Okay, it's not really quiet that bad, but it could have been. After seeing the final chapter on-screen, I did decide to edit it down. I can probably thank Sawnya from the VALL web-forums for that… But this chapter is still pretty inappropriate. You'll feel dumber for having read it.
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Don't say I didn't warn you…
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The cafeteria, noontime…The Bayville High commons, as it often was, was packed. Save for the foolhardy souls who dared to brave the parking lot, the entire student body was milling about. The jocks were clustered around the a la cart line, the fashion girls were lingering under the north skylight, the preps occupied two tables along the hall entrances, the musicians claimed the three next to them, the drama crowd found themselves uncomfortably wedged between the jocks and a table of sullen trench-coated Goth-holdouts, while the techies had grabbed the center of the commons for themselves, devoting one table for spectator chess, another for cards, and a full two tables for a round-table debate about whether Babylon 5 was or was not the most kick-ass television show of all time. Other non-aligned cliques claimed tables around the center, using the techies' proximity to define an informal neutral ground. In the background, a recording of the most recent choir concert was played over the school speakers.
In the midst of such chaos, a lone boy picked his way to his designated table.
"Ah!" Loudly proclaimed Kurt, as he dropped a cardboard basket on the table. He promptly slung his backpack over a chair and took a seat. "Lunch! My favorite meal of ze day!"
Scott and Evan, who were already sitting down, stopped eating and stared at Kurt.
"How can you call that a meal?" Asked Evan. "Three slices of Pizza? That's school cafeteria pizza, Kurt!"
"And fries!" Responded Kurt, happily pulling a wad of napkins out of his pocket. "Can't forget about the fries."
Scott shook his head and continued peeling the orange he had brought from the mansion.
Evan stared blankly. "Kurt, I can see through that cardboard. There's seriously that much grease in there."
Kurt flashed Evan a grin. "Ah, you're just jealous that you're stuck eating boring old sandwiches…" After a quick laugh, Kurt grabbed the first slice of pizza and began chowing down.
Evan watched Kurt eat with a horrid fascination usually reserved for train wrecks. After a moment, he looked down at his own sandwich and grimaced.
Scott continued to casually eat his orange.
"How can you still have an appetite after seeing him eat like that?" Asked Evan out of the corner of his mouth.
Scott leaned closer to Evan. "What makes you think I'm seeing anything?"
Evan looked over at Scott. The boy smirked, but his eyes remained completely invisible behind his sunglasses. Evan started grumbling and forced himself to continue eating his sandwich.
Just as Kurt was starting on his second slice of pizza, the music was abruptly cut off. Several mechanical thuds were broadcast, and the chatter of the commons quickly died down. With his mouth still full of food, Kurt joined the rest of the students in looking expectantly at the speakers.
"Ahem," a voice began. There were brief sounds of a microphone being adjusted. "That was the Bayville High Singers' performance of… Ah, I don't know. Something in Greek."
"Latin," a voice corrected.
"Toad and Alvers," observed Evan. "This can't be good."
Scott scowled. "Bet Dukes is there, too…"
"Latin then," finished Lance Alvers. "And now, a very special performance by the Men's Harmonic Glee Club. Today they will be singing… Kurt's Mom is a Stupid Bitch."
Kurt's eye's widened, and his mouth fell open.
"In D minor."
There was a slight pause, during which kids at nearby tables stared at Kurt in curiosity.
A long kazoo note was played to set the tune.
"Wee—eeel…" Alvers held the note until the kazoo cut off. When it did, he proceeded at breakneck tempo. "Kurt's mom's a bitch! She's a big fat bitch. She's the big-gest bitch in the whole wide world! She's a stupid bitch, if there ever was a bitch. She's a bitch to all the boys and girls…"
Kurt let out a whimper.
The kazoo hit a quick two notes and a toy piano joined in.
"On Monday she's a bitch. On Tuesday she's a bitch. From Wednesday through Saturday she's a—"
"Alvers! Tolanski!"
The music abruptly cut of as several people could be heard barging through a door.
A girlish screech echoed through the commons. "It's Mr. Hale, yo!"
"Dukes!"
"Why, Principle Kelly!" Stuttered Lance. "What're you—"
"My office, Alvers," the principle yelled. "Now! Tolanski, Dukes, you too!"
"Hey, why d'we have ta—" Another girlish scream cut off Todd's whining.
"I'm going," a new voice meekly agreed. "Just getting my other kazoos…"
"Keep moving…" Warned the deep voice of the school's senior janitor.
There were a few sounds of the microphone being adjusted again. "Please excuse this interruption, students. We will get back to the Singers' performance shortly, as soon as we deal with some technical and…" Kelly's voice trailed off for a moment. "Other difficulties…"
"I told you we shouldn't have done this live," muttered Lance, right before the mike was cut off.
For a moment, silence hung over the commons. Then a jock laughed, signaling the return to normalcy. Within moments, the interruption was forgotten.
By most students, at least.
"Uh, look, Kurt…" Evan frowned, not quite sure what to say. "Nobody's going to take those guys seriously."
Kurt didn't respond. He didn't even move. With his head facedown on the table, and his arms wrapped defensively around his head, he refused to acknowledge anything in the outside world.
"Really," Evan reassured. "No one! And besides, they aren't getting away with anything! The Brotherhood got caught, and now they're going to get punished."
Kurt remained motionless.
"But not for lying…" Scott added under his breath.
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