Ready for more? Here we go!
Scene III
(Kenny, Peter and Zack are walking home from school.)
KENNY: Can you /believe/ what Mr. Thibadeax was saying in health class today, guys? Man, what a dork!
PETER: You said it, Kenny! Who has time to bathe every single day? What do you think, Zack?
ZACK: I can't believe we're supposed to brush /twice/ a day. You ever floss, Peter?
PETER: Eew, gross! No way!
(Enter Zartan and some Dreadnots.)
ZARTAN: Hello boys, how's school?
BOYS: Zartan!
ZACK: School sucks, as usual.
ZARTAN: Oh, it can't be all bad. What did you learn today?
KENNY: Well, in health class they said we need to take baths.
PETER: And brush our teeth.
ZACK: And hair.
ZARTAN: Boys, proper hygiene is very important! You don't want to look like /him/, do you? (Points
at a Dreadnot.)
ZACK: Yuck! Suddenly I have an urge to brush my teeth.
PETER: I need a shower after just looking at him!
KENNY: Man, that Dreadnot is one ugly dude! (The Dreadnot picks Kenny up and snaps him in half.)
ZACK: Oh my God! He killed Kenny!
DREADNOT: Yeah, I'm a bastard!
PETER: Thanks, Zartan. Now we know!
ZARTAN: And knowing is half the battle!
(A/N: The next scene is loosly base on a true story. The names have been changed to protect the
innocent and the stupid.)
Scene IV
(Jerry and Mike are sitting un the back office of a department store. The manager is very cross.)
MANAGER: You boys ought to be ashamed! Steal beef jerky from /my/ store, will you? I'm going to
call your parents! (picks up phone)Drat! Still dead! I'll find another phone. Don't move! (leaves)
JERRY: What an assgoblin!
MIKE: Well, I hope you're happy, Jerry! Just 'cuz I was with you, I'm gonna get in trouble when
/you/ stole the jerky. I /told/ you not to!
JERRY: Blow it out your shorts, Mike!
(Enter Tomax and Xamot.)
T&X: Hey, what are you boys doing here?
M&J: Tomax and Xamot!
MIKE: We're here 'cuz Jerry's a stupid asshole who had to steal some beef jerky.
TOMAX: Is this true, Jerry?
JERRY: Yeah.
XAMOT: What you did was completly wrong. If you had been just a bit more stealthy
TOMAX: you wouldn't have been caught! Now, you have no jerky and your brother's pissed off at
you. Plus, what do you think your parents will do?
JERRY: Gee, I guess they'll be all sore and stuff.
TOMAX: First rule of shoplifting, Jerry, don't get caught. Wear a big jacket
XAMOT: with lots of pockets. Make sure no one's looking. Take it in the bathroom and
TOMAX: remove the barcode. /That's/ what sets off the detectors. Move fast.
XAMOT: But not suspiciously fast.
MIKE: Huh?
JERRY: Thanks, Tomax and Xamot! Now we know!
T&X: And knowing is half the battle!
Scene III
(Kenny, Peter and Zack are walking home from school.)
KENNY: Can you /believe/ what Mr. Thibadeax was saying in health class today, guys? Man, what a dork!
PETER: You said it, Kenny! Who has time to bathe every single day? What do you think, Zack?
ZACK: I can't believe we're supposed to brush /twice/ a day. You ever floss, Peter?
PETER: Eew, gross! No way!
(Enter Zartan and some Dreadnots.)
ZARTAN: Hello boys, how's school?
BOYS: Zartan!
ZACK: School sucks, as usual.
ZARTAN: Oh, it can't be all bad. What did you learn today?
KENNY: Well, in health class they said we need to take baths.
PETER: And brush our teeth.
ZACK: And hair.
ZARTAN: Boys, proper hygiene is very important! You don't want to look like /him/, do you? (Points
at a Dreadnot.)
ZACK: Yuck! Suddenly I have an urge to brush my teeth.
PETER: I need a shower after just looking at him!
KENNY: Man, that Dreadnot is one ugly dude! (The Dreadnot picks Kenny up and snaps him in half.)
ZACK: Oh my God! He killed Kenny!
DREADNOT: Yeah, I'm a bastard!
PETER: Thanks, Zartan. Now we know!
ZARTAN: And knowing is half the battle!
(A/N: The next scene is loosly base on a true story. The names have been changed to protect the
innocent and the stupid.)
Scene IV
(Jerry and Mike are sitting un the back office of a department store. The manager is very cross.)
MANAGER: You boys ought to be ashamed! Steal beef jerky from /my/ store, will you? I'm going to
call your parents! (picks up phone)Drat! Still dead! I'll find another phone. Don't move! (leaves)
JERRY: What an assgoblin!
MIKE: Well, I hope you're happy, Jerry! Just 'cuz I was with you, I'm gonna get in trouble when
/you/ stole the jerky. I /told/ you not to!
JERRY: Blow it out your shorts, Mike!
(Enter Tomax and Xamot.)
T&X: Hey, what are you boys doing here?
M&J: Tomax and Xamot!
MIKE: We're here 'cuz Jerry's a stupid asshole who had to steal some beef jerky.
TOMAX: Is this true, Jerry?
JERRY: Yeah.
XAMOT: What you did was completly wrong. If you had been just a bit more stealthy
TOMAX: you wouldn't have been caught! Now, you have no jerky and your brother's pissed off at
you. Plus, what do you think your parents will do?
JERRY: Gee, I guess they'll be all sore and stuff.
TOMAX: First rule of shoplifting, Jerry, don't get caught. Wear a big jacket
XAMOT: with lots of pockets. Make sure no one's looking. Take it in the bathroom and
TOMAX: remove the barcode. /That's/ what sets off the detectors. Move fast.
XAMOT: But not suspiciously fast.
MIKE: Huh?
JERRY: Thanks, Tomax and Xamot! Now we know!
T&X: And knowing is half the battle!