Two knife.
Two knife against two throat.
Mac looked at her, almost amused.
-What do you think you are doing, little girl?-
They were looking in each others eyes. She didn't close hers, staring at his clear blues, and she felt like a stab in her chest.
-I thought I already told you: I want you dead.-
-Then what are you waiting for? You can do it now. Come on.-
Mac pushed himself inside her again, making her wince, and farther towards the blade, cutting slightly the skin of his neck.
In the same moment he pressed the blade of his knife harder against her skin too, making her raise her head by instinct. No more eye contact.
-Do it. Kill me. And you will come with me right away.-
She stayed still, not even daring to breathe.
-Seems like you don't really want me, and you, to die, despite everything. -
Didn't she?
Didn't she already faked her death?
Then why did she not find the courage to finally kill him?
All this time she had dreamed about it, but ended up incapable to do it.
She wasn't completely like him after all. She wasn't a killer.
That thought relifed her but made her feeling even weaker again too.
.you.- her words clenched between her teeth. He laughed.
-It's was all a little show to get my attention again.-
He caressed her skin with the blade, giving her goosebumps.
-Don't worry. You never lost it.-
He thrusted again in her harder then quickly raised his hand and hit her on the head with the knife's handle.
She lost consciousness, her blade clinked on the floor.
He took another sip of the beer, emptying the bottle and throwing it away from the car window, still driving along the road.
On the passenger side, the girl was a shaking mess, still silently sobbing, her red hair covering her face and her legs pulled to the chest, trying to cover herself as much as possible from him.
She wanted to disappear or just to wake up from that nightmare because, was that the reality?
Did it just really happen to her?
Another sharp pain hitted her groin, making her jump and moving slightly her legs for relief.
She could see a red trickle on her thigh, along with another fluid she didn't want to even think about. Mac saw that too.
He grinned. She closed her thigh again, looking away.
She woke up in his truck.
She could tell it even with her eyes still closed.
The old vehicle didn't cushion any bumps and she could feel her body moving by inertia, not caring to stay still.
Her head hurt, just were he had hit her and she raised her hand, trying to reach that spot.
Only in that moment she realized she was tied. Her eyes widened.
Her hands were tied together and the same rope was wrapped around the truck door handle. Same thing for her feet.
-Oh, you're up sweety.-
She looked at the man near her. Mac was driving careless, along the dusty and desert road. An arm out the car window and light wind to ruffle his hair.
She was fucked. No way to escape.
She could feel tears coming and she hid her face with her hands and air, not to give him satisfaction.
A sign escaped from her mouth and she inhaled how much air she could. His scent enveloped her completely.
Cigarette, smell of chemical compounds, sweat and sex.
Her clothes were gone. She was wearing just one of his shirts and her boots. Needless to say, her gun was gone.
She hold her breath, counting in her mind, trying to not break up right in front of him.
She turned around, looking outside. It was early, the sky was poorly lit and some stars were still visible. It was beautiful and she damned herself for this thought.
She hated Mac and she hated that place because of him. But she kept finding the beauty in there. She hated herself too.
-Were are we going?-
-You'll see.-
Mac left the road, reaching a spot between the canyons. Nothing around them. Just sand, rocks and dust.
-It's your time, little girl.- he smiled malicious, confusing her.
-What do you mean?- but he was already outside the truck and only the bump of the car door answered her.
She watches him as he looked around, probably making sure no one was there.
He was going to kill her. No doubt.
And then he would leave her there for some coyotes and vultures to eat.
That was her end.
The same she would have months ago if she hadn't run away. She had only delayed her departure.
She hold her breath again when he returned to her. He opened the truck door with force and she almost fell out because of the rope.
-Do you remember what you told me the first time we meet?- he asked while pulling out the knife and she thought he was going to kill her right in that moment.
Instead he cut the strings and grabbed her arm, pulling her out of the truck. He drew her to him, looking right into her eyes.
-Answer me! Do you remember?- and shook her roughly.
-I told you I was in vacation.- she tried to keep her face emotionless but her voice trembled.
-And what else?- he smiled again, so confident she wanted to split in his face. But she stood still and silent.
Then her face turned even paler and Mac smiled widly.
She told that she was searching for an interesting way to die. To show to the other self.
A fucking drunk's sentence was determining her death.
-I hope the others you appreciate the place I have reserved for ya. It's not much but the best you can find in this land of dead. They try to escape anywhere else and, instead, you just came here, between fucking dead people.-
He dragged her to a nearby rock and only here she realized they were on a cliff. Out of pure instinct she pulled back, ending up even closer to the man behind her and he just hold her.
-Now it's your choice.- he lowered himself, speaking to her near her ear.
-You can be one of these fucking zombies or became their queen.- she gasped at the warm breath on her skin.
-What does it means?- it came out like less than a whisper but Mac hear it anyway.
It was silent all around. It was just them.
-It means that, this time, I want make sure you really die. But...- he started to kiss her neck.
-...if you have changed your mind...- his tongue on the scar.
-You are crazy.- too much adrenaline she could hardly breathe. Her head was spinning and it came out natural to cling to his arms.
-Choose. Or I'll do it for you.- he simply said, still holding her.
She leaned over to look down from the cliff. It would be easy, only 4 or 5 steps and she will fall down. A second would be enough. No thinking, just act and it all will end.
She wondered how it would feel like, be in the air, just free falling. They call it "call of emptiness".
She could do it, she was sure.
Everyone already thought she was dead. She had say goodbye to her best girlfriend.
Her existence was lead only by Mac by then, only by the dream of her revenge.
She tried to relife herself, forgetting about him and everything he had done.
She had tried, really.
But she couldn't never heal completely. He had broke her and she had only struggle to kept the pieces together until now, without being able to reattach them.
Now she had failed her only goals too. And that was enough.
Don't think, just act.
The other her would see black soon.
She started to take a step but Mac held her back, sinking his hands into her skin so hard she gasped.
-Let me go!- but he completely ignored her.
He made her turn and kiss her like he wanted to devour her. His hands started roaming along her body, going under the male shirt she was wearing, leaving marks and redness, still keeping her far enough from the cliff.
She broke away from him, gasping for air and the desire to scream and hurt him even a little bit but he was so much stronger than her and she couldn't even move.
She only raised her head more while he closed her mouth with his hand and started to kiss and bite her neck again.
She watched the clear sky, some stars still there, and she just did it.
She tried to return Mac's hold and he let her. She kissed him too, roughly, like he always did. She moaned, letting him touch her whatever he wanted.
Lost. Completely lost in her.
He really was, now.
She moved a little bit, take some uncertain step, just to confuse him. Then she walked backwards, still holding him.
It was too late when Mac felt unbalanced. For some seconds they were in the air, then only black.
She jumped in her bed.
Her heart still pounding faster from the sensation of falling.
She turned, searching for the water bottle she had left on the ground the night before.
-You okay?-
She took a sip and turned again, watching Daryl in the bed, near her.
-Yeah, just a bad dream. Sorry I woke you up.-
-Don't. I wasn't sleeping already.-
-Anything's wrong?-
-Just a bad dream.-
She lay down again, on her side, watching him. His eyes were still sleepy but she could clearly see his clear blue irises.
-Do you want to talk about it?-
He was silent for a few seconds then shook his head.
-Ain't even remember it.-
She just nodded, continuing to look at him.
-It's still early. Go back to sleep.- he said again, closing his eyes.
-Daryl?-
-Mmh?- he opened them again.
-I love you.-
He smiled slightly, and she could see how his face was turning red while he drew her to him , hiding his face in the hollow of neck, kissing it lightly.
-Love you too.- it was a whisper but it makes her so happy, knowing how difficult was for him to talk like this.
She adjusted herself in his arms, the only place where she felt safe, you felt home. The only good thing that apocalypse brought in her life.
One of the other her has died. But it was okay: "She" was okay with that.
She hugged Daryl tighter to herself. He was so different from that man "she" had met, and she felt lucky.
The other herself would wait to see her die.
She had no intention of dying soon, even in the land of dead.