Interfering Interlopers

A Song of Ice and Fire, and all associated media, are the property of George R. R. Martin.

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Ginny wasn't kidding when she called Mulberry an old mare. She did her best, poor thing, but was winded after only ten miles of admittedly hard riding.

Thankfully, they found a stream for her to drink from. It gave Lyanna a chance to stretch her legs too. And properly plan their route.

Overhead, a crow cawed as it landed on a tree far to the right.

Randy was seated on a rock he willed to existence; a map laid out next to him. It was a fairly detailed map of Westeros—if she didn't know any better, she'd ask if he stole it from a Maester.

"Okay, we're about here," Randy said as Lyanna drew closer, pressing his index finger into a spot between the Isle of Faces and the Kingsroad. "Can't push Mulberry too hard, so we'll have to make camp a few times before hitting the Kingsroad." He moved his finger to where Rivverrun lay on the map. "But what really matters is your brother. When he left Riverrun and how far along the River Road, if not the Kingsroad, he is? If he's even on them at all."

"You said he'd travelling with others?" Lyanna hadn't asked how he knew that; it could come later. The crow caw once more, and started flapping its wings and hopping in place.

"At least five men," Randy replied.

"He'll keep to the roads." If it were the North, Brandon would no doubt cut through whatever plains and forests he needed to get to his destination as soon as possible. But for all her brother's raging Wolfsblood, he wasn't a fool. And he wouldn't risk traversing barely known lands to save extra time.

"Then it'll take near a fortnight to get to Kingslanding if he pushes it—and he will." He frowned at Lyanna. "How long ago did you leave Riverrun?"

"It's been eight days," she said guiltily. The crow's caws were growing incessant—if she didn't know any better, she'd think it was l aughing at her.

Randy nodded. "Okay, with any luck he's somewhere around Darry. Once we hit the Kingsroad, we either stay put, head north to try and cut him off, or go south, and stop somewhere just before Kingslanding. And then—I'm sorry, one second." Randy turned towards the crow. His jaw snapped open, and his tongue shot out like a frog's. The bird let out an ugly squawk when he wrapped his tongue around it, and it disappeared with a crunch into Randy's mouth.

He chewed thoroughly before swallowing, and spat out a feather. "Bleh. Again, sorry, but that was getting annoying."

Lyanna arched a brow. "You could have just shooed the crow away."

No, I really couldn't. With any luck, he got the message."

"I'm certain digestion is something few can misinterpret."

"One can dream." He chuckled. "Or greendream."

"…Right." Lyanna stepped away from Randy. Gods, she'd traded one madman for another. At least this one was nice.

"In any case," Randy gestured to Mulberry, who was still panting, though not as heavily. "We need to wait for her to rest up a little."

Lyanna nodded, but shifted her gaze to Randy. "…Could you not just carry me?" When he turned to face her, she shrugged. "You're fast enough to keep pace with a horse—old as Mulberry is. Certainly, you're strong enough to carry someone while you run."

Randy hummed. "I could…but there's one big problem with that idea." He poked her on the nose. "You're too fragile."

"You presume much!" Lyanna snarled. "You may have found me in a…terrible situation, but I assure you I am no deli—" Randy cut her off by tearing his head off his body.

Lyanna stared in utter silence as he tossed his still blinking up-and-down like a ball. He bounced it off his elbow, and it landed backwards on his body, his flesh bubbling as it reconnected his head to his neck.

"Oh, wait a minute," Randy said, and again, tore his head off his body, and set it on right. He smiled at her. "There we go."

Lyanna was proud of herself for not screaming at what she just witnessed. Or fainting. Or both.

"Now, you see," Randy spoke calmly, as if he hadn't just done the impossible once again. "If I take a tumble while running as fast as I'm comfortable with, I'll be right as rain after some reassembly. But you?" he gestured to Lyanna. "You'll be crippled at best. I'm not taking that risk." He huffed. "Hulk leaps present a similar issue," he said, whatever the hell a 'hulk leap' was. "Can't ignore physics like the angry green giant, the impact on landing could seriously fuck you up. If only I knew how to fly…"

"I'm fine with waiting!" Lyanna said with a squeak.

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Lyanna and Randy didn't speak much while they travelled, too focused on finding and stopping Brandon from doing something noble, but stupid. They only rested when they needed, same with eating and drinking. Well, Lyanna and Mulberry did.

Randy didn't eat anything. Probably filled himself on that wooden cart, Lyanna mused. But he did drink water, once. A lot of water. He'd waded into the middle of a stream, extended his jaw a snake, and lie down in the water, water flowing down his gullet.

Where he put it all, Lyanna didn't know. She didn't want to know.

He didn't sleep either. Or at least, she assumed he didn't. The two brief night's they'd slept, he took watch. Never even gave her the option of taking a shift. And she doubted he was the sort to sleep while on watch. In truth, it was the least insane thing about him.

On their third day, they had to fully stop and let Mulberry rest. Lyanna also needed the break, but while she was riding, she could focus solely on riding. Not on the fact that Brandon was on his way to Kings Landing to try and save her life. A life that didn't need to be saved—that shouldn't have had to be saved in the first place.

No, she couldn't focus on that. She'd go mad. Instead, she focused on the madman brushing her horse.

They'd camped that night in a forest, by a creek. Randy offered to give Mulberry her first cleaning in days, by virtue of the fact that he could literally make brushes and soap out of thin air.

Lyanna rose to her feet with a light groan, and walked over to them. She pat Mulberry's flank, smiling when the horse whickered. "How is she doing?"

"Mulberry's fine. Says hello." The horse neighed. "She also says you're too skinny. Need some meat on your bones. Gain some muscle." Lyanna blinked, and looked over Mulberry to arch a brow at Randy. He met her gaze with an apathetic shrug. "Her words, not mine."

"You speak horse, now?"

"Well, it's not strictly a language as we humans would understand it." Randy frowned. "And I am by no means proficient."

"Oh, the shame."

Randy chuckled, a bright smile overtaking his features.

Lyanna laughed quietly along with him, before asking one of the many, many questions on her mind. "How…did you know about Brandon?"

Randy froze. He blinked, and worked his jaw.

Lyanna grunted. "If you saw those three damned words, I will shove you into that creek."

Randy let loose a loud, startled laugh. "No, not that!" He stared brushing Mulberry again. "It's just…I…had a greendream. When you said your brother's name."

"A greendream?" Lyanna arched a brow. "While awake?"

"What, never heard of a daydream?"

"That's not how greendreams work!"

"Oh, so you know their exact function?"

"Well, no," she admitted.

"There you go!" He nodded with an air of finality. As if that would win their argument.

Lyanna scowled. "Look, I don't know how you do any of those strange things you do—hey, hey!" She held up a hand when Randy opened his mouth. "The creek is right behind you." He snapped it shut. "Thank you. Now, I don't know how you do all those impossible things, but I know something about greendreams, and they do not work like that!"

"What can I say? I'm just built different. One second." He lifted his head up, and shot his tongue out to eat a crow flying overhead. He chewed on the bird thoughtfully. After he swallowed, he said, "After the first twenty, you'd think he'd let up."

"Don't think you can distract me with your disturbing eating habits!" Randy grinned cheekily at her.

Lyanna prepared to say more, but froze as Mulberry shifted under her. The horse nickered, and her ears darted back and forth. "Randy…"

"I know," he said, voice dropping to a whisper. He swallowed his brush whole. "Doubt it's fuck-face and his retinue." He sniffed the air. "…Whoever they are, they smell like smoke." He asked her, "What are you more comfortable with, a sword, or a dagger?"

"Sword," Lyanna readily replied. She didn't have much in the way of formal lessons—just what little scraps Brandon and Ned could teach her in their spare time. But it was enough.

Randy nodded, and flicked his wrist upwards. A sword shot out from his arm into the air. He caught it, and handed it to Lyanna. It was perfectly balanced, but she couldn't help but frown upon seeing it was plain-old steel.

Randy snorted. "What, were you expecting adamantium?"

"I would have liked to brandish the metal that so thoroughly embarrassed Arthur Dayne, yes."

"Maybe later," was all he said. "For now, you get on Mulberry, and quietly follow the river downstream."

Lyanna scowled. "I am not lea—"

Randy cut her off with a bored glare. "Lyanna, I can freeze people with a few words and summon lightning at will. I will be fine." Dammit if he wasn't right. "Come on, I'll help you up."

"I can get by on my own," Lyanna barked without any real bite. She didn't like riding without a saddle, but she could if she needed to. She swung herself onto Mulberry, who huffed under the weight. "And you want me to get heavier?" Lyanna wasn't sure why she asked that—she was pretty sure Randy was just fucking with her when he said he spoke horse. But there was an almost amused light in Mulberry's eyes.

Randy reached up and pat her sword arm. "Don't worry. I'll be fine, and so will you."

"I've no doubt." Logically, there was no need to worry. But she still did. She leaned over and squeezed his hand with her free one. They smiled at one another, before Lyanna leaned low against Mulberry, and urged her forward.

Only for a wall of flames to spring up before them, blocking their path. Lyanna shrieked at both it and the way Mulberry reared back in fright, forcing her off. Thankfully, Randy caught her in his arms, cursing as Mulberry shot off in another direction.

"Of all the things," he said as he let Lyanna down, standing protectively in front of her. "Alright you crimson fuckers!" He said into the darkness of the forest. "Show yourselves!"

Nothing happened for a long moment. But then, as if they were birthed from shadows, men and women garbed in red clothing or armor appeared. On its own, the garb wouldn't have meant much, but with the sudden fire appearing before them, Lyanna knew in her heart that these were Priests and Priestesses of the Essosi Red God.

And they all glared as Randy as if he'd pissed on their god to put him out.

"Interloper!" one of the men—the one in charge, most like. "You seek to alter a tale long foretold! We shall stop you!"

Randy spared a glance to Lyanna. When he looked back to the leader in red, "Little late for that."

The leader huffed. "There is time still to correct your subversions! You will hand the girl over to us. She has a destiny to fulfill."

"The girl refuses!" Lyanna snarled. "I'll go nowhere with the likes of you!"

The leader looked at her with pity, of all things. "Please child, do not listen to whatever this vile creature has told you. There is still time to do what needs to be done."

A pit formed in Lyanna's stomach. Gods, these people…they were of the same stock as Rhaegar. They wanted him to get her with child!

"Yeah, fuck that," Randy said for both of them. He shot his arms out towards the leader a and shouted, "Crackle!"

The leader's face scrunched in confusion. Seconds before it twisted into a wordless cry as giant spikes of ice shot up from the ground and speared him through.

The other priests and priestesses fell back in alarm, though one did slice a dagger across his palm, and slammed his bloody hand against the ground, the shadows around him slinking towards him like snakes.

Randy shoved Lyanna without looking back. "Move!" he cried, as he leapt into the air, narrowly avoiding a dozen shadowy spikes spearing up from the grass. He reared his head back, cheeks puffed up. He clenched his hands into fists, and held them in front of his mouth.

He shouted in some strange language—"Suiuryū no…Hōkō!"—and an enormous, spiraling wave of water shot out from his mouth. The priest attacking him and another priestess were caught up in the wave.

When Randy's attack ended, all that was left was their feet, laying before a row of destroyed trees.

Everyone—even Lyanna—stared in horror at the destruction Randy wrought. At least until dropped in front of one of the remaining priestesses and literally punched her head off.

Randy looked down at his fist after that. "Woo! Don't know if that was better or worse than punching a hole through her head." He sank into the earth as their remaining enemies surrounding him, fire blasting from their bloodied palms.

Coming to the reasonable conclusion that Randy had the situation well in hand, she decided to track down Mulberry.

Only to hold her sword up at a priest and priestess came into view. The priest wielded a blade, but had an almost gentle expression on face. The priestess was unarmed, but wore a sneer as cold as a winter storm.

"Easy, easy," the priest said. "I know your scared, but trust us. We shall return you to where you belong."

"Fuck you!" Lyanna shouted. "You're not dragging back to that bastard!"

The priest's eyes widened in alarm, while the priestess merely narrowed her eyes. The latter said, "You've no choice, child. The Lord of Light has willed it. Through you, a song of Fire and Ice shall be born."

Lyanna growled—fuck-face had called their 'union' that as well. "Go to hell!" She lunged at the priestess. She didn't move an inch, the priest coming to her defense, easily batting Lyanna's attack aside.

Her arms were ringing, but she maintained a solid grip in her sword and struck again, directly at the priest this time. Her swings were wild, fueled by rage of the present and terror for the future. But the priest was skilled in swordplay, and parried or dodged her blows with little effort. He never struck back though, content to almost lazily weather her blows.

But Lyanna refused to let him win. Refused to let anyone ever hold power over her again.

And yet, power held a different meaning when you could just spill some blood and cast magic.

Lyanna pushed back the priest, but was left panting on shaky legs as the priestess shot out a stream of fire at her. Time slowed to a crawl. Her life flashed before her eyes, tears welling up in her eyes. Gods, she hadn't really done much, had she? Just…lived in Winterfell. Complained about her lot in life. The two times in her life she did something of her own accord—jousting as the Knight of the Laughing Tree and fleeing Riverrun with Rhaegar—had ended in utter disaster.

Was that all she had amounted to, she asked herself, tears flowing down her face.

"Lyanna!"

One moment, Lyanna was staring face first into her doom. The next, she was shoved into the dirt, an earth splitting screech winding its way into her ears. She shot up, and let out a wordless cry as Randy writhed with the flames.

Idly, she heard the priest and priestess shout at each other. But her focus on was the roaring fire before her, the heat on her skin, the acrid smell of burning flesh assaulting her nostrils. Randy had stopped moving, lying in the middle of the flames. The flames meant for her…He'd died for her.

Lyanna let loose a long, ugly sob. No, not this. She didn't want this!

"Stem your tears, girl," the cold voice of the priestess sent shivers down Lyanna's spine. "You've a savior to birth."

Lyanna scrambled backwards, and held her sword, arms trembling, up to her neck. "D-Don't come any closer!"

The priest's face was like stone, revealing nothing. The priestess eyed Lyanna critically, before her lips split into a snide smirk. "I can see it in your eyes, girl. You don't have to conviction to take your own life."

Lyanna tried to meet her gaze with defiance, only to avert her eyes, arms and sword falling limply to her sides.

The priestess smirked. "There we go. Now, come with us. I promise the Lord of Li—gah!" Lyanna flinched back when blood splattered across her face. She looked back up to see the Priest standing in front of her, bloodied sword held in a low stance as the priestess glared at him, pressing her hand against a cut on her side.

"Thoros!" the woman spat. "What are you doing?!"

The now-named priest hummed. He did something with the hilt of his sword, and the blade itself burst into flames. "I would think it's rather obvious."

"You are a servant of the Red God!" the priestess shrieked. "You would defy his will?!"

"I am indeed a servant of the Red God," Thoros said, the shadows of his blade dancing across his stony face. He gestured for Lyanna to rise—which she did on shaky legs—and slowly the two backed away from the woman and…and Randy. "I am not, however, a tool of Red Men."

"A tool of—you decry the Flames as false?"

"I have not yet earned the gift of sight through the Flames," Thoros replied. "But I can see all the same. And what I see, I shall have no part of." Lyanna felt her the darkness in her soul lighten just a bit. At least she had someone else at her side, doomed though they both may be.

"You damned drunkard! You were never a true believer to begin with! Always doubting the coming of the Azor Ahai!"

"The coming of the Azor Ahai is always nigh," Thoros said dismissively. "First it was when Valyria fell, then when Aegon conquered Westeros and after that I don't even want to begin counting how many of his descendants have been purported to be it. I know there's a few among us that believe it to be referring to someone from either the Stepstones or the Iron Islands, the exact location changing every week." He shrugged. "Why should I force a dreadful sacrifice onto this girl based on the latest bit conjecture?"

"To give your life for the Lord of Light is the greatest honor available for anyone!" The priestess sneered at Lyanna. "Much less a heathen slip of a girl."

"An unwilling sacrifice is a tainted, evil thing."

The priestess snarled, and drew had hand away from the wound on her side. She clenched her bloody fist, her hair rising around her head as the temperature around them rose. "I've had enough of this! The girl will be coming with me! I will see to it that our Lord's will is fulfi—aaAAAAHHH!" The priestess screamed as she was pulled onto the ground.

Lyanna darted her head to the ground, unable to hold back a horrified gasp as Randy—still wreathed in fire—crawled atop the screaming woman. He clasped a flaming hand around her mouth, and pressed downward with all his might. There was a horrible, wet squelch as he easily crushed her head into flaming jelly.

All at once, the flames surrounding Randy died, leaving a charred, heaving husk. He shoved himself off the corpse, and stared up at the sky with lidless, melted eyes.

She tried to hold it in, she really did, but Lyanna voided her stomach at the sight of him.

"Damn," Thoros said. "If only I'd come to my senses sooner!" He marched towards Randy, a solemn frown on his face. "I am sorry. The least I can do is put you out of your misery, strange and noble magician."

But before Thoros could position his sword over Randy's heart, the burned man held open his jaw, a gout of fire shooting out from it. "Touch…me…you…die…" Randy rasped. He raised his arm. "Hurts…Never…Hurt…Before…" His pained voice took on a tone of derision. "Fuck…Magic…" He turned his eyeless gaze towards them. "Can…heal…self…"

Lyanna shot up to her feet. "How?!

Randy grit his teeth. His breathing was getting more and more laborious "…Consume…organic… material."

"What do you mean?"

"Plants…" Randy turned towards the corpse. "…Meat…"

"O-Oh." Lyanna felt like throwing up again. "Y-You mean…You a-are—"

"You're a cannibal?" Thoros finished for her. He wasn't any bit horrified or accusatory. But then, as a Red Priest, he'd no doubt been party to his fair share of heinous acts. He almost was, moments ago.

Randy's burnt lips spread into a bitter smile. "…Only…cannibal if…same…kind…" His smile ran away from his face, and his voice grew so small. "…Please…help…"

Lyanna turned away from Randy. He was strange, of course, but this…this was different. Killing these men and women was one thing—they wanted to harm them, so it was only fair to harm them in turn. But to desecrate their bodies with cannibalism—whatever was left of them in the wake of Randy's bizarre magics? That was…was…

She was torn from her thoughts by the clanking of armor and something dragging through the grass. She turned to see Thoros dragging a corpse over to Randy. At her flummoxed expression, he shrugged. "Ive already betrayed them, that would mark me as a damned man in any number of religions. Plus, it's not like something else won't eat them anyway." At her incredulous stare, his apathetic demeanor faded into a nervous one. "Look, he made giant icicles form out of the ground with a word, shot a giant wave of water that utterly destroyed two people and all the trees behind them from his mouth, crushed Kinvara's head with one hand while on fire, and I don't even want to know what else." He shuddered. "So, yes, I'm going to help him."

Lyanna shook her head forcefully, hugging herself as she turned away. What to do? Cannibals…in the North, she'd heard stories of men and women that turned to it in desperation. In the middle of winter, people would do anything to survive. But this…This wasn't a desperate parent wanting to feed their child. Or a starving man coming upon a frozen corpse.

A squawk ahead of her caught her attention. Its source was a crow, preening itself on a bush.

"And what do you think I should do, hm?" she asked the bird.

"I think you should help him," it answered in a creaky, ancient voice. "You're already neck-deep in this shit, after all."

Lyanna stared at the bird, which returned to its preening. She let loose a loud, strangled laugh. "Oh, I've gone mad!"

"Um…I heard it too," Thoros said, stepping up beside her. "At least…I think?"

"No, you heard me—koff!" The crow coughed violently. "Kah…sorry. Never spoken through an animal before. Didn't really think it was possible, but then I saw your friend over do things I've never seen before, so I figured, hey"—the bird shrugged, shrugged!—"why not?"

"Who…that…?" Randy rasped from behind them.

Lyanna kept staring at the talking bird. Thoros answered, "It's a, uh, crow that speaks like a man."

Randy wheezed out a harsh cackle. "…Bloodraven…Is that…you…?"

The crow—Bloodraven, whatever that meant—flew over to Randy, and landed on his chest. "Indeed, it is. Would have preferred if I didn't experience the instinctual terror of being eaten alive more than twenty times, but here we are." It peered down at Randy. "You know of me, and yet, I have never, ever, so much as heard of you." The bird sniffed. "Are you the reason the Citadel, and most of the Reach, is blind to me?"

Randy wheezed. "No…Someone else…I think…Never…Met."

"Oh, fuck me." The bird hung its head. "There's more of you?"

Randy smirked. "At least…One more…" He took a deep, painful breath. "Please…Move…"

"Ah, yes." Bloodraven hopped off Randy, settling onto the ground. "Can't imagine that was pleasant."

"Thoros…Lyanna…All…Bodies…?"

Lyanna found it in herself to look at their surroundings. Aside from the man held up by giant icicles, all the bodies were in piles on either side of him. Thoros worked fast. "Y-Yes." She winced at her stutter. "That's everyone."

"Good…Good…First…' Randy raised his left arm. He hissed something in a language she didn't understand, and moved his arm in a wide, jerky circle. The air around them—perhaps thirty yards away from Randy at the center—shimmered. "There…safe…And now…To recover…"

Thoros cleared his throat. "Yes…How do we do this?"

"If we prop open his jaw, we can just shove everything down his gullet," Lyanna replied. If she was going to take part in this madness, might as well go all in.

Randy laughed. "No…Need…" He moved one hand onto either pile, and took a deep breath. His charred flesh expanded as if it were molten metal, melting onto the bodies and covering them in a sheet of burnt flesh.

Bloodraven hummed. "Rather like a fungus."

"Yes…And now…I rest…" Randy steadied his breathing, eyeless gaze staring up into the sky. Lyanna assumed he'd fallen asleep—or perhaps finally passed out from the pain.

"Well, that's done." Bloodraven looked over at Lyanna and Thoros. "Might as well make camp you two. I imagine we shall be here for a while."

The pair nodded numbly, and Lyanna led Thoros to where she and Randy had set up her tent. Thank the gods Randy hadn't had a chance to eat it yet.

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A/N: Randy's kinda gross, now that I think about it.