Disclaimer: Don't own Final Fantasy VII, or Vincent, or Tifa, or Cloud, or Nibelheim, or...well, you get the picture. Just inserting them into the machine of my imagination and watching what pops out.
Illuminating the Dark -- Part Two
by: thelittletree
* * *
I knew it wouldn't be hard to set up the date. Just to flirt a little in a particular direction. He's a smart, Junon-educated man, he knew where I was heading. He's been trying to herd me there for weeks.
Tomorrow afternoon, coffee. A place not far from the store where they boast 'killer cappuccinos'. I don't work tomorrow, and he's introduced me to the idea of taking a couple of hours just to walk around Nibelheim's tiny downtown street, enjoy the sights, go to a park at the end of the road where there are benches and flowers and swings. I'll probably enjoy myself. He's already convinced me that he'll be good company.
His name is Eike. I've never known anyone named Eike before. Maybe an inch or so taller than Vincent, curly brown-hair just this side of unruly, and with this smile that makes you feel like your sharing some mischievous secret with him. Good-looking, and he always seems to have his hands in his pockets. Sophisticated, I said before, like a grown-up playboy. I won't kid myself, I know I'm probably one of five or ten girls he flirts with on a regular basis. But maybe that doesn't matter. I can imagine his fingers sneaking around my waist as we walk, his palm a broad warmth on my shoulder, his lips a soft impression on my temple as he smells my hair.
The first tentative steps toward intimacy, and he's probably done it a hundred times before. It might be nice to be with someone who knows the entire score. I can just let myself go along with it, be pursued by a virtuoso on the subject, forget about Vincent for one afternoon.
Oh, Vincent. I wish I had some solid indication that you thought it might be possible. I would be there, I would work my damnedest to convince you if I knew it wouldn't scare you away. I don't want Eike. But I'll take him if he's what I can get right now. I'm so tired of wishing I knew what your hand felt like in mine, what it's like to kiss the hollow under your ear, beside your jaw, what it's like to fall asleep beside you in weary satisfaction, so very comfortable with being naked and warm against you.
I only have my dreams.
Vincent's gone again, hunting outside of Kalm. He calls it hunting; I can't help but think of it in terms of 'feeding'. I don't know what he'd think of that, if he calls it 'hunting' like using a euphemism. Well, maybe it is better than saying, 'I'm going out to let the four monsters inside of me glut themselves on blood so that they don't pop up suddenly and try to eat the two of you.' Hmh. This is the man I'm falling for. My father's probably rolling in his grave. Though it says something about him that Vincent's as well-adjusted as he is.
I walk to Lily's after my shift. It's become a bit of a routine when Vincent's gone. I help her with supper, we put some of it in the freezer for him in lieu of his return, we eat, and then we talk, play cards, clean house, just hang around. She has a radio she picked up a week or two ago from a shop where it had been having its tubes replaced, and I don't think I've ever realized before how much fun it can be to dust a living room to the beat of a dance music station. Lily doesn't dance; she laughs at me and threatens to take a picture to show to Vincent. Not that I care very much about that. One day, I'm sure he'll walk in on me and raise an eyebrow. And I'll just tickle his ears with a feather duster, something Lily has already told me he absolutely abhors. And then he'll chase me around until he manages to get it away from me, and then, out of breath, we'll stand too close together and just kiss until I wake up.
Lily's in her kitchen smoking a cigarette and drinking some tea, as is usual for her around this time. I lent her a box of a raspberry tea I picked up in Kalm a long time ago and never got around to finishing, and she seems to like it a lot, if what's in the pot right now is any indication. I pour myself a cup, add milk and probably too much sugar, and go to sit down across from her. She sighs a little, working at the dirt under one nail.
"Well, he's gone."
"Yep." I take a sip from my mug. "What's on the agenda tonight?"
She shrugs and glances up at me. "Food. Cards. Sleep." She smiles as she takes a drag and breathes the smoke out between her lips. "You seem happy. Good day?"
Do I? I return her shrug. "I have a date for tomorrow," I tell her. I don't really sound excited about it, I realize, but I guess that isn't a big surprise. Maybe she thinks I'm just being nonchalant because her eyebrows pop upward and she nods.
"Good for you. Who is he?"
"His name is Eike. Eike...something. Claviston, Clariston. Something like that, I don't really remember."
"Claviston is that big house across town, on that hill," she reports, sounding interested so that I'm actually getting a little interested, too. "Rich folks. There's a Richard Claviston, and his son, Richard Jr. I don't know an Eike. How old is he?"
"Oh, his thirties I think. Curly hair, dimples, sort of a flirt."
"Well, I don't know the family. Just rumours. His son's supposed to be around that age, I think." She flicks some ash into the tray beside her and rubs a thumb against the corner of her mouth. "So, that's tomorrow? Evening?"
"No, afternoon. I think supper dates have gone out of fashion."
Lily chuckles a little and I smile. And then she's quiet for a few moments. I suddenly want to change the subject. She knows what's there between me and Vincent, and I think she's been kind of hoping that we'll end up getting together. Vincent, she's told me, is lonely. A very responsible, devoted kind of person, even if he has trouble expressing himself because he seems afraid to get close to people. She doesn't know, I've guessed, about Lucrecia. She said once that she could see in his eyes that he'd lost someone, but his was a complicated and horrifying kind of love affair. He has more right to be afraid, I have to concede, than I do.
"So, what do you feel like eating? I've got some stuff over at my apartment for a recipe I found for chicken curry..."
She sighs a little and shrugs again, and I know she's going to say something. She knows she shouldn't, but she's going to. "You know, Vince may never say anything, but he does feel something for you. If you're going to date, don't do it behind his back..."
We've never argued about it before, though. But I know, and I don't want to hurt him either. "Lily, I know. It's all right. I'm not going to keep it from him if I do start dating regularly. But he must've expected that one day I might start looking for someone again."
"Oh, he's a man, Tifa. And a damn stubborn one at that. He doesn't look at what's right in front of him until it's so obvious he can't ignore it anymore." She's a little angry, but I'm not sure if she's angry at me or at Vincent. Maybe the both of us.
But I can't just wait for him forever without any idea if it will ever pay off. If I knew he was trying, or thinking about it, or anything, maybe. But as it is, I have no idea if he ever hopes for us to move beyond where we are. I'm inclined to think he likes things as they are now, but I can't stay here like this forever. I'm lonely, too, and more than just emotionally. I'm only human, and I'm only in my twenties.
"Lily, I don't want to hurt him. I really don't. You know I..." Whoops, almost. A lot of preconceived notions about that word, and I'm still not sure which notion I fall into. "...care for him, too. But he doesn't want a relationship with me; not like that."
"Well, maybe he just needs some time to get used to the idea." But she's not looking at me, and I know she knows the truth as well as I do. Vincent is the kind of person who hates to rock the boat. Even if it's obvious to everyone else that the boat is sinking. He's the kind of person who needs a push to get him moving in any new direction, and I'm not sure I'm patient enough just to push him and then wait to see if he catches on. I feel like a frayed thread sometimes, pulled in a lot of directions and unraveling a little more every day. I want him; he wants me. And one day it's either going to get out of hand and blow up in our faces, or I'm going to find someone else and we'll have to deal with that as it happens. There's no happy ending for us that I can see from here.
And Lily's not an optimist. She's a realist. And I know she's sees the truth like I do.
We're silent for a few minutes and I finish my tea. And then I can't leave it any longer. I reach over and pat her knuckles, smiling a little, though I know it looks a little sad. I can't help it. "Lily, I need to find someone else, or I'm going to get my heart broken. I think I'm falling in love with him."
And something in her expression suddenly conveys everything words can't say. "Oh, shit, Tifa..."
I smile again, almost a smirk. It's true, I think. Lily, you know the truth. You don't want me to get my heart broken. And, as responsible and devoted as he is, his fear is too great to take the risk with something that's been so recently broken before.
She takes my hand and squeezes it. And doesn't say anything more about it. We have chicken curry for supper.
* * *
You know, I actually wasn't going to have Lily in this story at all. But she didn't want to be left out, evidently. So, four parts to this little sequel, maybe. Unless I want to make one long chapter next time. We'll see, I guess.
Thanks for the reviews I got! I wasn't sure if anyone would notice this little thing at first. 'Into the Dark' does stand on its own, but it was unresolved. And, instead of leaving it to the imagination of the readers, I decided to make my own resolution. Yup. I'm terrible.
Illuminating the Dark -- Part Two
by: thelittletree
* * *
I knew it wouldn't be hard to set up the date. Just to flirt a little in a particular direction. He's a smart, Junon-educated man, he knew where I was heading. He's been trying to herd me there for weeks.
Tomorrow afternoon, coffee. A place not far from the store where they boast 'killer cappuccinos'. I don't work tomorrow, and he's introduced me to the idea of taking a couple of hours just to walk around Nibelheim's tiny downtown street, enjoy the sights, go to a park at the end of the road where there are benches and flowers and swings. I'll probably enjoy myself. He's already convinced me that he'll be good company.
His name is Eike. I've never known anyone named Eike before. Maybe an inch or so taller than Vincent, curly brown-hair just this side of unruly, and with this smile that makes you feel like your sharing some mischievous secret with him. Good-looking, and he always seems to have his hands in his pockets. Sophisticated, I said before, like a grown-up playboy. I won't kid myself, I know I'm probably one of five or ten girls he flirts with on a regular basis. But maybe that doesn't matter. I can imagine his fingers sneaking around my waist as we walk, his palm a broad warmth on my shoulder, his lips a soft impression on my temple as he smells my hair.
The first tentative steps toward intimacy, and he's probably done it a hundred times before. It might be nice to be with someone who knows the entire score. I can just let myself go along with it, be pursued by a virtuoso on the subject, forget about Vincent for one afternoon.
Oh, Vincent. I wish I had some solid indication that you thought it might be possible. I would be there, I would work my damnedest to convince you if I knew it wouldn't scare you away. I don't want Eike. But I'll take him if he's what I can get right now. I'm so tired of wishing I knew what your hand felt like in mine, what it's like to kiss the hollow under your ear, beside your jaw, what it's like to fall asleep beside you in weary satisfaction, so very comfortable with being naked and warm against you.
I only have my dreams.
Vincent's gone again, hunting outside of Kalm. He calls it hunting; I can't help but think of it in terms of 'feeding'. I don't know what he'd think of that, if he calls it 'hunting' like using a euphemism. Well, maybe it is better than saying, 'I'm going out to let the four monsters inside of me glut themselves on blood so that they don't pop up suddenly and try to eat the two of you.' Hmh. This is the man I'm falling for. My father's probably rolling in his grave. Though it says something about him that Vincent's as well-adjusted as he is.
I walk to Lily's after my shift. It's become a bit of a routine when Vincent's gone. I help her with supper, we put some of it in the freezer for him in lieu of his return, we eat, and then we talk, play cards, clean house, just hang around. She has a radio she picked up a week or two ago from a shop where it had been having its tubes replaced, and I don't think I've ever realized before how much fun it can be to dust a living room to the beat of a dance music station. Lily doesn't dance; she laughs at me and threatens to take a picture to show to Vincent. Not that I care very much about that. One day, I'm sure he'll walk in on me and raise an eyebrow. And I'll just tickle his ears with a feather duster, something Lily has already told me he absolutely abhors. And then he'll chase me around until he manages to get it away from me, and then, out of breath, we'll stand too close together and just kiss until I wake up.
Lily's in her kitchen smoking a cigarette and drinking some tea, as is usual for her around this time. I lent her a box of a raspberry tea I picked up in Kalm a long time ago and never got around to finishing, and she seems to like it a lot, if what's in the pot right now is any indication. I pour myself a cup, add milk and probably too much sugar, and go to sit down across from her. She sighs a little, working at the dirt under one nail.
"Well, he's gone."
"Yep." I take a sip from my mug. "What's on the agenda tonight?"
She shrugs and glances up at me. "Food. Cards. Sleep." She smiles as she takes a drag and breathes the smoke out between her lips. "You seem happy. Good day?"
Do I? I return her shrug. "I have a date for tomorrow," I tell her. I don't really sound excited about it, I realize, but I guess that isn't a big surprise. Maybe she thinks I'm just being nonchalant because her eyebrows pop upward and she nods.
"Good for you. Who is he?"
"His name is Eike. Eike...something. Claviston, Clariston. Something like that, I don't really remember."
"Claviston is that big house across town, on that hill," she reports, sounding interested so that I'm actually getting a little interested, too. "Rich folks. There's a Richard Claviston, and his son, Richard Jr. I don't know an Eike. How old is he?"
"Oh, his thirties I think. Curly hair, dimples, sort of a flirt."
"Well, I don't know the family. Just rumours. His son's supposed to be around that age, I think." She flicks some ash into the tray beside her and rubs a thumb against the corner of her mouth. "So, that's tomorrow? Evening?"
"No, afternoon. I think supper dates have gone out of fashion."
Lily chuckles a little and I smile. And then she's quiet for a few moments. I suddenly want to change the subject. She knows what's there between me and Vincent, and I think she's been kind of hoping that we'll end up getting together. Vincent, she's told me, is lonely. A very responsible, devoted kind of person, even if he has trouble expressing himself because he seems afraid to get close to people. She doesn't know, I've guessed, about Lucrecia. She said once that she could see in his eyes that he'd lost someone, but his was a complicated and horrifying kind of love affair. He has more right to be afraid, I have to concede, than I do.
"So, what do you feel like eating? I've got some stuff over at my apartment for a recipe I found for chicken curry..."
She sighs a little and shrugs again, and I know she's going to say something. She knows she shouldn't, but she's going to. "You know, Vince may never say anything, but he does feel something for you. If you're going to date, don't do it behind his back..."
We've never argued about it before, though. But I know, and I don't want to hurt him either. "Lily, I know. It's all right. I'm not going to keep it from him if I do start dating regularly. But he must've expected that one day I might start looking for someone again."
"Oh, he's a man, Tifa. And a damn stubborn one at that. He doesn't look at what's right in front of him until it's so obvious he can't ignore it anymore." She's a little angry, but I'm not sure if she's angry at me or at Vincent. Maybe the both of us.
But I can't just wait for him forever without any idea if it will ever pay off. If I knew he was trying, or thinking about it, or anything, maybe. But as it is, I have no idea if he ever hopes for us to move beyond where we are. I'm inclined to think he likes things as they are now, but I can't stay here like this forever. I'm lonely, too, and more than just emotionally. I'm only human, and I'm only in my twenties.
"Lily, I don't want to hurt him. I really don't. You know I..." Whoops, almost. A lot of preconceived notions about that word, and I'm still not sure which notion I fall into. "...care for him, too. But he doesn't want a relationship with me; not like that."
"Well, maybe he just needs some time to get used to the idea." But she's not looking at me, and I know she knows the truth as well as I do. Vincent is the kind of person who hates to rock the boat. Even if it's obvious to everyone else that the boat is sinking. He's the kind of person who needs a push to get him moving in any new direction, and I'm not sure I'm patient enough just to push him and then wait to see if he catches on. I feel like a frayed thread sometimes, pulled in a lot of directions and unraveling a little more every day. I want him; he wants me. And one day it's either going to get out of hand and blow up in our faces, or I'm going to find someone else and we'll have to deal with that as it happens. There's no happy ending for us that I can see from here.
And Lily's not an optimist. She's a realist. And I know she's sees the truth like I do.
We're silent for a few minutes and I finish my tea. And then I can't leave it any longer. I reach over and pat her knuckles, smiling a little, though I know it looks a little sad. I can't help it. "Lily, I need to find someone else, or I'm going to get my heart broken. I think I'm falling in love with him."
And something in her expression suddenly conveys everything words can't say. "Oh, shit, Tifa..."
I smile again, almost a smirk. It's true, I think. Lily, you know the truth. You don't want me to get my heart broken. And, as responsible and devoted as he is, his fear is too great to take the risk with something that's been so recently broken before.
She takes my hand and squeezes it. And doesn't say anything more about it. We have chicken curry for supper.
* * *
You know, I actually wasn't going to have Lily in this story at all. But she didn't want to be left out, evidently. So, four parts to this little sequel, maybe. Unless I want to make one long chapter next time. We'll see, I guess.
Thanks for the reviews I got! I wasn't sure if anyone would notice this little thing at first. 'Into the Dark' does stand on its own, but it was unresolved. And, instead of leaving it to the imagination of the readers, I decided to make my own resolution. Yup. I'm terrible.