Institute Drop-Out

After the fiasco back at the diner Lance decides to confront his former gym teacher.

Lance enters the chemistry lab and sees Mr. Hank with a whistle around his neck.

Lance- Hey Mr. Hank. That's a dandy whistle you got there.

Mr. Hank- Thanks Mr. Alvers. Want to hear me blow it?

Lance- You know what? I think I would.

Mr. Hank blows his whistle. Lance closes his eyes listening to the serene sound.

Mr. Hank- Now what is it you want Mr. Alvers?

Lance- Well I kind of want to impress this girl.

Mr. Hank- Wonderful! I'll get you on the track team in no time.

Lance- What?

Mr. Hank- Or would you rather join wrestling?

Lance- What? Oh. shit no! I don't want to be a wussy jock!

Mr. Hank- Then what is it?

Lance- I want to be an X-man.

Mr. Hank- *pauses for a moment* Uh. This seems too familiar. Haven't you said that before?

Lance- What?...Hey yeah! I did! When was that?

Mr. Hank- One second. *Goes on the internet and looks up X-men evolution episode guide* Mm.. hmm.

Lance- *looking over Mr. Hank's shoulder.* Season 2 maybe?

Mr. Hank- Aha! Joyride! One of my favorites.

Lance- No kidding. Well I guess I'd better go into Joyride. Catch ya later coach.

Mr. Hank- *Still looking at the site* Actually. no you won't. In an earlier episode I'm supposed to turn into a giant blue gorilla that terrorizes Bayville.

Lance pauses for a moment.

Lance- Go figure.

Mr. Hank- *laughing* Yeah I know! Goodbye Mr. Alvers.

~After the Joyride episode~

Kitty and Lance are sitting at the diner again having two milkshakes and burgers because that's all the diner serves in this story.er...musical.

Kitty- Well I guess since it was such a good episode I'll forgive you.

Lance- Thanks! *Mutter* finally.*end mutter*

Kitty- What was that?

Lance- Nothing. Look I'm just glad we can have a little alone time for once.

Kitty- *smiles all cute like* Yeah me too.

Lance- *smiles all happy like* Yeah.

Kitty- Yeah!

Lance- Yeah!!!

Tabitha- YEAH!

Lance and Kitty look over at Tabitha in fear.

Kitty- Like, where did you come from?!

Tabitha- You mean we.

Tabitha, Peitro, Remy, Rouge, Todd, Wanda, Fred, and .Cindy were all standing around Lance and Kitty smiling creepy like.

Remy- We've become hungry and decided to join you so you can pay for our food.

Lance- You're kidding right? I ain't paying for your stinkin'-

Rouge- Waiter! Ah'll have uh burger an' milkshake.

Tabitha- Same here!

Everyone else- SAME!!!

Lance- Why is everyone so fricken' happy?

Pietro- The race is back on!

Lance- When?

Wanda- After the dance.

Lance- What dance?

Todd- Da one before da race.

Lance- Oh. Hey Kitty! Wanna go to the dance with me?

Rouge- It's a Sadie Hawkins dance.

Lance- Oh ok. Hey Kitty! Wanna go to the Sadie Hawkins dance with me?

Rouge- Girls ask guys moron!

Lance- Sheesh you're edgy!

Remy- She's always like this. *puts his arm around Rouge* Right mon chere?

Rouge- Don't man cherry me! Git your arm off me, Swamp rat!

Remy- What is it with you today? Jealous of my new car?

Peitro- Actually it's my car. I'm the one who stole it.

Kitty- *holding a finger up to state a fact* Then it wouldn't be either of yours' car. It would belong to whoever you stole it from.

Everyone stares at her as crickets churp in the background.

Peitro- Why is she here?

Lance- Why are YOU here? This was supposed to be Kitty and me time. *starts to pout*

Kitty- *pats Lance's arm* There there.

Peitro- Well the dance is going to be aired on television so maybe we can try out our powers to make the world fear us on national television.

Fred- Yeah and it has food.

Cindy- I like food.

Fred- Really?

Everything becomes fuzzy as Fred and Cindy Lauper stare into each other's eyes.

Cindy- Yeah. And I like candy. *stats singing "I want Candy."*

Fred- I love it when you sing.

Cindy- I love it when you eat.

Fred- Want to go to the dance with me? You can sing and I'll eat.

Cindy- Yes!

Fred and Cindy Lauper run out of the diner holding hands. Others watch them confused.

Kitty- How.romantic?

Todd- Hey dimpledumps. How 'bout you go to the dance with yours truly?

Wanda- How about I hex you?

Todd- How about we do both?

Wanda- Ugh! I'm outa' here.

Walks out with Todd following her.

Rouge- Ah said git off of me! Think about the baby.

Remy- Baby???

Rouge- Oh crap. Uh.

Remy- There's an enfant in you?

Rouge- Ah don't know ya Cajun crack head! Why don't you try being uh little sensitive towards me!

Remy- How about I finish with you instead? *Puts his arm around Tabitha*

Rouge- How about I do something once the waitress comes with our milkshakes!

Waitress- Here's your milkshakes.

Rouge grabs a milkshake and tosses it towards Remy. It hits Tabitha.

Tabitha- What the hell?!

Lance- So how was your day Kitty?

Kitty- Ok. So would you like to go to the dance with me?

Rouge grabs another milkshake and thrusts it towards Remy. It just misses him once again hitting Tabitha.

Tabitha- Ah!

Rouge- What is up with mah aim?

Lance- I don't know, Kitty. I'll have to think about it.

Rouge throws two milkshakes at the same time and hits Remy right in the face.

Rouge- To you from me Pinky lee! * About to run out of the diner* Sorry Tabitha.

Tabitha wipes the milkshake off her eyes in disgust.

Tabitha- Sorry? SORRY??? You bitch!

Tabitha throws a bomb at Rouge. It blows up right in Rouge's face. Rouge turns around in anger and jumps Tabitha.

They wrestle screaming obscenities.

Remy- Well salut! *Walks past the fighting mutants*

Peitro- Well, bettergobeforethewaitressmakesmepay!!!!!

*Zip!* Peitro zooms away.

Lance- Pay? Hey Kitty I just thought about it. Sure I'll go with you.

Kitty- Yay!

Lance- Let's go! *Grabs Kitty's hand and runs out before the waitress comes*

Rouge- Pay? *Touches Tabitha making her blackout on the table. Runs off with the others.*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An hour later the waitress is closing up and notices the passed out girl.

Waitress- It's closing time kid.

Tabitha- Wha? Oh.well let me just lie here for a while.

Waitress- I got a better idea. You can help me close up.

Tabitha- *sounding drunk* Can I ask you a question? If you were, say, a mutant and had a choice between staying at a fancy mansion and wearing spandex, or staying at a crap house and wear whatever you want which would you choose?

Waitress- I think you've had too many milkshakes. But I'd choose fancy. Does the crappy house cause you to die your hair pink?

Tabitha- What? *Looks at her reflection from the dark window* That's milkshake in my hair. Stupid Rouge.

Waitress- Get some sleep and figure it out when you're not a drunken hussy.*Walks off*

Tabitha- Ok. *Passes out on the table again and begins to dream..*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Tabitha sleeps she sees in her dream a giant stairway that resembles the X-men mansion except everything is metallic silver and white.
Tabitha is still sitting on the table looking at the top of the staircase where a shadowed figure begins to sing.

Institute Drop-Out

Your story's sad to tell A teenage blond bombshell A reckless young delinquent understate

Your future is a sure call A year or two in Juvi hall But now there is a way to clean your slate.

(Music picks up and all the x-men girl recruits are sitting on their own step swaying to the music singing 'la la la'. A spotlight comes out and points at Professor Xavier right as he starts to sing at the top of the stair case.)

Xavier- Institute drop-out, You try to make it on you own.

Institute Drop-Out, Cause you think you're bad To the bone.

But you have to see the brighter side Of being with Xavier With a month or two We'd turn you into A teenage mutant saver Boom Boom We know it

Girls- We know it

Xavier- You think we X-men are a snore Boom Boom we show it

Girls- We show it

Xavier- Well we don't wear make up like a whore.

The Hex ladies are trashy, now is that who you are Get away from that group And come back to Xavier.

(Xavier takes a glass elevator down and wheels over to Tabitha. Uses his mind to lift the x-girls so that they circle around the room.)

Institute leaver Don't throw a cherry bomb at me Be a receiver Of pride in the good girl you can be

You can become your own heroine And become a classy grown up And remember all the cool machines I have that you can blow up?

Back in the B-house

Girls- Back in the B-house Xavier- Where everything smells like Freddy's ass Back in the mansion

Girl- Back in the mansion.

Xavier- Now that's a place that has real class

We have the X-jet Rahne as a pet Come on see this my way The more X-men I have the more I have a say

(Jubilee starts shooting fireworks they fly around.)

Institute Drop-Out, Come to Xavier Institute Drop-Out, Come to Xavier Institute Drop-Out, Come to Xavier

Tabitha- Hey! Wait a second! This isn't a dream! You're just using your damned mind powers on me!

Suddenly the metallic set disappears and they're back in the diner. Xavier clasps his hands together as the girls continue flying.

Xavier- I believe you are right Tabitha. But even so I must-

Tabitha- Forget it, X! I ain't joining your stinkin' joint anytime soon so you can just wheel your crippled self back to your fancy mansion.

Xavier looks down sad as though he might cry and slowly wheels his way out the door. Once the door closes behind him his mind control abandons the flying girls. They all fall to the ground screaming and grunting.

Once they regain themselves they walk out of the diner, ahead of Tabitha, mumbling.

Jubilee- Stupid bald loser.

Amara- Owie.

Rahne- I can't move my arm.

Tabitha- Stupid song.

Closes the door behind her and walks home.