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The Hobbits Go to Charm School
By:Resisting Arrest
Chapter 3
disclaimer: I do not own J.R.R. Tolkien's characters,settings,names,etc and no infringement is intended.
credits:Thanks to God and thanks to the reviewers!
a/n:This does not tie in with the Fellowship House.It takes place before The War of the Ring,before they leave the Shire.
-----
"I can't believe they fell for it,Gandalf!" exclaimed Pippin,heaving Frodo's heavy suitcase into the back of the wagon.
Gandalf didn't reply.He was watching the hobbits file out of the house.
"Bilbo,don't you think those pants are rather...large?" asked Gandalf,staring at the offending trousers.
"What?We're going to a food fair!I have to have room for the food!" replied Bilbo,indignant. "And besides,when you get to be my age,elastic is your friend!"
Pippin grimaced.He tried not to imagine what his body would look like at Bilbo's age.The hobbits climbed into the wagon and they started off.Pippin thanked his lucky stars that they weren't in an inclosed area.The other hobbits were smelling a bit ripe.The sunlight beaming down on them was not helping.
Around midday,when Pippin felt he could no longer stand the smell,Gandalf stopped and they all ate lunch.
"Do you smell them,Gandalf?It's awful!" whispered Pippin to Gandalf. "At least you have your beard to filter it out a bit."
"No!The smell lingers in the beard!" said Gandalf miserably.
As they climbed back into the wagon,Pippin sidled over to Merry (trying to inhale as little as possible).
"Hi Merry." said Pippin,in a friendly voice.
"What do you want?" asked Merry irritably.
"I was wondering..when was the last time you took a bath?" asked Pippin,tentatively.
In response to this,Merry punched Pippin.Poor Pippin scooted away,feeling very depressed.
After another agonizing two hours,the hobbits and the wizard finally arrived at the Charm School.As they entered the gate,Frodo read the sign.
"Charm School?!" he cried,outraged.
-_-_-_-Inside the Charm School-_-_-_-
The hobbits finally entered the Charm School.Gandalf had finally managed to overcome Frodo and carry him inside.This was no easy feat,as Frodo now weighed as much as a small refrigerator.
Gandalf dumped the heavy Frodo on the ground unceremoniously.Frodo dusted himself off and looked around.
They were in a large house,decorated with dark colors.A spiral staircase led upstairs,and many pieces of ruffled ,poufy furniture decorated the front hall.Almost all of the wood in the house was cherry wood.Bilbo and Merry looked around,grunting disdainfully.
"Who decorated this place?Some stupid elf?" demanded Merry.
At that moment his question was answered.
Haldir of Lorien,Legolas,and Arwen came into the hall.
Pippin burst out laughing.They looked ridiculous.Haldir and Legolas were wearing ruffled white shirts,dress shoes,and black pants and jackets.Arwen wore a huge gown,with a large hoop skirt and layers of lace and pearls.
"This Hobbit is most rude!Is he one of the three who are staying?" asked Arwen briskly.
Haldir's nose twitched.He smelled something foul.He strode over to Merry. "Barbarian!Do you ever bathe?!"
Gandalf looked embarrassed.He was also fighting not to laugh.
"No,I didn't register Pippin." said Gandalf.
"Well,he must stay!His manners are terrible!"
~__~__~__~__~
Endnotes:More later! R/R Please!No flames!
The Hobbits Go to Charm School
By:Resisting Arrest
Chapter 3
disclaimer: I do not own J.R.R. Tolkien's characters,settings,names,etc and no infringement is intended.
credits:Thanks to God and thanks to the reviewers!
a/n:This does not tie in with the Fellowship House.It takes place before The War of the Ring,before they leave the Shire.
-----
"I can't believe they fell for it,Gandalf!" exclaimed Pippin,heaving Frodo's heavy suitcase into the back of the wagon.
Gandalf didn't reply.He was watching the hobbits file out of the house.
"Bilbo,don't you think those pants are rather...large?" asked Gandalf,staring at the offending trousers.
"What?We're going to a food fair!I have to have room for the food!" replied Bilbo,indignant. "And besides,when you get to be my age,elastic is your friend!"
Pippin grimaced.He tried not to imagine what his body would look like at Bilbo's age.The hobbits climbed into the wagon and they started off.Pippin thanked his lucky stars that they weren't in an inclosed area.The other hobbits were smelling a bit ripe.The sunlight beaming down on them was not helping.
Around midday,when Pippin felt he could no longer stand the smell,Gandalf stopped and they all ate lunch.
"Do you smell them,Gandalf?It's awful!" whispered Pippin to Gandalf. "At least you have your beard to filter it out a bit."
"No!The smell lingers in the beard!" said Gandalf miserably.
As they climbed back into the wagon,Pippin sidled over to Merry (trying to inhale as little as possible).
"Hi Merry." said Pippin,in a friendly voice.
"What do you want?" asked Merry irritably.
"I was wondering..when was the last time you took a bath?" asked Pippin,tentatively.
In response to this,Merry punched Pippin.Poor Pippin scooted away,feeling very depressed.
After another agonizing two hours,the hobbits and the wizard finally arrived at the Charm School.As they entered the gate,Frodo read the sign.
"Charm School?!" he cried,outraged.
-_-_-_-Inside the Charm School-_-_-_-
The hobbits finally entered the Charm School.Gandalf had finally managed to overcome Frodo and carry him inside.This was no easy feat,as Frodo now weighed as much as a small refrigerator.
Gandalf dumped the heavy Frodo on the ground unceremoniously.Frodo dusted himself off and looked around.
They were in a large house,decorated with dark colors.A spiral staircase led upstairs,and many pieces of ruffled ,poufy furniture decorated the front hall.Almost all of the wood in the house was cherry wood.Bilbo and Merry looked around,grunting disdainfully.
"Who decorated this place?Some stupid elf?" demanded Merry.
At that moment his question was answered.
Haldir of Lorien,Legolas,and Arwen came into the hall.
Pippin burst out laughing.They looked ridiculous.Haldir and Legolas were wearing ruffled white shirts,dress shoes,and black pants and jackets.Arwen wore a huge gown,with a large hoop skirt and layers of lace and pearls.
"This Hobbit is most rude!Is he one of the three who are staying?" asked Arwen briskly.
Haldir's nose twitched.He smelled something foul.He strode over to Merry. "Barbarian!Do you ever bathe?!"
Gandalf looked embarrassed.He was also fighting not to laugh.
"No,I didn't register Pippin." said Gandalf.
"Well,he must stay!His manners are terrible!"
~__~__~__~__~
Endnotes:More later! R/R Please!No flames!