CHAPTER 135

(JARED)

We all leave Christian's study and I'm feeling at peace with my decision to call Gideon dad, now that I've worked things out in my head. He more than deserves that title and I realise now that it doesn't take anything away from my dad or make me a bad person to think of him as my dad. Dad has his arm securely around my shoulder as we walk into the sitting room and I think the fact I asked him if I could call him dad means a lot to him.

My heart nearly broke in two when I told him I loved him and he replied with that he loved me, was proud of me and then he vowed that he would try and make me proud of him and I realised just how other people's actions have really damaged him, that he should think that way.

Everyone looks around at us and smiles watching us closely. I watch as dad shakes Caroline's hand and thanks her for this evening and she asks him if she will see him in person for his own scheduled therapy session or if it will be a video call. I listen wondering what his answer will be as that will give me some indication of when we will be going to New York. He tells her that it will be an in person session which says either it will be soon or he is planning on staying on here for a while yet. After she has gone Jason Taylor appears and tells Christian that some visitors have arrived.

I hear the names Mr and Mrs Grey so I am guessing that's Christian's mom and dad. I've not met them yet and I realise they must be here because it's Ana's birthday. A few moments later a little girl comes running in and hurls herself at Christian before going to Ana and then Eva before finally throwing herself into dad's arms.

I watch as he picks her up and she wraps her arms around his neck and calls him Uncle Gideon, then she sees me and pauses. Dad speaks to her, as he introduces me.

"Ava, this is my son Jared" he turns to me, "Jared come and meet your new cousin, this is Elliot's daughter Ava" he says.

I walk over to her and she smiles at me, she is very young I estimate about 2 or 3 years old.

"Hello Ava" I say but she doesn't reply she just grins at me. Then she wriggles, dad sets her down and she runs to the guy I recognise as Elliot Grey. I look at the woman who is with him, and who is now walking towards me.

"Hello, you must be Jared, I've heard so much about you. I'm Megumi, but everyone calls me Meg. I'm Elliot's wife" she explains.

I immediately warm to her, she has kind eyes like my mom and Aunty Suzy. I smile at her, "Hello, I'm pleased to meet you" I say politely.

I look up and see Christian is in deep discussion with Elliot and he is nodding, and then Christian slaps him on the back. Elliot then goes to Ana and with a wicked grin on his face he grabs her making her squeal and he lifts her up and spins her around, she is gripping him and giggling loudly.

"Happy birthday sis" he says and I see Christian roll his eyes.

"For god's sake El put her down and behave" he says.

Elliot grins even wider and then carefully sets Ana down, and after he presses a kiss to her cheek he goes to Eva and greets her.

"Hey sis" he says as he hugs her. He slaps dad on the back before turning towards me.

"Hi Jared, how's it going?" he asks gently.

"Hi, I'm ok" I say and I pause as I think about that, and I realise that I really am ok. I am still grieving for mom and dad and Uncle Pete and Aunty Suzy and I miss them terribly so much that every time I think about them, I want to cry and I get a sharp pain in my chest but I know that the police know who killed them, I know that dad and Christian will do everything they can to make sure they are punished for what they did, and now I am part of this amazing family.

Elliot smiles at me, "Christian made me aware that you might want a little chat" he says.

I shake my head, "Thank you that's very kind of you, but…" I pause and look at dad who is watching and listening, "I think I've worked things out in my head now" I say.

Elliot's smile gets impossibly wider, "Well that's great, but you know where I am if you do ever want a chat… I mean I'm looking to claim the spot as favourite uncle!" he says and I let out a little laugh at that.

"Thanks Elliot" I reply.

"So, when is the party of the year happening?" Elliot asks looking around. "Mia called me and said there was some doubt if it was happening at all now?"

Christian hands Elliot and dad a bottle of beer, "It's happening" my dad says adamantly and he wraps his arm around me as he says it.

"So, when?" Elliot asks.

Gideon shrugs, "It's Ana's birthday today… Yours is nine days away on the 19th and mine is three days after that on the 22nd, I am hoping to return to New York fairly soon so I would suggest within the next week?"

Christian nods, and Elliot shrugs, "Fine by me" he says easily.

"I'll get Mia on it then" Christian says.

So, dad's birthday is the 22nd September, I pull out my phone and make a note of that and I also make a note of Elliot's birthday and Ana's.

I hesitate, do I ask dad when everyone else's is or do I just Google them? I make the decision to Google them and I quickly find everyone's birthdays and put them in my phone.

"Jared do you want a drink?" Christian asks me and I look up.

I nod, "Yes please, do you have any Coka Cola?" I ask and he nods and vanishes a moment before reappearing with a glass of Coka Cola.

"Thank you" I say as I accept it.

Everyone is chatting happily when Jason Taylor appears again and I stiffen wondering what has happened.

"Mr Steele is here" he says and a moment later an older man strolls in.

"Hi dad" Ana says as she leaves Christian's side and walks over to the man. I watch him greet her affectionately before greeting Christian. Eva walks up to him and hugs him.

"Hello Ray how are you?" she says and he grins at her as he tells her he is fine.

Dad leans down and whispers in my ear, "Come and meet Ray" he says and the way he says it almost reverently I realise he has a lot of time and respect for this man.

We walk over to the man who is laughing at something Eva is saying and then he turns to dad and holding out his hand he smiles kindly at him.

"Ray, it's good to see you again. Let me introduce you to my son Jared" dad says as he urges me forward.

"Hello son" Ray says to dad as he shakes his hand, and then he turns towards me, "Hello Jared, Annie has been telling me all about you" he says.

I politely hold out my hand, "I'm pleased to meet you sir" I say nervously.

Ray smiles, "Oh please call me Ray" he says as he grasps my hand warmly.

He looks up at dad once more, "Annie has been keeping me updated with everything that has been happening, how are you doing son?" he asks with obvious concern.

Dad smiles and nods, "I'm ok" he says simply. I watch as Ray reaches out and touches my dad's shoulder before moving away.

"Dad" I whisper and immediately he turns and gives me his complete attention.

"Is it Ana or Annie? Have I been calling her the wrong name?" I ask.

Dad smiles at me, "It's Ana, her full name is Anastasia, only Ray and Arnie call her Annie".

"Arnie?" I ask.

"Arnie is Ray's friend from his military days so he watched Ana grow up and she calls him Uncle Arnie but coincidentally he is also Christian's actual biological uncle as it all came out that his sister was Christian's biological mom".

My eyes widen at that, "Seriously?! That is messed up, his brother and wife are related and then he finds that out… wow" I say.

Dad nods, "It is fair to say this whole year has been pretty messed up with one thing or another, and we are all new at this, and still finding our feet. Eva had no idea Ana was her sister until this year, and that is what set everything in motion".

I gape at him, "I had no idea" I say and he grins at me.

"You know it astounds me that you've never thought to Google me as it's all there. I am happy that you didn't Google me when you were first given my name and you chose to speak to me personally first with no preconceived ideas and I really appreciate that" he says.

"I'm guessing from that there is plenty more to know though" I say as I recall my Googling of a few moments ago.

Dad sighs, "There is and none of it is good, I won't forbid you from researching me but if you do all I ask is whatever you find you tell me and I will answer any questions you have".

I nod as that is fair enough, I am curious to know more and I don't want to be constantly asking questions so I might Google him and find out what else there is to know.

The evening is nice, everyone is relaxed and I just watch. I watch how dad clearly adores Eva and Christian is the same with Ana. The vibes in the room are of happiness and security and it is intoxicating.

I am drawn from my thoughts as I hear my name mentioned.

I look up to see dad is asking Ray something and I wonder why I was mentioned. So I tune into their conversation.

"Jared's father was going to make a wooden dog as a memorial to mark the spot where the ashes were scattered, but obviously that never happened… I know you make furniture but I was wondering if it would be possible for you to make a statue of a dog? If not do you know anyone who could?" my dad asks and my heart lurches that he is doing this.

I don't say anything and just continue to listen as Ray beams at my dad.

"I would be honoured to do it" Ray says simply. Dad looks across at me and calls out to me.

I get up and go and sit next to him, "Jared, Ray has agreed to make a statue of Oscar for you, so that you can put it where you scattered his ashes… if that is something you would like?" dad says warily.

I turn towards Ray, "Thank you so much sir, I will pay you for your time and…" I stop as Ray holds up his hand.

"You will do no such thing, I will make it and it will be a gift from me to you… you are my family now as well so if I can't make a gift for my great nephew then it's a poor show, just let me have a photograph of your dog that I can work from". I still as I think about that, of course… Ray is Ana's dad so because Ana is Eva's sister that makes Ray… but he isn't Eva's dad? I realise he was like who my dad was to me. He wasn't Ana's biological dad but he was the guy who raised her and who loved her. He wanted her and now just because I'm Gideon's son he wants me to be a part of his family as well.

"Thank you, I will" I say slightly surprised at how shaky my voice now sounds. Dad also notices and looks carefully at me.

"Are you ok?" dad asks warily.

I nod, "Erm… Ray, can I ask you a personal question?" I begin and he looks at me carefully.

"Go on son" he says simply.

I take a deep breath, "I never got chance to ask my dad this… because he died, but… I always knew I was adopted he was always honest about it with me… but I never knew if… he was scared that I'd want to look for my biological family. I mean I never really thought about it much until mom and dad died, I knew of my biological family on her side, as… her family came and visited me when I was little… what I'm trying to say is did you ever feel worried that Ana might…?" I fade off as Ray shakes his head adamantly.

"No son, Annie was mine end of story. She doesn't have a good relationship with her mom and she won't mind me saying because she says it to anyone who will listen that I was both mom and dad for her as she was growing up. Until this year, we assumed Annie's biological dad was dead so it wasn't an issue. She has met him and let's just say it didn't go well, but that is Annie's story to tell – or Eva as I'm sure she would tell you all about Frank".

Ray looks at me closely, "This has been huge change for you, hasn't it?" he says kindly and I nod.

Ray smiles, "Well all I will say is Gideon is a good man and he will do the right thing by you".

oooOOOooo

"Where is everyone?" I ask, later when everyone has gone home and I find myself sitting with my dad.

"Christian is in his study, I think he's catching up with Ros on GEH business, and I think Ana and Eva have gone a walk around the grounds".

"Ros?" I ask.

"Ros is Christian's second in command at Grey Enterprise Holdings and she has been holding the fort and running the place while he has been away from the office" he explains.

"Who has been running your company?" I ask as I remember my dad also runs a massive company.

"I have a competent team in place who handle things in my absence" he says.

"But I'm keeping you from your business?" I say.

Dad shakes his head, "Don't Jared, Cross Industries is important to me I built it from the ground up when I had nothing else, it gave me a place to belong in the world but now I have Eva and I have you. You two are far more important to me than my company and will always come first before any business" he says emphatically.

I get a warm fuzzy feeling in my stomach as he says that as it reminds me of something my dad said to me once. He always said that family came first and me and mom were more important than any business deals. But it leads me to wonder when we will be going back to New York as it has to happen some time.

"Dad, when are we leaving and going to New York?" I ask.

Gideon pauses and thinks, "Not before the party, which is next week. I need to go to your school and arrange a transfer to a school in New York. Arash, Angus and Raul are doing a lot of stuff behind the scenes to facilitate a smooth transition… you should know, Arash has discovered that your father's will stipulated that in the event of his death you and your mother were to stay in the house and in the event of your mother's death the house would be yours. Your uncle clearly went against that by putting the house up for sale. Arash is dealing with all the legalities of getting the house transferred to you along with the money I paid for it".

I shake my head, "No dad if that house was meant to be mine then take back what you paid for it as it wasn't Uncle Phil's to sell" I say.

Dad grins, but it's not a good grin, "Don't worry your uncle is in no position to fight this and consider that money your nest egg" he says vaguely and I wonder what he has done.

I just nod, "Ok" I say simply.

He looks at me closely, "You should also know Arash has completed the legal requirements for me to take full guardianship of you - I am now your legal guardian. He is now dealing with you wanting to take my surname and I've asked him to look into the possibility of me legally adopting you… but only if you want that, is that something you would want?"

I stare at him, "But you are my dad… surely?" I ask.

Dad grins again, but this time it's a warm and genuine one, "Because your mother put you up for adoption in the first place and I am not named as your father on your original birth certificate I have no parental rights and am simply someone who wants to adopt you. Obviously having secured the guardianship of you and the fact I can prove I am biologically your father will make this process much easier but if you don't want it then I won't pursue it" he says.

I touch his arm, "I want it" I say adamantly.

He looks at me and I can see there is something else he wants to say, "What is it?" I ask.

He licks his lips, "I don't want to overwhelm you… but, as we are discussing this it seems like the right time to bring it up. You are my son, and you have agreed for me to make that fact official… that means you are also my heir" he stops and waits while I take that in.

It hits me what he is saying, "You mean… your company?" I ask.

He nods, and I shake my head, "No, I can't… I mean I have everything my dad left me which I get when I turn 21, I don't need anything else" I say.

Gideon smiles kindly at me, "We will discuss this another time, I'm sorry I shouldn't have brought it up" he says.

"That's ok" I say somewhat lamely as my mind is now buzzing with this new information.

I look up as Eva and Ana appear both laughing at something Eva has just said. "I'm going to find Christian" Ana says and disappears from the room.

Eva comes and sits next to dad and he cups the nape of her neck and leaning towards her kisses her quite passionately. I smile as dad used to do things like that with mom, and I decide to give them some privacy.

"I'm going to go to my room" I say.

Dad immediately pulls away from Eva and looks worried.

"It's ok dad" I say simply and I touch his shoulder as I walk away.

As I get into the room I close the door and grab my phone, I see it doesn't have much charge so I go and get my laptop instead. I take a deep breath and open Google, then I type in the words 'Gideon Cross' and wait.

Two hours later I know all there is to know not only about my dad, but also his dad his mom his brother and sister – Christopher and Ireland, Christian, Ana and Eva. I have also learnt about Elliot and his birth family and the woman who he was married to before Megumi. I sit back in my chair and scrubbing my hands down my face I let out a long breath, I have watched some interviews which they did which are now on the internet, I've learnt about a shooting and how the guy who shot dad's brother turned out to be their brother. It all sounds like a plotline of a bad soap opera, it's so unbelievable. I've also read the latest stuff which outs me as his son and grainy footage obviously taken on someone's phone of what happened today in Chicago.

As I am thinking this my phone rings, I reach for it and picking it up I look at the screen. My heart lurches as I see a California number, is this Uncle Patrick? I hesitantly answer.

"Hello" I say.

"Jared? Is that you?" I hear my uncle's voice and I smile.

"Hi Uncle Patrick" I say.

"Some guy called me, telling me Pete and Will are dead – what the fuck is going on?"

I sigh, "It's a mess, who called you?" I ask.

"Someone called Raul" he replies.

"Raul Huerta, he works for my biological dad. I'm with him now, it's a long story" I say.

"What about Phil, is he ok?" Patrick asks and I feel the anger rising inside me.

"No, he is going to prison because he shot my mom caused the death of my dad and also arranged the shooting of Uncle Pete and Aunty Suzy" I say.

"What the fuck?! Where are you?" Uncle Patrick asks.

"At the moment I am in Seattle" I say, but something tells me not to reveal exactly where I am and who I am with".

"Listen, you say you are with your birth family?" he says after a moment.

"I am" I reply.

"Ok then, it's probably best for you to stay there then" he says dismissively.

"It is" I say. This man is supposed to be my family too, he is my dad's brother but his actions compared to how Christian has behaved towards me are jarring and I realise that I really am better off here.

"Well, you have my number now so call me if you ever need anything" he says flippantly, almost like it is something he knows he has to say but doesn't really mean.

"Ok" I say.

"See you around then kid" he says and with that the line goes dead. I let out a small incredulous snort and throw down my phone.

"Fucking Asshole!" I say out loud, and grin as I think of how mom and dad and Uncle Pete and Aunty Suzy would freak out if they'd heard me say that. A pang of pain engulfs me and the pain of loss washes over me once more.

I feel the overwhelming need to find my dad and I leave my room. I hear voices and go downstairs following the sound. Everyone is sitting in the sitting room chatting as I walk in and they all look up at me. I see concern on their faces and dad immediately gets up and comes to me, closely followed by everyone else.

Nobody has said a word but their reaction, their immediate and total concern compared to the complete indifference of Uncle Patrick makes me just burst into tears.

"What's happened?" Christian asks.

"Come and sit down and talk to us Jared" Eva says.

"Oh Jared" Ana says.

Then I feel my dad's strong arms engulf me, "I've got you" he says simply, and in that moment, I know, everyone in this room has got me and I really am better off here.

We move to the sofa and everyone is watching me but waiting for me to speak.

I sniff loudly, and a moment later Christian appears with a box of tissues and places it in front of me.

"Thank you" I say.

I take a deep breath, I look at my dad… "I was in my room… on a side note, I Googled you and I know everything now so I need to show you what I read and watched, because you said…" I stop as I realise I'm rambling.

Dad nods, "Alright, but you said that was a side note so we will discuss that later, what has upset you?" he asks calmly.

I lick my lips, "Uncle Patrick called me, he said Raul called him and so he phoned me. He asked what had happened and I told him. He said… he said…" I stop and shake my head.

"What did he say to you Jared?" my dad asks and I can't help but notice the dangerous tone of his voice.

"He asked me what had happened so I told him, he asked me if Uncle Phil was ok and I told him he was the one responsible for it all. He asked me where I was, I told him I was with my biological family now… but I didn't say who you were, not because I'm ashamed of you but something just told me not to reveal who you were… mom always said Uncle Patrick only ever showed up when he needed money and well you guys… anyway, I told him that and he said so you are with your birth family I said yes and he thought about it and said I was better off staying where I was, then he said that I have his number now if I want to call him and that he'd see me around sometime and just hung up".

Christian stands up and curses loudly, "Christian" Ana says as she reaches for him.

He glances at me and sits down again, "Sorry Jared" he says.

I shrug, "It's ok, I pretty much thought the same thing" I say.

"How are you feeling now?" Eva asks me gently.

"Better now I'm here and I've told you guys" I say.

Dad holds me close, "You will always have us" he vows fiercely.