Just a warning, this chapter contains a passage with a bit of swearing, and
marijuana references, and although it contains a relevant message. But
nothing too insulting we hope, so let us know if we've gone overboard.
Thanks to our reviewers: Edgy Wedgy, Edgy Wedgy, Edgy Wedgy, and Celtic Star Dawn. Ta lovies!
The Super Troopers take Middle Earth
Chapter Four.
Samwise patted Bill the pony lovingly, while Boromir piled packs onto the beast's back. Samantha was fiddling with her new Elven walking boots that were a gift from Arwen, trying to get used to them. Aragorn was all but singing his goodbyes to Arwen while Merry and Pippin made gagging noises. Frodo was staring off into space, waiting for the Fellowship to get all their stuff together. Legolas and Gimli were having a glaring contest, and Alysha was twanging the string of her new bow, and adjusting the straps of her magical bottomless backpack.
"I love you, Arwen," Aragorn sapped, "I'll be back soon and we'll get married, and live happily ever after and I-" Alysha cut him off.
"Alright, enough with the Days of our Lives shit, please, let's just get this show on the road and get as far as we can before I can't see my hand infront of my face." Everyone else sniggered; glad that Aragorn's pathetic, watery, sappy, mushy goodbyes were ended.
Blackjack had to stay in Rivendell, until Elrond went to see Galadriel in Lórien. They would send him back together, as a horse wasn't as easy to send through a time and space rip, back to another dimension as a pair of teenagers.
Elrond and a bunch of random elves waved as the Fellowship and the Super Troopers left Imaldris. The funky music started and the Fellowship moved through four or five scene sets in forty seconds. Next thing the Super Troopers knew they were sitting on a pile of rocks, watching Boromir teach Merry and Pippin to fight with their teeny-tiny-little hobbit swords.
Legolas jumped over Alysha, who was lying on the rock next to Samantha, both with a towel and bikini from her magical bottomless backpack, sun baking. Legolas stared off to the horizon at the funny cloud. "What's that?"
Boromir accidently hit Pippin's hand with the sword, and the two hobbits tackled him flat. Aragorn, smoking his weed, and Samwise eating on a rock next to Frodo cracked up laughing.
"It's nothing, just a whip of cloud," Gimli answered.
Boromir stood and looked at the cloud. "It's moving fast, against the wind."
"Oh my god! It's those spying birdie things from Dunland!" Alysha cried.
"Hide!" yelled Samantha and Aragorn at the same time.
Everyone dove into the nearest bush or under the nearest boulder. With the exception of the Super Troopers, who'd just stayed on the rock in their bikinis, Alysha pulling her blue-tinted sunglasses off the top of her head over her eyes.
"Alysha! Samantha! Get down!" Gandalf yelled. But the spying birdie things were getting closer, and Gandalf dived back behind his boulder.
The spying birdie things flew down towards their camp, squawking noisily. One swooped a little too close to Alysha for her comfort, and she sat bolt upright.
"BUGGER OFF!"
The spying birdie things started and scattered, before flying back towards the mountain range where they'd come from.
"Spies of Saruman," Gandalf stated as he climbed out from under his rock. "The passage South is being watched. We must take the pass over Caradhras."
The Fellowship did that annoying scene changing thing, and the Super Troopers were stumbling along behind the gang, still in their bikinis IN THE SNOW! Alysha was cursing so foully under her breath, that to hear her words would cause a fully grown man to break down in tears, crying for his mummy.
Alysha rummaged around in her bag, until she found a massive leather and fur-lined overcoat. She and Samantha walked close together, huddling under the jacket, and Samantha began to mutter about what she would do to Gandalf for dragging them over the snow.when she could feel her hands again.
At some point, the Super Troopers found thirty seconds to get changed into jeans and the big leather and fur-lined overcoats. Then that big annoying blizzard came a-blowing in.
Samantha, in her new Elven boots, and Legolas, being an Elf, walked on top of the snow, not sinking in up to their armpits like the rest of the Fellowship. Alysha glared at them, jealously.
Legolas jogged to the front of their little parade, standing above Gandalf, listening to the wind. "There is a fell voice on the air."
"It's Saruman," muttered Alysha.
"It's Saurmaaaaannn!" Gandy yelled.
"See."
The mountain above the Fellowship got hit by lightning and a heap of snow fell, covering everyone.except Alysha. She'd pulled an umbrella from her magical bottomless backpack, and the snow fell around her.
"Heeheehee."
Legolas popped out of the snow drift. Like a daisy. The hobbits that were connected to Boromir came out of the drift, coughing and spluttering, flowed shortly by Gimli doing his funny little growly thing.
Gimli: "Grrrah!"
"He's trying to bring down the mountain. Gandalf, we must go back and make for the Gap of Rohan," Aragorn yelled to the wrinkly old guy at the front of the line.
"NOOOO!!" Gandalf yelled like a whining child who didn't want to go visit Granny.
"The Gap of Rohan takes us too close to Isengard," Boromir stated.
Gimli started jumping up and down, "If we cannot go over the mountain, let us go under it, let us go through the mines of Moria."
Saruman's voice over: "Moria.you fear to go into those mines. The dwarves delved too greedily, and to deep, you know what they awoke in the deep parts of the Earth. Shadow and Flame."
"Let the Ringbearer decide."
Frodo considered for a moment. "We shall go through the Gap of Rohan."
Gandalf nodded, "Very w-"
Gimli threw himself onto the snow, kicking and wailing, "I wanna go through the mines! I wanna go thorough the mines! I don't wanna go to the big, stupid Gap of Rohan! I wanna see Balin in Moria!"
Blink. Blink.
"Fine," said Frodo, "We'll go through the mines."
Gandalf sighed, and Alysha struggled to put her umbrella back into her magical bottomless backpack.
On arriving, the doors to Moria were glowing, and Gandalf translated the words above the door. He began to say 'open, open' in every language conceivable, and he doors still wouldn't open.
Alysha walked quietly over to Sammi. "Do you think we should tell him it's a riddle yet?"
Samantha debated for a second, before they both decided.
"Nah."
"They'll figure it out eventually, and we'd be taking Frodo's due credit away from him if we told Gandy."
"Told Gandalf what?" Asked Frodo, coming over to the Super Troopers.
"Oh, just that the doors are a riddle and that you have to say the Elvish word for friend to get in."
"Alysha!"
"Oh, oops."
Frodo ran over to Gandalf, "Gandalf, it's a riddle! What's the Elvish word for friend?"
Gandalf opened his mouth to reply, but Samantha cut him off. "Why would you ask a wizard what the Elvish word for friend is? Why not ask an Elf?" She waved at Legolas, who was sitting under a stubby excuse for a tree, trying to get comfortable.
"Mellon," he said. The doors swung open, the stone making an awful grounding noise.
The Super Troopers stood at the door, not sure whether to go inside or not. The water rippled, and the double bass music started playing in the background. From inside they heard Boromir yell for everyone to get out.
A tentacle slid past The Super Troopers, grabbing Frodo by the ankle. Alysha pouted angrily. "Why does everything always happen to Frodo? Stupid, little attention seeker."
"STRIDER!" The hobbit screeched from where he was dangling above the water. Merry began hacking at the tentacle with his sword while the other two pulled at Frodo's wrists. Boromir came charging out with Legolas and Aragorn close in tow. They began chopping and shooting the Guardian's tentacles. Alysha just watched amusedly, Samantha collapsed in a fit of giggles on the ground next to her.
"I reckon that thing'd make a hell of a lot of calamari, don't ya reckon?"
Samantha was giggling to the point of hyperventilation by now, but the pair decided it would be a good idea to help. They jumped up and bolted into the water, each grabbing as many tentacles at once as they could.
"GO!" Sammi yelled. They ran around each other several times, still holding the tentacles, the result being a lovely braid.
While Samantha held on, Alysha tied the bundle of floppy things up with a big pink ribbon from her magical bottomless backpack. By this stage, the rest of the Fellowship had gotten Frodo back, and were presently dragging the Super Troopers back into the mines.
The roof collapsed and the door was blocked off, but no-one could figure out how that happened.
"We have only one choice. We must face the long dark of Moria," Gandalf announced.
"Everyone, watch out for Balrogs!" warned Alysha.
"And cave trolls!" added Samantha.
"Don't forget about the orcs," they stated together, before giggling insanely.
The hobbits now looked down right terrified. Not without good reason, considering Gandalf couldn't remember where he was half the time. He was always saying "Where are we again," or "I have no memory of this place."
The Fellowship plus the Super Troopers were sitting around at a junction, waiting for Gandalf to remember where they were going. The hobbits, (all but Frodo) the two men, the dwarf and the wizard all broke out the bongs, and began to smoke their weed. Legolas, Alysha, Samantha, and Frodo pulled disgusted faces. Alysha began grabbing bongs from everyone and throwing them down into the ravine.
"Hey! What the hell was that for?!" Aragorn growled angrily. Alysha punched him in the nose.
"Smoking is bad for your health, you bloody moron. Weed is even worse. It's no wonder Gandy doesn't have a clue where he is, and why his skin is so awful, he's a fucking pothead, just like the rest of you!"
She was getting a little worked up.
Samantha pulled her best friend into a hug and walked her away from the group, followed by Legolas and Frodo, wanting to get away from the smoke.
Gandalf looked around and sniffed the air. "It's that way," he said, walking towards a passage.
"Ah, he's remembered!" Merry cried happily.
"No, but the air doesn't smell so foul down here. If in doubt, Meriadoc, always follow you're nose."
"It only smells better because that passage isn't full of dead bodies and bong-smoke," Alysha muttered, as she sulked at the back of the group. Samantha just smiled, and patted her on the shoulder.
The Fellowship plus the Super Troopers entered the massive hall of the Darrowdelf.
"Wow, big hall."
Yep, Samantha can always sum up a situation in less than five words. There was light to their right, and the gang could see a shaft of sunlight coming through the roof, into a room.
"That's the tomb," Samantha whispered to Sam and Pippin. Gimli, behind them, gasped and bolted towards the light. He broke down crying at the foot of the tomb, and Gandalf read to everyone the inscription on the stone.
"'Here lies Balin, Lord of Moria.' He is dead then." The atmosphere was sombre.
"We need a wake," announced Alysha.
"What?"
"A wake, it's a party that we have after a funeral to celebrate the person's life, and to make the grieving after the funeral a bit easier. We should have one for Balin, and all the other dwarves who died here."
Gimli smiled, though you couldn't really tell through is beard. "Break out the Elf-liquor." And he began to drink from a hip flask. An hour later, the Fellowship and the Super Troopers, were pleasantly wasted, making merry, and talking, but somehow, the boom box Alysha had pulled from her magical bottomless backpack didn't alert every orc in Moria of their presence.
The next day, they all woke up all over the tomb, some a little hung over, some not.
Gimli was curled up with his arms around Gandalf; Aragorn, Hobbit Sam, and Frodo were splayed over the tomb; Boromir was sitting against the wall with Pippin and Merry using his legs like pillows and Samantha was asleep under his shield, and somehow, after all the hours, Alysha and Legolas were still going, drinking the last few drops of Elf-liquor from one of Gimli's many hip flasks. But they were so far gone; they may as well have been asleep, anyway.
Pippin woke up, and wandered around, knocking into things, and bumping things over. He woke everyone.
"Fool of a Took," Gandalf grumbled, clutching his head and moaning in pain.
Pippin stumbled, and bumped into the well, knocking the carcass of a dwarf in, and causing an echo to bounce around all of Moria.
"Throw yourself in next time and rid us of your stupidity."
The drums began to thump, and most of the Fellowship grabbed their ears, groaning in pain. HANGOVER!! Alysha and Legolas were imitating the drums.
"Boom, Boom, hic, boom." They broke into a fit of drunken giggles.
Boromir staggered to the door, and peeked outside. He nearly got hit by a bunch of arrows. "They have one of 'em big thingies, those...ahh, cave hobbits, no troll, they have a cave troll."
"Goody! I love this part!" Samantha had an illegal amount of enthusiasm for this hour of morning.
Gimli jumped up on Balin's tomb. "Let them come! There's one dwarf in Moria yet who still draws breath!"
The doors were barred, and Aragorn was trying to get Legolas to pick up his bow and help defend the door. A hole appeared in the wood, and Legolas shot drunkenly at the door, his aim hitting the hole perfectly anyway.
The orcs burst through the door, and did their awful screechy thing. Alysha mooned them. A good half of the orcs stopped in horror and bolted for all they were worth after seeing that.
"Heeheehee."
Samwise jumped out of the way, as the cave hobbit, ah, troll smashed it's was into the room. Samantha squealed and pulled Boromir's shield over her head, but not before Alysha dove in with her.
The Fellowship cleaned up the rest of the orcs and the cave troll, before the Super Troopers even thought about coming out from where they were hiding under Boromir's massive shield.
"Well," Samantha announced, "I did a bloody good job, don't ya think?"
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*
Well, that was chapter four, and the next one is on its way. Apologies for the character mutilation, but we thought it was funny when we wrote it. hehehe.
.:~*~:. Peace, out Nimloth & Andu?nië
Thanks to our reviewers: Edgy Wedgy, Edgy Wedgy, Edgy Wedgy, and Celtic Star Dawn. Ta lovies!
The Super Troopers take Middle Earth
Chapter Four.
Samwise patted Bill the pony lovingly, while Boromir piled packs onto the beast's back. Samantha was fiddling with her new Elven walking boots that were a gift from Arwen, trying to get used to them. Aragorn was all but singing his goodbyes to Arwen while Merry and Pippin made gagging noises. Frodo was staring off into space, waiting for the Fellowship to get all their stuff together. Legolas and Gimli were having a glaring contest, and Alysha was twanging the string of her new bow, and adjusting the straps of her magical bottomless backpack.
"I love you, Arwen," Aragorn sapped, "I'll be back soon and we'll get married, and live happily ever after and I-" Alysha cut him off.
"Alright, enough with the Days of our Lives shit, please, let's just get this show on the road and get as far as we can before I can't see my hand infront of my face." Everyone else sniggered; glad that Aragorn's pathetic, watery, sappy, mushy goodbyes were ended.
Blackjack had to stay in Rivendell, until Elrond went to see Galadriel in Lórien. They would send him back together, as a horse wasn't as easy to send through a time and space rip, back to another dimension as a pair of teenagers.
Elrond and a bunch of random elves waved as the Fellowship and the Super Troopers left Imaldris. The funky music started and the Fellowship moved through four or five scene sets in forty seconds. Next thing the Super Troopers knew they were sitting on a pile of rocks, watching Boromir teach Merry and Pippin to fight with their teeny-tiny-little hobbit swords.
Legolas jumped over Alysha, who was lying on the rock next to Samantha, both with a towel and bikini from her magical bottomless backpack, sun baking. Legolas stared off to the horizon at the funny cloud. "What's that?"
Boromir accidently hit Pippin's hand with the sword, and the two hobbits tackled him flat. Aragorn, smoking his weed, and Samwise eating on a rock next to Frodo cracked up laughing.
"It's nothing, just a whip of cloud," Gimli answered.
Boromir stood and looked at the cloud. "It's moving fast, against the wind."
"Oh my god! It's those spying birdie things from Dunland!" Alysha cried.
"Hide!" yelled Samantha and Aragorn at the same time.
Everyone dove into the nearest bush or under the nearest boulder. With the exception of the Super Troopers, who'd just stayed on the rock in their bikinis, Alysha pulling her blue-tinted sunglasses off the top of her head over her eyes.
"Alysha! Samantha! Get down!" Gandalf yelled. But the spying birdie things were getting closer, and Gandalf dived back behind his boulder.
The spying birdie things flew down towards their camp, squawking noisily. One swooped a little too close to Alysha for her comfort, and she sat bolt upright.
"BUGGER OFF!"
The spying birdie things started and scattered, before flying back towards the mountain range where they'd come from.
"Spies of Saruman," Gandalf stated as he climbed out from under his rock. "The passage South is being watched. We must take the pass over Caradhras."
The Fellowship did that annoying scene changing thing, and the Super Troopers were stumbling along behind the gang, still in their bikinis IN THE SNOW! Alysha was cursing so foully under her breath, that to hear her words would cause a fully grown man to break down in tears, crying for his mummy.
Alysha rummaged around in her bag, until she found a massive leather and fur-lined overcoat. She and Samantha walked close together, huddling under the jacket, and Samantha began to mutter about what she would do to Gandalf for dragging them over the snow.when she could feel her hands again.
At some point, the Super Troopers found thirty seconds to get changed into jeans and the big leather and fur-lined overcoats. Then that big annoying blizzard came a-blowing in.
Samantha, in her new Elven boots, and Legolas, being an Elf, walked on top of the snow, not sinking in up to their armpits like the rest of the Fellowship. Alysha glared at them, jealously.
Legolas jogged to the front of their little parade, standing above Gandalf, listening to the wind. "There is a fell voice on the air."
"It's Saruman," muttered Alysha.
"It's Saurmaaaaannn!" Gandy yelled.
"See."
The mountain above the Fellowship got hit by lightning and a heap of snow fell, covering everyone.except Alysha. She'd pulled an umbrella from her magical bottomless backpack, and the snow fell around her.
"Heeheehee."
Legolas popped out of the snow drift. Like a daisy. The hobbits that were connected to Boromir came out of the drift, coughing and spluttering, flowed shortly by Gimli doing his funny little growly thing.
Gimli: "Grrrah!"
"He's trying to bring down the mountain. Gandalf, we must go back and make for the Gap of Rohan," Aragorn yelled to the wrinkly old guy at the front of the line.
"NOOOO!!" Gandalf yelled like a whining child who didn't want to go visit Granny.
"The Gap of Rohan takes us too close to Isengard," Boromir stated.
Gimli started jumping up and down, "If we cannot go over the mountain, let us go under it, let us go through the mines of Moria."
Saruman's voice over: "Moria.you fear to go into those mines. The dwarves delved too greedily, and to deep, you know what they awoke in the deep parts of the Earth. Shadow and Flame."
"Let the Ringbearer decide."
Frodo considered for a moment. "We shall go through the Gap of Rohan."
Gandalf nodded, "Very w-"
Gimli threw himself onto the snow, kicking and wailing, "I wanna go through the mines! I wanna go thorough the mines! I don't wanna go to the big, stupid Gap of Rohan! I wanna see Balin in Moria!"
Blink. Blink.
"Fine," said Frodo, "We'll go through the mines."
Gandalf sighed, and Alysha struggled to put her umbrella back into her magical bottomless backpack.
On arriving, the doors to Moria were glowing, and Gandalf translated the words above the door. He began to say 'open, open' in every language conceivable, and he doors still wouldn't open.
Alysha walked quietly over to Sammi. "Do you think we should tell him it's a riddle yet?"
Samantha debated for a second, before they both decided.
"Nah."
"They'll figure it out eventually, and we'd be taking Frodo's due credit away from him if we told Gandy."
"Told Gandalf what?" Asked Frodo, coming over to the Super Troopers.
"Oh, just that the doors are a riddle and that you have to say the Elvish word for friend to get in."
"Alysha!"
"Oh, oops."
Frodo ran over to Gandalf, "Gandalf, it's a riddle! What's the Elvish word for friend?"
Gandalf opened his mouth to reply, but Samantha cut him off. "Why would you ask a wizard what the Elvish word for friend is? Why not ask an Elf?" She waved at Legolas, who was sitting under a stubby excuse for a tree, trying to get comfortable.
"Mellon," he said. The doors swung open, the stone making an awful grounding noise.
The Super Troopers stood at the door, not sure whether to go inside or not. The water rippled, and the double bass music started playing in the background. From inside they heard Boromir yell for everyone to get out.
A tentacle slid past The Super Troopers, grabbing Frodo by the ankle. Alysha pouted angrily. "Why does everything always happen to Frodo? Stupid, little attention seeker."
"STRIDER!" The hobbit screeched from where he was dangling above the water. Merry began hacking at the tentacle with his sword while the other two pulled at Frodo's wrists. Boromir came charging out with Legolas and Aragorn close in tow. They began chopping and shooting the Guardian's tentacles. Alysha just watched amusedly, Samantha collapsed in a fit of giggles on the ground next to her.
"I reckon that thing'd make a hell of a lot of calamari, don't ya reckon?"
Samantha was giggling to the point of hyperventilation by now, but the pair decided it would be a good idea to help. They jumped up and bolted into the water, each grabbing as many tentacles at once as they could.
"GO!" Sammi yelled. They ran around each other several times, still holding the tentacles, the result being a lovely braid.
While Samantha held on, Alysha tied the bundle of floppy things up with a big pink ribbon from her magical bottomless backpack. By this stage, the rest of the Fellowship had gotten Frodo back, and were presently dragging the Super Troopers back into the mines.
The roof collapsed and the door was blocked off, but no-one could figure out how that happened.
"We have only one choice. We must face the long dark of Moria," Gandalf announced.
"Everyone, watch out for Balrogs!" warned Alysha.
"And cave trolls!" added Samantha.
"Don't forget about the orcs," they stated together, before giggling insanely.
The hobbits now looked down right terrified. Not without good reason, considering Gandalf couldn't remember where he was half the time. He was always saying "Where are we again," or "I have no memory of this place."
The Fellowship plus the Super Troopers were sitting around at a junction, waiting for Gandalf to remember where they were going. The hobbits, (all but Frodo) the two men, the dwarf and the wizard all broke out the bongs, and began to smoke their weed. Legolas, Alysha, Samantha, and Frodo pulled disgusted faces. Alysha began grabbing bongs from everyone and throwing them down into the ravine.
"Hey! What the hell was that for?!" Aragorn growled angrily. Alysha punched him in the nose.
"Smoking is bad for your health, you bloody moron. Weed is even worse. It's no wonder Gandy doesn't have a clue where he is, and why his skin is so awful, he's a fucking pothead, just like the rest of you!"
She was getting a little worked up.
Samantha pulled her best friend into a hug and walked her away from the group, followed by Legolas and Frodo, wanting to get away from the smoke.
Gandalf looked around and sniffed the air. "It's that way," he said, walking towards a passage.
"Ah, he's remembered!" Merry cried happily.
"No, but the air doesn't smell so foul down here. If in doubt, Meriadoc, always follow you're nose."
"It only smells better because that passage isn't full of dead bodies and bong-smoke," Alysha muttered, as she sulked at the back of the group. Samantha just smiled, and patted her on the shoulder.
The Fellowship plus the Super Troopers entered the massive hall of the Darrowdelf.
"Wow, big hall."
Yep, Samantha can always sum up a situation in less than five words. There was light to their right, and the gang could see a shaft of sunlight coming through the roof, into a room.
"That's the tomb," Samantha whispered to Sam and Pippin. Gimli, behind them, gasped and bolted towards the light. He broke down crying at the foot of the tomb, and Gandalf read to everyone the inscription on the stone.
"'Here lies Balin, Lord of Moria.' He is dead then." The atmosphere was sombre.
"We need a wake," announced Alysha.
"What?"
"A wake, it's a party that we have after a funeral to celebrate the person's life, and to make the grieving after the funeral a bit easier. We should have one for Balin, and all the other dwarves who died here."
Gimli smiled, though you couldn't really tell through is beard. "Break out the Elf-liquor." And he began to drink from a hip flask. An hour later, the Fellowship and the Super Troopers, were pleasantly wasted, making merry, and talking, but somehow, the boom box Alysha had pulled from her magical bottomless backpack didn't alert every orc in Moria of their presence.
The next day, they all woke up all over the tomb, some a little hung over, some not.
Gimli was curled up with his arms around Gandalf; Aragorn, Hobbit Sam, and Frodo were splayed over the tomb; Boromir was sitting against the wall with Pippin and Merry using his legs like pillows and Samantha was asleep under his shield, and somehow, after all the hours, Alysha and Legolas were still going, drinking the last few drops of Elf-liquor from one of Gimli's many hip flasks. But they were so far gone; they may as well have been asleep, anyway.
Pippin woke up, and wandered around, knocking into things, and bumping things over. He woke everyone.
"Fool of a Took," Gandalf grumbled, clutching his head and moaning in pain.
Pippin stumbled, and bumped into the well, knocking the carcass of a dwarf in, and causing an echo to bounce around all of Moria.
"Throw yourself in next time and rid us of your stupidity."
The drums began to thump, and most of the Fellowship grabbed their ears, groaning in pain. HANGOVER!! Alysha and Legolas were imitating the drums.
"Boom, Boom, hic, boom." They broke into a fit of drunken giggles.
Boromir staggered to the door, and peeked outside. He nearly got hit by a bunch of arrows. "They have one of 'em big thingies, those...ahh, cave hobbits, no troll, they have a cave troll."
"Goody! I love this part!" Samantha had an illegal amount of enthusiasm for this hour of morning.
Gimli jumped up on Balin's tomb. "Let them come! There's one dwarf in Moria yet who still draws breath!"
The doors were barred, and Aragorn was trying to get Legolas to pick up his bow and help defend the door. A hole appeared in the wood, and Legolas shot drunkenly at the door, his aim hitting the hole perfectly anyway.
The orcs burst through the door, and did their awful screechy thing. Alysha mooned them. A good half of the orcs stopped in horror and bolted for all they were worth after seeing that.
"Heeheehee."
Samwise jumped out of the way, as the cave hobbit, ah, troll smashed it's was into the room. Samantha squealed and pulled Boromir's shield over her head, but not before Alysha dove in with her.
The Fellowship cleaned up the rest of the orcs and the cave troll, before the Super Troopers even thought about coming out from where they were hiding under Boromir's massive shield.
"Well," Samantha announced, "I did a bloody good job, don't ya think?"
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*
Well, that was chapter four, and the next one is on its way. Apologies for the character mutilation, but we thought it was funny when we wrote it. hehehe.
.:~*~:. Peace, out Nimloth & Andu?nië