AN: Sorry it took sooooo long to update, but there's this thing called
time, which neither of us have anymore. But hey, on with the story.
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The Super Troopers take Middle Earth Chapter 5
The Fellowship plus the Super Troopers ran from the tomb of Balin, and into the great hall of Darrowdelf. All around them, Orcs were appearing, running down the pillars, popping out of random cracks in walls, climbing out of holes in the floor. Before they knew what was happening, they were completely surrounded.
"Look! A diversion!" Alysha yelled, pointing in the first random direction she thought of, and all the orcs looked.
The Fellowship and The Super Troopers snuck through the wall of ugly little snarling creatures and continued to run towards the Bridge of Khazad-Dûm.
Halfway across the hall, Sammi noticed that the orcs had disappeared as quickly as they'd come, and the far corner of the hall looked to be alight. Then the big, bad, Balrog came into view. Gandalf could be heard yelling 'Swords are of no more use here! Fly!' And the flaming bull-like thingy got even closer.
"Oh, shittie poo poo head. Alysha! Oi! Moron, we need to do something about that damn Balrog, it's singeing my hair!"
Alysha shrugged, and pulled a couple of fire-extinguishers from her magical- bottomless backpack, and tossed one to her fellow Super Trooper.
"Ready?"
Sammi nodded, ready. Alysha swung the fire-extinguisher's hose in the air and yelled "CHARGE!"
The manic pair ran straight at the flaming beast, which skidded to a halt, staring in the utter most horror at the contraptions in the girls' hands. It turned and attempted to flee, but the Super Troopers were on it in a second, spraying their chemical foam all over the Balrog, putting out its bodily flames.
"Take that, fascist demon!"
The Balrog covered its privates, no longer wearing its flaming frock, and blushed pink. Sammi wiggled her pinkie finger at it, crudely mocking its embarrassing situation, and Alysha frolicked about, doing the happy dance again.
"Off you go then, buh-bye, tata, bon voyage!" Sammi waved innocently at the Balrog, as it slinked away, though Alysha, showing no shame or modesty, waved but a singular finger in a rather crude fashion. She giggled wackily.
Apparently the Fellowship was getting used to their companion's atrocious antics and bizarre behaviour. They merely shrugged, and the hobbits thanked the Super Troopers for getting rid of the big, bad Balrog.
So on they journeyed, and upon arriving at the Bridge of Khazad-Dûm, the super Troopers made a shocking realization. Gandalf was still alive, and the Balrog was no longer around to get him to fall into the crevasse. The whole story would be ruined and their chances of getting to Lórien were screwed.
"You think you can handle a diversion? I'll take care of the rest," Sammi said quietly to Alysha. Alysha grinned evilly, and nodded. Samantha frowned. "A diversion that doesn't involve running around naked, my eyes have seen enough horror in the past few days thank you very much, Alysha."
Alysha pouted, and turned to the rest of the Fellowship. Same trick she played on the orcs. "Look! A diversion so Samantha can shove Gandalf into the big gorge without you seeing!"
The Fellowship looked.
Samantha shoved.
Gandalf fell.
Everyone gasped.
"Oh, nooooo! Poor Gandy fell off the bridge! Dearie me. What ever will we do?" Sammi said with no emotion in her voice.
"Everyone look sad like you'll miss him," Alysha quipped, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
The hobbits were in tears, Aragorn's mouth was hanging open in shock, Legolas and Gimli were nowhere to be seen, and Boromir had picked up Frodo, who was attempting to fling himself into the black hole after Gandalf, as if he had a chance to save the old geezer.
"Okie doke, enough mourning, let's go! Lórien, here we come!" Alysha and Sammi happily began to skip towards the green exit sign hanging on the wall.
***
Outside Moria, the Fellowship broke down and allowed themselves to grieve Gandalf's 'tragic demise' by collapsing onto the ground crying their eyes out. Only Aragorn and the Super Troopers seemed to be temporarily unfazed by the old fellow's departure.
Well, Aragorn had to keep professional, for he was now the leader of the Fellowship of the Ring, and the Super Troopers knew Gandy'd be back eventually.
"Legolas get them up," Aragorn said softly to the elf. Legolas looked at him strangely, almost as if he didn't understand the command.
"Give them a moment for pity's sake!" Boromir scolded Aragorn, motioning towards Pippin who was curled up in a ball with his head on Merry's lap, crying like a baby.
"By nightfall these hills will be swarming with orcs," Aragorn reasoned. "We must reach the woods of Lorthlórien." And he proceeded to pull Samwise to his feet.
Sammi helped Merry up, giving him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. Alysha 'accidently' tripped over Aragorn's pack, spilling its contents everywhere. Sammi smirked. There was a caring side to Alysha, and she obviously didn't appreciate that Aragorn had been so heartless about losing Gandalf, even if it was partly her fault. Occasionally, Alysha let other people see that deep down she did have a heart. Samantha's thoughts were interrupted by the thud of Alysha 'clumsily knocking Strider in the head with a fire- extinguisher.'
Maybe deep down. REALLY deep down. Like as deep as her magical bottomless backpack, maybe??
So on they journeyed, spending most of the time jogging (or in Alysha's case, riding her trail bike) towards the Golden Wood. Legolas practically danced with joy to be in the trees again, especially such as the ones growing in Lórien.
Alysha got off her trail bike and by some unknown miracle, shoved it back into her backpack and continued to walk like a civilized person.
"Stay close, young hobbits," Gimli said, motioning for Frodo and Merry to step closer. "They say a great sorceress lives in these woods. An elf-witch of terrible power."
Galadriel's voice floated on the air: "You're coming to us."
Gimli continued; "All who see her, fall under her spell."
Galadriel's ghostly voice was at their ears again; "These are the footsteps of doom. You bring great evil here, Ring-Bearer."
"Can it, Gladdie, it's not like the poor hobbit had a choice in the matter," Samantha said irritably.
".And are never seen again." Gimli finally finished. "Well, here's one dwarf she won't ensnare so easily. I have the eyes of a hawk, and ears of a fox!"
"HI, HALDIR!" Alysha said loudly, ruining his surprise entrance. The blonde elf pouted and knocked an arrow anyway, pointing it into her face. Alysha fought back a grin, and lost her control at the sound of Legolas readying his own arrow next to her in their defence. She collapsed onto the ground in a fit off giggles, shortly followed by Samantha, and the hobbits. Gimli, Boromir and Aragorn were still standing, snickering as they attempted to hold guard, and even the Elves were struggling to keep straight faces.
Alysha had always had the talent to make people laugh, no matter how depressing or infuriating a situation may be. She only had to think something amusing, and Samantha would break up.
"Well, aside from the yelling mortal," Haldir started as he eyed Alysha, "the dwarf breathes so loud we could have shot him in the dark."
"Well, that's not nice, Hally!" Gawd, Sammi had already given him a nickname. Heaven help him. Well he was kind of cute.
Aragorn straightened up, and asked Haldir for the protection of the Lady of the Wood.
"The Lady never mentioned a mixed up fellowship of anything needing protection, but she did mention that there would be two mortal little girls. (Alysha and Samantha tag-team death glare) ladies," Haldir corrected himself, "would need her counsel."
"Goodo, off we go then! Gladdie, here we come!"
***
"When will they end?!" Sammi wailed, climbing the seemingly endless flight of stairs up the side of a tree, into the tree top city of Lórien. Alysha beside her shrugged, and continued to count.
"1538.1539.1540."
They were barely half way!
Upon reaching the top of the tree, Lady Galadriel and Celeborn came down the stair, glowing in their funny elven light. Galadriel spoke to each of the members of the Fellowship in turn, talking both out loud, and in everyone's head.
When her greetings had finished, the Super Troopers wasted no time, in gushing about how beautiful her hair was, and begged her to tell them what shampoo she used, while at the same time, suggesting that she drop the lace flowing thing, and go for a garment that required a little less maintenance.
"I thank you pair for your compliments and I suggest that you go with the Fellowship and rest. Tomorrow, you will come to my talan, and we shall have our own little Council about how to get the pair of you home, is that a deal?"
The Super Troopers nodded, and bounded down the 3584 steps to where the Fellowship was camped at the bottom, near a little fountain.
Alysha pulled a boom box from her magical bottomless backpack, and began to play her version of relaxation music: a mixture of motorcycle engines, horse whinnies, rain and someone laughing. Although loud and unconventional, the 'music' had the desired affect, and the whole Fellowship was asleep within minutes.
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*
Short 'n' sweet, hope you liked it! Next up, a decision on the Super Trooper's fate, and dun dun duuuuuun, that Final Battle Scene! OoOoOoOoooh. See you all soon.
Peace, out Nimloth and Andúnië
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*
The Super Troopers take Middle Earth Chapter 5
The Fellowship plus the Super Troopers ran from the tomb of Balin, and into the great hall of Darrowdelf. All around them, Orcs were appearing, running down the pillars, popping out of random cracks in walls, climbing out of holes in the floor. Before they knew what was happening, they were completely surrounded.
"Look! A diversion!" Alysha yelled, pointing in the first random direction she thought of, and all the orcs looked.
The Fellowship and The Super Troopers snuck through the wall of ugly little snarling creatures and continued to run towards the Bridge of Khazad-Dûm.
Halfway across the hall, Sammi noticed that the orcs had disappeared as quickly as they'd come, and the far corner of the hall looked to be alight. Then the big, bad, Balrog came into view. Gandalf could be heard yelling 'Swords are of no more use here! Fly!' And the flaming bull-like thingy got even closer.
"Oh, shittie poo poo head. Alysha! Oi! Moron, we need to do something about that damn Balrog, it's singeing my hair!"
Alysha shrugged, and pulled a couple of fire-extinguishers from her magical- bottomless backpack, and tossed one to her fellow Super Trooper.
"Ready?"
Sammi nodded, ready. Alysha swung the fire-extinguisher's hose in the air and yelled "CHARGE!"
The manic pair ran straight at the flaming beast, which skidded to a halt, staring in the utter most horror at the contraptions in the girls' hands. It turned and attempted to flee, but the Super Troopers were on it in a second, spraying their chemical foam all over the Balrog, putting out its bodily flames.
"Take that, fascist demon!"
The Balrog covered its privates, no longer wearing its flaming frock, and blushed pink. Sammi wiggled her pinkie finger at it, crudely mocking its embarrassing situation, and Alysha frolicked about, doing the happy dance again.
"Off you go then, buh-bye, tata, bon voyage!" Sammi waved innocently at the Balrog, as it slinked away, though Alysha, showing no shame or modesty, waved but a singular finger in a rather crude fashion. She giggled wackily.
Apparently the Fellowship was getting used to their companion's atrocious antics and bizarre behaviour. They merely shrugged, and the hobbits thanked the Super Troopers for getting rid of the big, bad Balrog.
So on they journeyed, and upon arriving at the Bridge of Khazad-Dûm, the super Troopers made a shocking realization. Gandalf was still alive, and the Balrog was no longer around to get him to fall into the crevasse. The whole story would be ruined and their chances of getting to Lórien were screwed.
"You think you can handle a diversion? I'll take care of the rest," Sammi said quietly to Alysha. Alysha grinned evilly, and nodded. Samantha frowned. "A diversion that doesn't involve running around naked, my eyes have seen enough horror in the past few days thank you very much, Alysha."
Alysha pouted, and turned to the rest of the Fellowship. Same trick she played on the orcs. "Look! A diversion so Samantha can shove Gandalf into the big gorge without you seeing!"
The Fellowship looked.
Samantha shoved.
Gandalf fell.
Everyone gasped.
"Oh, nooooo! Poor Gandy fell off the bridge! Dearie me. What ever will we do?" Sammi said with no emotion in her voice.
"Everyone look sad like you'll miss him," Alysha quipped, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
The hobbits were in tears, Aragorn's mouth was hanging open in shock, Legolas and Gimli were nowhere to be seen, and Boromir had picked up Frodo, who was attempting to fling himself into the black hole after Gandalf, as if he had a chance to save the old geezer.
"Okie doke, enough mourning, let's go! Lórien, here we come!" Alysha and Sammi happily began to skip towards the green exit sign hanging on the wall.
***
Outside Moria, the Fellowship broke down and allowed themselves to grieve Gandalf's 'tragic demise' by collapsing onto the ground crying their eyes out. Only Aragorn and the Super Troopers seemed to be temporarily unfazed by the old fellow's departure.
Well, Aragorn had to keep professional, for he was now the leader of the Fellowship of the Ring, and the Super Troopers knew Gandy'd be back eventually.
"Legolas get them up," Aragorn said softly to the elf. Legolas looked at him strangely, almost as if he didn't understand the command.
"Give them a moment for pity's sake!" Boromir scolded Aragorn, motioning towards Pippin who was curled up in a ball with his head on Merry's lap, crying like a baby.
"By nightfall these hills will be swarming with orcs," Aragorn reasoned. "We must reach the woods of Lorthlórien." And he proceeded to pull Samwise to his feet.
Sammi helped Merry up, giving him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. Alysha 'accidently' tripped over Aragorn's pack, spilling its contents everywhere. Sammi smirked. There was a caring side to Alysha, and she obviously didn't appreciate that Aragorn had been so heartless about losing Gandalf, even if it was partly her fault. Occasionally, Alysha let other people see that deep down she did have a heart. Samantha's thoughts were interrupted by the thud of Alysha 'clumsily knocking Strider in the head with a fire- extinguisher.'
Maybe deep down. REALLY deep down. Like as deep as her magical bottomless backpack, maybe??
So on they journeyed, spending most of the time jogging (or in Alysha's case, riding her trail bike) towards the Golden Wood. Legolas practically danced with joy to be in the trees again, especially such as the ones growing in Lórien.
Alysha got off her trail bike and by some unknown miracle, shoved it back into her backpack and continued to walk like a civilized person.
"Stay close, young hobbits," Gimli said, motioning for Frodo and Merry to step closer. "They say a great sorceress lives in these woods. An elf-witch of terrible power."
Galadriel's voice floated on the air: "You're coming to us."
Gimli continued; "All who see her, fall under her spell."
Galadriel's ghostly voice was at their ears again; "These are the footsteps of doom. You bring great evil here, Ring-Bearer."
"Can it, Gladdie, it's not like the poor hobbit had a choice in the matter," Samantha said irritably.
".And are never seen again." Gimli finally finished. "Well, here's one dwarf she won't ensnare so easily. I have the eyes of a hawk, and ears of a fox!"
"HI, HALDIR!" Alysha said loudly, ruining his surprise entrance. The blonde elf pouted and knocked an arrow anyway, pointing it into her face. Alysha fought back a grin, and lost her control at the sound of Legolas readying his own arrow next to her in their defence. She collapsed onto the ground in a fit off giggles, shortly followed by Samantha, and the hobbits. Gimli, Boromir and Aragorn were still standing, snickering as they attempted to hold guard, and even the Elves were struggling to keep straight faces.
Alysha had always had the talent to make people laugh, no matter how depressing or infuriating a situation may be. She only had to think something amusing, and Samantha would break up.
"Well, aside from the yelling mortal," Haldir started as he eyed Alysha, "the dwarf breathes so loud we could have shot him in the dark."
"Well, that's not nice, Hally!" Gawd, Sammi had already given him a nickname. Heaven help him. Well he was kind of cute.
Aragorn straightened up, and asked Haldir for the protection of the Lady of the Wood.
"The Lady never mentioned a mixed up fellowship of anything needing protection, but she did mention that there would be two mortal little girls. (Alysha and Samantha tag-team death glare) ladies," Haldir corrected himself, "would need her counsel."
"Goodo, off we go then! Gladdie, here we come!"
***
"When will they end?!" Sammi wailed, climbing the seemingly endless flight of stairs up the side of a tree, into the tree top city of Lórien. Alysha beside her shrugged, and continued to count.
"1538.1539.1540."
They were barely half way!
Upon reaching the top of the tree, Lady Galadriel and Celeborn came down the stair, glowing in their funny elven light. Galadriel spoke to each of the members of the Fellowship in turn, talking both out loud, and in everyone's head.
When her greetings had finished, the Super Troopers wasted no time, in gushing about how beautiful her hair was, and begged her to tell them what shampoo she used, while at the same time, suggesting that she drop the lace flowing thing, and go for a garment that required a little less maintenance.
"I thank you pair for your compliments and I suggest that you go with the Fellowship and rest. Tomorrow, you will come to my talan, and we shall have our own little Council about how to get the pair of you home, is that a deal?"
The Super Troopers nodded, and bounded down the 3584 steps to where the Fellowship was camped at the bottom, near a little fountain.
Alysha pulled a boom box from her magical bottomless backpack, and began to play her version of relaxation music: a mixture of motorcycle engines, horse whinnies, rain and someone laughing. Although loud and unconventional, the 'music' had the desired affect, and the whole Fellowship was asleep within minutes.
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*
Short 'n' sweet, hope you liked it! Next up, a decision on the Super Trooper's fate, and dun dun duuuuuun, that Final Battle Scene! OoOoOoOoooh. See you all soon.
Peace, out Nimloth and Andúnië