10:00AM

"It seems young Jeff here, is a bit of an impressionist"

"The only decent impression he can do, is of a man with no talent."

Scott spun on his crutches and fell over.

"Lisseth!"

Fish ran in. he saw Lisseth advancing on Scott. He took a deep breath and did the only thing he could think of.

"ARGH! JEFF HELP!!!"

Lisseth turned to see Fish disappear down the corridor.

Jeff was downstairs in the common room when the scream filled the hallways.

"Yeah…of course you miss me, I'm your little brother when I'm not with you the world stops spinning…(ARGH! JEFF HELP!!!) Listen I got to go I think my room mate is trying to kill someone again…yeah…peace…okay yep bye."

Jeff gestured for Fish to go on without him. Jeff finally hung up and walked up the stairs; Lisseth was walking down the stairs. She was in no huge hurry. Her freakish minions were nowhere to be seen but as Jeff had seen in the last day and a half that didn't mean shit!

He stopped at the top of the stairs and watched her walk. Considering that she hated his guts, she'd been pretty nice to him.

"Duck!" Jeff heard Scott yell.

He counted slowly, "one Carolina, two Carolina, three Carolina," then he ducked. Butcher flew over his head. When Jeff stood up straight he realized that Lisseth was watching him and it made his blood run cold. Butcher landed on her chest next to her biology books. Jeff shuddered when he realized that she wasn't watching him, she was studying him. Jeff mentally ran through everything that could possibly be wrong, what was she and that goddamned bat fascinated by. That bat. Not those animals but that bat.

"Jump!" Fish yelled. Jeff didn't bother to count, he could hear it's footsteps. Jeff sailed through the air, landing safely half a second after the cat had run under him. He didn't turn now he just walked over to 211 where Fish was helping Scott up. The door slammed.

"You know she doesn't like guys in here." Jeff chastised lifting the pile of books Banshee had taken to sleeping on off the floor.

"So on another topic…are you gonna jump?" Scott smirked.

Jeff jumped on his bed and stared at the ceiling. "I don't know if I can anymore, I thought I could pull out but apparently Lisseth put up fliers with the stipulations of the jump on, so I couldn't." he laughed, "but she couldn't of possibly…hey?!"

"What's wrong?" Fish walked Scott to the window Jeff was looking out of. The entire campus was strewn with paper. Lisseth was standing in the midst of it all. She unhooked butcher from her shirt and sent her into the air.

"Shut the window, Jeff." Scott was freaking out. Jeff was about to oblige him when Fish grabbed his arm.

"No, look."

Butcher landed on her perch long enough to drop the sheet of paper and bite Jeff's hand. Jeff picked up the paper. It was headed, 'HIGH FLYIN' HARDY!' Scott rested his crutches and himself on Jeff's bed and read the note aloud. "Jeff Hardy: famous wrestler/ dare devil is going to jump from the top of S l d (sigma lambda delta) tomorrow during the a a a (alpha alpha alpha) sorority house picnic. IN THE NUDE!!! Bring your cameras. Please recycle."

"Wow you're screwed!"

"Fish. Dude you're not helping."

Jeff rolled his eyes.

"Wait there's more!"

Jeff grasped Fish's hand, "if you don't stop him I'll kill him."

Fish shook himself from Jeff's hand and stepped back. "I'm not gonna stop you."

Jeff sighed and lay back, "you might as well read it."

Scott started laughing, "boys. Our plan may have changed." He was now laughing hysterically. Fish looked at Jeff and mouthed 'we had a plan?' Jeff shrugged. He sat up and plucked the note out of Scott's hand.

"The conditions of your jump are quite simple. You are unallowed to hold, carry or have any contact with anything but the air from the time your feet leave the roof to the time you touch the ground. At which point you and/or your miserable, disgusting friends may shield whatever little manhood you actually possess. Good riddance."

Fish laughed. Scott laughed. Jeff cringed, "I'm a dead man."

Scott shook his head, "nah, dude. You can't think about it like that. Am I right, man?"

"Yeah," Fish agreed, "you're not dead yet."

Jeff banged his head against the wall. Scott cuffed Fish, "you are not helping. Go…now."

Jeff hung his head in despair, "I am so fucked right now!"

Scott nodded, "you do seem to up a certain creek without a certain implement."

No sooner had the door closing heralded Fish's exit then the little bastard was back.

"I'm a genius." He rushed over and muttered in Jeff's ear.

Jeff jumped to his feet and kissed him, "you've got it!!"

Scott's face was pure gold, "well if he's got it, you've got it too now."

Jeff snatched the note and trembled as he read it again, " 'from the time your feet leave the roof to the time you touch the ground.' Don't you see? Don't you get it?"

Scott hopped up on his crutches, "I tell you what. I'm going to walk out of this room. Stay with me because this is where it gets complicated. Then I'm going to walk into my room and pretend I never met the pair of you."

"But!"

"No, I'm going to lie down and have a nap."

"But"

"NO! Goodbye." Scott slowly hobbled out and into his room. Both doors closed quietly. Jeff smiled at Fish, "I'll scope out the jump."

Fish flashed a 'thumbs-up' sign at him and started to walk away, "I'll get the props."

13:15 PM

A crowd had started to gather outside S l d particularly the a a a girls. Jeff was standing on the roof (wearing a robe) with Fish.

"I've never seen so many cameras."

"FISH!"

"Sorry."

Jeff scanned the large crowd. "I can't believe I'm saying this but where's Lisseth? I want her to see me jump!"

Fish shoved him, "anything you feel like telling me about you and Lisseth?"

Jeff narrowed his eyes, squinting into the sunlight.

"She's the reason I'm up here. She's the one that dared me to. She might have bloody well turned up."

Fish shrugged, "one less witness, one less camera."

Jeff nodded not meeting Fish's gaze, "true. Very, very true."

Fish started hopping up and down, "I'm going to get her."

"NO!" Jeff grabbed for his arm but Fish was already gone.

*BANG BANG*

"Sod off!"

Fish opened the door and instinctively ducked, he really should of stayed down 'cos when he raised his head a really big book left it's imprint rather rudely in the front of it. He waved aside the 'ouch! What kind of psychopath throws a book' speech and cut to the chase.

"Aren't you going to watch Jeff crash and burn?"

She barely looked up from the address book she was thumbing through.

"The semester is still young. There will be plenty of opportunities to see him embarrass himself yet."

Fish rejoined Jeff on the roof.

"Anything good?"

"She wished you luck."

They both scanned the crowd. Jeff inhaled deeply.

"She threw something at you didn't she." It was not a question.

"Yep."

Jeff nodded and raised his eyebrows.

"Hit you?"

" 'tween the eyes."

Jeff looked at him.

"You don't say."

Fish looked at him.

"Yep."

Jeff held his hands out. A hush descended on the crowd. He motioned for Fish to get the prop box. Fish held up a sign that said, 'DON'T TRY THIS IN HOME EC.' A couple of girls at the front giggled. Jeff's hands loosened the robe and everyone leaned forward. Fish threw him a large coconut as the robe dropped. Jeff crossed himself, looked at the open sky above. He needed to get the crowds attention before he jumped so he took a deep breath, then another and yelled at the top of his lungs,

"I DID YOUR MOM!"

The instant his feet left the roof, he let go of the coconut and sure enough just as Fish had predicted the coconut stayed positioned in front of him as he smiled for the cameras. Jeff felt like he was falling in slow motion. He passed the window of the room he and Lisseth shared and distinctly heard a woman gasp. He looked down the ground was approaching slowly it was like being in a dream. Jeff's feet hit the floor and he allowed the momentum to continue until he was crouching. The coconut hit the concrete and exploded, drenching his chest in coconut milk. Jeff absentmindedly grabbed the largest piece and held it in front of his equipment.

As he stood, Fish hurled a broken sign with a strap on it through the air. It landed at Jeff's feet he picked it up and slung it around his neck. He took off down the path, around the corner and up the stairs feeling the exit sign hitting his butt all the way up. He cast the sign off and ran into the room, turning to shut the door. He stayed still and listened. A massive cheer rose up from the crowd, it was almost deafening. He closed his eyes, turned around and raised his arms to silence the crowd, momentarily forgetting that he was inside and the crowd was outside.

"JEFFREY NERO HARDY! WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING TO THAT COCONUT!"

Jeff again used the coconut to shield himself. His eyes shot open, he could see Lisseth looking very smug but his attention was more directed towards.

"LITA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

Lita wasn't alone. She was standing next to that strapping young man that Jeff knew so well. "Hi Matt…what are you doing here."

Matt looked at him, "I know what I'm doing here but Jeff what are you doing?"

Jeff looked at his crotch, now he understood why Lisseth looked so smug. He had his gonads nestled in a coconut shell and it was dripping a sort of white liquid. He looked up at Matt again.

Matt gave him that big brother 'I know what you've been doing look.'

Lita looked sick.

Lisseth glanced in her direction, "told you so."

There was a knock at the door.

"COME IN." lisseth called.

Jeff spun in shock, "no don't…"

The door slowly opened to reveal…

TBC