Disclaimer: Ok, ok! I don't own Gundam Wing! *cries*
I also don't own eggo's, the beatles, Sesame Street or anything else that comes up in this chapter.
Finally! I have gotten my precious computer back! I can update all of my stories! I hope you guys didn't give up on any of them. Ignore any typos!
Duo Got A Job Part 2
*Static*
Commercial: (two people are sitting bordely watching the TV)
Tim: Gosh Jan, I'm sick and tired of this late night programming.
Jan: I know Tim. It's just not funny. That Jay Leno is ugly and David Letterman is just... weird.
Tim: I guess we should give up.
(TV begins to glow as the two look on stupidly amazed. Duo pops out.)
Duo: Hey you two nimrods! If you're tired at laughing at people with big chins and a huge gap in their teeth, then come watch my new show, Late Night With Duo Maxwell!
Tim: (amazed) Wow! What's Late Night With Duo Maxwell?
Duo: Well you stupid *BEEP*, Late Night With Duo Maxwell is a very good show that is so great, your tiny little brain can't possibly comprehend what it's all about! So just watch it!
Jan: (dreamily) I rather watch you all day.
Duo: You and me both honey. (looks at the camera) So if your sleep deprived, an idiot, have mental problems, have some kind of fetish with people with long braids or just plain bored, turn it on Channel 3 and laugh out hard!
Tim: (smiling) Wow! Late Night With Duo Maxwell is a hit!
Duo: You bet your ugly face it is!
*Static*
*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*
This is WTHIT Network. We're apologize for the delay. We now return to regular programming.
Announcer: WELCOME BACK TO-
Audience: Late Night With Duo Maxwell!
Announcer: Now here's your host, Duo Maxwell!
(claps, cheers, and whistles are given as light showers on Duo sitting at his desk with a chocolate IV connected to his arm.)
Duo: Howdy! Sorry everyone, I didn't mean to scare you.
Sylvia: (making gestures with her hands) This close! This freakin' close!
Trowa: I know honey, I know.
Duo: (angry) I would've died too! These stupid pansies that I now regret calling my friends, didn't bother to help me when I was in disstress!"
Trowa: (yawning) I'm sorry, were you in danger?
Sylvia: I thought you were just doing another one of your stupid stunts, I mean, chocolate failure? Does that really exsist?
Duo: Obviously!
Trowa: (shrugs) Who knew?
Duo: (looks at Relena) And what's your excuse?
Relena: For what?
Duo: (angry) For not helping me!!!
Relena: (blinks) Um.... I was fixing my hair?
Duo: ...
Audience: *cough*
(crickets chirp)
(light goes on infront of the studio audience: BOO!)
Audience: BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Duo: (annoyed) A little too late for that audience!!!
(Light: Go, We're Sorry!)
Audience: We're sorry!
Duo: (smiling) Ok, I forgive you.
Sylvia: You forgive them but you don't forgive us?
Trowa: As if we cared.
Duo: They apologized!
Sylvia: Because a stupid light told them to! They don't mean it!
Duo: Shows what you know! Why would anyone listen to a light? Lights can't talk!
Sylvia: Ask them then!
Duo: No!
Sylvia: Bastard!
Duo: Bitch!
Trowa: (bangs his head against Duo's desk)
Duo: Stop that Trowa! This desk is made from a very rare tree!
Trowa: (observing the desk) It said it's made from oak.
Duo: It still a rare tree.
Trowa: Oak trees are everywhere!!!
Duo: No they're not!
Trowa: (rubbing his head) Make it end!
Duo: Anyways, I would have died if it hadn't coincidentally been for our next guest, Doctor Sally Po!
(Sally comes out waving)
Sally: (sitting on a chair next to Duo) Thank you all!
Duo: No, thank you Sally. You saved my life!
Sally: (modestly) Aw, it was nothing!
Sylvia and Trowa: (desperately) Why couldn't you just let him die?!!!
Sally: ... huh...?
Duo: Ignore them. So Sally, tell us what you do for a living besides save people.
(audience laughs)
Sally: Actually Duo, that's exactly what I do for a living. I save people.
Duo: No kidding?
Sally: (nodding) I am a preventer after all.
Duo: (points to Wufei) From what we've seen, Preventers aren't really good with their jobs.
(audience snickers)
Sally: No, just Wufei.
(audience laughs)
Duo: Well isn't that the sad truth. Stupid Chinese guy.
Sally: Duo, don't you think that's a bit racist?
Duo: No, I just don't like Chinese guys with the name Wufei Chang.
Sally: Oh.
Sylvia: Heero's moving!
Duo: Say wha?
Audience: Wha?
Duo: Not you! I just- Oh never mind!
Heero: (moving around a bit) ... damn! What happened?
Duo: Relena knocked you the *BEEP* out!
Trowa: With one punch amazinly.
Sylvia: Kind of funny when you think about it.
Relena: Jack ass.
Heero: (sitting up and rubbing his jaw) Really? Is that true Relena?
Relena: (looking away) Yes! You pissed me off so I had to do something about it!
Heero: (shinning in his eyes) No one had ever knocked me out before. Wow! I knew I loved you!
Relena: (going soft) You mean it? You, loved me?
Heero: (taking her hands into his) No Relena, I LOVE you.
Relena: (blushing) Really? I thought you hated me.
Heero: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, I didn't mean to make you cry, I didn't want to hurt you. I'm just a jealous guy.
Relena: That's so sweet.
Duo: Is't that what that Lennon guy sang-
Relena & Heero: SHUT UP DUO!
Duo: Sheesh...
Heero: Relena, would you do me the honor and...
Relena: Yes?
Trowa & Sylvia: (looking passively)
Heero: And pilot my gundam?
(everyone anime falls minus Trowa and Sylvia)
Trowa: You didn't really think he'd ask her did you?
Sylvia: Morons.
Relena: (a bit disappointed but shrugs) Well, it's a start. Yes! I will pilot your gundam with you!
(A/N: If anyone found that in a gross way, you got one sick mind!)
(Light: Go AWW!)
Audience: AWW!
Heero: Come out, let's get out of here and have some fun destroying some colonies.
Relena: Ok!
(Heero and Relena run off)
Sylvia: Hey! How come they can leave?!
Duo: Cause I said so- Hey wait! Miss Bitch is right! Stop them!
Tony: Too late, they're long gone.
Duo: Damn it! what do I pay you guys for?!
Tony: You don't.
Duo: (rolling his eyes) Ok, what does the STUDIO pay you for?
Tony: They don't.
Duo: You mean you work here for free?
Tony: No, I was just black mailed into working this show.
Crew: We all were!
Duo: (blinking) Oh.
Sally: (yawn) This is getting bor-
Duo: (covering Sally's mouth) If anyone ever says that word again, I swear on my gundam, you'll never come on my show again and you'll regret it.
(Trowa and Sylvia's face lighten up)
Duo: And if you two say it, I'll make you do this show for eternity!
Sylvia: You can't make us do it!
Duo: Oh yeah? (points to some of the crew)
Crew: (standing behind the cameras with tranqulizers, ropes, stingers and nets)
Duo: And we have cages in the back,. If you try to run, you'll be here again tomorrow night!
Trowa & Sylvia: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Duo: Losers.
Quatre: AHHHHHHHHHH!!
(everyone jumps.)
Trowa: Quatre's alive!
Sylvia: Damn it! Why won't these people die!
Sally: If I may say so, I thought we were talking about me. Am I wrong? I was the guest!
Quatre: I need a beer...
Duo: We'll be right back after these commercial messages.
Announcer: Late Night With Duo Maxwell is brought to you by, Demented Ego Eggo! From the creators of Eggo, they bring you a demented delicious taste of Ego Eggo to your mouth! That's Demented Ego Eggo! Leggo my Eggo you son of a bitch! *-demented ego eggo's may cause you to hurt, kill and/ or damage other human beings-*
(A/N: try saying ego eggo 3 times fast. Whoever can do it will get a cookie!)
Commercial: (a bunch of zombies are attaking a family home banging on the door and windows)
Father: Oh god! Help!
Mother: What's going on?!
Little boy: It's all her fault!
Little Girl: All I did was take the grave keepers breakfast! (holds up a box of Demented Ego Eggo's with a Serial Killer on the box)
Zombie: Give us the Ego Eggo's you little whore!
Little Girl: Never!
Grave Keeper: Have it your way! Kill them!
Mother: For goodness sake, give them the damn egos!
Little Girl: But mom, Demented Ego Eggo's are filled with a moist inside. (cuts to pictures of an eggo waffle popping out of a toaster then put on a plate with butter and syrup being poured on while little girl talks) It taste just like a regular eggo only with more zing! It's healthy and it's a good source of protein and calcium. All the nutrients you need for a complete breakfast.
Mother: I don't care if it's farts out cash! Give them the damn waffles!
Father: It's too late! They broke the glass!
Family: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
(cuts to the outside of the house with zombies still going in. Grave keeper eating an Ego Eggo on a plate looking at the camera)
G.K.: They're so good, you'd KILL to have them.
(family can be heard screaming)
Family: Oh sweet mother- ah! My arm! Why didn't you give them the Eggos!
G.K.: Make Demented Ego Eggo's part of your breakfast.
(cut to the little girls deattached arm holding the box with a zombie looking at her)
Zombie: Leggo my eggo bitch! (kicks the little girl.)
Next Commercial:
(a lonely man is sitting on the couch listnening to sad music. A guy in a suit appears next to him)
Man In the Suit: (shaking his head out of pity) Are you depressed?
(Man on the couch nods)
M.I.T.S: Lonely? Afraid others don't like you? Hungry? A virgin?
(man nods again)
M.I.T.S: Sounds like you need Presto!
Man: What's Presto?
M.I.T.S: It's a stimulate that makes you funner to be around all the while slowly killing you!
Man: (jumps up and down) Wow! I want some Presto!
M.I.T.S:(smiling) Well too bad. Only important people can have it!
Man: (sadly)But then why did you-
M.I.T.S: (pushing the man down) Shut up Sparky. That's Presto! It makes you be the sqaure of any circle!
Man: That makes no sense.
M.I.T.S.: Just like your life. Presto is made from animal mucus and cow dung, but don't let that scare you off. Once you have a wiff of this, people will actually start to love and hang out with you. The dung causes the brains of those around you to go hay wire, so that they think losers are cool! All for the small price of $178,898.99! Call now and get a robe, abosolutely free!
Man: That doesn't sound like a deal.
M.I.T.S: Hey loser, shut up and I'll give you one for free. Anyways, call in the next minute and get a second case of Presto half price! That's Presto. If that's not a deal, I don't know what is!
Man: Can I have a case now?
M.I.T.S: (laughing) Heh, heh. No!
Man: But you said-
M.I.T.S: (chuckling) I say alot of things.
Call 1- 800- 12345-65780- Presto- ext. 40
Annoucer: Welcome back to-
Audience: Late Night With Duo Maxwell!!
(lights dim and show Sally sitting at Duo's desk)
Sally: Hi everybody. During the break, your host Duo Maxwell, decided to go out and run around for a segment he likes to call Maxwell Town . We'll show you the tape soon enough, but first, Duo asked me to invite yet another guest on the show. Everyone please welcome, Hilde Schibecker, uh Sheeshkicbec, damn. How do you say her last name? (shrugs) Everyone welcome Hilde!
Audience: (clapping and whistling)
(Hilde walks out confused and afraid)
Hilde: What's going on? Where's Duo?
Sally: That's not impotant now, what we want to talk about is you!
Hilde: (blushing) Wh-why me?
Sally: (shrugging) I haven't the slightest clue.
Hilde: What's wrong with you? I was all alone in that room when they took Dorthy away a few minutes ago!! Where's Wufei? Where's Trowa and Sylvia? And Quatre and Heero?
Sally: Who gives a damn! I'm suppose to be asking you questions!
Hilde: (surprised) Sorry!
Sally: So Hilde, what do you do for a living?
Hilde: Well I-
Sally: Oh, too late! It's now time for-
Audience: Maxwell Town !!
Sally: Let's watch the tape that our host Duo, finished so far then go live to where he is. Roll that tape Lenny!
Hilde: What about me?
Sally: What about you?
Lenny: It's on!
Tape:
(Duo is out with Quatre, Trowa and Sylvia near a building. All are wearing winter clothes)
Duo: Hello, we just arrived on Colony XV1729977878, where right now, it's winter.
Quatre: Winter sounds like weiner and weiner sounds like my last name winner! (drinks a vodka)
Duo: How many vodkas have you drank Quatre?
Quatre: Five. Dare me to drive?
Duo: (ignoring him) Well I noticed that all of my friends are crazed wackos and alcoholics.
(Sally and audience members nod)
Duo: So I took it upon myself to get them some help. Come on everyone let's go inside!
Sylvia: About *BEEP* time!
Trowa: I'm freezing my ass off!
(all go into a building as Duo pulls the drunk Quatre to the front desk. A cute lady looks up.)
Lady: (looking at the camera uneasily) Uh, can I help you?
Duo: Yes, Alcoholics Anonymous? I'd like to register my friend into your program.
Lady: (smiling awkwardly) Huh... (points to a sign) This is AAA.
Duo: Oh... so you refuse to help him?
Sylvia: (rubbing her hands together) You took us all this way to Triple A?!
Duo: I thought it was Alcoholics Anonymous!
Trowa: I'm getting out of here! (tries to make a break for it)
(Duo and crew chase after him, leaving Quatre and Sylvia behind)
Duo: Get the tazors! Hurry!
(Tony gets a tranquilizer gun and takes aim)
Sylvia: (running up) Nooooooo!!
Duo: Fire!
(camera shows Trowa running through the snow)
BANG!!
(Trowa falls in the middle of the street)
Sylvia: (jumping on Duo's back and pulling his braid) You stupid *BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP* ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL HIM?! I'M GOING TO *BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP* KILL YOU!
Duo: (running around like a maniac) Oh god! Help me! Get her off! Get her off! She's crazy!
Tony: Get the rope!
Bill: Ow! She bite me!
Clyde: (gets the tazor) Hold still Mr. Maxwell!
(audience and Sally laugh)
Sally: Now that's entertainment!
Hilde: Oh my gosh!
Duo: You try holding still with this thing on ya!
Sylvia: HISSS!
Quatre: (walking infront of the camera) My bolonga has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R. MY-
Duo: Shut up Quatre!
Sylvia: GRRRR!!!
Clyde: I'm going in! (Sylvia grabs the tazor and beegins to shock Duo)
Duo: Ow! What the fu- Ow! Stop! (cries) Why won't you stop!?!!
Sylvia: (laughing crazy) HAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
BOOM!!
(Sylvia falls to the ground with Tony in back of her hold a base ball bat)
Duo: (catching his breath) Oh thank god. *deep breath* th-thank you Tony... I need water...
Tony: (giving Duo some water) No problem boss but you should get that cut checked.
Duo: (sweating) No *beep*. I think she may have given me rabies... (chugs water)
Quatre: Bye Trowa!
Duo: What?
(camera turns to see a snow plow shovel the snow off the street with Trowa in the pile)
Duo: (blinking) ...... huh.... hmm....
(cuts to a new atmosphere. Duo and Quatre wearing safari clothes are outside a zoo)
Duo: We just arrived on Colony 67 where we're standing outside the zoo!
Quatre: (Jumping up and down) I want to see the monkeys! I want to see the monkeys!
Duo: (chuckleing) Heh, heh. You ARE a monkey Quatre.
(cuts to Duo standing outside a cage)
Duo: I just made a donation to the zoo. It's first female panda! Let's have a look!
(camera zooms in on Wufei wearing a panda costume)
Audience: (laughing their heads off)
Hilde: Sally! Do something!
Sally: Ok. (gets up and gets some coffee)
Hilde: I can't believe you!
Sally: What? It's decaf.
Duo: Uh oh! Looks like the male panda just realized his new companion. Hey look Bill! He's trying to jump over him! Ha ha! That's so cute!
Bill: Uh, boss?(whispers something to Duo.)
(Duo's face goes grim)
Duo: Oh... um.. Let's go check on Quatre!
(Quatre runs by screaming)
Quatre: Run for your lives!!! AHHHHHHHHH!
Duo: (blinking) Uh, wasn't Tony watching him?
Clyde: Yeah...
(Tony runs by)
Tony: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
(Duo looks to his side and his eyes widened)
Duo: Oh *BEEP* ! RUN!
(everyone runs screaming. camera shows a bunch of animals running towards the crowd)
(cuts to a quiet park with a big white building)
Duo: (wearing a nice suit. Quatre is near by wearing a simular suit)
Duo: We're now at the Earth.
Quatre: (rubbing his head) I don't feel so good. (throws up)
Duo: Heh heh. That's called a hangover Quatre.
Quatre: oOoooOOooooooooOOOOOOoooooohhhhh...................
Duo: Anyways, we're outside St. Mary's Hospital for the seriously ill. As a 'concerned friend', I just admitted one of our guest to the hospital. Well, let's see if you guys can guess at who it was.
Audience: Sylvia!
Sally: Sylvia!
Hilde: (confused) Sylvia?
Duo: (shaking his head)No, no. Not even close. It's Sylvia Noventa!
Sally: (drinking her coffee)The problem with pre- taped gigs.
Duo: Let's go check on the little bundle of joy. Hey Clyde! What was it I told you earlier?
Clyde: Uh, all loonies come from the Earth?
Duo: Damn straight.
Quatre: (eyes a dark red) My head... I need an asprin... now... (faints)
Bill: Should we take him with us?
Duo: Nah! We'll get him later.
(Duo goes into the building. After a long walk, , a few elevators and a stop at the cafeteria, they arrive at a door)
Duo: This is room CL56, CL meaning Crazy Loon, and she rates a 56. Now, let's have a look inside. (opens a little flap to reveal a window that shows inside the room) Hello, hello!
(camera zooms into the room with soft pillow walls)
(Sylvia is rocking herself in a corner. She glances up and sees Duo)
Sylvia: (twitching) You... you...
Duo: On top of everyhing else, she can't form complex sentences.
Sylvia: (runs to the door and starts to tear at it) I'll kill you! I'll kill you!
Duo: (backing up) Whoa!!
Clyde: (pushes a button) I just called the nurses.
Duo: Should be fun.
Sally: That it will!
Hilde: Sally! How can you expoilt our friends like this?!
Sally: Um... Like this! Raise the volume will ya!
(a bunch of security guards run in and circle Sylvia)
R.S.G.: Now just calm down Miss Noventa!
Sylvia: No! He's the one! He should be in here! (twitches) He forgives the strangers but not us... He tortures us! The lights told them to apolgize, the lights! The freaking lights!
R.S.G.: (looking at Duo) Do you know what she's talking about?
Duo: (innocently) Why no! Why would I?
Sylvia: Liar! You... You killed Trowa...
Duo: (shrugging) Actually, we don't know if he's dead.
Tony: Boss, should we go get Quatre now?
Duo: Why?
Tony: (looking out the window Quatre breaks into a car and hot wires it. A loud car screech can be heard) No reason.
Sylvia: His show! He had us tied! The baseball bat... oh god! The baseball bat!
Tony: (shrugs)
Sylvia: It has to end! Wufei! The panda! (screams) I can't take it! (grabs the security guard's flash light) Everyone back off!
R.S.G.: Let's get out of here!
Duo: Don't you guys have guns?
R.S.G.: The freak on level four ate them.
Duo: I see.
Sylvia: Nobody move! I'll blind you with this flash light!
Duo: (rolling his eyes) Oh no. Whatever shall we do?
Sylvia: I'll do it! I'll do it! I'll-
BONk!
(Sylvia falls to the ground again with Tony behind her holding a baseball bat)
Duo: Thanks Tony!
Tony: No prob.
R.S.G.: Thanks for your help.
(cuts to Sylvia wearing a strait jacket, running into walls, screaming something about baseball bats and the company Triple A)
Duo: (to security guard) Hey um, how long you gonna keep her?
R.S.G: Um... maybe a week or two. Three months the most.
Duo: (secretly handing the guard a wad of money) You sure about that?
R.S.G.: (taking the bribe) Well, how long do you want her in here?
Duo: Maybe a few years, give or take. (hands him another wad of cash) Also, make sure she gets 'good medicine'.
R.S.G: (taking the money) Ok, you're the boss.
Duo: (smiling evily) You bet I am!
(cut to outside a circus to wear Duo's eating cotten candy)
Duo: We're at coincidentally, the same circus Trowa works at!
(Cathrine comes out of a tent)
Cathrine: Duo? What are you doing here? Trowa said he was going to visit at your new job.
Duo: (acting confused) Really? I haven't seen him!
Cathrine: But a limo came and picked him up! It had your name on the side of it.
Duo: Really? Talk about weird!
Cathrine: (a bit angry) You called and asked where to pick him up.
Duo: Oh... uh... RUN! (throws his cotton candy in Cathrines face and runs away)
(Cut to Duo hiding in the shadows)
Duo: I don't have much time so I'll make this quick. I just donated Dorothy Catalonia to the Freak Show part of the circus. Why? Because those eyebrows just ain't normal!
(camera shows Dorothy in a cage, tied to a chair, gagged and glaring at Duo)
Dorothy: meamm...mph... mhogjk!!!!
Duo: What's that Dorothy? Huh? Hehe. You stupid *BEEP*.
Cathrine: DUO!!
(camera turns to Cathrine across from them)
Duo: Damn it! What are you? Super woman?!
Cathrine: Where's my brother?! (throws a knife at them. Clyde gets hit)
Clyde: (eating a donut. looks at his wound and shrugs)
Duo: (wide eyed) Holy moly! What do you think your doing?! (takes a donut out of Clydes hand) Someone or something, could get hurt!
Cathrine: (throws another knife) Don't *BEEP* with me. Where's Trowa?
Duo: (scratching his head) I don't suppose saying I lost him will work with you?
Cathrine: (does Xena type scream and charges after them)
Duo: Every man for himself!! (takes off)
*static*
Sally: ( blinking) Uh... we'll be right back after these messages from our sponsors.
Annoucer: Today's program was brought to you by, Ghetto Street. Learn how to count your whores and spell your A B weeds! That's ghetto street, Bi-atch!
commercial: (cut to a very gangster looking Big Bird smoking some weed talking to Snuffy whom is sniffing something)
Big Bird: Yo, Snuff-man, what are you sniffing there?
Snuffy: (exhaling) Just some white s-*BEEP* that we call Cocaine. (white letters appear on the screen to show how cocaine is spelled)
Big Bird: Hey, man, how you spell that s-*BEEP*?
Snuffy: Dang, man, what do I mother f-*beep*in' look like? I ain't no teacher!
Big Bird: Fa sho?
Snuffy: Straight up.
(Cookie Monster comes by)
Cookie monster: Hey hey, you guys want cookies? Cookies! *twitches* Cookies! Cookies!
Snuffy: Yo, man, what's in that s-*BEEP*?
Cookie Monster: Weed! Cookie! *eye twitches* Cookie! Cookie!
Big Bird: Hey, give me some of that s-*BEEP*.
Cookie Monster: Yo mama! Cookie cookie!
(the Count comes up with Zoe at his side)
Count: (vampire accent) Now stand here on the corner and earn me some money, bitch!
Zoe: (lights a cigerette) Whatever jack ass.
Snuffy: Yo, man, she disrespecting ya.
Big Bird: Ya better show her who's boss, man.
Snuffy: Just in time too. What's tomorrows special number?
Count: Let's find out. Hey, little pimps and bitches, how many times must I slap Zoe until she shuts her mother f- *beep*in' mouth? (bitch slaps Zoe) One slap! Two slap! Three slap! Four slap! Five! Six! Seven!
Zoe: I'm sorry!
Count: (bitch slaps her again) Sorry what?
Zoe: Sorry master!
Count: Eight! Eight bitch slaps is the magic number!
Snuffy: Fizzle my nizzle dizzle. That's a lot of slaps!
Big Bird: Oh, F*Beep*! Drive by! Drive by!
(everyone drops to the ground as Elmo drives by in a car)
BANG! BANG! BANG!
Elmo: You can't touch this s-*BEEP* Hide bitch! Hide! hahahahhaha! (tickle me Elmo laugh and drives off)
Big Bird: Damn man! I hate the reds! Damn mother f-*beep*ers!
Count: Oh no! Snuffy's been shot!
Big Bird: No!
(cop sirens)
Count: F-*BEEP*! The cops! (grabs Zoe) Come on bitch!
Big Bird: But wha 'bout snuffy, man?
Count: Every pimp for himself!
Big Bird: No!
(freeze frame)
Big Bird voice: If you want to see if Snuffy makes it or if I leave him to die, watch tomorrows epizode of Ghetto Street. Six pacific time, nine eastern.
Snuffy: Man, that hurt's like a mother f-*BEEP*er.
Announcer: Now back to-
Duo: Hey! That's my line!
Announcer: Sorry man.
Duo: Alright. Go ahead and say it once.
Announcer: Now back to-
Audience: ...
Announcer: I said, now back to-
Audience: *cough*
Anouncer: Well, that's strange.
Bill: Sir? The lights' broken.
Announcer: Well, get the damn cue cards!
Tony: (holds up a Cue card)
Cue Card: Say Late Night With Duo Maxwell!
Audience: Late Night With Duo Maxwell!
Anouncer: Here's your Host, Duo Maxwell!
Duo: Well, I tell ya, Trowa's sister is one crazy bitch. We're getting close to the end of our show now-
Hilde: But I barely got to be in it!
Duo: So was Dorothy but you don't hear her complaining!
Hilde: (crossing her arms angry) She's at the circus, tied to a chair in a cage, GAGGED.
Duo: What's your point?
Hilde: Duo!
Duo: Hey, don't worry babe. I'll talk about you all on the next episode of- (points to the audience)
Audience: Late Night With Duo Maxwell!
Duo: Ya'll come back now, ya hear?
Sally: Deja vu...
(ending credits wih slide shots of Dorothy in a cage, Cathrine throwing knives, Trowa being plowed away, Sylvia tazing Duo, Quatre throwing up, Tony running from the animals, Clyde getting hit with a knife, Bill picking his nose, an old lady eating a pie and Relena punching Heero)
Announcer: On the next episode of Late Night With Duo Maxwell, Duo tries to look for Trowa, Sally takes to the street talking to former guest Dorthy Catalonia and Sylvia Noventa. And we'll talk with Hilde Shi-sheesh ca bob, damn! How do you say that last name? Uh, we'll talk to Hide, eventually. So long for now!
(cuts to Sylvia in the corner again)
Sylvia: ... the baseball bat... the baseball bat *cries* THE *BEEEEEEEEEEEEP*IN' BASE BALL BAT!!
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End of the story! You know, I like it so much, I just might make little episodes of it. What do you think? R&R, and I don't mean rest and relaxzation. See ya again soon!