Alright, well first of all thanks to everyone who reviewed - you all get a
cookie. Or, y'know, go and get yourselves one. =P
Hi MotherEarth, thanks for the comment - I do definitely take your point
about there being a lot of these parody scripts on ff.net. But since
outtakes are banned.well, options are kind of limited. Parody scripts are
just what I do, though the idea's not terribly original. Thanks anyway
though, I am doing my best to make this script entirely my own, i.e not too
similar to any others.
NEO follows the WHITE RABBIT TATTOO to a CLUB, where he skulks in a corner, seemingly trying to FOLD INTO HIMSELF.
TRINITY: Hello Neo.
NEO: Uh-huh.
TRINITY: Hey, look. I'm wearing a revealing outfit!
NEO: (uninterested) Hmm.
TRINITY: -_- I hacked a big computer system once.
NEO: Wow! Really?
TRINITY: You're in danger.
NEO: .Y'know, as chat-up lines go, that wasn't the greatest.
TRINITY: I know why you hardly sleep, live alone, eat takeout pizza every night and have an inability to communicate with people.
NEO:.Because I'm a geek?
TRINITY: You want to know what the Matrix is.
AUDIENCE:.As do we, damnit!
TRINITY: The answer is out there.
NEO: Well thanks, that's helpful. Bloody cryptic answers.
TRINITY: Just wait till you meet Morpheus.
NEO suddenly and unexpectedly WAKES UP.
NEO:..Talking computers. White rabbits. Me in a nightclub...I have GOT to cut back on the cheese before bedtime.
NEO'S WORKPLACE: predictably, a large software company.
BOSS: Late again, you worthless scum. Go sit in your pokey little cubicle and pretend to work.
FEDEX GUY: Hey, look! I have a FEDEX package!
NEO: Woo. Product placement.
He pulls out a NOKIA PHONE.
NEO: Woo. More product placement.
AUDIENCE:.OK seriously, what the hell is with the phones?
Predictably, it RINGS.
MORPHEUS: Neo. You're in danger. They're coming for you.
NEO: Great. Never get tired of hearing that.
MORPHEUS: If you want to escape, run, and keep low to the ground.
NEO RUNS skittishly around the office, crouching as much as possible, generally looking like a COMPLETE IDIOT.
NEO: Suuure. THIS won't attract attention.
MORPHEUS: You can escape from here. Bye now. *hangs up*
NEO: *looks at scaffolding* Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me.
He attempts to scale down the building at TERRIFYING HEIGHTS. Justifiably, he WIGS OUT.
NEO: Between police custody and certain death? I'll take these shade- wearing dudes.
NEO follows the WHITE RABBIT TATTOO to a CLUB, where he skulks in a corner, seemingly trying to FOLD INTO HIMSELF.
TRINITY: Hello Neo.
NEO: Uh-huh.
TRINITY: Hey, look. I'm wearing a revealing outfit!
NEO: (uninterested) Hmm.
TRINITY: -_- I hacked a big computer system once.
NEO: Wow! Really?
TRINITY: You're in danger.
NEO: .Y'know, as chat-up lines go, that wasn't the greatest.
TRINITY: I know why you hardly sleep, live alone, eat takeout pizza every night and have an inability to communicate with people.
NEO:.Because I'm a geek?
TRINITY: You want to know what the Matrix is.
AUDIENCE:.As do we, damnit!
TRINITY: The answer is out there.
NEO: Well thanks, that's helpful. Bloody cryptic answers.
TRINITY: Just wait till you meet Morpheus.
NEO suddenly and unexpectedly WAKES UP.
NEO:..Talking computers. White rabbits. Me in a nightclub...I have GOT to cut back on the cheese before bedtime.
NEO'S WORKPLACE: predictably, a large software company.
BOSS: Late again, you worthless scum. Go sit in your pokey little cubicle and pretend to work.
FEDEX GUY: Hey, look! I have a FEDEX package!
NEO: Woo. Product placement.
He pulls out a NOKIA PHONE.
NEO: Woo. More product placement.
AUDIENCE:.OK seriously, what the hell is with the phones?
Predictably, it RINGS.
MORPHEUS: Neo. You're in danger. They're coming for you.
NEO: Great. Never get tired of hearing that.
MORPHEUS: If you want to escape, run, and keep low to the ground.
NEO RUNS skittishly around the office, crouching as much as possible, generally looking like a COMPLETE IDIOT.
NEO: Suuure. THIS won't attract attention.
MORPHEUS: You can escape from here. Bye now. *hangs up*
NEO: *looks at scaffolding* Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me.
He attempts to scale down the building at TERRIFYING HEIGHTS. Justifiably, he WIGS OUT.
NEO: Between police custody and certain death? I'll take these shade- wearing dudes.