Some guy is really just some guy so you needn't worry your little head
about who wrote this stupid fic. This is not a silly romance fic nor an
idiotic self insert fic where one would feature themselves (as perfect as
can be with no faults whatsoever), likely with their pathetic best friends,
getting sent to the world of DBZ and probably developing a romantic
relationship with one of the characters anyway..Through this particular
fic, I plan to introduce an uncommon point of view.
I do not own DBZ (nor could I ever hope to create as good a series) or any other series that I may have thoroughly marred through creation of this parody.
Basically, you don't want to know me and I don't want to know you so just read my fic and see if it is to your liking. And now without further ado, I present to you....
Where's A Good Alien When Ya Need One?
Chapter 1: Triple take
Yamucha tensed up quickly as he noticed a disturbance of energy in the air. "Hey guys I just felt something!"
As to be expected, all present stood up and looked on with concern.
"I- I just felt it too." Kuririn stammered.
" Hmm..It moves with great speed."
"It's getting closer.." The tension throughout the room could be felt as everyone exchanged wary glances and shifted their eyes from one direction to another, almost as if listening for something.
SMACK!!!
"Damn mosquitoes!" Yamucha exclaimed as he flicked the little bugger off into oblivion, " Master Roushi! When are you gonna get some screens for your windows?"
"Whenever you plan on going back to Bulma's place and watching the tube.." the old turtle hermit replied simply.
That was the end of the discussion. Yamucha, Kuririn, Puar and Oolong all took up their designated places on the carpet. Yes, maybe years ago they would have enjoyed the prospect of returning to Bulma's house at the Capsule Corporation complex and watching one their friend's many big screen TVs but alas, those were better days.
Now something evil lurked there.. More sinister than the thought of evil itself...Yes, the day the triangularly shaped-headed man had moved into West City had been a sad day for all that dwelt on the face of the planet earth.
"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?" Kuririn yelled jumping up suddenly.
" Whatever it is, it sure is strong." Yamucha said with what resembled a grimace on his face.
"And familiar, Hey! Wait a second!" Kuririn turned to Master Roushi with a serious down turned expression.
"You let a fluffy didn't you?"
"What's it to you"
Oolong groaned and slumped down below the table. "Now I know why they call them old farts.."
"I knew it," exclaimed Kuririn, "How could burritos possibly be healthy for someone your age?!"
"Mind your own boy! If I had known you would become such an upstart I would have whipped you more often when I still could."
" Master Roushi, Kuririn, is this what are problems have brought us to? Years of fighting for what we had once called justice and peace, training desperately with our friends and companions for this!! This symbol of savagery and collapse between the invisible chains that link us all together after all we've been through together, this aggression which has, like the aliens we have struggled against, brought us to a point where we are no longer human!!!" Puar's stinging statement seemed to rest upon the air as he held up his tiny paws, seemingly reaching out for the possibility of finding what remaining hope there was in the world for what they had once had...
"You aren't human anyway Puar," Oolong replied bluntly.
"Why you damn mother fuc&%^*!!"
The little blue cat launched himself upon the pig and in no time they were animalistically tearing at each other within a cloud of tumultuous dust in the middle of the Kame House living room.
Yamucha merely sighed with boredom and continued to watch Attack of the Killer Tomatoes on TV. Really, there was nothing to be bored about. In two years they would have to be trained and ready for a pair of androids that were supposedly going to attack the earth in hateful revenge against Gokuh who had destroyed the Red Ribbon Army in his youth. It wasgenerally accepted that they would suffer terrible losses and that most of them would die hideous deaths, he himself might even die, again. It kind of gave him a rush actually, just thinking about dying.
"AHHHHHH!!!" yelled Kuririn having to shout even louder to make himself heard over the TV and the two fighting animals.
" I haven't called Gokuh in an entire hour!!!" And with that the monk ran out of the living room and headed for the kitchen phone.
I guess the moment was totally untimely for master Roushi to be picking his nose, but in any case-
"AAUUUGHHHHHH!!!!" Master Roushi almost stuck his index figer straight up his brain upon hearing Kuririn's earsplitting cry of anguish. "Gokuh isn't there!!! Something terrible must have happened to him!!! Somebody must have kidnapped him or the androids may have gotten to him early or he may have died of some terrible dise-!!!!!!"
Yamucha slapped the shorter man across the face. " Keep it together man!"
"I'm sorry" Kuririn said in a much softer tone, " but he's not at his house, what would we do without Gokuh?"
"Chill! He's probably just out fishing in a river full of gargantuan fish and poisonous water snakes, or taking Gohan out to train with him when he should really be studying, or maybe he can't answer because he knows that somebody's tapped his phonelines and- Come to think of it we better get our asses down to the Son residence right now!"
Kuririn nodded excitedly with wide eyes.
Together the two former students of Master Roushi struck a pose and pointed in some random direction that they assumed Gokuh's mountainside house was located in.
"TO GOKUH'S PLACE!!!!!" They were about to fly right out the window when they heard master Roushi talk again.
"Hey, wait a second you two, can't you sense that?"
" Huh what is it master!?"
"Hmmm..It feels like a strange energy." He placed his hands over his weathered wooden staff and concentrated from behind darkened sunglasses.
" Is it powerful?" Kuririn asked nervously trying to get a fix on the energy himself.
"It's difficult to tell, but it's definitely nothing good." Yamucha said with a clenched fist.
Kuririn pouted. "You're just saying that to sound all important.."
"So what if I am?" Puar and Oolong had briefly discontinued their squabble to listen in on the coversation.
" Could it be the androids?"
"SHH! Can't you see Yamucha's trying to concentrate?!"
" Kuririn I think we better go check this out" Yamucha said motioning for Kuririn to follow him.
" b-But what about Gokuh!?"
"If I know anything about Gokuh, he and Gohan are probably already there by now."
"Well, OK!" The two warriors took off to discover the source of this mysterious new energy.
I do not own DBZ (nor could I ever hope to create as good a series) or any other series that I may have thoroughly marred through creation of this parody.
Basically, you don't want to know me and I don't want to know you so just read my fic and see if it is to your liking. And now without further ado, I present to you....
Where's A Good Alien When Ya Need One?
Chapter 1: Triple take
Yamucha tensed up quickly as he noticed a disturbance of energy in the air. "Hey guys I just felt something!"
As to be expected, all present stood up and looked on with concern.
"I- I just felt it too." Kuririn stammered.
" Hmm..It moves with great speed."
"It's getting closer.." The tension throughout the room could be felt as everyone exchanged wary glances and shifted their eyes from one direction to another, almost as if listening for something.
SMACK!!!
"Damn mosquitoes!" Yamucha exclaimed as he flicked the little bugger off into oblivion, " Master Roushi! When are you gonna get some screens for your windows?"
"Whenever you plan on going back to Bulma's place and watching the tube.." the old turtle hermit replied simply.
That was the end of the discussion. Yamucha, Kuririn, Puar and Oolong all took up their designated places on the carpet. Yes, maybe years ago they would have enjoyed the prospect of returning to Bulma's house at the Capsule Corporation complex and watching one their friend's many big screen TVs but alas, those were better days.
Now something evil lurked there.. More sinister than the thought of evil itself...Yes, the day the triangularly shaped-headed man had moved into West City had been a sad day for all that dwelt on the face of the planet earth.
"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?" Kuririn yelled jumping up suddenly.
" Whatever it is, it sure is strong." Yamucha said with what resembled a grimace on his face.
"And familiar, Hey! Wait a second!" Kuririn turned to Master Roushi with a serious down turned expression.
"You let a fluffy didn't you?"
"What's it to you"
Oolong groaned and slumped down below the table. "Now I know why they call them old farts.."
"I knew it," exclaimed Kuririn, "How could burritos possibly be healthy for someone your age?!"
"Mind your own boy! If I had known you would become such an upstart I would have whipped you more often when I still could."
" Master Roushi, Kuririn, is this what are problems have brought us to? Years of fighting for what we had once called justice and peace, training desperately with our friends and companions for this!! This symbol of savagery and collapse between the invisible chains that link us all together after all we've been through together, this aggression which has, like the aliens we have struggled against, brought us to a point where we are no longer human!!!" Puar's stinging statement seemed to rest upon the air as he held up his tiny paws, seemingly reaching out for the possibility of finding what remaining hope there was in the world for what they had once had...
"You aren't human anyway Puar," Oolong replied bluntly.
"Why you damn mother fuc&%^*!!"
The little blue cat launched himself upon the pig and in no time they were animalistically tearing at each other within a cloud of tumultuous dust in the middle of the Kame House living room.
Yamucha merely sighed with boredom and continued to watch Attack of the Killer Tomatoes on TV. Really, there was nothing to be bored about. In two years they would have to be trained and ready for a pair of androids that were supposedly going to attack the earth in hateful revenge against Gokuh who had destroyed the Red Ribbon Army in his youth. It wasgenerally accepted that they would suffer terrible losses and that most of them would die hideous deaths, he himself might even die, again. It kind of gave him a rush actually, just thinking about dying.
"AHHHHHH!!!" yelled Kuririn having to shout even louder to make himself heard over the TV and the two fighting animals.
" I haven't called Gokuh in an entire hour!!!" And with that the monk ran out of the living room and headed for the kitchen phone.
I guess the moment was totally untimely for master Roushi to be picking his nose, but in any case-
"AAUUUGHHHHHH!!!!" Master Roushi almost stuck his index figer straight up his brain upon hearing Kuririn's earsplitting cry of anguish. "Gokuh isn't there!!! Something terrible must have happened to him!!! Somebody must have kidnapped him or the androids may have gotten to him early or he may have died of some terrible dise-!!!!!!"
Yamucha slapped the shorter man across the face. " Keep it together man!"
"I'm sorry" Kuririn said in a much softer tone, " but he's not at his house, what would we do without Gokuh?"
"Chill! He's probably just out fishing in a river full of gargantuan fish and poisonous water snakes, or taking Gohan out to train with him when he should really be studying, or maybe he can't answer because he knows that somebody's tapped his phonelines and- Come to think of it we better get our asses down to the Son residence right now!"
Kuririn nodded excitedly with wide eyes.
Together the two former students of Master Roushi struck a pose and pointed in some random direction that they assumed Gokuh's mountainside house was located in.
"TO GOKUH'S PLACE!!!!!" They were about to fly right out the window when they heard master Roushi talk again.
"Hey, wait a second you two, can't you sense that?"
" Huh what is it master!?"
"Hmmm..It feels like a strange energy." He placed his hands over his weathered wooden staff and concentrated from behind darkened sunglasses.
" Is it powerful?" Kuririn asked nervously trying to get a fix on the energy himself.
"It's difficult to tell, but it's definitely nothing good." Yamucha said with a clenched fist.
Kuririn pouted. "You're just saying that to sound all important.."
"So what if I am?" Puar and Oolong had briefly discontinued their squabble to listen in on the coversation.
" Could it be the androids?"
"SHH! Can't you see Yamucha's trying to concentrate?!"
" Kuririn I think we better go check this out" Yamucha said motioning for Kuririn to follow him.
" b-But what about Gokuh!?"
"If I know anything about Gokuh, he and Gohan are probably already there by now."
"Well, OK!" The two warriors took off to discover the source of this mysterious new energy.