Now would be a good time to get on Kazaa, or to hit the music store, or to do whatever you've been doing, and search the listings for Tenacious D. This is their Tribute…
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Outside the Bayville High recording studio…
"Todd, I…" Nervously gripping the neck of his guitar, Fred Dukes paused at the doorway. "I don't know if I can do this today."
"Yo, what'da'ya mean?" Demanded Todd Tolanski. Darting in front of the large boy, Todd put his hands firmly on Fred's shoulders. "Man, I know you. You are so ready for this!"
"But," Fred stuttered, "I'm just not sure."
"Fred," Todd insisted in a quiet, meaningful tone. "You know you can do this. You've lived your life for this. For this one moment!" Todd's voice took on a forced bass. "For this one moment when we walk through those doors and change fanfiction.net history!"
Fred closed his eyes. "I can do this."
"You can do this," confirmed Todd. The two boys leaned on each other in a moment of silent band-member bonding before dramatically opening the door and stepping into the recording studio.
"Okay," came Beast's voice through the speaker system. "They're here. Starting the recording for Tenacious B, take one."
After a click and a slight pause, Forge's voice came over the intercom. "Everything should be prepped and ready boys. Go to it."
In hushed excitement, Todd and Fred settled themselves in the center of the room in front of a series of microphones. Disregarding the stools provided for them, they raised the mikes, and put on the headsets. With a series of quivering hand motions, Todd set the tempo. As soon as he got the beat, Fred began picking the opening pattern on his guitar.
Pressing his headset tight against his ears, Todd leaned anxiously closer to the mikes. "This is the greatest, and best songfic in the world," he informed. He paused for a second as Fred continued playing the hook. "Tribute.
"Ya see a long time ago, me and my brother Fred, here," Todd flicked his wrist toward Fred. "We were was hitchhiking down… A long, lonesome road…" A prerecorded western-standoff sound effect emphasized his remark. "And then all of a sudden, there shifted a shifty shape-shifter. In the middle… Of the road…
"And she said…" Todd continued in a cracked falsetto. "Wri—ite the best songfic in the world… Or I'll eat your soul." Todd paused and let the guitar line play for a moment. "So me and Fred… We looked at each other. And we both said…"
Todd and Fred looked at each other, to get the timing right. "Okay."
With a triumphant smile breaking out on his face, Todd continued singing alone, while Fred played with renewed enthusiasm. "And we wrote the first thing that came to our heads and it just so happened to be—eee… It was the best songfic in the world! The best songfic in the wo-or-rld!
"Look into my eyes and it's easy to see; one and one make two, two and one make three. It was destiny… Once every hundred thousand years or so, when the sun doth shine and the moon doth glow and the grass doth gro—ow…"
"Oooh…" The end of the note modulated upward as Todd and Fred sang it together.
There was a slight pause as the guitar line modulated back to the opening pattern.
"Needless to say… The beast was stunned. A—Whip—Crack! When her greasy hair…" Todd leaned forward and grinned. "And the beast was done… She asked us…" Again, Todd used his falsetto voice. "Hnk. Be you humans?"
Todd reverted to his normal voice and Fred joined in. "And we said 'nay.' We're both mut-tants!"
Todd brought down his fist in righteous triumph as the duo continued. "Rock oooooo—ooo-aaoooa-ooaa-oooaa—ooooon! Oo-o-o-ooh! Wo-o-oaah! O-oa-o-ooh…"
"This is not," sang Todd as the tempo increased. "The greatest songfic in the wo-orld. No. This is just a tribute. Couldn't remembe-e-er the greatest songfic in the wo-orld. So! This is a trib-bu-ute… Oh… To the greatest songfic in the world. Oo—oh right… It was the greatest songfic in the world. Oo-ohoh ri-ight! Duh-deh-duex-de-fuh-duex-feh to the greatest songfic in the world, Oi-right!"
At a hand gesture from Todd, Fred silenced his guitar.
"Flienh!" Sang Todd a capella style. "Flu. Fleg-gah-feux-deux-flieng!"
"Hah!" Sang Fred in a counter-point falsetto.
"Fla-b-deu-bu dah!"
"Hah!"
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The control booth…
Beast's head slouched forward against the mixing panel. "Don't they realize that doesn't across in text form?"
Forge looked on with a mixture of fear and fascination. "Thank God for that…"
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The recording studio…
"Fleh-guh-fah-gah-bah-deh-fease-duh-bier!"
As the vocal solo ended, Todd danced backwards, banging his head to the rhythm. In turn, Fred stepped up and filled in with a guitar solo, with a prerecorded drum line backing him up.
After a moment, Todd stepped back up and Fred resumed playing the background riff. "And the peculiar thing was this my friends; the songfic we wrote on that fateful night; it didn't actually look anything like this songfic!"
"This is a tribute," Todd and Fred sang together. "You got-ta believe me. And I wish you were there. Just a matter of opinion. Woah… Oy yeah! I'm so surprised to find ya can't stop ya yeah…"
Fred resumed building to a massive guitar finish.
"Aa--all right!" Interjected Todd. "All… Ahh-all ri-ight…"
Backing off, Todd let Fred go wild with the solo. After fifteen seconds of fury, the solo began fading ended and Fred stumbled back against one of the unused benches. He took a few seconds to steady himself and then slowly picked away one last haunting arpeggio.
With the last chords fading into silence, Todd looked up at the control booth. "Cut, yo. That's a wrap."
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