Slayers Epiphany
Episode 2: So You Want To Be Human
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"Did you have to tell everyone I'm a virgin?"
"You should be proud of your purity, Mr. Zelgadis," Amelia told him. "When you think of how all the other men in the land are just having sex left and right, and here you are, a paragon of virtue."
"Wow!" Gourry said, happily. "I didn't know I was having sex. I hope I've been doing a good job." He went over to Lina, who was probably the girl he'd been having sex with, and made the foolish mistake of openning his mouth. "Say, Lina. I'm doing a good job, right? I mean, I make you happy when we have sex, right?"
"We don't have sex," Lina told him.
"Oh," Gourry fell to his knees and glomped her legs. "Please, forgive me. I must have been cheating on you."
"Gourry," Lina said, evenly, "Amelia was exaggerating. She meant that ... oh, forget it."
"Thank you, Lina." Gourry nuzzled Lina, pressing his head against her...
*KICKZOOM!*
"Wow! The view is great up here!" Gourry said, cheerfully, as he sailed across the horizon.
*****
The morning brought with it an unexpected and unwelcome visitor.
"Okay, everyone! Rise and shine! All guys, gals, and virgin chimeras out of bed!"
"And just how did you find out I'm a virgin?" Zelgadis snarled at Xellos.
"Well, that," Xellos grinned, "is no secret."
Zelgadis sulked as the others packed their gear. He'd packed the night before. Years of travelling in an attempt to find his cure had taught him to pack the night before setting out, so that he could be well rested when it came time to head out.
"Pity about the cure," Xellos remarked. "Ah, well. You probably don't want it anyhow."
"What cure," Zelgadis didn't trust Xellos. But he wasn't about to miss out on a cure.
"The one for rust, of course," Xellos laughed. "Your hair could really use..."
"MY HAIR IS *NOT* RUSTY!"
"Oh, my," Xellos grinned. "Aren't we feisty. I can see why you have to fight to keep your virginity."
Zelgadis turned to walk away, and was visibly stunned to find Xellos's hand suddenly on his ass. He spun around and sent Xellos flying with a well-thrown punch..
*****
"You again," Zelgadis grumbled as the group passed Xellos on the road a few miles away. "Must we always run into you?"
"You're the one who punched me in this direction," Xellos grinned. "But, hey. No hard feelings. In fact, to show you how much I forgive you, I'm going to give you that cure. All you have to do is sleep with me."
Everyone gaped.
Would Zelgadis give up his virtue for a cure?
Would the Virgin Chimera give in to temptation?
Would Xellos successfully seduce the pure Zelgadis?
"Would the author please stop making this sound like the trailer for a 50s B movie?" Zelgadis glared.
The Chimera turned to Xellos. "You must be out of your mind." he told him. "Do you really think I'd give up my virginity to you?"
"Which would you rather be, human or a virgin?"
"I'd prefer to be both," Zelgadis replied. "At least until my wedding."
"Oh, I see," Xellos chuckled. "So on your wedding night, you want to lose your virginity and turn back into a Chimera. Got it."
"I do not want any such thing to happen on my wedding night!"
"Right." Xellos made as if to cross of a note he'd written. "Prefers not to lose his virginity on his wedding night..."
"AAAAARGH!"
"Well, gotta run." Xellos grinned as he vanished once again.
"Don't let him get to you, Zel'." Lina said, patting him on the shoulder.
"I won't let him hurt you, Mr. Zelgadis," Amelia vowed.
"Yeah, you were both a big help a minute ago." Zelgadis said, getting to his feet and walking away.
"Where are you going?" Lina called out to him.
"To find my cure," Zelgadis called back as he continued walking away until he was no longer in view.
(OWARI)
"Did you have to tell everyone I'm a virgin?"
"You should be proud of your purity, Mr. Zelgadis," Amelia told him. "When you think of how all the other men in the land are just having sex left and right, and here you are, a paragon of virtue."
"Wow!" Gourry said, happily. "I didn't know I was having sex. I hope I've been doing a good job." He went over to Lina, who was probably the girl he'd been having sex with, and made the foolish mistake of openning his mouth. "Say, Lina. I'm doing a good job, right? I mean, I make you happy when we have sex, right?"
"We don't have sex," Lina told him.
"Oh," Gourry fell to his knees and glomped her legs. "Please, forgive me. I must have been cheating on you."
"Gourry," Lina said, evenly, "Amelia was exaggerating. She meant that ... oh, forget it."
"Thank you, Lina." Gourry nuzzled Lina, pressing his head against her...
*KICKZOOM!*
"Wow! The view is great up here!" Gourry said, cheerfully, as he sailed across the horizon.
*****
The morning brought with it an unexpected and unwelcome visitor.
"Okay, everyone! Rise and shine! All guys, gals, and virgin chimeras out of bed!"
"And just how did you find out I'm a virgin?" Zelgadis snarled at Xellos.
"Well, that," Xellos grinned, "is no secret."
Zelgadis sulked as the others packed their gear. He'd packed the night before. Years of travelling in an attempt to find his cure had taught him to pack the night before setting out, so that he could be well rested when it came time to head out.
"Pity about the cure," Xellos remarked. "Ah, well. You probably don't want it anyhow."
"What cure," Zelgadis didn't trust Xellos. But he wasn't about to miss out on a cure.
"The one for rust, of course," Xellos laughed. "Your hair could really use..."
"MY HAIR IS *NOT* RUSTY!"
"Oh, my," Xellos grinned. "Aren't we feisty. I can see why you have to fight to keep your virginity."
Zelgadis turned to walk away, and was visibly stunned to find Xellos's hand suddenly on his ass. He spun around and sent Xellos flying with a well-thrown punch..
*****
"You again," Zelgadis grumbled as the group passed Xellos on the road a few miles away. "Must we always run into you?"
"You're the one who punched me in this direction," Xellos grinned. "But, hey. No hard feelings. In fact, to show you how much I forgive you, I'm going to give you that cure. All you have to do is sleep with me."
Everyone gaped.
Would Zelgadis give up his virtue for a cure?
Would the Virgin Chimera give in to temptation?
Would Xellos successfully seduce the pure Zelgadis?
"Would the author please stop making this sound like the trailer for a 50s B movie?" Zelgadis glared.
The Chimera turned to Xellos. "You must be out of your mind." he told him. "Do you really think I'd give up my virginity to you?"
"Which would you rather be, human or a virgin?"
"I'd prefer to be both," Zelgadis replied. "At least until my wedding."
"Oh, I see," Xellos chuckled. "So on your wedding night, you want to lose your virginity and turn back into a Chimera. Got it."
"I do not want any such thing to happen on my wedding night!"
"Right." Xellos made as if to cross of a note he'd written. "Prefers not to lose his virginity on his wedding night..."
"AAAAARGH!"
"Well, gotta run." Xellos grinned as he vanished once again.
"Don't let him get to you, Zel'." Lina said, patting him on the shoulder.
"I won't let him hurt you, Mr. Zelgadis," Amelia vowed.
"Yeah, you were both a big help a minute ago." Zelgadis said, getting to his feet and walking away.
"Where are you going?" Lina called out to him.
"To find my cure," Zelgadis called back as he continued walking away until he was no longer in view.
(OWARI)