A/N: This chapter is inspired by Anna Kendrick's interview on Celebrity Spotlight | E! News.
I have edited this chapter like a hundred times, and I'm not sure about it. Let me know what you think after you read it. This used to be my favorite chapter until I wrote chapter 22. :)
CHAPTER 6
When Beca was a little girl, she dreamed of asking her father for ice cream. However, her father claimed they were out of her favorite flavor. Beca stopped at the ice cream display case, where she discovered that her favorite kind of frozen treat was, in fact, still sold, illuminating the truth behind her father's lie.
Feelings of tremendous anger pervaded her dream. Because she was so upset with him in that dream, she did not speak with him for days.
Mental and emotional experiences become more intense as you dream, giving them the impression of reality. Even after you've woken up.
Beca visited her dad and the step-monster this past weekend since she felt bad for being an ungrateful daughter.
"We're, um, cool now, right?" she'd said to her father during dinner as a means of apologizing in the presence of the step-monster. Her father, knowing her, had laughed, stood up, and walked towards Beca to kiss her forehead and give her a half-hug.
Then everything was okay.
Apologies should always be this easy, like with family. Apologies may come easily to others, but Beca finds them difficult to muster. The act of apologizing requires one to put their pride aside and expose their vulnerabilities to the other person. And it has to come from the bottom of their hearts, which Beca did. And saying sorry is the first thing that needs to be done to make up for that mistake and get things back to how they were.
Apologizing to one's own family might be easier because you know that, no matter what you did or how much you've hurt them, they still love you.
At least, that's how it is with Beca's father.
A major topic of conversation between them was her time at college. It had been brought up again by him that if she didn't enjoy college after the first year, he'd start looking for an apartment in L.A., where he has contacts to help her in the music industry as long as she puts in the effort to make friends and enjoy college as much as possible.
And Sheila had been extremely friendly to Beca, even accompanying her shopping on the weekend when they went out together. Beca had only accepted because she knew her father would be delighted knowing that "his girls" had bonded and got along well. And also, she'd left her iPhone and laptop at the dorm and didn't have anything better to do. Going with her father had been a spur of the moment, sort of.
Sheila, as her stepmother, had unquestionably never been Beca's worst enemy in any way, shape, or form. She had always tried to make things work between them and to become Beca's friend in some way, but those attempts had been made during that rebellious phase in which Beca had cut everyone else out of her life.
It was not just Sheila; it was also her dad. And the friends she used to have.
When her dad drove her back to the dorm, Beca went straight to her phone, turned it on, and realized how many messages flooded in. She read all the messages Jesse had sent her and those of Chloe and couldn't help but smile.
The worse thing about people wanting to befriend you against your will is that you start missing these people when they aren't around.
And yes, of course, although it's only been a few days since they last saw each other, Beca did want to see Chloe.
This vivacious woman with those dazzling sky-blue eyes is always grinning and smiling at Beca as if she actually enjoys Beca's company. So, she had texted Chloe when the latter suggested coming to Beca's dorm to hang out.
And it had been a relatively "interesting" meet-up with Chloe that time around, Beca reflects.
The following day, Beca is lying in bed, trying to remember her dream of... Chloe Beale. Which sure wasn't anything sexual, just a glimpse of them being together, as close friends, maybe, Beca assumes.
Because in that dream, Beca was tentatively brushing the back of her fingers against Chloe's throat. There were no personal boundaries between them, as if they had been friends for years. In the dream, Chloe seemed to be in a state of despair, sitting in what seemed like a bedroom. And Beca was trying to comfort her in every way she could.
"It will eventually get worse," Chloe sobbed into a tissue, "and I can't sing without it hurting."
"Maybe you can try to shut up more," Beca said in tease as she leaned forward, bumping Chloe with her shoulder. "What if you just get them removed?"
"Then I won't be able to speak for several days."
"Aww, and that's a bad thing?" Beca grinned, eliciting a laugh from Chloe.
Beca can't help but wonder what that dream had been about, but the memory is there in the pockets of her unconsciousness. And why did she feel this closeness towards Chloe, even though they hadn't known each other for that long? Barely a little over a month.
Their closeness. The ease between them. As if everything seems natural. Chloe Beale entered her life, touched Beca, and broke a considerable portion of that barrier between them.
That dream then transformed into another sequence where she danced with Chloe on a stage, performed together in front of thousands of people, and wore matching outfits with other unknown women. Their voices harmonizing and accentuating each other.
And then another shift towards, maybe, a later sequel where Beca was kissing Chloe's throat gently.
Okay, so that preceding part did have a sexual undertone, which is most likely why Beca had jolted awake when she dreamed about it and couldn't continue sleeping. Within the context of that specific dream sequence, she had been coaxing the redhead a string of heavy groans while calling Beca's name repeatedly as Beca rocked against her. With her fingers between the other woman's thighs.
Oh my God.
What she felt for Chloe in that dream... The feeling is still there. Still intense. And persisting.
It's possible that the only thing her subconscious had been doing was processing what had happened between them the previous night:
Their kiss, which came out of nowhere and was totally "accidental," happened after Chloe had asked Beca to whisper into her friend's ear.
Until now, Beca gets a fluttering sensation in her stomach when she imagines Chloe lying below her, her cheeks flushed crimson, and her eyes pressed shut—squirming against Beca.
Beca rolls out of bed to take a shower; a cold shower, that is. After she brushes her teeth, gets dressed, and sits at her desk, she picks up her phone from under her pillow and reads the notification of a new message.
And it's Chloe.
'Good morning, we're on our way now. Can't wait to see you again. ;)' (10:12 a.m.)
Sometimes, Beca finds herself pondering why Chloe's "teasing" seems more than just amicable and why they seem similar to Jesse's. After all, Chloe is in a relationship, so why would she make a pass at Beca when she already has a boyfriend? Even if Chloe only wants to be friends with her and likes Beca on a platonic level, why did they kiss in such a manner? Her teasing and bantering remarks aside, this question remains unanswered.
Beca has a quick flashback of the sensation of Chloe's hot tongue brushing against hers, rhythmically stroking her tongue, and groaning into Beca's mouth.
She feels her head heat up again as she stares at the sender's name. The urge to take another cold shower enters her mind.
If she sincerely wants to remain friends with Chloe and if this friendship has any chance of growing in some way, then she needs to learn how to reign in her feelings. She is stressing to herself again that she has no desire to engage in romantic relationships while she is spending her first academic year at college. And, no, she does not want to get involved in a romantic relationship with a friend that she has grown to care about.
She needs some distance.
Since Chloe will be gone for at least two days, Beca should use this opportunity to assess her feelings. Moreover, it would be helpful if she could forget about their kiss.
But things aren't this easy.
She likes Chloe. As a friend. And Beca will not be like the dudes from her past who developed feelings for her and whom she had to reject, thereby ruining their friendship in the process. She doesn't want Chloe to reject her because, as it turned out, Beca was the weird one in that she'd had sexually confusing feelings for her friend. And once that happened, their friendship could never be the same again.
Chloe would be her karma.
Beca is reminding herself that Chloe has a boyfriend. And there's no denying that he's a good-looking dude. They look happy together. At least, judging by their photo together.
Beca texts Jesse instead to distract herself.
'Hey, freak, you got any plans for today?'
Beca puts her phone down and opens her mixing program. She notices that her PC has saved Chloe's phone name, as Beca had transferred her mashup playlist via Bluetooth on the redhead's iPhone.
Since she was a young teen, Beca has been making music and has never been one to keep her creations to herself. Instead, she has always been open about sharing them with others. The first person to hear the music she'd made on her own was her mother. They had different musical tastes, but her mother enjoyed listening to Beca's work. Following that was a group of her relatives, most of whom were her cousins. They had all urged her to continue pursuing this new pastime, which she had been excited about. After getting approval from her loved ones, she finally gave some of her schoolmates a chance to hear her music.
Before Beca made a profile on a platform where she could submit her beats and read other people's feedback on them, she had no way of knowing what people thought of them. The comments ranged from constructive criticism in the beginning to stunned admiration later on. Then she began experimenting with tweaking existing songs, quickly learning what her audience enjoyed hearing most from the new versions she created.
There was nothing more satisfying than watching people's awestruck expressions whenever she played her music for them.
Just like how she loves watching Chloe's reaction to her music and her singing.
In the corner of Beca's eye, she catches one of Kimmy's textbooks lying on her desk. At this she recalls having, at one point, that conversation with her roommate and her Korean friends. That it's possible for other universes to coexist, with each including a version of you who made a different choice and, as a result, leading a very different life than you.
How terrifying it is to believe in something like that, to think there's a Beca-version who is utterly different from what and who she is. She'd been thinking about this before. Because what if the Beca iteration who existed in that parallel universe had the guts to act on her feelings for Chloe Beale, and they went on to have a romantic relationship?
Beca looks at the time on her phone. It's almost past eleven in the morning, and she hasn't even exited her room yet—her stomach growls. She still has time to herself before Kimmy returns the next afternoon, so she should try to make the most of it. Improve her current remixes and come up with some new ones.
She lives a humdrum existence, but she's made it abundantly clear that this is what she prefers.
On her desk, her phone vibrates and blinks. A new notification shows up. Expecting it to be Jesse.
'Do you want to talk later tonight? I can call you if that's okay with you. Xoxo'
Beca is momentarily confused and reads the sender's name. She puts her phone back, face down. She'd eventually reply later when she was done with her work. She needs some emotional distance.
Another buzz. Beca, feeling distracted, rechecks her phone. It's Jesse this time.
'BECAAAW! Hw's my guuurl best friend? Sure, I'd like 2 go on a date w you agn.'
'Psycho, no! Just hang out. Grab breakfast together?'
'Ya, sure. ;D'
*,*,*
They meet at the Barden Café on campus.
"Becs!" When Jesse sees her, he picks her up and swirls her around.
Despite Beca's aversion to being touched, she can't help but laugh. And it's different with Jesse. He's the only person with whom Beca has felt an instantaneous bond—aside from Chloe.
"Dude, stop doing that all the time." Beca swats his arm when he sets her down. She can't be angry with him. Not really. Jesse is, after all, her favorite nerd—after Chloe.
"So, how you been?" Jesse opens the door to the café. They find a seat and sit across from each other.
When they place their orders, they talk about various topics related to recent events. In the same manner that Chloe frequently discusses the Bellas, Jesse never fails to bring up the Trebles. However, in contrast to Chloe, Jesse is as arrogant as the king of spades. He discusses their performances and how amazing his first riff-off was. Chloe once mentioned the riff-off to Beca, and now Jesse explains to her what it is and how it works.
Jesse brings up the upcoming regionals, where they will be competing against the Bellas and the fact that this is a big deal for everyone. When he asks her whom she would root for, Beca is stumped and can't give him a straight answer.
"You're both equally lame," Beca says casually after a thoughtful moment, "I'd cheer for neither."
"You're such a good friend, Becs." Jesse smiles cheekily at her and nicks a bacon slice from her plate.
"NO!? What the fuck?" Beca whines dramatically as if Jesse has stabbed her with a knife in her heart, "that was my last bacon, you jerk."
Jesse doesn't care and laughs.
After that, he invites her to watch a movie together. One that she would come around to enjoy, "The Breakfast Club."When Beca said she didn't enjoy movies, he didn't realize she meant it seriously. But since she has nothing else planned for today, she decides to accept the offer to watch one together even if she is not in the mood to do so.
They decided that going to Beca's dormitory would be best because her roommate won't return until the following morning. And Benji would return to their dorm at some point, where he would want to work on his magic tricks.
During their first few chit-chats at the radio station, Jesse told Beca that Benji is a "magician" and that he "didn't make it as a Treble." Jesse never understood why Benji "didn't make it as a Treble" because Benji is such a talented singer. This still bothers Jesse, even though Beca already knows the whole story.
"There are some things that simply aren't meant to be," Beca ponders aloud when they get to Beca's dorm. She places her key in the bowl next to the entrance. "Would it be appropriate to refer to him as a 'nerd to the power of two' if he were both a magician and a Treble?" Beca asks, genuinely curious. She sits in her chair and unplugs her laptop from the electrical outlet. Jesse hands the DVD to her so she can load it onto the laptop's disc drive.
Jesse laughs. "Definitely not. I wouldn't let him be that weird."
"That's like, the blind leading the blind," Beca jokes. She moves the laptop on the bed and then walks to the light switch to turn off the lighting. Jesse quickly gets settled in and makes himself home on the bed. While they spread out, the laptop is positioned in front of them on the bed. Beca feels the vibration of her phone in her back pocket.
'Hey, you're probably busy. Just text me when you have time. Xoxo'
Beca switches off the phone, tosses it at the foot of the bed, and then kicks her throw pillow, so it falls on top of the device.
Out of reach. Out of sight. Out of mind.
"Is everything okay?" Jesse asks.
"What? Um, yeah, let's get this over with."
"That's the wrong attitude, Becs," Jesse remarks, and Beca can sense his gaze on her profile. "The endings are the best part."
Beca shrugs.
"Do you even want to see the whole movie?" Jesse asks, "I mean, we don't have to." He skips the movie to the ending, and they watch it together. Jesse knows every line of each character by heart, as he's whispering them quietly to himself. After the end credits rolls, Jesse states, "I know that you don't like watching movies that much."
Beca smiles sideways at him. He did listen to her, after all. "Well, that's nice. I didn't mind watching the whole thing. And it sucks being alone here."
Jesse chuckles. "What? And that from an antisocial? Who are you?"
"Shut up. I do mingle." Beca rests on her elbow and thinks back to the night before when she and Chloe had been on this very same bed, making out and squirming against each other. It causes her stomach to flutter, and her cheeks get warm.
Jesse misreads Beca's facial expression, and suddenly, his face becomes blurry and distorted as he slowly moves closer to her. She fixes her gaze on his lips, gradually moving her face closer to his.
And Beca realizes she is not experiencing the same thrill as the night before. As a result, she turns her head away. Jesse is not being treated fairly by her. She likes him, but not like that.
Kimmy walks through the door, and the light switch is turned on as she enters the room, accompanied by her close friends. They aren't the geeks she brought home last time.
Kimmy tells her companions, "It's the white girl again."
Beca barely notices when Jesse gets up to leave.
"I didn't expect you back so early," Beca states and watches them enter the room and spread on Kimmy's side of the room.
They talk in their native tongue, and only the other Korean girl turns and smiles to acknowledge Beca, but they don't say anything to her.
*,*,*
Beca wonders if it would be considered "ghosting" because she didn't reply to Chloe's text messages at all, leaving her messages "on read." Chloe would have figured out that, looking at their historical response time, Beca would have already responded. But then again, they aren't teenagers, and Beca sure doesn't need teenage drama—if Chloe were to get mad at her because of it, so be it.
Beca feels slightly better, having emotionally distanced herself from Chloe. And physical distance sure was of advantage, too. And, well, she even managed not to think about her that much.
That is, of course, when the holidays ended and classes began again.
And also, the Bellas are back on campus.
While Beca is sitting by herself beneath her favorite tree with her laptop on her lap, she has a distant view of the group and can see them gathered around.
She watches when a bulky jock approaches the Bellas and snatches one of them, grabbing the woman around the waist; that particular redhead squeals and swats him. It's Chloe's Tom.
And the redhead in question, of course, is Chloe.
Chloe gives the jock a peck on his lips and hugs him.
He's still holding her when Beca looks away and places her headphones on. It doesn't affect her. Why would it? Music is the best way to shut the whole world off. To shut her emotions off. People.
Her.
And then there's a poke on her side, and Beca is startled.
"Dude, what's wrong with you?" She removes her headphones and drapes them around her neck, pausing the music. Jesse is grinning from ear to ear. "Hey." She retrieves the DVD from her bag and hands it back to him.
"I'm sorry about yesterday," he says sheepishly as he sits beside Beca. "I shouldn't have left like that. Can we just forget it ever happened? Water under the bridge?" He scratches his head and laughs.
"Forget what?" Beca smirks and pushes him. "Don't be awkward. I can't handle another awkward freak."
At that, Jesse arches an eyebrow. "You practically attract awkwardness, Beca Mitchell. Who did you upset?"
"Nobody."
Beca looks back at the Bellas, and even though Chloe is not looking in her direction, she can feel her gaze on her. Chloe is standing together with Tom apart from the group. And she keeps smiling at him as they talk.
When Beca looks back at Jesse, he is jabbing in his shoe, looking uncomfortable as he opens the lace and takes it off. "Sorry, I think I have something in my shoe."
"I'm pretty sure that's just your foot," Beca comments wryly, and Jesse bursts out laughing. It's the kind of laughter that makes her return a genuine smile. "Seriously, you're such a weirdo."
He places an arm around her shoulder and kisses her temple. "You're my favorite girl. And I love you in a platonic way," he says in her hair. Beca leans against him and kisses his cheek in a friendly gesture.
Water under the bridge.
As she accidentally casts another glance in the Bellas' direction, Beca notices that Chloe is no longer standing there amongst them. Tom walks by the Bellas while waving to them as he does so.
The appearance on the women's faces is one of equal parts bewilderment and confusion as he points in the opposite direction and then shrugs. They then follow in the direction he pointed.
*,*,*
Beca is scribbling in her notepad titles of songs that she feels suit her moods in certain situations, kind of like a soundtrack of her special days. So, what? Other girls write in diaries; Beca makes soundtracks.
It seems that Kimmy is already sound asleep. She never fails to turn in for the night at the same hour of 9:30 in the evening. When Beca works on her music, she frequently does so while seated at her desk, with the light on her desk dimmed down.
She tries to push one particular thought out of her head by pressing the bridge of her nose and squinting her eyes shut. The thought is that by entirely ghosting Chloe, Beca is acting unjustly and unreasonably.
She grabs her phone and types, 'Hey, weirdo, are you still up for the pillow fight this weekend?'
Instead of waiting for a reply, Beca goes to her cabinet and grabs her pajamas, a towel, and her toothbrush to head for the bathroom outside on the floor of their dorm room.
Beca doesn't receive any text messages that night.
The following morning, however, her phone blinks, indicating a new notification.
'Wnt 2 grab coffee later?' (1:23 a.m.) It's Jesse.
Her message to Chloe remained unread. And Beca can't help but feel disappointed by this.
She feels disappointed since it was not the message she was hoping to get. That the person who sent it to her wasn't the one she had expected. Nonetheless, she responds to Jesse with a thumbs-up before getting up and walking to the communal shower facilities.
As she's standing under the heat of the water, the song from David Guetta comes to her mind again, "Titanium,"and she feels herself smile. She doesn't know why this particular song is stuck in her head.
As she sings the first verses, memories of Chloe come flooding back: the redhead whimpering quietly beneath Beca, her flushed face aglow with pleasure.
As she realizes what she's been fantasizing about, Beca switches the water to ice-cold and squeals.
During one of her lectures, Beca is sitting beside—she assumes—a Japanese woman with long, straight hair. She's beatboxing quietly and tapping her pencil on her desk to the lecturer's speech. The rhythm and beats sound nice. Beca can identify her as a member of the Bellas.
"That's pretty good," Beca comments.
She whispers something unintelligible.
Then Beca feels her phone vibrate. 'Meet whr?' Jesse again. He's constantly typing like he's in a hurry.
'I'm free at 10. Meet you at the café?'
At 10:12 a.m., while Beca is waiting at the Barden Café for Jesse to arrive, she rechecks her phone to look at the time. She's been waiting for over 10 minutes, and still no Jesse.
'Dude, I'm already here. Where the heck are you?'
As she is tucking her phone away, it vibrates again. A new message. She only reads the single message and doesn't check the sender's name.
'Do you want to meet at 5 p.m. tomorrow? Is that okay?'
'I thought we'd meet at 10, which was 15 minutes ago. Get your ass here. I'm starving.'
And all of a sudden, she realizes that this text message has a complete sentence, no misspellings and that the syntax is accurate.
Then the weight of her mistake begins to sink in. It's as though her spirit has risen to the heavens to see her mortal existence. Watching and laughing at her complete and total idiocy.
She accidentally replied to Chloe.
With shaking fingers, Beca types quickly. 'Sorry, ignore that last one. Yeah, 5 p.m. tomorrow sounds good.'
'Okay. Enjoy your date. ;)'
Beca clasps her hand to her forehead and feels her ears burn.
"Sorry, Becs, that stupid professor didn't stop talking." Jesse eventually arrives, out of breath. "You okay?"
Beca isn't so sure.
*,*,*
It's Saturday. And the clock has been ticking painfully slow since she woke up this morning.
Beca feels each of her muscle strands tense and turns to needles with every second that passes. Her heartbeat accelerates the closer it gets to 5 p.m.
After their kiss "incident," this would be the first time they would see each other again. Since last weekend, they haven't communicated at all, with Chloe being the only one to have texted her but received no answer from Beca. When Chloe got back, they stopped seeing each other throughout the week. And suddenly, everything seems to have taken on an awkward air. Beca is to blame for all of this.
Now she feels nervous.
Thus, she resorts to the one thing she knows would calm her nerves: she powers up her MIDI keyboard and plays a few chords. And sings. She sings the verse to "Human - by Christina Perri" as she can't think of anything else that fits her current state of mind while playing the chords on her keyboard.
She starts with an instrumental intro, then begins,
"But I'm only human...
And I bleed when I fall down," while singing, she's thinking about how she'd act later when she sees Chloe. Suddenly, her pulse quickens.
"I'm only human
And I crash, and I break down..." she thinks about what to say to her.
"Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up, and then I fall apart..." She hopes Chloe can piece together the reason behind Beca's behavior in the last few days. And understands.
"Cause I'm only human..." she finishes the verse and then adds an instrumental ending.
Then it's knocking at the door. Twice.
*,*,*
Chloe stands on the other side of the door, a meek smile on her pretty face, her red curls clipped at one side, the strands flowing over her shoulders.
"Hey," she says, tugging at the strap of her bag.
She's wearing a marine bluish mix-plaid dress that reaches to her knees, in which Chloe seems timid even though she's quite the opposite, and white sandals. A yellow beach bag is draped over her right shoulder; a pillow is poking out of it. Her hands are folded in front of her.
She looks gorgeous.
Beca sees, for the first time, this side of the usually perky redhead. And she's waiting for Chloe to pounce at her and strangle her with her hugs, which she usually does, which Beca has grown used to quite quickly.
But she remembers the tension between them.
"Hey, you," Beca says in greeting.
Chloe doesn't enter the room right away. She stands there, looking at Beca with those bright blue, waiting eyes.
Chloe's words enter Beca's mind, "... And there will be no more cuddling or hugging unless you really want me to, of course."
That's when Beca understands. She lifts her arms slightly to the side, barely moving as if nonverbally inviting Chloe into her arms.
And as she drops her beach bag to the ground, Chloe snaps out of her stance, a broad smile on her face, and leaps at Beca. Her arms wrapped around her neck. And to Beca's own surprise, even though it knocks her breath out, her rigid body instantly relaxes, and she presses into Chloe's. Her arms went from stiff to immediately finding Chloe's back. Beca melts into this body-crushing embrace. And she's taking in Chloe's perfume and her shampoo. God, she smells so good. She loves her scent. It's like she hasn't seen Chloe for years, not just a week.
"Chloe?" Beca says tentatively into her friend's hair, "you know, I'm not good with apologies. I kinda fucked up for ignoring you, I guess, and now I want to un-fuck it…um… about me freaking out."
Chloe pulls back, an even wider grin, if that's even humanly possible, on her beautiful face. She still has her arms on Beca's shoulders. "Aww, Beca." She beams. "That's the first time you called me by my name."
Beca's ears suddenly feel hot. "Yeah, but don't get used to it," she says, smiling mischievously.
Chloe smiles at her and kisses her on the cheek as she giggles. Beca is experiencing some discomfort with her ears right now. Chloe says, "That's too bad," before walking to her bag, picking it up, and then closing the door behind her. While doing so, she says to Beca, "Yeah, it's okay. I figured I'd give you some space."
"You're truly best friend material," Beca murmurs as she turns around. But she feels Chloe at her back, hugging her and pulling her close again. Beca stiffens this time because she didn't expect it.
"Aww, Beca..." Chloe coos. She quickly adds, maybe feeling embarrassed for hugging Beca so much. "This is the last one, I promise."
"Now enough with this shit," Beca exclaims and shrugs her off, and Chloe quickly releases her from her grasp. "What's the plan?" She proceeds to her laptop, awakens it from its sleep mode, and chooses a playlist that she thinks Chloe might also like.
"Kimmy is not here?" Chloe wonders aloud. Then she pauses to listen, "Aww, that's a mashup from the playlist you gave me."
Beca can't help but feel flattered that Chloe listened to her personal playlist. However, rather than admitting that fact, she answers the question, "Um, no, she's usually at home during the weekends or holidays."
As Chloe drops her bag on the floor at the foot of the bed, she sits near the desk and looks over at the MIDI keyboard. Then she looks at Beca in a manner that may be described as rather smitten.
"You sing extremely wonderfully," she says softly, with amazement audible in her tone of voice and visible in her facial expression.
When they first met, Beca recalls seeing her gaze at her exactly the same way. During one of the many previous nights, by the empty pool.
"What happened to I'm 'not that bad. It could be better,' what you first told me?" Beca remembers what Chloe had said back then.
On the night when the stars first aligned.
"You know I was only riling you up, right?" Chloe tells her cheekily.
Beca, shaking her head amusedly in response, walks to her keyboard and switches it off to avert Chloe's gaze. Her ears feel hot. "Anyway, you heard that, huh?"
"Would you sing it again for me?" Chloe requests.
"No, I'm not singing in front of an audience."
"It's just me, Beca."
Beca meets Chloe's brilliant blue eyes and realizes the redhead's affection for her seems undimmed.
"Please, don't ask me to do this," Beca whines, running her hand in frustration over her face. "I already gave in to everything you asked me to." That came over all wrong. It is not intended to be construed as an accusation. But this sleepover and last time as sweet nothings had been whispered and maybe even a kiss that had been shared between them… Although Beca was also to blame for the latter.
"Okay, you don't have to," Chloe says quickly. "It was enough to hear you behind the door."
"How long have you been standing there?"
"Ten minutes," Chloe admits with a sly smile. "I didn't want to seem too eager and excited."
"Oh, Geez, and yet you told me."
"Because you asked."
After an excruciatingly long moment during which they both look directly at each other, her pulse pumping rapidly, Beca finally breaks eye contact and moves to the cabinet to fetch a bottle of tequila. "I got this one for us. TA-DAA!" She does it like a magician to break the awkward tension between them, and then she puts it on the desk.
"Oh, but how?" Chloe asks, dumbfounded. She walks to her beach bag and pulls out a bottle, too. "I got us one. Didn't expect you'd get booze."
"Why? Because I'm a homebody? Because I never see the daylight?" Beca snaps, placing a hand indignantly on her chest as if hurt.
"No, Beca," Chloe replies with frustration, "because you're not legal to buy liquor." She rolls her eyes at Beca and places the bottle on the desk beside the other.
"Ah, oops, yes," Beca says dumbly, scratching her head, "but I got connections."
"Yeah?" Chloe chortles, "Did you find a legal homebody who delivered it through carrier pigeon?" Chloe remarks while crossing her arms and taking a seat on the bed.
Beca responds, "Yeah, sort of," and reveals, "The pigeon's name is Jesse." Chloe's expression becomes noticeably displeased as soon as his name is mentioned.
"Jesse got you the booze?" Chloe asks, overplaying her displeasure by smiling, "isn't he underage, too?"
"Yeah, but one of his friends isn't." Beca makes the shape of a gun with her fingers, winks, and clicks her tongue as though she's the first person to discover this perfect loophole. She feels like a dork the moment she does this.
Chloe, giggling to herself behind her hand, grabs two pints from her bag, a salt shaker, and a Tupperware containing pre-sliced limes and places all of these items on the desk. "So, I'd say let's start." After she has poured the liquor for both of them, she hands one to Beca and then asks, "Will you let me do a body shot on you later?"
"Huh, what's that?" Having never been to bars, clubs, or parties, whether by herself or with companions, Beca feels stupid and inexperienced. Like she's been living under a rock. But she does know what "ghosting" means. That much booze, or any alcohol at all, isn't something she generally does. Rarely, if ever, does she drink beer. After the second tequila shot, she's sure she'll be wasted.
"Okay, if you're good, I'll teach you." Chloe winks at her seductively.
She watches as Chloe sprinkles salt on her wrist and then licks it off slowly with her pink tongue. Her baby-blue eyes are fixed on Beca while she does this, and the movement is hypnotizing. She then brings the pint to her mouth and gulps it down; her face shudders with excitement as she takes a sip of the lime.
"Just like that," Chloe says slyly, "but instead of licking the salt from my wrist, I'll be licking it straight from your body." She winks.
Beca, dropping her gaze and feeling her ears go warm, nods, but doesn't argue. Why ever that is. She then mimics the action with the salt and drinks her first shot of tequila. She gasps at the burning sensation in her lungs, coughing in the process. And then bites in her lime.
"That your first shot?" Chloe asks curiously, tucking a curl behind her ear. "And we got two bottles. I guess that'll be a couple of slumber parties, then." She declares happily and pours them both two more shots.
"Urgh."
As the evening progresses, they have decided to order pizza and soft drinks, sitting sprawled out on the floor as they eat and chat about themselves and how the Bellas' excursion had been, though it had more or less been like a Bootcamp, Chloe tells her.
"Aubrey wants to work there after graduation." Chloe shrugs at the idea.
"Like what?" Beca asks. "As a bear poop scooper?"
Chloe laughs and kicks her foot.
"By the way," Beca suddenly remembers something, "what did Stacie tell you when we were at the park?" She leans back against her bed and bites at her slice of pepperoni pizza. "You said you were going to tell me. Now is the time."
Chloe hides her grin behind her hand as she has pizza in her mouth. She swallows and stares at Beca through her lashes. "She asked me why I looked at you like I wanted to fuck you."
Beca coughs when she hears Chloe use vulgar language. "What?" She disregards the question, wondering if Chloe, in fact, had looked like that.
"Her words, not mine." Chloe waves off.
They talked about Beca's part-time job and how everything was going for her. What it was that she had been working on recently. They are seated facing one other across the room, with Chloe reclining against Kimmy's bed and Beca sitting in a cross-legged position on her side of the room. After they have finished their pizza, Chloe suggests playing a few games together to pass the time.
"Okay, let's start with 'marry, fuck, kill'," Chloe suggests as she pours them another round of liquor. It's still weird hearing the redhead use the f-word, but after all, it's part of the game.
"Okay, sure." Beca agrees because her inhibition is slowly dropping. Just after her second shot.
As Beca is in the process of reaching for the saltshaker and turning the back of her hand to sprinkle the salt on it, Chloe asks her if she would like to take the back of Chloe's hand instead. Beca ponders the suggestion as she observes the cheeky grin the redhead is sporting and thinks it is a bold and playful proposition. But that's what Beca had agreed earlier, so she complies while having her eyes roll. However, she doesn't voice her objection.
Moving the pizza box and soft drinks aside, Chloe crawls slowly forward and extends the back of her right hand. Beca takes it and sprinkles salt on it, watching the redhead's reaction with curious interest. Then Beca brings the hand to her lips, much like a gentleman kissing a lady's hand while holding eye contact. She sticks her tongue out and sweeps it slowly across Chloe's skin. Chloe's eyes widen with excitement. Then Beca quickly downs her shot and bites in her lime. She's gotten used to the taste already.
Chloe squeals and then sweetly asks if she could give it a shot. Beca can't help but question how exploratory and juvenile all of this is for their age. Two young women—one almost 20, the other in her early 20s—in college, inexperienced and innocent, in a room with tequila, acting daringly and pushing the boundaries of each other.
However, Chloe is not at all inexperienced; in fact, she is a vixen. And because she shares a household with a bunch of other women, she is an expert in this specific area of expertise.
Chloe grabs Beca's extended left hand and turns it around, so the palm faces upward. However, before she sprinkles the saltshaker over it, she licks the skin first to wet it so that the salt would stick better, leaving a trail over her headphone tattoo and slightly further towards her Latin quote tattoo, "vita ante acta," on her mid-arm. *
Beca takes a deep breath in and then holds it.
The next few seconds play out in front of her as if in slow motion. She watches as Chloe's eyes fixate, for some reason, on her wrist tattoo for what seems like an eternity, as if she recalls something valuable to her, and this memory is now playing out in her mind. Because her expression softens. And she smiles.
And Beca, somehow, has the unmistakable impression that she has been here before, as if she has a déjà-vu experience right now. But it just couldn't be. Then Chloe snaps out of it, grabs the saltshaker, and continues with what she is doing. She licks the salty path left on Beca's skin with a delicate sweep of her tongue. Then she changes into her girlish and perky state again as she downs her tequila shot.
Their eye contact is maintained throughout the entirety of this last instant.
Beca feels goosebumps creeping up her skin and watches as Chloe bites in her lime and grimaces as she swallows the sour taste of it. Beca then releases the breath she had been holding and swallows hard.
And everything is back to normal. Well, at least Beca assumes that.
"Okay, back to business," Chloe announces, smacking her thigh to make them focus, "Scarlett Johansson, Alex Pettyfer, and Blake Lively."
Beca thinks about this deeply, each of their qualities and appearances. "Hmm, that's a tough one," she says as she rubs her chin, "well, I would marry Blake Lively because I think she'd be a good mother and has a sense of humor." Chloe nods and agrees. "I would fuck Scarlett Johansson," Beca ponders further, a sheepish smile creeping up her face as she adds, "because she seems like a wildcat, and I love that," she winks for emphasis. She continues nonchalantly and shrugs her indifference, "And yeah, kill Alex Pettyfer... because fuck that guy."
Chloe slowly raises her eyebrows, her lips forming a wicked smile then she bursts out laughing. She clearly didn't expect this of Beca to answer.
Beca barely notices that they are both sitting closer now than at the beginning so that Chloe can now smack her playfully and touch her whenever she feels like it.
Chloe seems to gravitate toward Beca for reasons she can't quite put her finger on. What if the attraction is mutual? Because Chloe's been so affectionate with her, would that suggest that she's attracted to Beca, too? How absurd! And why does Beca feel a void in her life whenever Chloe's not around?
Oh, dear. The alcohol makes her feel like an actual human being, which sucks.
Chloe has a boyfriend, for crying out loud.
"Okay, my turn," Beca says, leaning back and trying to think of possible celebrities or characters, but the effect of the alcohol clouds her mind; she comes up with, "Zac Efron, Wonder Woman, and... SpongeBob?"
"Are you serious?" Chloe throws her head back and laughs so wholeheartedly that it causes Beca's insides to melt, like a layer of snow on the first day of spring. "Hmm, well, let me think about that. I would marry SpongeBob because he maintains an unwaveringly positive and passionate attitude toward his job, and it is the kind of commitment that I would desire in my marriage." She drops her eyes for dramatic effect and then back up, catching Beca's. As Chloe bites her bottom lip, she continues, "I would fuck Wonder Woman because... hot and brunette chicks are totes my type." And with a frown, she adds, "And kill Zac Efron because I've watched all High School Musical movies, and I'm envious of his character that he ended up with the woman who shares his passion for singing."
"Dude, that's..." Beca says slowly and pauses as she contemplates the underlying messages in the redhead's statements, "so deep. And well-thought." Chloe chuckles and leans back on her hands.
They play this game for a few more rounds until they take a short bathroom break. When they return, they instinctively sit close to each other again as if that's natural and where they belong—nearby each other. Everything feels natural with Chloe like they share a special unspeakable bond. Beca would never tell her that.
Chloe suggests playing another round and then moving on to the next game, which will also be "fun."
It's Chloe's turn to name personalities. "Okay, 'marry, fuck, kill'," she starts, holding up a finger, "Dr. Mitchell, Jesse Swanson, and... Chloe Beale."
"Dude, gross, seriously? I don't like this game anymore," Beca exclaims and drops her face in her hands.
Chloe, of course, laughs at that and pinches Beca's thigh. "Come on, final round."
How is she getting out of this? Beca thinks, but her mind doesn't seem to work any longer. They're friends, after all, so she tries it playfully, without really thinking, "Well, obviously I would neither of the three options do to or with my father," she states matter-of-factly. As she ponders about the other two people, she averts her eyes as her ears get warm. She scratches her head. The alcohol is speaking for her now. "So, I'd marry and fuck you because you're my friend, and I love you. Plus, it helps that you're beautiful and hot. And, well, I'd kill Jesse because he can be such a jerk when he nicks that last piece of food I've saved for last, and I hate it when he does that."
Silence.
Beca watches as the expression on Chloe's face brings to mind the image of the early sunrise, which paints the horizon in a mesmerizing hue of warm colors. She sees her friend's face light up with delight and hears her squeal with happiness. Her bright baby blue eyes enlarge as they sparkle. And because Chloe is so overtaken with emotions, Beca isn't all that surprised when the redhead all of a sudden moves forward and pecks her on the lips. In a friendly way, she tells herself. Because Chloe is just like that. Overly affectionate.
"That's so sweet to hear from you, Beca," Chloe says. "I love you, too."
Beca's stomach lurches when she sees Chloe so close, the sensation of the redhead's soft lips lingering on her own. The heat from her ears spreads to her head, and she hears herself chuckle. "Get off my face, you fucking weirdo."
Chloe no longer seems affected by Beca's rudeness, suggesting that she has developed a tolerance for it. This might be because they know each other well enough and have established some bonds. At this time, Chloe should understand that this is how Beca expresses her feelings toward her.
"Next game?" Chloe suggests; that stupid grin doesn't leave her face.
"What do you have in mind?" Beca is the one this time to pour them the next shots. Because her brain decides that her system sure needs more alcohol.
"Well, I think it'd be interesting to play 'Never have I ever'," Chloe suggests, explaining that it's another way of getting to know each other more. Their own rules specify that it must be based on personal experience and not on anything superficial, such as their physical characteristics. To prevent them from going into a death spiral, they will each have five lives.
As Chloe takes the saltshaker, she moves closer to Beca; the action is quite casual while she puts the lime in Beca's mouth to bite on it.
"But first, I'll do a body shot with you," Chloe says naughtily, winking.
Beca forces herself not to bite at the lime's skin as she feels her saliva form in the back of her mouth while Chloe pushes her gently to lean against the bed behind her, eyes hungrily looking at her, so that Beca is craning her head back.
Then, Beca takes a quick breath in as she feels Chloe's warm tongue wet the skin of her throat. She also feels Chloe's lips and tongue alternating, and Beca can't help but groan at the sensation she is experiencing. Her eyes roll back in her head while her eyelids flutter closed. Her hands clutch pointlessly, until she grabs hold of the back of Chloe's neck, to pull her closer.
Her blood rushes through her ears, and it's as though behind a tall wall of glass, the music playing in the background devolves into a mumbling sound.
Beca cannot recall whether Chloe used salt at any point; her thoughts are a jumbled mass in her cloudy head. But she sees that Chloe is chugging down her shot, and as she moves her hand behind Beca's head, Chloe first licks against the lime, then removes it from Beca's mouth. Their lips touch, and Beca's stomach tingles at the sensation.
She feels suddenly out of breath as if she had just completed ten repetitions of running from her dorm to the radio station and back. For absolutely no reason. While Chloe wipes her lips and adds the lime to the pile, she can't help but laugh uncontrollably.
"I've always wanted to do that," Chloe cheekily says, "you okay?"
Beca's heart and mind are still racing, and the alcohol suddenly doesn't have any effect on her any longer. It is comparable to waking up from a drunken stupor to find that you have narrowly escaped being run over by a fast-moving train moments before. The presence of adrenaline in your body causes this effect.
"Yeah, would've guessed that's a common thing you did with your girls," Beca remarks to shift the attention away from her.
"What? No! The Bellas' House is not the Playboy Mansion where we have pillow fights in sexy lingerie and make-out sessions, Beca." Chloe laughs and rolls her eyes. She squeezes Beca's thigh when she passes Beca her pint. "Your turn."
"You want me...?" Beca takes the pint with a somewhat trembling hand, unsure of what's expected of her. She overplays her nervousness by clearing her throat.
"Just do whatever makes you feel comfortable." She isn't challenging Beca in any way. When Chloe says that, she means it.
Nevertheless, Beca lets her mind race and senses her primal instincts kicking in, cortisol streaming through her blood as she prepares to fight off the threat to her safety… or urging her to run. But her legs feel heavy, and she seems to have lost control over them as they refuse to move.
Mentally, she's getting ready to plunge into the icy water, hoping to survive. Because if Chloe could do that and she sees this as nothing more than a game—because it is one—then Beca can, too. They are friends, after all.
So, what's the big deal?
As she balances the pint expertly with one hand, the other pushes at Chloe's shoulder and wordlessly urges her to lean back. Until Chloe is lying on her back, Beca hovers above her, steadying herself on one arm. She carefully moves between Chloe's legs but tries hard not to touch her too much. She lowers the pint on the ground next to Chloe's head without taking her eyes off her. Drinking in the sight of her, being so close to her face. Smelling her scent. Feeling her heat—and weirdly, also her breasts.
Chloe's eyes widen, and her pupils dilate in response to her, lips turning into a gentle smile. Her irises are no longer predominantly brilliant blue, mainly dark because of her pupils.
She looks so beautiful.
Chloe holds her breath, anticipating every move that Beca is making.
Keeping Chloe's head at bay with a tender grip, Beca dives down like a ravenous vampire devouring its prey, aiming for the redhead's fragile flesh at the base of her throat. She gives the skin an open-mouthed kiss before using the flat of her tongue to sweep it up and down the tender skin.
Chloe takes a sharp inhale upon contact, bucking against Beca and releasing a soft moan.
Beca imitates the way Chloe did it to her before—and that wasn't so chaste either—by giving her delicate bites along her pulse point, moving back up and kissing her just below her earlobe, and then softly sucking on her.
"Shit!" Chloe hisses through clenched teeth, restraining herself from being vocal but failing. She tilts her head back to allow Beca more room, her hands clenching and gripping at Beca's sides, and her knees are suddenly pulled up, bracketing her. Maybe to keep Beca there, to prevent her from moving away. Or perhaps it's out of reflex.
Beca hums below Chloe's earlobe as she sucks and licks on that spot. And she can't help but notice that Chloe is moaning too loudly, making whimpering noises as if she can't control it. Her lack of inhibition and self-control is likely due to the alcohol in her bloodstream.
Or maybe she's just this… responsive.
Chloe admitted to her only last weekend that she wasn't getting sexually stimulated near her ear and below her earlobe, but hearing her whimper just the right way makes it look like Chloe was mistaken.
And she can't be feigning this.
Her pulse is throbbing hard against Beca's tongue rather vehemently. Cheeks are flushed, her whole body is charged. And her breathing is ragged. Moreover, she's tensing her legs around Beca's hips. Like… she's restraining herself from… grinding her.
Beca is surprised to realize that this is having an effect on her as well. She can barely suppress a groan as the involuntary sensation in her stomach intensifies, traveling further down between her thighs.
She doesn't realize during which point exactly Chloe's hand found its way to the small of her back, snuck under the hem of her shirt, and began pressing her closer. Her other hand travels to the back of Beca's neck to keep her mouth in one spot.
This is just like messing around, discovering new territories, and finding out your friend is enjoying this, too. Maybe enjoying it too much.
Seeing and hearing Chloe's sounds of urgent need feel like reliving a memory of a dream.
What it's exactly causing in Beca is something she doesn't want to think about.
But right now, this moment, they can both blame it on the booze.
Because Beca can't be seriously turned on by this, can she? Be turned on by Chloe? No.
She draws back when it becomes too much for her senses. Chloe sighs in disappointment as she untangles herself from Beca. Her eyes are still shut as she is slowly regaining her breathing.
Smiling and feeling smug, Beca reaches for her shot, downs it, and realizes that she forgot both the salt and the lime.
"That was nice," she chuckles as she moves away from Chloe, who is now hiding her flushed face behind her hands. "Are you okay?" Beca inquires.
Slowly, Chloe pushes herself up on her elbow until she's sitting upright again. "Yeah, that… took me by surprise." She giggles sheepishly as she flattens her dress with her palm, not looking at Beca.
"Should we continue?" Beca asks, hoping that nobody has come past her room and overheard Chloe making porn noises. The other residents on this floor know that two females are occupying this dorm room. And what if they had caught a glimpse of the ravishing redhead walking in earlier and made the connection between the two? Would they treat Beca with discrimination? Or would they high-five her? On the other hand, that is something that she would give the responsibility of worrying about to future-Beca.
"What?" Chloe asks, dumbfounded.
"The game you suggested," Beca says with a chuckle, gesturing with her hand, "getting tired already?"
"Ah, yes, the game. Of course." Chloe shakes her head as if suddenly remembering what she's here for. "Do you want to start?"
"You suggested it. You start."
"All right, hmm..." Chloe is thinking about something when suddenly, the proverbial "light bulb" appears above her head, and she has an idea. As she continues, a hesitant grin creeps onto her face. "Never have I ever... kissed another girl… You know, like before last time."
"Duh." Beca rolls her eyes. She has never dated or kissed another girl, even though it may be anyone's assumption that she has. Because she may be somewhat "edgy." But no.
She does not drink.
Perhaps nobody assumed that since Beca is too feminine, but not in a Chloe feminine way, but still. And Beca doesn't give this kind of vibe at all, or does she? "You're supposed to do this to make me lose. I barely play this game, but I know how it works."
"Yeah, Miss Smarty-Pants. Your turn." Chloe is beaming, her cheeks blushing. "Wait, does that mean I was your first girl kiss?"
Beca blushes. "That's… ugh," she groans. She doesn't answer. But her blush is an answer.
Which is good enough for Chloe. She giggles happily.
"Never have I ever performed on stage and lost a competition before," Beca challenges. She heard about the former Bellas by Chloe, the redhead's former group of seniors, and she had found a YouTube video of Chloe's now-co-captain projectile vomiting during a performance.
Chloe rolls her eyes and chugs her shot. "Not fair. Okay..." Chloe huffs her annoyance, now challenging Beca, "never have I ever met a dazzling redhead before that I felt, somehow, attracted to."
"Dude, what the actual fuck?" Beca frowns and grimaces at the assumption, hoping Chloe doesn't see through her lie. "I'm not attracted to you." She watches as Chloe's smile dims. And Beca casually takes her shot and downs it anyway. Chloe squeals and claps her hands excitedly. "All right," Beca continues. She's thinking about their conversations and tries to use that to her advantage. "Never have I ever felt unappreciated and not respected by my fellow captain." She doesn't know why, of all the possibilities there are, she picked this one.
Chloe's face saddens as she refills their glasses and downs hers, without saying anything or arguing.
"Chloe, I'm sorry, that was uncalled-for," Beca tells her. "I'm such a dick."
"No, it was a good point. Proves that you were listening." Then she is herself again, exuberant, and joyous. Until she says, "Never have I ever... been disrespectful to one of my parents in front of other people," Chloe retaliates, crossing her arms.
"Okay, I deserve that," Beca groans, then downs her shot. "But I went to visit him and apologized. So, at least I'm not a total dick."
"I never thought you were."
Beca coughs in her fist. "Never have I ever done anything even close to cheating on my boyfriend, and that includes making out with others."
Beca is curious whether Chloe considers the kiss they shared, in addition to what they had been doing earlier, which was not done in a chaste manner, to be anything substantial enough to qualify as cheating on her boyfriend. Or, if it was so commonplace and unimportant that she did not even consider it to be relevant at all, not worth mulling over. Furthermore, Beca is sure that if Chloe is being honest with her and is a genuine friend, she will, at the very least, acknowledge that the two of them shared an intimate moment. Beca wonders whether Chloe has even mentioned it to Tom.
Chloe doesn't chug her shot.
Beca blinks in confusion.
"I've never cheated in any of my relationships before," Chloe says blankly, "what makes you even think that?"
"I was just... I was, I thought since," Beca stammers, pointing at the space between them, then rubbing her neck, "okay, this game is no fun. And it brings out the monster in me."
Chloe changes her sitting position so that she has her body turned away from Beca, her legs pulled up as she hugs them, her chin on her knees. "Because we kissed last time?" she asks, reading Beca's expression like a book. Because, for some reason, this is what Chloe is good at. Reading her facial expression and body language like it's no big deal. She knows what's on Beca's mind almost all the time just by closely observing her. She's holding her dress in place. And looks adorably at Beca.
"Yeah," Beca whispers, taking her eyes away from Chloe. She flicks an invisible piece of lint from her pants, then rubs the spot.
"Just ask me, Beca, what do you want to know?"
Beca is hesitating. But then she realizes this could be her chance to find out the truth, and she decides to approach Chloe directly rather than constantly assuming the worst. You know, like a mature adult would.
"Aren't you dating Tom, as in, currently?" She poses the question and notices that her hands are beginning to sweat.
Chloe smiles softly. "Tom and I broke up over a month ago." Then she stretches her legs and leans on one arm, still facing Beca. "It was on that same day we first met—or rather, the second time. When you were singing... By the abandoned pool? It felt like you were calling for me."
"You're such a… dork," Beca chuckles but can't help but smile. Her head feels warm, and her heart is throbbing wildly like a herd of antelopes in open grasslands against her ribcage. "It's also creepy, like I've summoned a red-haired demon under the moonlight," she adds wryly.
After a silent moment, Chloe bursts out laughing. That full-on laughter is visible on her whole body as she throws her head back and then holds her stomach. Then she comments, as her laughter ebbs away, "I understand now why Jesse is always laughing when he's with you. You two are a cute couple together." Chloe dries her eyes.
"Beale, hooking me up again?" Beca asks, reprimanding.
"You two aren't dating?" Chloe inquires, genuinely surprised.
"No, still not. Would not. Not in this lifetime, anyway." Beca frowns and wonders why this is something Chloe seems most interested in. She's constantly checking on Beca's relationship status.
Chloe seems satisfied with that answer. "Good," she says curtly, "it's my turn. We both have three lives remaining." She takes a deep breath, thinking hard. "Never have I ever used my singing voice to turn a friend on."
"What? How would I know that?" Beca asks incredulously. She plays with the hem of her shirt. "I have no way of knowing that."
Chloe, cheeks flushed, drops her eyes to look away, suddenly appearing like a timid high school girl in front of their crush.
Then it dawns on Beca.
"No fucking way!" Beca exclaims, clasping both hands to her mouth. "Are you serious?"
"You really are a monster, Mitchell." Chloe covers her face in embarrassment. "You have to drink!"
"That could be a cunning ploy. You could also be just saying that so that I lose a life," Beca states.
"When you did that… when you sang into my ear," her eyes daring, searching for Beca's, "did I look like I was just acting?"
Beca remembers that moment, the way Chloe had looked at her and squirmed against her while Beca was singing into her ear. Soft moans escaping Chloe's mouth, face flushed, hands pawing at Beca's back…
She refills both pints, takes hers, and holds it up. "Cheers!" she says as she chugs it down. "Two lives left for me." Beca has to think hard as well about their interactions with each other, everything Chloe's told her, and how she'd acted around her. The way she looks at her. "Never have I ever believed that a higher power is giving me all the signs that somebody is meant for me."
Chloe, visibly surprised, chuckles nervously as she brings her pint to her lips. "You never felt like that before?" she asks, not looking at Beca.
"To be honest, not really," Beca ponders, "I don't believe in destiny. Or at love at first sight."
"Too bad. Should I walk by again?" Chloe downs her shot.
"That's the oldest pickup line in history," Beca states with a grunt.
Chloe giggles. "Two lives for me, too. Never have I ever..."
"Wait, and who is it?" Beca interrupts her, feeling her heart sink. "Your destined person? Is he here at Barden?"
"That isn't even the question," Chloe says with a roll of her eyes, seeming to be embarrassed about the question or struggling with whether she should tell Beca. But she doesn't answer.
"I dare you to tell me," Beca demands petulantly.
"Different game, Beca," Chloe tells her, waving her off indifferently like she's shooing a fly away. She goes on, "Never have I ever felt rebellious and got a tattoo to punish my parents."
"Geez, how'd you even...?" Beca drinks the liquor, and it's starting to swim in her head. This is tough as she has one life remaining, and Chloe still has two. Every round has to count now. "Never have I ever thought of a person to be musically talented that they would make a perfect fit in my freak show."
Chloe raises an eyebrow. "That's close to the bone." Again, she refills their pints. And downs hers. "Match ball. Never have I ever..." she says, pondering, seeming like she is running out of ideas, "run away from home because life sucks as an angsty, um, teenage dirtbag?"
Beca chuckles and then bursts out laughing. "That's what you think of me? Dude, no, I never ran away from home. As much as I have wished to hurt my father, I wouldn't have thought of hurting my mother." Beca keeps her life. Game life, that is.
And she has to make the next one count. In order to win. Because she is that competitive. Showdown. A thought comes to her mind, and she needs to risk it. Even though she has no evidence to back up this assumption, a part of her wants to find out how real her dream with Chloe was, despite the risks that may come with it.
"Never have I ever..." She holds eye contact with Chloe to watch for any indication of her reaction. It's the equivalent of playing poker and going all-in when you don't even have any solid hands to limp in with. "...had nodes that gave me trouble or hurt me when singing."
Chloe, as she's about to tuck a curl behind her ear, drops her hand mid-air. Her eyes widen in surprise as her body visibly stiffens. "How did you know?"
"That isn't even the question," Beca retaliates by throwing Chloe's words back at her, smirking, "have I won, or what?"
Chloe refills her pint, stares back at Beca, and chugs down her shot.
A/N: * "vita ante acta" – a life done before (referring to incarnations)