Mwa ha! We have reached the infamous marooned chapter! I say 'infamous', because
1) in my mind it's already infamous;
2) from the sounds of it, people have been looking forward to this chapter;
3) any other fanfic I've read with the marooned scene in it has been bloody hilarious (Whoo, hoo! Lyssa!);
And...4) It's the bloody funniest scene in the movie!
With that in mind.....enjoy!
Quicksilvermad: Yes, cliffhangers are good literary devices! Even if they do make us want to strangle the author! Thanks!
Huntress16: Yeppers. Hellcat. It was a derogatory term for someone with far too much attitude for their own good. :) Sounds accurate.
Tabby Kitten: Aww...thanks. You even have faith in me? *happy rum dance* Whee! *huggles*
Oh.....and.....honestly. I do not own the bloody freaking movie, already!
***********
"That's the second time I've had to watch that man sailing away with my ship."
I coughed up seawater, and stumbled onto the beach in my soaked and altogether too heavy dress. Jack strode onto the sand, pulling off the ropes around his wrists. I held my bound wrists forward in a silent plea, and he paused, turning back to fumble with the knot.
"But you were marooned on this island before, weren't you?" Elizabeth put her hands on her hips, glaring at him. "So we can escape in the same way you did then."
Jack glanced up from the knot to fix dark khol-lined eyes at the other girl. "To what point and purpose, young missy? The Black Pearl is gone, and unless you have a rudder and a lot of sails hidden in that bodice, unlikely, young Mr. Turner will be dead long before you can reach him." He gave the knot one final yank, and the ropes finally fell away.
"Thanks," I murmured, then jumped as he set a hand on my arm.
"Are you alright, luv?" I looked up, slowly, to see his brows furrowed, as he looked at me carefully. "They didn't hurt you, did they?"
"No," I lied, hoping the multiple slaps across the face weren't going to bruise. Then I forced a smile. "Is there any food, on this island?"
"Even better," he grinned, and I followed as he set off into the trees.
Elizabeth, unfortunately, followed too. "But you're Captain Jack Sparrow! You vanished from under the eyes of seven agents of the East India Company. You sacked Nassau Port without even firing a shot. Are you the pirate I've read about, or not? How did you escape last time?"
"Last time....I was here for a grand total of three days. Last time..." he bent, and opened a door under the sand. Hopping down the steps, he called back, "The rum runners used this island as a cache. Came by, and I was able to barter a passage off. From the looks of things, they've long been out of business. Probably have your bloody friend Norrington to thank for that."
I leaned over, peeking down into the hole, and I had to grin as Jack emerged, and waggled three bottles of rum in the air. "Jack, are you suggesting that we all get drunk?"
He smirked. "Can't think of a way I'd rather spend the time with you lovely ladies."
"I could," I smirked, and laughed at the way that raised Jack's eyebrows.
"Oh, really?" He grinned, and this was just really starting to get fun when Elizabeth, again, interrupted in a huff.
"So that's it then? That's the secret grand adventure of the infamous Jack Sparrow ? You spent three days lying on a beach, drinking rum?!"
"Welcome to the Caribbean, luv." He sashayed his hips in an interesting variation of a tango, and handed her one of the bottles of rum.
"What, and I don't get properly welcomed?"
I had to ask it. Elizabeth gave me a scandalised look, and marched off to the beach. Jack, eyebrows encroaching on his forehead again, smirked. "What, finally warming up to me?"
I shrugged. "I'm marooned with you, aren't I?"
He threw back his head and laughed, gold teeth flashing. "That, luv, you are." Then he took a step towards me, bowed, and took my hand. Kissing the back of it, he looked up to grin. "Welcome to the Caribbean, luv."
"Much better," Grabbing a bottle of rum, I headed after Elizabeth to the beach, Jack following, humming a slightly off-key rendition of "A Pirate's Life For Me".
***
Let me warn you. I had never, never, in my 19 years, drunk anything alcoholic. And now here I was, marooned on a tiny island with a grouchy female pining for her lost love, a bloody sexy pirate captain, and what seemed at the moment to be a limitless supply of rum.
I'd say that those were ideal drinking conditions.
A bonfire was burning on the beach, throwing cheery red light onto the pristine sand, we had no food, but plenty of rum, and I had lost pretty near all my inhibitions. In fact, at that moment, I was giggling - me, giggling?! - as Jack, Elizabeth, and I danced around the bonfire. I had shed the dress and corset, deciding that they were much too uncomfortable, much to Elizabeth's horror, but I assured her that I was still perfectly descent because I was still wearing all the blasted underclothes. Jack agreed with me. I think she would have tried to take the dress back from me, had I not pointed out that it was now bloodstained, ripped, covered with grim and sea-salt, and beyond any repair or use of decency. So I tossed it on the fire, grabbed Jack's hands, and spun around the fire, laughing.
"We're devils, and black sheep, and really bad eggs! Drink up me 'earties, yo, ho! Yo, ho, yo, ho, a pirate's life for me!"
"I love this song!" I yelled, stumbling, and grabbing Jack's arm to keep my balance, unsteady as it was. "We pillage, and plunder, and don't give a hoot!"
"Really bad eggs! Woo." Jack laughed, and sank to the beach. Discovering my support gone, I managed a few steps of a half-ways version of what I had titled 'Jack's Happy Rum Dance' before I got my feet tangled up in the under-skirts, and tripped again, this time nearly collapsing onto Jack's lap. I rectified that problem immediately, and crawled the rest of the way onto his lap, resting my head on his chest. Seeming not to find this a problem, the hand without the rum bottle strayed up to stroke my hair as he continued, "When I get the Pearl back, I'm gonna teach it to the whole crew, and we'll sing it all the time!"
Sounding out of breath, Elizabeth sat beside him. "And you'll be positively the most fearsome pirate in the Spanish Main."
"No," I murmured, enjoying my snuggle against Jack. "He'll be the best bloody fearsome pirate in the whole wi' wo'ld!"
"That's right, luv." He nodded, patting my head. "Wherever we want to go, we'll go. That's what a ship is, you know. It's not just a keel, and a hull, and a deck, and sails. That's what a ship needs, but what a ship is…what the Black Pearl really is…is freedom."
"Jack, it must really be terrible for you to be trapped on this island." Elizabeth tried to sound sympathetic, but to my ears, she failed miserably.
"Oh, yes." Jack shifted positions, and I let out a little sound of complaint, until I discovered that he was moving so he could slide an arm around my waist. "But the company is infinitely better this time, I think."
"It'd better be, darn it." I muttered, and reached up to twirl the left side of his mustache with my fingers.
"And the..." he paused, then grinned. "The scenery has definitely improved."
In the movie, I knew that this cued Elizabeth's silly little 'I don't think I've had enough rum for that kind of talk,' but right now, I somehow doubted she planned on playing that particular line. I, however...
"Captain Sparrow," I sat up a little, leaning back and running a hand through my hair, which had become decidedly tangled, having fallen out of its bun somewhere between the rum chest and Isle de Meutre. "Are you quite sure that you've gotten enough rum into me to be talking like that?"
Elizabeth gasped, and shot a furious glare at Jack. "Now look what you're doing, Jack! You've got the girl drunk! She's not acting herself!"
"Now see here," I pointed at her, before pausing to take another swig out of my nearing empty bottle. "I am not a girl, I am an adult, and can't be much younger than you. Second, if I want to be drunk and act like a bloody pirate, I think I should be allowed to do that. Third," I paused to empty out the bottle, holding out my tongue to catch the last few drops. "Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken."
Jack grinned. "See? She's not broken."
"Jack, don't you dare try to take advantage of her!" Somehow, none of her anger seemed to be focussed at me. She seemed much more content to aim all her condemnation at Jack, who had nothing to do with it, really, besides providing the rum, and then being an exceedingly attractive target.
"Never." He said firmly, and I nodded, returning to my snuggle against his chest.
Elizabeth let out a sound of disgust, and pushed herself off the sand, retreating towards the trees, leaving her still almost full bottle of rum lying on the sand. "Mm, rum." I grinned, and leaned forward to grab it, almost pitching headfirst into the sand in the process.
Jack caught me, laughing. "Maybe you have had a little much, luv. Have you not drunk before?"
"Nope." I said cheerfully, fighting with the cork Elizabeth had somehow managed to stuff back into the mouth of the bottle. "And y'know, it tastes a lot better than I thought it would."
Jack laughed. "And I assume that that's good thing, luv?"
I paused. "Not really. Now I'm gonna want to drink it again." I frowned. "And then it could be a bad thing."
"Right," he laughed, as I turned to gripping the cork between my back teeth, tugging on it. "Would you like a hand, luv?"
"Oh, would you?" I held the bottle forward, and he reached an arm around me in order to have both hands available for tugging on the stubborn cork. It was rather comforting, snuggled in his arms as he attempted to open a bottle of rum for me. What a gentleman!
"'Ere we...whoops." The cork finally popped out, but with such force that the precious liquid splashed over his hands.
"Aww..." I pouted, taking the bottle, and looking forlornly at the lowered level. "It spilled."
"Is alright, luv. There's plenty where that came from."
"Seems like an awful waste," I frowned, then grinned. Grabbing his cupped hand, I lifted it to my face, and licked it.
"What're you doing now, luv?" Jack's eyes were wide, as though the climbing in his lap and snuggling into him were one thing, but licking rum off his hand was quite another.
"Can't waste it," I said practically, licking off his thumb. "You taste like the ocean."
"Do I now?" He still sounded mildly startled.
"Mm-hmm." Deciding that I had salvaged as much as I could from his knuckles, I leaned back against his chest, listening to his heart as his chest rose and fell with his breathing. "I think...I think I'm drunk, Jack."
He laughed, his chest rumbling. "I think you're right, luv."
"Mm." I lifted my head again, tilting my head to one side to look at him. "Did you know that you're the first man who's ever paid any attention to me, Jack?"
"Is that so?" He grinned, and suddenly laid back in the sand, hands behind his head.
"Mm-hmm." I lay down too, chin on my hands, hands on his chest. "Why?"
"Why what?" He lifted his head, looking surprised.
I hesitated, then laughed. "I forget. Boy, I am drunk!" Squirming forward, I leaned down, kissed his chin, then rolled off his chest onto the sand. "I'm sleepy."
"Side effect." His arm wrapped back around me, and I snuggled into his side, reaching up to curl my fingers in his shirt. "You alright, luv?"
"Never better," I murmured, and for the first time in my life, promptly passed out.
***
My head hurt. Frowning, I opened my mouth, working my tongue around, trying to rid it of the dry my-mouth's-stuffed-with-cotton-balls feeling. "Yuck," I murmured, wincing when I tried to open my eyes. "Turn out the light," I muttered, snuggling my head deeper into my pillow....wait a minute. That was not a pillow.
Cracking open my eyes again, I found myself staring at a white shirt. A white shirt that was, currently, being worn by a sleeping body.
"Oh dear," I whispered, tilting my head back to see just whose torso I was pressed into. Ah, Jack's. Well, that was alright, then. Yawning, I snuggled back into my comfortable position, fully determined to sleep what appeared to be my first hang-over off.
However, my 'pillow' suddenly started moving, and I whimpered as the arm wrapped around my waist was moved, and Jack sat up. Opening one eye, I looked up at him, frowning. "You were comfortable."
He blinked. "Something's burning."
Turning around, a horrified expression crossed his face, and he scrambled to his feet, leaving me with absolutely no excuse to remain lying on the sand, so I, too, sat up. This end of the island appeared to be on fire, and Elizabeth, throwing a barrel on the flames, seemed only to be making the matter worse.
"No! Not good! Stop! Not good! What are you doing? You burned all the food, the shade, the rum!"
"You burned all the rum?" I yelped, wincing as that hurt my already pounding head, and staggered to my feet.
"Yes, the rum is gone." Elizabeth seemed far too calm, considering that the rum was now all on fire.
"Why is the rum gone?" Jack sounded like he was in shock.
"One, because it is a vile drink that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels. Two, you got that poor girl completely drunk! Three, that signal is over a thousand feet high. The entire Royal Navy is out looking for me, do you really think that there is even the slightest chance that they won't see it?"
"But why is all the rum gone?" Jack protested.
Elizabeth sat down firmly on the beach, staring out at the horizon. "Just wait, Captain Sparrow. You give it one hour, maybe two, keep a weather eye out, and then you will see white sails on that horizon."
Jack waved his hands in the air for a moment, then yanked the pistol out of his belt. He pointed it at Elizabeth's back for a moment, before shaking his head and stuffing it back in its place. Then he spun, and, to my surprise, grabbed my arm. Dragging me along with him, he growled, "Let's move, luv."
"Jack?" I asked in surprise, stumbling to keep up with his longer strides. "Where are we going?"
"Away from her corrupting influence, that's where!" Grumbling, he muttered, "Maybe one bottle missed her."
"Was that...the only cache on the island?" I asked, hurrying forward a few steps so I could grab a hold of his arm, trying to steady my still awkward footsteps.
"Yes." He did not sound happy. "'Must've been terrible for you to be trapped here, Jack. Must have been terrible for you.'" He imitated Elizabeth, swinging his free hand in the air. "Well, it bloody is now!"
Wincing, I hated to break into his tirade, but I poked him awkwardly in the ribs, and pointed out into the crystal aqua waters. "Jack....there's the Dauntless."
He sighed, finally drawing us to a halt. "There'll be no living with her after this."
***********
Mwa ha! Well, was that infamous enough? Review!!!!! Flame me if you must, but review, dagnabbit!
150!!