blind? How could he?

"Please! Don't hate me!"

Rolling his eyes, wearied, Squall sighed. "I don't hate you, Rinoa. I'm angry."

Her face lightened a little, a hopefulness blinking hesitantly through her tears.

"But no, we can't work things out."

"Why not? If it's because..." Her eyes falling in shame, she started to take a step toward him.

But he halted her with a dark look, his entire being exuding the danger of a Bomb on its last countdown. "You want something from me I can't give you, and I'm tired of trying."

"Squall, please, I know we can make it work."

"No, Rinoa. I'm not what you really want. I never was."

"How can you say that?" She clasped her hands in front of her breasts, like she was praying.

Yet, regardless of how much she might want otherwise, it would be a hopeless prayer. It was over. Finally. As it should have been before it started. And nothing would change his mind, not even divine intervention...

"I care about you, Squall. I love you."

... Not even meaningless declarations of love and caring. His eyes narrowing and his fingers digging into the leather of his jacket, Squall stared her down, the sway of his bangs in the circulating air giving the illusion of a disapproving nod. He was weary and drained, the emotion which had been driving him numbed, leaving behind his usual impassive mask. But even frost can bite.

"I've seen how you 'care'."

"Dammit, I said I was sorry," she snapped, hurt.

Squall closed his eyes. He was tired. Tired of her. Tired of her excuses. Tired of her thinking three little words would solve anything, would erase what she had done. Tired of seeing misery and pain in Seifer's eyes. Tired of failing, and Seifer suffering for it. Tired of being angry, but unwilling to give it up, because his anger wasn't only his own. Until Seifer was himself again, he would carry it for the both of them. "You're apologizing to the wrong person."

She took a cautious step forward. "Then I'll tell him too."

His eyes flashed open. "No."

"But..."

"I said, 'No'."

Her mouth opened to protest once more, but he interrupted her.

"No! You've disturbed him enough. Let it go. For now."

"Does that mean you forgive me?"

"No."

"Please, Squall." Rinoa reflexively reached for him, to touch him on the arm, but stopped and drew her hand back to her chest. "Don't hate me. I love you. And we did have some wonderful times together, right?"

"Maybe," he muttered with a shrug. "But too many of what you consider 'wonderful times' was me forcing myself to be something I'm not. You forcing me. I can't do that anymore. I won't do that anymore. "

"I just wanted you to show how you felt, to just be with me, and care about me, like I care about you, and show it."

He sighed. "I'm not that kind of person , Rinoa."

"But you can be with Seifer?"

"Huh?" Blinking, his brows scrunching together, he stared at her like she was daft. "That's different. He's a friend and he needs me."

"I need you, Squall. Why can you give him what you won't give me?"

"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. It's not even the same thing. And stop bringing him into this. It's not about him, it's about us."

"And why not?" Tilting her head to the side, she frowned. "You seem to have no problem finding time for him, and showing him caring and tenderness."

Once more finding the heat of his anger, Squall pushed off the door to loom over her, arms still across his chest. "I don't think you're in any position to comment on how I treat Seifer."

"I saw how you were with him." she accused, her voice tight and shrill. "I always have to drag that sort of response from you. And you just give it to him. For no reason!"

Fucking bitch! No reason? His fingers clenched with the desire to wring her neck. "No reason? No reason! Well, unlike you, he deserves it! And he doesn't fucking beg for it, unlike a spoiled bitch who can't get fucking enough of getting everyfuckingthing she wants, including a relationship I never fucking wanted, she has to get friends to fucking nag me into it!"

Placing her fists on her hips, she flipped her hair over her shoulder with a defiant toss of her head. "Maybe if you weren't such a heartless bastard, I wouldn't have to!" She paused, her dark eyes widening, shining with a sudden awareness, and lively with bitterness. "But then, seeing you with him, maybe you aren't so heartless, maybe I'm just the wrong sex!"

What the fuck did she just say? Was she implying... "What the fuck are you trying to imply, Rinoa?"

"I'm not implying anything!" she replied with mock sweetness. "I'll just say it: you're gay."

Squall blinked, eyes wide and incredulous. "You're crazy!" he laughed, dark and more of a grunted chuckle. She was absolutely insane. Gay? Him? Crazy! As if that somehow absolved her of all blame for the damage she had done. For hurting Seifer. "I'm not even going to dignify such a stupid comment by even discussing it!"

"Why? Afraid it's true? Or that now the truth's out?" she smirked.

If what she said wasn't enough to piss him off, the sheer smugness more than made up for it. But he wasn't going to play her idiot game, or let it get to him. He had better things to do and better people to do it with.

"Whatever."

"I knew it!"

"I knew you weren't too bright," he replied dryly. "...but do you have any brain-cells to rub together in that empty head of yours?"

"Being mean doesn't change the truth, Squall."

Squall threw his arms upward in exasperation. "For fuck's sake! I'm not gay!"

"Whatever," she mocked.

"That's all the proof I need that there's nothing I ever want to fix, if I can't help out a friend without you accusing me of being gay."

"And why does it have to be you always helping him? I thought you hated him?"

"Where the hell does everyone get that fucking idea! I never hated him, I even said so. Just no one seems to ever listen to what I actually say!" He wanted to beat his head against the wall. It would be more productive than what was passing for a conversation with Rinoa. And at least it would be more direct and morbidly satisfying than mentally bashing his head against a far denser wall of Rinoa's fantasy world.

"But you never say anything! It's always 'whatever' or gloomy silence! And you didn't answer me: why you?"

"Why? Why! You want why? Well, maybe because I fucking want to. I choose to. Or maybe because of things you would never understand since you had a family and people to care about you but were too spoiled and self-absorbed to appreciate it. He needs me, and in the end that's all that really matters."

"And why do you think that is, Squall?" she said with an accusatory tone. "Hmm?"

Yep, just a few smacks. Might even be pleasant. Comparatively. Not like the wall could be as dense. "Whatever..."

"Yeah, 'whatever'."

He'd had more of their 'conversation' than he could stand. And he'd left Seifer alone longer than he'd wanted. Running his hand through his chestnut hair, his fingers curling at his scalp in the urge to claw out every strand in frustration, he let out a deep sigh. "Look, I don't want to talk about this right now. You're angry.." 'Fucking nuts' was more accurate. "I'm angry, and I need to get back inside before he wakes up."

"Sure, whatever. You just go back to him and give him everything you won't give me. Hell, fuck him for all I care!"

His hands twitched, wanting to slap her, yet fortunately for her, she spun around and stalked away before Squall could act on it.

Bitch! How dare she say that! About Seifer! How could she? He thought she had cared for Seifer once, even loved him. But to be so cruel, insensitive to all Seifer had suffered and was still suffering, Squall couldn't believe even she could be that self-absorbed. It didn't take an Esthar scientist to realize something was dreadfully wrong with his gorgeous friend. How could she have not noticed how gone Seifer was? How much he wasn't himself?

If only he had found Seifer sooner, saved him from that hell, maybe... Maybe... Maybe...

Oh, shit! Rinoa! It was because of her that Seifer had even been found. Because of her he had Seifer back, safe. Finally safe. Because of her...

"Rinoa, wait!" he called, a pang of guilt caught in his throat.

She turned, her angry tear-filled eyes softening to a hopeful sadness.

"Thank you."

She blinked, her mouth hanging slightly open in surprise. "F..for what?"

"Helping me. Without you, I might have never found Seifer, or not in time to save him."

She nodded. "I do care about him too, you know. And... and I didn't..."

"I know," he said quietly. "I'm still angry, but I know. Thanks. And... I... am sorry about us. You should find someone who doesn't have to be someone he's not to be with you. We just aren't meant to be like you wanted us to be."

"I know," she sighed. "It hurts, but I know." She flashed a weak but genuine smile then turned and walked away.

(End Part 19)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author's notes: This chapter started out as at least 6 pages of just dialogue. I hope the flow between narrative and dialogue is somewhat smooth, as I filled in the narrative after, and a few spurts of dialogue where I felt it was needed. Although that is how I usually handle chapters, this one had far more than I'm used to, and to be honest, it got overwhelming and I got sick of looking at it.

First, Squall's reaction to Rinoa 'accusing' him of being gay isn't meant as an insult to homosexuality and I hope no one takes it that way. I have been building slowly to Squall discovering and getting in touch with his true feelings, and he isn't quite there yet. Yes, he's had homoerotic dreams, and romantic thoughts for Seifer, hell, he almost kissed him, but he hasn't let himself accept it yet. His reaction is more out of being confronted with the truth he isn't ready to admit, than him taking offense at the idea of being gay. (See, I've made Rinoa not completely clueless....more on this in the final chapter grin>)

Anyway, I had this chapter in mind when I began Arc 2, and much of the dialogue was written early on. I wanted to be relatively fair to the charcterization of Rinoa, but since I do see her as manipulative, immature, and self-absorbed, oh, and pushy, that of course colored how I dealt with the circumstances in this chapter and the end of the last one. I have kept in mind comments about her handling well Squall's true feelings (even if he still is clueless about some of them.) and have tempered a few lines to reflect that. Keep in mind Squall and Rinoa are arguing, he's beyond pissed and she's hurt and confused. Neither of them are behaving at their best through this chapter, although they have their moments. Squall may seem overly harsh with her, but he's angry, and although he seems to have forgotten the affection he did have for Rinoa, I haven't. I'll probably deal with the status of their relationship in Arc 3. Don't worry, there's no chance in hell they're getting back together. (Especially since I'm of the strong opinion that they were never compatible.) But there is a friendship that can be salvaged, once both their tempers have calmed. Sorry for the ramble, but it's something I felt I should make clear. shrug>

Well, now there's just one more chapter and Arc 2 will be complete. I hope you've enjoyed the ride so far, and I hope part 20 will be worth all the intense angst. No sex. (Not until well into Arc 3 and not necessarily graphic.) But it should be sweet, and satisfying on some level. No Rinoa, for starters... evil grin>

Thanks for all the comments I've recieved, they make my day, each one, and give that extra boost to keep going, even when the story is driving me crazy. Thanks!!!!

~Lady Tempest