Chapter Two:
Harry had an interesting summer at Lupe's house. Well, "interesting" seemed like an understatement. It was mayhem. Lupes still acted like a hippy, Sirius was as holy as ever, Ron still was out of it, and Hermione never went anywhere without a Furby. It was a relief that he would finally be going to school that day, away from it all.
The only thing that delayed them was Sirius.
"It's Sunday, time to go to church!," He said cheerfully that morning.
"But-- Sirius, I have to catch the Hogwarts Express at 11 o'clock! We'll never make it!"
"We ARE going to church today! We'd be breaking one of the ten commandments if we didn't! Come on! What's more important, school, or God?" Sirius said, very firmly.
He took Harry and Hermione by the arms, and Lupes an Ron followed. They climbed on top of his motorbike, which he had enlarged so it would fit them all, and they set off to church.
A chorus sang from the middle of the sanctuary, and Sirius breathed in the air deeply. Harry sat with his arms folded, his eyes rolled up to the ceiling as though fascinated by it, as the ceremony droned on. It was only when he happened to glance at his watch when he panicked.
"Sirius! It's fifteen past eleven! The train left!"
"Oh well, we'll ride there. And don't interupt the song of God! This is very important!" Sirius said, sounding mortally offended.
Harry slumped back into his pew impatiently, and waited for the service to end.
Finally, when the ceremony seemed as though it would never end, it did. They were about to leave when--
"Oh no! I've lost Cuddles! I have to find him, help me!," Hermione said shrilly.
Harry sighed with exasperation, then stooped down to help Hermione search under the pews for her Furby.
"There's no time, Herms. The kiddies have to go to school, now! C'mon," Lupes said, looking extremely out of place in his rainbow robes, as he took Harry and Hermione's arms and dragged them out.
"Noo!" Hermione wailed," I HAVE to find Cuddles! OFF OF ME!" And with great effort, she broke free.
She rummaged on the floor, searching frantically. Just then, a cold voice drawled behind her.
"Looking for something, dearest child? Searching for an object, never found, and to no avail? For, behold, I am of joy! I have found my soul-mate, this dearest warm friend, a Furby!" said Draco Malfoy, holding Cuddles tightly under his arm.
"GIVE ME CUDDLES, NOOOOOOOOOOW, YOU BASTARD!!!" Hermione said, drawing her wand and summoning Cuddles securely into her waiting hands.
She ran away, holding the Furby as though like a young child.
"No, dear girl! It is my discovery! I found the creature on the floor, abandoned, forgotten, and waiting for me to take it in my waiting arms! It is fate! Give it here!" Draco insisted.
Hermione ignored the boy in despair, and turned on her heel to join Harry, Ron, Lupes and Sirius on the motorbike. Sirius reluctantly kicked off from the ground, muttering ," Lord, I will come and visit you in your house next week. Good-bye, for now."
They stopped off at Lupes's house and collected their things for school, then quickly set off for Hogwarts. They sailed high in the sky on the motorbike, unseen in the misty clouds. Harry was reminded strongly of the incident where he and Ron had rode to school on Ron's Ford Anglia. Just then, Hermione let out a scream that pierced through the silent sky like a gunshot.
"What is it, Hermione?" Harry asked anxiously.
"I've left Cutie at Lupes's house! We have to turn around and get him, NOW!"
"But, Hermione, we're already late, we have to get to school-" Harry was suddenly silent. Hermione was pointing her wand at his face, looking very dangerous indeed.
"We will turn around, now, or Harry gets it," Hermione said in a dangerously quiet voice that they had never heard before.
"No, do not show violence in the presence of our Lord! Very well, we shall turn back and get your Furby, but do hurry up!" Sirius said anxiously.
Lupes turned the bike around, muttering ," The chick's gone nuts.."
Harry remained utterly still, trembling. Hermione still had her wand set on his face, looking determined and dangerous.
Once the party had finally returned to the sky (Sirius had left behind his favorite WWJD necklace) it was already turning dark.
"Where we going?" Ron asked vaguely, peering through the clouds over the roar of the engine.
"To Hogwarts, duh. And I think all of my Furbies'll like it there! I want to make them their own little room," Hermione said brightly. She seemed perfectly cheerful whenever she had her Furbies, but lethal without them.
Harry shook his head, and wondered how his perfect (or almost) world could go so wrong. He would even go back to the Dursleys if everyone would behave properly, and that was saying something. Finally, the motorbike arrived smoothly on the grass, and Sirius turned into a big white bird for his disguise.
"Sirius, I thought you were a dog!" Harry said.
"Well, I got tired of having a dog for my disguise. Birds rock! Especially doves, as they are a sign of peace from the Lord."
Harry thought very dark thoughts, which the author will not include in this story.
Lupes took the three up to the castle, where Mcgonagall was waiting.
Professor Mcgonagall was wearing rainbow robes, too, along with a peace necklace, sunglasses, and leather shoes.
"Oh no," Harry groaned.
"Wow, foxy chick! Want to go out with me, babe?" Lupes said admiringly as his eyes fell upon her.
"Sure, cat! Ya'll are excused fer bein' late an' all...I can see why you were delayed," Professor Mcgonagall said mischieviously, her eyes on Lupes.
Harry, Hermione, and Ron walked away nervously from the scene and through the doors.
It was as thought an explosion had taken place in the Great Hall. Harry pushed open the wooden doors, and the sight that he saw made him blink and open his eyes again.
For, as far as Harry could see, everyone was standing on their tables, screaming at the stage in front of them.
"Smashmouth! N*sync! Britney! WHOOOOOO!!" were some of the words that he heard. Harry examined the platform closer, and saw that several musical groups were standing, waving cheerfully at the school.
"What's happened to Dumbledore? The school is in ruins! Cuddles, Cutie, Furball, Fluffy, Minty, Sapphy, Spikers, Blinky, and Speedy won't like this at all!!" Hermione wailed, clutching several Furbies close to her chest.
"Wow! I didn't know Hogwarts was this cool!" Ron said admiringly as he looked the room up and down.
Harry took a seat at the Gryffindor table, which was labeled Gwiffendoor, next to Ron and Hermione. They were one of few people who were sitting down at all.
"Dude, man, I'm so think I can't drunk straight!" said a first year boy who Harry didn't know.
Just then, they saw Dumbledore for the first time. Harry did a double-take.
For Dumbledore, not dressed in his usual robes,but was dressed in black leather pants, boots, and a shirt.
"I am the One! Harry, look out for the agents! They are fast, strong, and show no mercy! Do you have your gun?" Dumbledore said, drawing out his own.
"Err--no," Harry said nervously.
No, not Dumbledore, too..., he thought.
Just then, Professor Mcgonagall walked up to the front of the school, hand-in-hand with Lupes.
"I have the *hic* great pleasure of *hic* telling you about *hic* the updated quidditch teams *hic* this year. For Slytherin, *hic* The captain will be Ricky *hic* Martin, the seeker will be *hic* Will Smith, the beaters will be *hic* Jennifer Lopez and *hic* Nelly, and the chasers will be *hic* 98 Degrees. For Hufflepuff,*hic* there will be Vitamin C as *hic* seeker, Aaron Carter as Keeper,*hic* Eminem and Britney Spears as beaters...." she went on and on, naming American singers and pop stars. Finally she ended with a " Thank you *hic*, all!" and sat down.
Harry glared at her. He was kicked off the Quidditch team! And all for a bunch of bands! It was crazy!
Harry went off to bed, feeling very depressed indeed. Just then, Hermione came skidding down the corridor, smiling broadly.
"Dumbledore said I could get a room all to my Furbies! They'll love it!"
Harry shook his head, plopped down in front of a chair in front of the Gryffindor fire, and sunk his face into his hands. About 5 minutes later, he turned and headed upstairs. When he arrived in his room, he blinked and re-focused his eyes. The beds were stripped bare, along with the curtain hangings, down to the mattress.
"What happened!?" He asked Ron, who was standing right next to him, looking just as bewildered, and then he suddenly frowned.
"Percy doesn't like his friend anymore. That's not nice."
"Wha--oh, right." Harry said, remembering. He sank into his bare bed, shivering. He fell into an uneasy, cold sleep, still in his robes.
Harry woke to an angry buzz that night, not long after he had fallen asleep.
"What's happened to the sheets! They're all gone!"
"No idea.."
Harry sat up, fumbled for his glasses, and stood up, yawning. Dean Thomas and Neville were talking in the corner of the room. Neville was wearing long, extravagant robes of silk, and he was grinning.
"Oh, Hi, Harry! My Grandma won the lottery! We're rich! Whoo!"
"Wow, that's good for you, Neville!"
Harry said, thinking about seeing Hermione to see if she knew anything about the bedsheets.
He turned around, and pushed open the doors, searching for the girls' dormitory. A sign caught his eye, and he paced up the staircase, searching for Hermione's door. He found it, and pulled it open.
"Hermione!" Harry gasped.
Hermione was crouched over her bed, which was hidden under a mountain of bedsheets, pillows, hangings, and blankets.
"Here you go, Cuddles," Hermione said, pulling a blanket up to the stuffed animal's chin, lying its head tenderly on a pillow.
"Hermione, those are OUR blankets, not the Furbys'!Give them back, we're all cold!"
"No, the Furbys need them more than you do. I will sleep on the floor, whatever it takes, as long as the FUrbys are safe and warm." Hermione said lovingly, stroking a purple one's head.
"Hermione, they're stuffed animals, for crying out loud! We are living, breathing people!"
"WHAT!!!??" Hermione cried in outrage. "They're not things! They're not stuffed animals! They're poor little creatures who need our help! I have never been more insulted in my life! And you probably hurt the Furbys' feelings too, didn't you?" Hermione said, stooping down so that her head was right next to a Furby's.
Before Hermione could make another move, Harry dashed over to the bed, pulled off all the blankets, and ran away as fast as he could. The Furbies all fell to the floor with a clatter (sixty seven of them) and Hermione wailed.
"NNOOOO!!! GIVE THE FURBIES THEIR BLANKETS!! THEY'LL FREEZE TO DEATH!!" Hermione chased after Harry. Harry ran around the dormitories, distrubuting the missing sheets and blankets. Once everyone had them, Harry settled down in bed once again, Hermione screaming and wailing outside his door.
Harry had an interesting summer at Lupe's house. Well, "interesting" seemed like an understatement. It was mayhem. Lupes still acted like a hippy, Sirius was as holy as ever, Ron still was out of it, and Hermione never went anywhere without a Furby. It was a relief that he would finally be going to school that day, away from it all.
The only thing that delayed them was Sirius.
"It's Sunday, time to go to church!," He said cheerfully that morning.
"But-- Sirius, I have to catch the Hogwarts Express at 11 o'clock! We'll never make it!"
"We ARE going to church today! We'd be breaking one of the ten commandments if we didn't! Come on! What's more important, school, or God?" Sirius said, very firmly.
He took Harry and Hermione by the arms, and Lupes an Ron followed. They climbed on top of his motorbike, which he had enlarged so it would fit them all, and they set off to church.
A chorus sang from the middle of the sanctuary, and Sirius breathed in the air deeply. Harry sat with his arms folded, his eyes rolled up to the ceiling as though fascinated by it, as the ceremony droned on. It was only when he happened to glance at his watch when he panicked.
"Sirius! It's fifteen past eleven! The train left!"
"Oh well, we'll ride there. And don't interupt the song of God! This is very important!" Sirius said, sounding mortally offended.
Harry slumped back into his pew impatiently, and waited for the service to end.
Finally, when the ceremony seemed as though it would never end, it did. They were about to leave when--
"Oh no! I've lost Cuddles! I have to find him, help me!," Hermione said shrilly.
Harry sighed with exasperation, then stooped down to help Hermione search under the pews for her Furby.
"There's no time, Herms. The kiddies have to go to school, now! C'mon," Lupes said, looking extremely out of place in his rainbow robes, as he took Harry and Hermione's arms and dragged them out.
"Noo!" Hermione wailed," I HAVE to find Cuddles! OFF OF ME!" And with great effort, she broke free.
She rummaged on the floor, searching frantically. Just then, a cold voice drawled behind her.
"Looking for something, dearest child? Searching for an object, never found, and to no avail? For, behold, I am of joy! I have found my soul-mate, this dearest warm friend, a Furby!" said Draco Malfoy, holding Cuddles tightly under his arm.
"GIVE ME CUDDLES, NOOOOOOOOOOW, YOU BASTARD!!!" Hermione said, drawing her wand and summoning Cuddles securely into her waiting hands.
She ran away, holding the Furby as though like a young child.
"No, dear girl! It is my discovery! I found the creature on the floor, abandoned, forgotten, and waiting for me to take it in my waiting arms! It is fate! Give it here!" Draco insisted.
Hermione ignored the boy in despair, and turned on her heel to join Harry, Ron, Lupes and Sirius on the motorbike. Sirius reluctantly kicked off from the ground, muttering ," Lord, I will come and visit you in your house next week. Good-bye, for now."
They stopped off at Lupes's house and collected their things for school, then quickly set off for Hogwarts. They sailed high in the sky on the motorbike, unseen in the misty clouds. Harry was reminded strongly of the incident where he and Ron had rode to school on Ron's Ford Anglia. Just then, Hermione let out a scream that pierced through the silent sky like a gunshot.
"What is it, Hermione?" Harry asked anxiously.
"I've left Cutie at Lupes's house! We have to turn around and get him, NOW!"
"But, Hermione, we're already late, we have to get to school-" Harry was suddenly silent. Hermione was pointing her wand at his face, looking very dangerous indeed.
"We will turn around, now, or Harry gets it," Hermione said in a dangerously quiet voice that they had never heard before.
"No, do not show violence in the presence of our Lord! Very well, we shall turn back and get your Furby, but do hurry up!" Sirius said anxiously.
Lupes turned the bike around, muttering ," The chick's gone nuts.."
Harry remained utterly still, trembling. Hermione still had her wand set on his face, looking determined and dangerous.
Once the party had finally returned to the sky (Sirius had left behind his favorite WWJD necklace) it was already turning dark.
"Where we going?" Ron asked vaguely, peering through the clouds over the roar of the engine.
"To Hogwarts, duh. And I think all of my Furbies'll like it there! I want to make them their own little room," Hermione said brightly. She seemed perfectly cheerful whenever she had her Furbies, but lethal without them.
Harry shook his head, and wondered how his perfect (or almost) world could go so wrong. He would even go back to the Dursleys if everyone would behave properly, and that was saying something. Finally, the motorbike arrived smoothly on the grass, and Sirius turned into a big white bird for his disguise.
"Sirius, I thought you were a dog!" Harry said.
"Well, I got tired of having a dog for my disguise. Birds rock! Especially doves, as they are a sign of peace from the Lord."
Harry thought very dark thoughts, which the author will not include in this story.
Lupes took the three up to the castle, where Mcgonagall was waiting.
Professor Mcgonagall was wearing rainbow robes, too, along with a peace necklace, sunglasses, and leather shoes.
"Oh no," Harry groaned.
"Wow, foxy chick! Want to go out with me, babe?" Lupes said admiringly as his eyes fell upon her.
"Sure, cat! Ya'll are excused fer bein' late an' all...I can see why you were delayed," Professor Mcgonagall said mischieviously, her eyes on Lupes.
Harry, Hermione, and Ron walked away nervously from the scene and through the doors.
It was as thought an explosion had taken place in the Great Hall. Harry pushed open the wooden doors, and the sight that he saw made him blink and open his eyes again.
For, as far as Harry could see, everyone was standing on their tables, screaming at the stage in front of them.
"Smashmouth! N*sync! Britney! WHOOOOOO!!" were some of the words that he heard. Harry examined the platform closer, and saw that several musical groups were standing, waving cheerfully at the school.
"What's happened to Dumbledore? The school is in ruins! Cuddles, Cutie, Furball, Fluffy, Minty, Sapphy, Spikers, Blinky, and Speedy won't like this at all!!" Hermione wailed, clutching several Furbies close to her chest.
"Wow! I didn't know Hogwarts was this cool!" Ron said admiringly as he looked the room up and down.
Harry took a seat at the Gryffindor table, which was labeled Gwiffendoor, next to Ron and Hermione. They were one of few people who were sitting down at all.
"Dude, man, I'm so think I can't drunk straight!" said a first year boy who Harry didn't know.
Just then, they saw Dumbledore for the first time. Harry did a double-take.
For Dumbledore, not dressed in his usual robes,but was dressed in black leather pants, boots, and a shirt.
"I am the One! Harry, look out for the agents! They are fast, strong, and show no mercy! Do you have your gun?" Dumbledore said, drawing out his own.
"Err--no," Harry said nervously.
No, not Dumbledore, too..., he thought.
Just then, Professor Mcgonagall walked up to the front of the school, hand-in-hand with Lupes.
"I have the *hic* great pleasure of *hic* telling you about *hic* the updated quidditch teams *hic* this year. For Slytherin, *hic* The captain will be Ricky *hic* Martin, the seeker will be *hic* Will Smith, the beaters will be *hic* Jennifer Lopez and *hic* Nelly, and the chasers will be *hic* 98 Degrees. For Hufflepuff,*hic* there will be Vitamin C as *hic* seeker, Aaron Carter as Keeper,*hic* Eminem and Britney Spears as beaters...." she went on and on, naming American singers and pop stars. Finally she ended with a " Thank you *hic*, all!" and sat down.
Harry glared at her. He was kicked off the Quidditch team! And all for a bunch of bands! It was crazy!
Harry went off to bed, feeling very depressed indeed. Just then, Hermione came skidding down the corridor, smiling broadly.
"Dumbledore said I could get a room all to my Furbies! They'll love it!"
Harry shook his head, plopped down in front of a chair in front of the Gryffindor fire, and sunk his face into his hands. About 5 minutes later, he turned and headed upstairs. When he arrived in his room, he blinked and re-focused his eyes. The beds were stripped bare, along with the curtain hangings, down to the mattress.
"What happened!?" He asked Ron, who was standing right next to him, looking just as bewildered, and then he suddenly frowned.
"Percy doesn't like his friend anymore. That's not nice."
"Wha--oh, right." Harry said, remembering. He sank into his bare bed, shivering. He fell into an uneasy, cold sleep, still in his robes.
Harry woke to an angry buzz that night, not long after he had fallen asleep.
"What's happened to the sheets! They're all gone!"
"No idea.."
Harry sat up, fumbled for his glasses, and stood up, yawning. Dean Thomas and Neville were talking in the corner of the room. Neville was wearing long, extravagant robes of silk, and he was grinning.
"Oh, Hi, Harry! My Grandma won the lottery! We're rich! Whoo!"
"Wow, that's good for you, Neville!"
Harry said, thinking about seeing Hermione to see if she knew anything about the bedsheets.
He turned around, and pushed open the doors, searching for the girls' dormitory. A sign caught his eye, and he paced up the staircase, searching for Hermione's door. He found it, and pulled it open.
"Hermione!" Harry gasped.
Hermione was crouched over her bed, which was hidden under a mountain of bedsheets, pillows, hangings, and blankets.
"Here you go, Cuddles," Hermione said, pulling a blanket up to the stuffed animal's chin, lying its head tenderly on a pillow.
"Hermione, those are OUR blankets, not the Furbys'!Give them back, we're all cold!"
"No, the Furbys need them more than you do. I will sleep on the floor, whatever it takes, as long as the FUrbys are safe and warm." Hermione said lovingly, stroking a purple one's head.
"Hermione, they're stuffed animals, for crying out loud! We are living, breathing people!"
"WHAT!!!??" Hermione cried in outrage. "They're not things! They're not stuffed animals! They're poor little creatures who need our help! I have never been more insulted in my life! And you probably hurt the Furbys' feelings too, didn't you?" Hermione said, stooping down so that her head was right next to a Furby's.
Before Hermione could make another move, Harry dashed over to the bed, pulled off all the blankets, and ran away as fast as he could. The Furbies all fell to the floor with a clatter (sixty seven of them) and Hermione wailed.
"NNOOOO!!! GIVE THE FURBIES THEIR BLANKETS!! THEY'LL FREEZE TO DEATH!!" Hermione chased after Harry. Harry ran around the dormitories, distrubuting the missing sheets and blankets. Once everyone had them, Harry settled down in bed once again, Hermione screaming and wailing outside his door.