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Chapter Four: Balrogs, and Sleepovers, oh MY!

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Yoda led the FOTVCP (Fellowship of the Very Confused People) through the castle. After about ten minutes or so, he brought them into a very big room. But you know in reality, I really wasn't that big…

At the end of the Hall, the Princess Zelda sat in a throne that was visibly too small for her. She tried to squeeze her bottom into the seat, but gave up, and settled for sitting in the chair sideways. When Yoda was two feet away from her, she looked up. "Uh?"

"Visitors, you have." The Green Midget said.

Just then, she noticed the large group of people he had brought with him. "Like, oh my God!! Like, who are they?"

"Too many names, they have. Take a long time to tell you, it will." Yoda said.

"We're the Fellowship of the Very Confused People," Angie told her.

Zelda looked them all for a minute. Two minutes. Three minutes. "Okay!" she smiled, then looked at her visitors. She spotted Link immediately, and squealed in delight (sort of like a pig when its food is put out). "Oh my GOD! IT'S, like, LINK!"

She ran over to him and jumped into his arms. "Oh my GOD! You're, like, back!"

Link blinked. "Uhh… From what? CHICKEN FRIED RICE!"

"From, like, saving Hyrule," Zelda said. "That was, like, what you were sent to do?"

"I uh… was?"

"Yeah…" Zelda stared at him. "Where were you for, like, all this time?"

"I was…" Link looked around the room, trying to find some inspiration for an excuse. "I was… in… Indonesia! Helping…" He looked at Andrea's stuffed penguin. "Helping… the homeless penguins!"

Zelda continued to stare at him. "Indonesia? PENGUINS?! OH MY GOD, LINK!! How could you… Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like-"

She started to twitch. Then Link dropped her.

"Like, like, like, like, like, like, like-"*

One of the guards walked over to Zelda and dragged her out of the room by her wrists. He came back and blinked. "I must apologize for our Princess's… behavior. She tends to um… spazz out sometimes…"

"That's okay," Angie said. "I do that too, sometimes! ^_^"

"Yes… well," the guard said, turning around to everybody else. "is there anything I can do?"

"What do you mean, 'anything you can do'?" Andrea said. "Do you mean to imply that you want to 'help' us? But how can you help us, when we clearly need the help of that Valley Girl Princess of yours who is named ZELDA?!?! HUH?!"

Michelle knocked Andrea upside the head. Andrea immediately shut up.

"You really need to cut back on the Invader Zim, Andrea… --.--" Michee said.

Andrea looked at the floor. "I know…" she said, but immediately perked up. "But that's okay, because I've found a KNEW muse! It's Jhonen Vasquez- COMIC BOOKS RULE!!"

Andrea whipped out the Magic Notebook and started to scribble stuff down in it with the Magic Pen at an alarming rate.

THEN, there was a gigantic poof cloud some feet away. (A/N: come on, guys. GUESS what it is this time! ^_^ ) When the smoke cleared, a man of about twenty-eight with red hair appeared sitting at a desk with a half-finished comic strip on it.

The man looked up. "Hey! This isn't my basement!"

He turned around in his spin chair, and saw a group of strange people. "Who… who are you?"

Andrea smiled. "Aww… look Michee- he's confused…"

"Is that…" Michee said. " Jhonen?"

The red-haired man stared at them. "HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!"

"WHEE!" Andrea said. " AND he has special freak-out action!"

"He's not an action figure!" Michelle shouted.

Andrea looked at her Magic Notebook. "Not yet he isn't…"

"Put that Pen to that paper, and you die." Michee said.

"O_o"

Andrea put the Magic Pen and the Magic Notebook in her back pocket. Her head hung low as she walked over to Jhonen. She grabbed his arm and pulled him over to the door.

"Well, if Zelda can't help us right now, we should leave, right?" Andrea said. "What's the point of hanging around?"

"Well," the guard said, "If it is very important that you need to speak with Princess Zelda-"

"It IS!" Navi said.

"Then I can allow you all to spend the night here, in the castle, if you wish."

Everybody stared at him. Then they all looked at each other.

"Huddle up!" Angie shouted.

They all came together in one big huddle. Except for Jhonen, who still had no idea why he was where he was.

"Can we trust him?" Pippin asked.

"Of course you can," Yoda said.

"But how do we know that you all don't work for Sauron?" Gimli asked.

"Who?" Yoda said.

"Ignore him," Frodo said. "Should we stay, people?"

A slight murmur went around the huddle.

"Are we safe here, Mr. Frodo?" Sam asked.

Frodo looked at the floor. "I don't know…" He clutched the Ring on the chain around his neck. "This decision is too hard for me to decide…"

In unison, they all turned to Navi.

"What?" she said. "Why do always look at me?"

"Because you're the smart on in this group," Gandalf pointed out.

"You noticed?" Navi rolled her eyes.

"Uhhmm…" Gandalf looked around.

"Don't hurt yourself," Michee said to Gandalf.

Gandalf stared at her. "What…?"

Michelle rolled her eyes. "Never mind…"

"Are we staying or not?" Andrea said.

Navi started to sweat. "Umm…" She said. "Let's take a vote. All in favor of staying, raise your hand."

The little blue fairy looked around the group. Nobody raised their hand. "Okay… All in favor of leaving…"

Once again, nobody raised their hand.

Navi's face fell. "Okay…" she said. "All those who have no idea what I'm asking, raise their hand."

She looked at them all again. Gandalf slowly raised his hand halfway, then put it back down when Pippin shook his head.

"Okay…" Navi said once again. "I guess the intelligent people will decide."

She looked over at Jhonen, who was staring at the FOTVCP (Fellowship of the Very Confused People) still looking confused. "You."

Jhonen looked behind him.

"You." The fairy restated. "Come here."

Jhonen walked over to the fairy without saying anything.

"Do you think this is a safe place to spend the night in?" Navi asked him.

"That depends on what you call 'safe'," Jhonen said. "If you mean, it won't collapse on you in the middle of a game of Twitcher, then yes, its pretty safe."

He rubbed his chin. "But if you mean you won't be killed in the middle of the night by some psycho demon lady, then no…"

"HEY!" Andrea said. "Don't talk about Michelle that way!"

Everybody stared at her. There was a long awkward silence.

"Well, he shouldn't…" Andrea said.

"Or her," Jhonen said, pointing at Andrea.

"HEY!" Andrea shouted again.

Navi nodded. "Well, they're both pretty harmless…" She said. "So I think we should stay…"

"Then follow me," the guard said.

"Wait," Jhonen said. "What about me?"

"You can come too!" Angie said.

"NO!" Jhonen backed away from them all. "I need to get back to my basement! I have to finish this comic by the end of next week!"

Andrea and Michee gasped.

"He has to finish it!!" Michee said. "Then we can buy it when the comic book store get it in!"

"YES!" Andrea agreed. Then she pulled out her Magic Notebook. (CHING! Sparkle, Sparkle!) And she wrote something down in it with her Magic Pen. THEN- Jhonen Vanished into thin air, along with his desk, comic, and drawing utensils!

"He'll be back…" Andrea said.

Michee nodded.

"Why can't you just leave him alone?" Sam asked.

Andrea blinked. "Leave him alone?" She laughed. "Why would I do that? He's the creator of Invader ZIM! Johnny the Homicidal Maniac! SQUEE! And some other stuff that's really cool! If you read his stuff, you would probably bring him back too."

Sam shook his head. "You are one sad, strange, little girl. You know that, right?"

Andrea smiled. "Thank you! ^_^"

"Go now, I must." Yoda said. "Enjoy your stay here, at Hyrule Castle. Visit the gift shop, you must."

And then, Yoda left.

"THERE'S A GIFT SHOP?!" Angie shouted. "WHERE?! O_o"

Navi sighed. "You can visit the Gift Shop on the way out… —.— U"

"But I-"

"ON THE WAY OUT!!" Navi shouted.

Angie cowered in front of the angry fairy.

"Well then." She said. "We're will we be staying tonight?"

"Uhmm…" The guard said. "Follow me…"

Just then, there was a big "POOF!" in the hallway. And a few seconds later, a teenage girl walked in. She waved. "Hi, everybody ^_^"

Andrea waved. "HI Aerin!"

Aerin looked around. "So… Where are we?"

"In Zelda's Castle." Andrea told her. "Isn't that neat?"

"Awsome…" Aerin kept looking up at the ceiling. "So why am I here?"

"Because I promised you a cameo."

"Oh yeah ^_^U" She put a hand behind her head. "I forgot."

Aerin smiled at Navi in an evil sort of way. "I KNEW you were a girl all the time."

Navi nodded. "That's very nice…"

"Isn't it though?"

"Yeah…" Navi looked over at Michelle. "Do you think you can do the whole, 'Steal the Magic Notebook' thing and make her leave? She's freaking me out…"

"Alrready on it" Michee said. "and with that, Aerin disappeared with a loud "BOOM!"

Everybody stared at the last spot Aerin stood.

"You know," Andrea said. "You really have to stop doing that to our guests…"

"I was doing everyone a favor!" Michee said.

"Well," the castle guard said. "If you're finished here, I will show you to your room now."

The FOTVCP followed him out of the Hall, then into another hall, Michee and Andrea dragging the still-unconscious Aragorn behind them.

After walking down this hall, they took a right, and went up a case of stairs. At the top of the stairs, was another flight of stairs. They went down a couple more hallways, then up a few more flights of stairs.

After half an hour, they finally stopped in front of a door.

"Is this…" Merry panted. "The room?…"

The guard nodded.

"Good…" Pippin said. Holding onto his side.

Legolas looked at them all. "I don't see why you are all out of breath," he said. "It wasn't that far to walk…"

"Shut up, Elf Boy!" Merry said. "Some of are Hobbits! We're not as fit SOME people here!"

"Both of you shut up!" Navi said. Then she turned to the guard. "Can we go in?"

The guard shrugged. "Yeah… I guess so, yeah."

"LOOK!" Gandalf pointed at the door. "It's a DOOR!"

"That's um… Very nice, Gandalf…" Frodo said.

"THAT DOOR COULD BE WORKING FOR SAURON!!" Gimli shouted as he pulled out his axe. "KILL IT!!"

He threw his axe at the door. Then, all of a sudden, there was a loud wailing sound. The door came off its hinges, and then it ran past the group standing on the staircase. "Why does everyone SAY that?!" It cried.

Everybody stared at the door that was running down the hallway. Then the guard pulled out another door from a closet. "We loose more doors that way…" He said while he fixed the door in its place.

* * *

When the sun went down, and they were all settled in their sleeping bags, the FOTVCP realized something: They weren't tired!

So they sat up and said random things.

"Blue Ducks like to swim in trees," Pippin said.

"Oh yeah?" Angie said. "Well, cheese!"

"Pepto-Bismol!" Pippin shot back.

Angie gasped. "Oh no you didn't!"

"I think I just did," the Hobbit said smoothly.

"Yeah, well…" Angie looked around. "I can sing with my toes!"

Pippin blinked. "Prove it."

Angie stared at him. "Okay… well, I really can't…"

"HA!" Pippin laughed at her. "You can't top me!"

"I can SO!" Angie stood up, and clapped her hands once. "BOOM sha-kah-la-ka!"

Everybody stared at her.

"What was THAT?!" Michee said.

Angie looked around, then laughed. "Uhhh… I dunno…"

"When flowers bloom," Andrea said, "they go 'PAH!'"

"Really?!" Gandalf said.

"Yeah…" Andrea replied.

"Wow…" Angie said. "So THAT'S what I keep hearing outside my window at night…"

"ANGIE! SLOW!" Andrea said laughing. "Flowers don't bloom at NIGHT!"

Andrea picked up a nearby pillow and threw it at Angela. She screamed and fell to the floor. So instead of Angie getting hit with the pillow, Gimli did.

"WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!!" he shouted. Then he picked up a pillow and hit the person who was nearest to him- the unconscious Aragorn.

When Aragorn was hot in the face with the pillow, he immediately woke up. "CHICKEN!!"

Then he started to throw pillows at everybody in the room. Many people got hit. Then the Pillow Fight began to pick up. Feathers were flying! Andrea hit Michee. Gandalf hit Merry. Michee hit Frodo. Merry hit Gandalf, then Gandalf blew Merry up. Angie was knocked unconscious, and Gimli hid under the bed, while Legolas hung outside the window.

At about three AM Zelda came out of her spazz-fit. And, because of the noise created by the FOTVCP, made the long trek up to the tower and to their room. She just HAPPENED to have one of those green beauty masks on, so she was just a little scarier than usual.

Zelda walked into the room and cleared her throat. Nobody responded. Legolas ran by he with a duck attached to his hair.

"HELLO?!" Zelda shouted. Once again, no response.

Gimli ran by her. She grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him so that he would listen to her. "WILL YOU LISTEN TO ME?!"

The dwarf took one look at Zelda and started to scream. "AAAAAHHH!!! THE GREEN MONSTERS ARE ATTACKING!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!"

Zelda let go of Gimli and turned around. "Oh my GOD! Where?!"

Gimli ran from Zelda while she was distracted. "Run AWAAAY!!" He ran in circles, then he ran to the other side of the room. But in his fast movements, he failed to see the unconscious Angie in front of the window. So he tripped over her, and fell out the window.

Outside the window, there was a low, yet at the same time, high, pitched voice shouting, "WHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeee…!!!" Which was quickly followed by a loud "DOOSH!"

There was a brief silence as everybody registered what had just happened.

"HEY!" Gandalf shouted as an exclamation point appeared over his head. "He jumped out the window! O_o"

"NO I DIDN'T!" A faint echo of Gimli's voice answered. "I tripped over an unconscious Angie! THERE'S A DIFFERENCE!"

Angie smiled, though she was still unconscious. "Hee… Hee… Dumbass…"

Zelda made a face that kind of looked like this --.—

"Like, whatever…" the Princess said. "Keep it down in here. You're, like, cutting into my beauty sleep…"

Michee and Andrea burst out laughing.

"Do you, LIKE, find that FUNNY?!" Zelda shrieked.

The two teenagers pointed at Zelda. "YES!" they shouted, tears welling up in their eyes from laughing so hard.

All of a sudden, Zelda got really scary. She was so scary, that the Authoress couldn't describe it in this story for fear of scaring little kids.

"RUN AWAY!"** Andrea announced.

Everybody else chorused this so that the room was filled with people shouting 'RUN AWAY!'

They all hid under the bed, cowering in fear of Zelda. (A/N: wow… never thought THAT would happen. ::blink:: )

Zelda smiled. "Now, I think you guys should, like, keep it down up here. Or else I'll have to, like, come back up. Like, have a good night!"

She smiled again, then left.

Everybody waited five minutes before crawling out from underneath the bed, just in case Zelda was still near. They really didn't want to see her again. (A/n: Neither would I- she's scary…)

When they crawled out from underneath the bed (yes, Angie too) they decided that they should go to bed.

Link was looking more shaken up than anybody else. "HYPERBOLA!" He shouted. "Well, at least you guys don't have to live with her constant NAGGING… 'LINK! Save Hyrule!' 'Feed you horse, Link!' 'Don't kill the castle guards, Link!' 'Stop HITTIG me, Link!'" He rolled his eyes. "It gets a little… PARABOLA!… Old after a while…"

Michee blinked. "Wow…" She blinked again. "Going to bed now…"

Since going to bed was the only sensible thing that was left to do, they all went to bed. Actually, they more went into their sleeping bags.

Just then, Pippin remembered something.

"Hey Frodo…" Pippin said. "I've just remembered something."

Frodo sat up and looked at Pippin. "Don't tell me you left the bath water running back in Hobbiton!"

"No…"Pippin said. "I made sure I didn't do that again… It's something… else."

"And that something is…" Frodo helped him along.

"Well," Pippin started, "Remember when we were in the Mines of Moria?"

"Yeah…"

"And we were going over the Bridge of Khazad Dûm?"

"Uh-huh…"

"And how Gandalf tripped-"

"IS THERE A POINT?!" Frodo shouted.

Pippin blinked. "I was getting to that!" He said. "I was just making sure you remembered!"

"Don't yell at Mr. Frodo that way!" Sam shouted.

"THERE'S NO NEED TO SHOUT!" Pippin shouted.

"I'M NOT SHOUTING!" Sam shouted. Then he looked around. "ALRIGHT! I'M SHOUTING! I'M SHOUTING! I'M SHOUTING! I'M-"***

BONK!

Aragorn hit Sam over the head with Sam's Frying Pan of DOOM! and knocked Sam unconscious.

The Ranger held the frying pan up over his head. "I found a frying pan!" he said. Then he hit himself in the head with it and knocked himself unconscious.

Everybody stared at him. Then when they lost interest, they turned their attention back to Pippin.

"Okay…" Pippin started again. "So you remember how-"

"YES, PIPPIN!!" Everyone shouted. "WE REMEMBER!!"

"O_o Okay… So I was wondering…" Pippin said. "What happened to the Balrog?"

There was a very long awkward silence.

"What about the Balrog?" Frodo asked.

"Well, we were all brought here when Gandalf tripped," Pippin said.

"Stumbled…" Gandalf muttered.

Pippin looked around. "Well, what if IT was brought here too?"

Legolas flicked his hair back. "Don't be ridiculous," he said. "If it were here, we would have SEEN it already. It would have been a little hard to miss, don't you think?"

"Okay… then what's that?" Pippin pointed out the window.

A large fireball-ish thing that was sort of shaped like the Balrog walked across the Field. The shape looked over at everybody in the window, and it waved.

Everybody made a face like this O_o , or this o_0. Except for Merry, who blew up. And Aragorn, who was unconscious. And Angie, who was also unconscious. And Sam, who was also, still unconscious. And Gimli, who fell out the window and died. And Boromir, who was still in two pieces at the front door… (A/N: Wow… that's a lot of people…)

When Legolas saw the Balrog, he freaked out, just like the first time he saw it. "SAVE ME!!" He shouted. "HELP!! MOMMY!! SAVE MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"

He ran around in circles. Then he tripped over the unconscious Angie who was now in the middle of the floor. When he fell, he hit his head, and was knocked unconscious. (A/N: How many is that now? Four… cool! Maybe some more people should be knocked unconscious! ^_^ )

Andrea pulled out the Magic Notebook once again, and wrote in it. In the distance, the Balrog blew up with a soft "Puff!"

There was much rejoicing. "Yaaay…!!"

Footsteps were heard in the hallway once again. So everybody got into their sleeping bags and pretended to be asleep just as Zelda opened the door.

When she saw that no one was 'awake', she slammed the door and stamped off to her room again.

After she left, Michee propped her head up on one arm. "Hey! Andrea!" she whispered. "Wake up stupid!"

"Wha…?" was Andrea's only response.

"Wake UP!" Michelle whispered again.

"I'm awake…I'm awake…"

"Gimme your Magic Notebook!" She whispered.

"Why?" Andrea rubbed her face.

"Michee smacked her upside the head. "Don't be stupid! You put your head down for thirty seconds! Stop acting like you just woke up!"

Andrea frowned. "Fine…"

"Now gimme your Magic Notebook."

"Why?"

Michee smiled. "I wanna make Zelda die. ^_^"

"NO!" Andrea whispered. "You can't!"

"Why not?"

"We're going to need her! That's why not!" Andrea told her. "She kind of has to help with the whole 'Fellowship Thing'."

Michelle blinked. "Why don't you just use your Magic Notebook and send them back yourself?"

The Authoress blinked. "Because that would be too easy! Plus, I wouldn't have a story! I'll let you kill her later…"

"With a lightsaber?"

"Only if I help! ^_^"

"Oh-kay!" Michee said. "But only if you stop calling yourself the 'Authoress'. It's getting a little annoying…"

"--.—Fine…"

* * *

And with different methods of how to kill Zelda in their dreams, they both went to sleep.

*****************************************************************

A/N: Now, before I get into a long rant again about my home life, upcoming things, and other stuff, I have to get some stuff out of the way:

I DO NOT own Jhonen Vasquez. (I wish I did though…) And for all you people who have NO idea who this wonderful, talented man is, he the creator of the Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, SQUEE!, and Filler Bunny comics. He is also the creator of Invader ZIM! Yes… now you know who he is…

Well, ONWARD.

Yes. On to the things throughout the chapter that were starred:

*: The spazz out thing actually came from another story, which my friend Angie wrote. (Yes… the same Angie that is in my story…) Unfortunately, I don't think yu all will have the pleasure of reading it. Angie is a little… shy… She doesn't really want other people to read it. But she DID give me permission to put it in my story- so THANK YOU, ANGIE!!

**: "RUN AWAY!!" Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail. As you can probably guess, I have no permission, whatsoever to use this phrase. Oh well! ^_^

***: This is from 'Clue' the movie. Tim Curry has this line. I thought it was funny. He got hit in the head with a candlestick ^_^ hee hee

You know, I'm really happy. Guess why!!

Okay… that was really off… but just so that I don't leave you hanging- I'M GOING TO THE 104 FEST!! WHOO!! Michee is going too! So is her dad… so that means we can't have any booze… (Just kidding) Though, I wouldn't doubt for a minute that if he weren't with us, we'd be pretty messed up…

BUT WAIT! It gets better! Yes… Because immediately after the concert, I'm leaving with my family to Myrtle Beach!! WHOO! AND I won't be back until the thirteenth. Awsomeness… I know…

In other news, my little brother's vacation will be pretty much ruined. Yes… He has a broken wrist… But if you want the full story, in DETAIL (and its pretty funny, mind you) email me, because I just don't have the time to put it up here at the moment.

Hmm… What else… Well, my dad won't let me wear the pants I want to wear to the concert… Too many holes in them. So I guess I'm going to have to improvise a little. He can be such a dad about stuff, you know? He thinks I can't do worse than a pair of ratty, ripped, twenty-year-old pants. Phtt… I'll let you know about it when I get back.

I have the next chapter all typed out, and it will be posted within a week of my return from vacation. So that will be a pretty quick post.

Well, since I have nothing else to say, and surprisingly, I have not really ranted in this Author's Note. ::blink:: SO without further adieu, I shall proceed to thanking my reviewers:

x-silver-saffire-x: I'm glad you liked Yoda! (hands you two cheese pizzas with extra cheese!) You were the first to review the chapter! GO YOU! Hope you liked this one too. (don't forget to visit Yoda's Gift Shop!)

Lady Jedi: Thanks for reading my story Kris! (Hands you a cheese pizza) WHOO! GO YOU! I don't have time before I go on vacation to re-read your poem. I know.. I SHOULD have the time… But I really need to pack today. I'm only posting this today, and the rest of the day is gone. I PROMISE to read it and REVIEEW when I get back! I PROMISE! Thank for reading! Have a great time in SC! Ttyl! J

Lady Galadriel: Having a little JTHM moment, there, Michee? Oh well, (hands you a pizza) you didn't get to twitch in this one, but you have thwarted my plans yet again in my attempt to add more characters. Is that a good thing, or a bad thing? Oh well.. see you later! 104 FEST! YEAH!

Raveness: Comic relief? No.. I don't think so… He was incorporated into the story somehow… Don't ask me… but thanks for reviewing, AND you got your cameo!! Go you! (Hands you a cheeze pizza) ttyl! :-D

And with that, I will leave you all. And for all you people that DIDN'T review when you read this story- YOU SUCK!!

I shall see you all when I get back from vacation!

~ Insane Person of the Darkness

POWER TO THE PENGUINS!!

^_^