A/N: Another new Chapter.. Sorry for the wait guys :P Real life got in the way, and it's been rather messy, plus I actually finished this story 3 days ago but the site's been on the blink :P Any who.. 50 reviews.. WOOT! I feel so loved =^_^=

Thanks to:  Shian (I am on the Faith and Anger list already, I just don't post much to the list cuz school and real life, which sucks a lot right now :/ , gets in the way. All I have to say is the list is directly responsible for the tail scene. Anyways I'm planning on posting this to the list when I have it all done and finished :D ), Reikon, Kasdan, angelfish, Your Worshipfulness (yup, it is :D That's why it's subcategory is angst :D I like to make my characters suffer a bit, it's the sadist in me :D ), LotR-FaNAtiC, The Creegganator (is that a good M or a bad M?), Mrs. Emery Waterman, BrokenPromises, Sprinkles, Spak-chan, iAmDuckie131, Kethlyn, little L aka : Little Logan, J.A.K (Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it. :D I am making a conscious effort to write longer chapters from now on, it's just that the story comes to me in bursts and my Muse is insane, sadistic and slightly schizophrenic :D ) and roth1900. Thanks, yet again, to Kasdan my beta reader, who succeeds where my computer's spell and grammar check fails.

Okay, much angst in this chapter, plus there's an excerpt from a German drinking song near the end, and I'm not entirely sure what it translate into exactly, and both Google and Alta Vista butchered it beyond all comprehension. So if you can give me a correct translation please e-mail it to me.  =^_^=  Now.. On with the angsting- er story :)

What have I done, what have I done, mein Gott im Himmel, what have I done...

Tears of shame streamed down Kurt's face as he teleported into his room. How could he have done that to her? He had befouled her purity by his actions. He should have stayed at the church, he should have never left.

Kurt stood, trembling in panic for a moment, unsure of himself. He had to get out, had to leave this place. His eyes fell on a small, worn box that sat on his nightstand, and suddenly it all became clear. He knew what he had to do.


* * * * * * * * * * *


Ororo changed her clothes as quickly as she could and rushed over to Kurt's room. She knew he was upset, and she mentally cursed herself for taking advantage of him. Even though his body seemed ready and willing for what had just happened, he clearly wasn't mentally prepared for the act.

She reached his door, gathered her courage and knocked. There was no answer. She knocked again, but still no answer. She reached for the doorknob, but paused. Maybe she should leave him be, give him time to calm down. She leaned against the door, and let out a tired sigh.
"I'm so sorry, Kurt," she whispered softly, before heading back to her room.



* * * * * * * * * * *


It was around four o'clock in the morning when Logan quietly entered the mansion. He had spent the better part of the night dealing with his own personal demons, and preferred to do it in private. He stalked towards his room, his boots not making a sound as he padded down the dark hallways of the large house. He stopped suddenly as he entered his room, nostrils flaring as a familiar scent made itself known.  Logan stood puzzled. Why was this scent in his room? Using his heightened senses, He followed the scent and found that it led to his bed. His lip curled up in an angry snarl and his eyes narrowed.

No one could possibly be stupid enough to- Logan cut off the thought and dropped down on all fours to look under his bed. The scent got stronger. Logan took inventory and was relieved to find that his precious case of beer was still present and accounted for. He pushed the case aside and, to his outraged indignation, found that four bottles of Jack Daniels were noticeably missing. Logan stood, his face a mixture of anger and something else not easily identifiable.

"That blue bastard broke into my stash!"



* * * * * * * * * * *



It had been three days since Kurt had made his hasty departure from Ororo's room, and she was still kicking herself for not immediately checking on him. Maybe if she had talked to him, she could of convinced him it wasn't his fault, that he didn't have to run away. She had pleaded with Charles to contact him, make him come back, but the Professor just shook his head.

"Ororo, he's confused and scared right now. I don't want to force him into anything that he's not ready for." Charles sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"Can you tell me where he is?" she asked. "I just want to talk with him. Please."

"I think you already know where he is, Ororo." he replied softly.

Realization hit her like a brick wall. Of course she knew where he was! He would be in the same place he hid right after the assassination attempt on the president. He would be at the church...

So now Ororo found herself in a van driving towards the old church that Kurt used as his sanctuary. She had decided against using the Blackbird, mainly because she didn't want to send him running off again to Goddess knows where.

It was sometime after midnight when she finally pulled up in front of the church. It was raining hard, and Ororo couldn't help but think that the weather matched her turbulent thoughts at the moment. She lightly flexed her powers, making sure that none of the rain fell upon her as she made her way towards the church.

As she stepped into the chapel, a feeling of dread welled in the pit of her stomach. She looked around, hoping to catch a glimpse of gold in the shadows, but there was nothing. She made her way to the altar, which was lit up with guttering candles. On the floor was a small, worn, wooden box; a bottle of rubbing alcohol and some wadded up pieces of gauze, stained with some unknown reddish brown fluid.

Stop deluding yourself, she thought angrily, that's blood. She reached down and tentatively opened the box. Inside was a set of scalpels that would make a surgeon drool. Each one had an intricately carved ivory handle, the blades sparkled in the candlelight and the tips were razor sharp.

"Goddess, Kurt..." she whispered into the empty church. "What have you done?" She closed the box with trembling hands and suddenly something reached her ears. Soft strains of... singing? Ororo stood up, and followed the sound, making her way up the rickety steps that led to the bell tower. The singing got louder, but she couldn't understand the words. They sounded a bit slurred, and were definitely not in English. She recognized the voice as belonging to Kurt…

"Mich plagt ein Dämon, Durst genannt; doch um ihn zu verscheuchen…"

She reached the top of the tower and found an open door that lead out to the roof. The rain had died down a bit, but it was still pouring. The singing was definitely coming from outside.

"Nehm' ich mein Deckelglas zur Hand und laß mir Rheinwein reichen…"

She stepped out onto the roof, her eyes squinting in the dark. Her foot hit something hard, and her quick reflexes kept her from tripping. She looked down to see what she had nearly fallen over. It was an empty bottle of Jack Daniels.

"Die ganze Welt erscheint mir nun in rosenroter Schminke, ich könnte niemand Leides tun, ich trinke, trinke, trinke!"

Ororo nearly jumped out of her skin as she swung around. In the shadows he was virtually invisible. If it hadn't been for the empty bottles strewn about him and the faint glow of his golden eyes, she would have never found him.

He was sitting with his back resting against one of the many stone gargoyles that lined the rooftop. He was soaked to the bone, but didn't seem to notice the rain at all. A half empty bottle of Jack Daniels hung loosely from his fingers. He blinked at her, and shook his head, as if to convince himself he wasn't seeing an apparition, or hallucination. Ororo knelt down, but was hesitant to touch him. She didn't want to startle him. Kurt tilted his head and regarded her with wide eyes.

"Are you real?" he asked softly. His hand reached out to her face, but suddenly drew back, as if he was afraid to touch her.

"Yes, Kurt, I'm real..." she said softy, reaching out to touch him, but he flinched away. She sighed. Take it slow, girl, she thought to herself, Mustn't scare him off. "Kurt," she began, "I want to apologize-"
"Nien! Iz not your fault. I vaz veak," Kurt interrupted angrily, his inebriation causing his accent to grow thicker and his words to slur slightly. "I shouldn't of... Shouldn't..." He trailed off, his eyes glazing over slightly.

Ororo's eyes widened in alarm. "Kurt, are you okay?"

Suddenly his tail shot out, wrapping around her arm, pulling her close to him. His hand grabbed a fistful of her white hair, as he pressed his cheek against hers.
"Sie sind reine Versuchung..." he whispered huskily into her ear. "Ich möchte Sie berühren, schmecke Sie." Ororo froze against him, his words burning into her brain. Despite the cold rain that fell on them, his skin was blazing hot. Kurt took in several ragged breaths and wrenched himself away from her. "Nein, nein... I cannot..." he moaned softly.

She brushed her fingers against his forehead, and this time he only winced, but didn't move away.
"Kurt, you're sick," she said in soft soothing tones, "Lets get you out of the rain and back to the Institute-"

"No!" he hissed pulling away from her, but Ororo held his arms firmly. In his weakened state he didn't put up much of a fight. Kurt finally stopped struggling and sagged his shoulders. "I don't want to go back," he whispered softly. "Not yet." Then he looked up at her, tilting his head slightly and gave her a lopsided smile. "Anywayz, Herr Logan vill kill me if I go back now."



Translations (That Alta Vista and Google have most likely mangled beyond recognition):

Mein Gott im Himmel= My god in heaven.

Nien = No

Sie sind reine Versuchung = You are pure Temptation

Ich möchte Sie berühren, schmecke Sie. = I want to touch you, taste you.

Herr= Mr.