Part 15
Harm could feel his heart breaking. He quickly let her go and backed away. "Mac, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.I'm sorry. I'd never hurt you. I promise you that. Oh Mac, I could never do what he did. Never."
Mac nodded slightly, her heartbeat and breathing slowly returning to normal. "I know you wouldn't. Deep down I do. I just, he looked so much like you. And I..." Tears began to stream down her cheeks.
Tentatively, Harm made his way back to her and opened his arms to her.
Mac studied him for a moment before practically launching herself into his waiting embrace. "I was so scared that night, Harm. And I can still see him and feel him and.smell him." She swallowed hard. "He was so cruel and so rough. It hurt so badly." She sobbed, her face buried against his chest. "I just wanted to stop feeling. Harm, it felt so good to just be numb. And one drink turned into four and four turned into eight and before I knew it, I was drinking all the time. I'd have a couple before work, a few at lunch, and then I'd start as soon as I got home and I'd keep drinking until I just passed out."
Harm stayed silent, gently rubbing her back and rocking her slightly.
"I thought that I'd be okay, that I could get through it and then stop drinking, but, I can't do either. It's all still there when I close my eyes. I can't even go into my room at night and I can't sleep with the lights off. I'm stared to live in my own home."
"You could've come to me, Sarah." Harm said gently.
"I know, Harm, but I thought that I'd be okay. I really did. And I didn't want you to see me like that. I'm a marine, I can't be weak."
"Mac," Harm tilted her chin up so her eyes met his. "Yes, you're a marine, but you're also a woman and a human being. No one deserves to have that happen to them. And you shouldn't be going through this alone." He watched her nod slightly, her tears slowing. "So, we're going to get you sober and then I'll take you home. I'll stay with you as long as you need me to and we can find you someone to help you deal with what happened. How's that sound?"
Again, she nodded. "Thank you, Harm. I can't tell you how much this all means to me. You're going above and beyond the call of a best friend."
"That's because." He took a deep breath. "Mac, in my eyes, you're not just my best friend. You're my world. You're everything."
Mac laughed softly. "And you're full of it,"
"Mac." He groaned. "Will you just let me finish?"
"Sorry, go ahead." She smiled faintly.
"What I'm saying is, the reason I can't let go.I love you, Sarah."
Her eyes widened, her mouth dropping open slightly. "You.you really...you mean that?" She stammered.
"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it."
A smile slowly spread across her face. "I love you too, Harm."
He hugged her to him. "Only took us seven years to say it." He chuckled softly.
"Um, Harm, don't take this the wrong way." She got up and rushed to the bathroom, hearing Harm follow her in.
"I'll try not to take it personal." He smiled faintly and gently rubbed her back. "Right now we just need to get you better and then we can worry about us, okay?"
She nodded and sat back slowly after flushing the toilet.
"I'll give you all the time you need. You're worth the wait."
A playful groan escaped her. "Now that's love. You sitting here, being charming while I pray to the porcelain God."
"You're still the most beautiful thing I've ever laid my eyes on."
"Oh God." She laughed weakly. "You really are full of it."
"Hey, I can't help it. I call them like I see them."
Still smiling, she rolled her eyes and got up slowly, immediately feeling his hand go to the small of her back. She rinsed out her mouth and slowly made her way back to the bed.
"Do you want something to eat?" If looks could kill, he'd be a dead man. "Okay, just kidding."
"One, I've been throwing up all day and two, I'm not hungry anyway." She shrugged slightly and got under the covers. "Its all a part of it. I lost a ton of weight at Red Rock Mesa when I dried out last time."
He nodded and laid down beside her, playing idly with her hair. "If that changes, let me know and I'll make whatever you want."
"Even a big juicy greasy bacon cheeseburger?" She smirked.
"Yeah, even that." He groaned playfully. "The things we do for the woman we love." He shook his head. "Get some rest, Jarhead."
"Yes, sir." She smiled faintly and slowly drifted to sleep. It wasn't long before the dreams hit full force. She tossed and turned, whimpering as tears flowed down her cheeks.
"Mac.hey, wake up." Harm gently touched her cheek. //She's so clammy.// He thought. "Sarah, open your eyes, come on. You're okay, no one's hurting you."
Mac jolted awake. "No!" She screamed and grabbed him, flipping him over and off the bed. She heard the thud and groan as he landed.
Harm could feel his heart breaking. He quickly let her go and backed away. "Mac, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.I'm sorry. I'd never hurt you. I promise you that. Oh Mac, I could never do what he did. Never."
Mac nodded slightly, her heartbeat and breathing slowly returning to normal. "I know you wouldn't. Deep down I do. I just, he looked so much like you. And I..." Tears began to stream down her cheeks.
Tentatively, Harm made his way back to her and opened his arms to her.
Mac studied him for a moment before practically launching herself into his waiting embrace. "I was so scared that night, Harm. And I can still see him and feel him and.smell him." She swallowed hard. "He was so cruel and so rough. It hurt so badly." She sobbed, her face buried against his chest. "I just wanted to stop feeling. Harm, it felt so good to just be numb. And one drink turned into four and four turned into eight and before I knew it, I was drinking all the time. I'd have a couple before work, a few at lunch, and then I'd start as soon as I got home and I'd keep drinking until I just passed out."
Harm stayed silent, gently rubbing her back and rocking her slightly.
"I thought that I'd be okay, that I could get through it and then stop drinking, but, I can't do either. It's all still there when I close my eyes. I can't even go into my room at night and I can't sleep with the lights off. I'm stared to live in my own home."
"You could've come to me, Sarah." Harm said gently.
"I know, Harm, but I thought that I'd be okay. I really did. And I didn't want you to see me like that. I'm a marine, I can't be weak."
"Mac," Harm tilted her chin up so her eyes met his. "Yes, you're a marine, but you're also a woman and a human being. No one deserves to have that happen to them. And you shouldn't be going through this alone." He watched her nod slightly, her tears slowing. "So, we're going to get you sober and then I'll take you home. I'll stay with you as long as you need me to and we can find you someone to help you deal with what happened. How's that sound?"
Again, she nodded. "Thank you, Harm. I can't tell you how much this all means to me. You're going above and beyond the call of a best friend."
"That's because." He took a deep breath. "Mac, in my eyes, you're not just my best friend. You're my world. You're everything."
Mac laughed softly. "And you're full of it,"
"Mac." He groaned. "Will you just let me finish?"
"Sorry, go ahead." She smiled faintly.
"What I'm saying is, the reason I can't let go.I love you, Sarah."
Her eyes widened, her mouth dropping open slightly. "You.you really...you mean that?" She stammered.
"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it."
A smile slowly spread across her face. "I love you too, Harm."
He hugged her to him. "Only took us seven years to say it." He chuckled softly.
"Um, Harm, don't take this the wrong way." She got up and rushed to the bathroom, hearing Harm follow her in.
"I'll try not to take it personal." He smiled faintly and gently rubbed her back. "Right now we just need to get you better and then we can worry about us, okay?"
She nodded and sat back slowly after flushing the toilet.
"I'll give you all the time you need. You're worth the wait."
A playful groan escaped her. "Now that's love. You sitting here, being charming while I pray to the porcelain God."
"You're still the most beautiful thing I've ever laid my eyes on."
"Oh God." She laughed weakly. "You really are full of it."
"Hey, I can't help it. I call them like I see them."
Still smiling, she rolled her eyes and got up slowly, immediately feeling his hand go to the small of her back. She rinsed out her mouth and slowly made her way back to the bed.
"Do you want something to eat?" If looks could kill, he'd be a dead man. "Okay, just kidding."
"One, I've been throwing up all day and two, I'm not hungry anyway." She shrugged slightly and got under the covers. "Its all a part of it. I lost a ton of weight at Red Rock Mesa when I dried out last time."
He nodded and laid down beside her, playing idly with her hair. "If that changes, let me know and I'll make whatever you want."
"Even a big juicy greasy bacon cheeseburger?" She smirked.
"Yeah, even that." He groaned playfully. "The things we do for the woman we love." He shook his head. "Get some rest, Jarhead."
"Yes, sir." She smiled faintly and slowly drifted to sleep. It wasn't long before the dreams hit full force. She tossed and turned, whimpering as tears flowed down her cheeks.
"Mac.hey, wake up." Harm gently touched her cheek. //She's so clammy.// He thought. "Sarah, open your eyes, come on. You're okay, no one's hurting you."
Mac jolted awake. "No!" She screamed and grabbed him, flipping him over and off the bed. She heard the thud and groan as he landed.