Chapter 3:
The next day was a Quidditch match: Gryffindor and Slytherin. Harry woke up, got dressed, and open the door. Fast asleep, leaning against his door, holding as many Furbies as she could, the rest piled around her, was Hermione.
Harry shook his head, stepped over her, and headed down to the great hall for breakfast, which was buzzing.
"I bet Enya'll make a great seeker today!"
"Nah, Smashmouth is bigger, and they're more able to throw her off-"
"What are you talking about? Britney's the best!"
"Ewww, Britney Spears?" (gagging noises).
Harry sat down to start on his scrambled eggs. He glanced at the message board, and saw a note:
One day upon a disasterous night, my furby friend did flight. I searched for him near and far, even in my fatehr's car! I've met a fallen angel in the sky, the furby did make my heart go fly. So if you see him, let me know, or forever more my heart will throw.
Harry snorted. Draco Malfoy, he thought.
Harry and Ron headed up to the stands to watch the Quidditch match (Hermione was still fast asleep). Soon, students were filing in, and the seats were full. Just before Lee Jordan was about to announce the teams, there was a loud screeching sound on the ground. Everyone looked down. Hermione, looking very happy and determined, was dragging behind her a wagon, full of---furbies.
Noo Harry groaned. Smiling broadly, Hermione took a seat next to them, whistling cheerfully.
Then, Lee Jordan finally announced the teams. Fourteen broomsticks, mounting fourteen musical artists, wobbled into the air.
As the Smashmouth players whizzed by Harry's chair he heard:
"Hey now, you're an all star, get your game on, get paid! All that glimmers is gold....."
"Hey, what was my position again? Can't remember for the life of me what I was supposed to do.."
It was a Quidditch match as Harry had never seen it played before. The singers wouldn't shut up, and they seemed to be arguing over who liked them the best.
Just then, Will Smith, the Slythterin Seeker, gasped.
"Nod your head! The Men In Black.......have seen the stitch!"
"It's the snitch, Will, not the Stitch!"
"Whatever! What am I supposed to do with it again?"
"Catch it!"
"Oh--right!"
Will dived at the same time as the Smashmouth seeker did. They were close on eachother's tail, when--
The Smashmouth player toppled off his broom. He was an unexperienced flyer. With triumph, Will reached for the stitch, or snitch, and grasped the struggling ball in the palm of his hand.
Loud cheers erupted from the Slytherin side of the field.
"Nooo," Harry groaned again.
"Slytherin has won! The students have all sung! Will Smith rocks, he kicked the box, gooooo Slytherin!" Malfoy said brightly, pulling out a notebook and pencil to write this new poem down.
"How could they let this happen?" Harry groaned to Ron. Ron smiled blankly at him and said,"An apple a day keeps the doctor away," matter-of-factly.
"Okaay." Harry said, feeling depressed more than ever.
"We have potions today..grr," Harry said, glancing down at his schedule, and rising with the rest of the audience to get to their classes.
I'd even be happy if SNAPE was normal!, Harry thought to himself. He was proven wrong right after he pushed open the dungeon door.
Chapter 3:
As Harry pushed open the doors of Snape's dungeon, the sight he saw made him gasp. Snape was sitting at the head of the class--wearing a green, moth-eaten dress, complete with a stuffed-vulture top hat. And as he glanced around his room, Harry saw posters. They read things like "More Rights for Women!" and "Martha Stewart Forever!".
Hermione, with Cuddles under her arm,burst out laughing.
"50 points for Griffindor!," Snape cried across the room," I've never heard such a cute, feminine laugh in all of my life!"
"Err--okay," Harry said, confused. He believed that nothing could surprise him now.
Just then, there was a loud roaring outside. The door burst open, and Colin Creevey, mounted atop a black motorcycle. He was wearing a tight black leather shirt and pants. That wasn't all: he had a fang earing dangling from one ear, and a skull tattoo on his shoulder, open to the world to see because his shirt was sleeveless. He was followed by his younger brother, Dennis, Fred and George Weasley, Dean Thomas, and Seamus Finnigan. Each of them had a girl in their backseats: Cho Chang, Alicia Keys (oops, I meant Spinnet, sorry!), Angelina Johnson, Ginny Weasley, Parvati Patil, and Lavender Brown. They rode in, and did a pop-wheelie onto the desks, splattering potions all over.
"Hey, how's my Motorcycle Mama?," Colin asked Cho Chang over the roar of the engine.
Just then, before she could answer, Snape strode across the room, and smashed a potion bottle over his head, causing it to spill and soak his hair. It turned a violent shade of neon green.
"You NEVER use politically incorrect terms in my classroom!" Snape snarled.
Colin shrugged, and then glanced at a reflection of himself in a potion bottle.
"Dude, I love it! Thanks, man!" Colin said gratefully.
The rest of Snape's class was much the same. Finally, when it was over, Harry set off to Hagrid's to get some relief from the crazy world. Unfortunately, he found another big surprise.
Harry knocked on the door, and waited, his eyes closed tight. Please, not Hagrid, not him too, he prayed. Hagrid pushed open the doors, and to Harry's great relief, he looked quite normal (for Hagrid, that was). Then, as soon as Harry was inside, Hagrid sat down at his table, not saying a word.
He pulled a laptop off of the table, and balanced it on one knee, since it was too small to fit on both. He resumed his internet browsing, and left Harry standing there, waiting silently.
"Oh! Yer here!I have a laptop,and it is soo ruddy great! Want ter see?" Hagrid said, pushing it aside so Harry could see. And, to his VERY great surprise, he discovered that Hagrid was browsing through Fanfiction.net! Then, something made his insides turn. He was, in fact, reading this very story that the author was writing right now!
The next day was a Quidditch match: Gryffindor and Slytherin. Harry woke up, got dressed, and open the door. Fast asleep, leaning against his door, holding as many Furbies as she could, the rest piled around her, was Hermione.
Harry shook his head, stepped over her, and headed down to the great hall for breakfast, which was buzzing.
"I bet Enya'll make a great seeker today!"
"Nah, Smashmouth is bigger, and they're more able to throw her off-"
"What are you talking about? Britney's the best!"
"Ewww, Britney Spears?" (gagging noises).
Harry sat down to start on his scrambled eggs. He glanced at the message board, and saw a note:
One day upon a disasterous night, my furby friend did flight. I searched for him near and far, even in my fatehr's car! I've met a fallen angel in the sky, the furby did make my heart go fly. So if you see him, let me know, or forever more my heart will throw.
Harry snorted. Draco Malfoy, he thought.
Harry and Ron headed up to the stands to watch the Quidditch match (Hermione was still fast asleep). Soon, students were filing in, and the seats were full. Just before Lee Jordan was about to announce the teams, there was a loud screeching sound on the ground. Everyone looked down. Hermione, looking very happy and determined, was dragging behind her a wagon, full of---furbies.
Noo Harry groaned. Smiling broadly, Hermione took a seat next to them, whistling cheerfully.
Then, Lee Jordan finally announced the teams. Fourteen broomsticks, mounting fourteen musical artists, wobbled into the air.
As the Smashmouth players whizzed by Harry's chair he heard:
"Hey now, you're an all star, get your game on, get paid! All that glimmers is gold....."
"Hey, what was my position again? Can't remember for the life of me what I was supposed to do.."
It was a Quidditch match as Harry had never seen it played before. The singers wouldn't shut up, and they seemed to be arguing over who liked them the best.
Just then, Will Smith, the Slythterin Seeker, gasped.
"Nod your head! The Men In Black.......have seen the stitch!"
"It's the snitch, Will, not the Stitch!"
"Whatever! What am I supposed to do with it again?"
"Catch it!"
"Oh--right!"
Will dived at the same time as the Smashmouth seeker did. They were close on eachother's tail, when--
The Smashmouth player toppled off his broom. He was an unexperienced flyer. With triumph, Will reached for the stitch, or snitch, and grasped the struggling ball in the palm of his hand.
Loud cheers erupted from the Slytherin side of the field.
"Nooo," Harry groaned again.
"Slytherin has won! The students have all sung! Will Smith rocks, he kicked the box, gooooo Slytherin!" Malfoy said brightly, pulling out a notebook and pencil to write this new poem down.
"How could they let this happen?" Harry groaned to Ron. Ron smiled blankly at him and said,"An apple a day keeps the doctor away," matter-of-factly.
"Okaay." Harry said, feeling depressed more than ever.
"We have potions today..grr," Harry said, glancing down at his schedule, and rising with the rest of the audience to get to their classes.
I'd even be happy if SNAPE was normal!, Harry thought to himself. He was proven wrong right after he pushed open the dungeon door.
Chapter 3:
As Harry pushed open the doors of Snape's dungeon, the sight he saw made him gasp. Snape was sitting at the head of the class--wearing a green, moth-eaten dress, complete with a stuffed-vulture top hat. And as he glanced around his room, Harry saw posters. They read things like "More Rights for Women!" and "Martha Stewart Forever!".
Hermione, with Cuddles under her arm,burst out laughing.
"50 points for Griffindor!," Snape cried across the room," I've never heard such a cute, feminine laugh in all of my life!"
"Err--okay," Harry said, confused. He believed that nothing could surprise him now.
Just then, there was a loud roaring outside. The door burst open, and Colin Creevey, mounted atop a black motorcycle. He was wearing a tight black leather shirt and pants. That wasn't all: he had a fang earing dangling from one ear, and a skull tattoo on his shoulder, open to the world to see because his shirt was sleeveless. He was followed by his younger brother, Dennis, Fred and George Weasley, Dean Thomas, and Seamus Finnigan. Each of them had a girl in their backseats: Cho Chang, Alicia Keys (oops, I meant Spinnet, sorry!), Angelina Johnson, Ginny Weasley, Parvati Patil, and Lavender Brown. They rode in, and did a pop-wheelie onto the desks, splattering potions all over.
"Hey, how's my Motorcycle Mama?," Colin asked Cho Chang over the roar of the engine.
Just then, before she could answer, Snape strode across the room, and smashed a potion bottle over his head, causing it to spill and soak his hair. It turned a violent shade of neon green.
"You NEVER use politically incorrect terms in my classroom!" Snape snarled.
Colin shrugged, and then glanced at a reflection of himself in a potion bottle.
"Dude, I love it! Thanks, man!" Colin said gratefully.
The rest of Snape's class was much the same. Finally, when it was over, Harry set off to Hagrid's to get some relief from the crazy world. Unfortunately, he found another big surprise.
Harry knocked on the door, and waited, his eyes closed tight. Please, not Hagrid, not him too, he prayed. Hagrid pushed open the doors, and to Harry's great relief, he looked quite normal (for Hagrid, that was). Then, as soon as Harry was inside, Hagrid sat down at his table, not saying a word.
He pulled a laptop off of the table, and balanced it on one knee, since it was too small to fit on both. He resumed his internet browsing, and left Harry standing there, waiting silently.
"Oh! Yer here!I have a laptop,and it is soo ruddy great! Want ter see?" Hagrid said, pushing it aside so Harry could see. And, to his VERY great surprise, he discovered that Hagrid was browsing through Fanfiction.net! Then, something made his insides turn. He was, in fact, reading this very story that the author was writing right now!