A/N: Last day in Connecticut for our characters. I was in New York and Seattle this week for work and felt some inspiration. Enjoy and as always, I look forward to hearing from you.
Chapter 6
Derek awoke to the loud sound of familiar voices talking and laughing from downstairs. He squinted through the morning sunlight peaking in through the curtains and looked down to find a mess of red hair fanned out across his chest.
He smiled at seeing Addison in such a state and was careful not to wake her as he stretched towards the nightstand to check the time on his watch. The hands pointed to 7:30AM. He didn't want to start Addison's day for her. He didn't want her to have to go through this day at all. But it was inevitable and if he didn't wake her soon, he was worried someone else would come upstairs and do it for him.
"Addison," he whispered as he stroked her hair in an attempt to brush it all to one side.
She stirred and a little noise escaped her lips as she stretched her body against him. He felt her legs, smooth as silk, slide against his.
"Good morning," he spoke softly. He watched confusion flash across her face until her eyes rested on him and the memories of the day before came rushing back to her.
"Good morning." She sat up on her elbow and gave him a small, uncertain smile.
Pots and pans clanged downstairs, and they both turned their head towards the noise.
"I believe that would be your brother trying to make himself breakfast for the first time in his life," Derek joked. He pulled the comforter back and Addison sighed at the loss of heat.
"Or, your sister," she quipped.
He looked up, exaggeratedly considering what she had said. "That's fair…but which one?"
There was another abrupt clanging of dishware and a collective frustrated cry, "Amelia!"
Addison turned to Derek and smirked. "I'm guessing the youngest one."
A hush fell over the group when Derek and Addison entered the kitchen together. Naomi, Sam, Amelia, and Nancy sat at the table, sharing a messy platter of scrambled eggs and bacon.
Nancy was the first to speak. "Good morning you two. Amelia attempted eggs, as you can see. Come over and grab a bite. Plates are over there," she pointed to the island counter. "I came by early to help out. I met the florist out front. The flowers are just beautiful, Addison."
Addison, still standing, bit into a piece of bacon, to qualm everyone's concern about her eating habits as of late. "They should be. Bizzy picked them out herself," she noted without looking up from her bacon.
Derek leaned in to whisper in Addison's ear, "Sorry about Nancy."
Addison could hear the smile in his voice.
Nancy cleared her throat. "They truly are. Well, Kathleen is going to come by after-"
"Kathleen?" Derek cut in, standing up straighter. "Why is Kathleen coming?" He wasn't prepared for a family reunion of his own.
"Oh, calm down little Brother. She's just stopping by to see Addison after the interment. No need to panic." She sprinkled a pinch of salt over her eggs. "Anyways, I checked in with everyone and it looks like everything is in order, so you don't need to worry about a thing, Addie."
Addison was grateful for the pressure to be taken off her. She certainly couldn't rely on Archer or the Captain. "Thank you, Nancy. The heart attack was so sudden and handling everything can feel overwhelming at times, so I really appreciate the help."
"Aneurysm," Amelia corrected, eyeing Addison carefully.
"What?" Addison gave her a pointed look.
"You said heart attack," Naomi volunteered. "But it was an aneurysm, right?"
Addison held Naomi's gaze. "It was an aneurysm. It's early and I'm tired," she said in an even tone.
The group exchanged a look and Addison felt herself becoming antsy. "Well, I'm going to get dressed. I'll see all of you after the interment," she stated and made a swift exit.
Once she had disappeared up the stairs, Amelia chimed in. "So, that was weird. We all agree, right?"
"Amelia, don't start," Derek stressed. He poured a heaping mug of coffee for himself before turning to her. "She's exhausted. Give her a break."
Amelia threw her hands up defensively. "Am I the only one that's noticed her this weekend? The bags under her eyes are carrying their own damn luggage at this point and she looks like she hasn't eaten in thirty years."
"You know appetite loss is prevalent in grief. She's grieving." He narrowed his eyes at her in warning.
Amelia, fearless as always, trudged on. "Okay, but she's been grieving for four days. You don't lose that much weight in four days. I'm blaming you for this, Derek. She looks unhealthy."
Derek shot her a look. "I didn't notice when she came to Seattle. We weren't exactly staying together, you know. The separation, Bizzy, it's been a lot for her."
"You two don't look very separated to me," Sam noted, waggling his eyebrows.
Derek groaned and snatched two pieces of bacon off the platter. He pointed one at Sam's face. "Mind your own business," he threatened playfully before biting into it.
The wind whipped at Addison's face, causing her cheeks and nose to flush red. She clasped her hands in front of her so tightly that her knuckles had turned white. Her shoulders sat high, tense as a bowstring and she couldn't tell if it was from the cold or from trying to remain as stoic as possible.
The officiant read a passage from his bible, but it might as well have been lost in the wind, for Addison could only hear Bizzy's voice in her head. She filtered through all the criticisms and demands her mother had made over the course of her life and finally replayed their last conversation in her mind. There weren't many pleasant memories, but she tried to recall the few. Addison had never been enough for her mother and now she never would be. Her failures were eternalized by Bizzy's suicide.
Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard someone burst into a fit of sobs. She looked around to find the source and was shocked to find Archer doubled over in tears. She gawked at him for a moment and then quickly turned away from him. Displays of emotion unnerved her when she was at her parents' home, and in this moment, she felt it more than she ever had before. Maybe Bizzy really had possessed her.
The Captain was green in the face and Addison was sure it was from drinking himself to death the night before and not from his wife's funeral. She felt irritation sticking her in the side like a hot needle. He always had the nerve to be the most selfish person in the room. He couldn't even stay sober long enough to put Bizzy in the ground.
Derek stood a respectful distance behind her, but she could feel him looming there. He was always looming now. It was as if she had adopted a new shadow. And she wasn't accustomed to having him be so attentive towards her. She couldn't remember how to act properly in front of him anymore.
The officiant droned on, giving his speech that had comforted so many families before hers. But that was not how she felt. She felt lost and angry. She was angry that her mother's last jab was to force Addison to keep her suicide secret. She was angry at a lot of things, but as she watched Bizzy's casket being slowly lowered into the ground, Addison found a moment of compassion for her mother and her own trials life threw at her. Once Bizzy was in her final resting place, each of the Montgomery's took a handful of earth and leaned over the burial site to scatter it over the casket. She stared at the glossy mahogany casket for just a moment longer than the others and said a silent prayer of her own; a prayer that her mother be spared of any more heartache, wherever she may be now.
"If you need anything, anything at all, call me." Naomi squeezed Addison in a tight embrace. "You always have a place in L.A., you know."
Sam leaned in for a hug as well. "You certainly do."
"Thank you, both of you," Addison said and gave them a small, genuine smile of appreciation. "L.A. does sound nice after this weekend."
"We can't lose anyone else to the California sun," Nancy chimed in as she joined the circle.
Sam gave her a cheeky smile and slung an arm around Naomi. They gave a final quick wave before retreating to their running car.
"They are a cute couple, aren't they?" Nancy asked as they watched them walk away.
Addison smiled at her and Derek's longtime friends. She suddenly wished they had spent more time with them after medical school. Maybe her and Derek could have used their relationship as positive influence on their own.
Kathleen squeezed Addison's arm from behind, causing her to jump and spin around.
"Sorry," she laughed. "Didn't mean to scare you." She stuck her hand out to present a beautiful bouquet of flowers with a card neatly tucked in at the top.
Addison discreetly rubbed at the tender bruise where Kathleen's hand had landed. "Oh, these are beautiful, Kathleen. Thank you. That's very thoughtful." Addison took the bouquet and inhaled their sweet scent.
"I'm sorry I couldn't be here last night. Emergency with a patient," Kathleen explained.
Addison gave her a knowing look. "I understand that. Thank you for stopping by anyway. You didn't have to do all of this, but it is wonderful to see you."
"Of course, Addie. You know we all love you. Are you staying for New Year's, or going back to New York?"
Addison could see Derek shifting on his feet at the mention of staying in Connecticut or New York and she wasn't quite sure what that meant. She looked back at Kathleen and shrugged. "Haven't decided yet, but I'll let you know if we make it to New York."
Kathleen nodded, happy with her answer. "It's always lovely to see you. Miss you already," she said before she leaned in for a kiss on the cheek.
"Yes, indeed!" Nancy piped up. She quickly wrapped Addison in a hug and turned to hug Derek as well, despite his objection. "We'll see the two of you again soon, won't we?"
Derek gave her an exhausted smile. "You know you'll see us again. Now get out of here," he joked as he kicked snow in their direction.
"Okay, okay. Sheesh!" Kathleen exclaimed. Both sisters held their hands up in defense and finally departed to their respective cars.
The last to say their goodbyes was Amelia. She pulled Addison into a long hug and leaned in to whisper in her ear, "I love you, Addie. Please, call me if you need anything. I'm serious. Or if you don't need anything, just call." She leaned back to look Addison in the eye and gave her a concerned look. Derek patted his youngest sister on the back and pulled her into a quick embrace.
Addison gave her a small, appreciative smile. Amelia could read Addison in an unnervingly accurate way. She had always been able to, but that's why they were the closest out of any of Derek's family members. She considered Amelia to be her own little sister. She worried about her as well, given her history of substance abuse and she wondered if she was still on the straight and narrow.
Amelia walked away and tossed her head back to give them one last glance before she disappeared inside her car.
Derek sat on the edge of Addison's bed and watched as she gazed out of her glass balcony doors. "Come back to Seattle with me. We have surgeries and I know you haven't formally resigned with Richard."
"We also have interns to teach, I suppose," Addison said, tossing her head back to look at Derek.
"That's not why I want to go back. You'll love Seattle once you've gotten settled in, just like I've come to love Seattle," he said unconvincingly.
Addison crossed her arms and leaned against the wall. "It's not New York."
Derek looked at her pleadingly. "I know it's not New York, but-"
"And you live in a sardine can," she finished.
"We'll get a proper place. It's a beautiful piece of land. But the trailer is still going to be on it someplace." He winked jokingly.
Addison gave him a deadpan expression. "Fine, but it can't be visible. At all. And you can't wear flannel all the time."
"Fine? Seriously?" Derek stood up, a hopeful glimmer in his eye.
"Yes, we can try Seattle. But if my hair gets frizzy from the constant rain, we're going back to New York, and I mean it. And no raw fish in the house," she added quickly.
A smile bloomed across Derek's face. "Deal."
"Are you all packed?" Derek asked as he folded the last of his shirts into his suitcase.
"I think so," Addison murmured, checking over her toiletries and shoes one last time. "I'll meet you down at the car. I just need a minute."
Derek nodded in understanding and slung her duffle bag over his shoulder. "Don't worry about the bags; I'll get them."
She waited until he had left the room to peer out over her balcony one more time, to look on at the last changes Bizzy had made to the garden. It had always been Bizzy who updated things around the house. She wondered what the Captain would do now that her mother was gone. Then again, he never did have a problem finding company.
She walked down the hall, thinking about life after this weekend. What would it look like in Seattle now? She couldn't imagine a scenario in which Derek stayed. If she couldn't be intimate, if she couldn't get past Christmas night, if he was around Meredith again, if she never came to love the new city, his new city, he could leave her. She was sure she would inevitably have to go back to the townhome. There were too many variables and yet, she knew she couldn't stay in Connecticut, nor could she face the townhome alone. It suddenly seemed like the only option and so here she was, going back into the belly of the beast.
She stopped outside of her mother's bedroom. The sinking feeling hit her all over again, but she felt it necessary to take one last look in remembrance of Bizzy.
She cracked the door and then opened it fully. The heavy velvet drapes still hung in their proper place. The bed was still neatly made up and the towels were still folded and stacked precariously on the footstool by the bathroom door. Some things would never change; nevertheless, life would go on around them. She retreated from the room and slowly shut the door behind her, encasing visions of her mother and the letter in there.
Addison and Derek moved around seemingly hordes of people in the Bradley International Airport, tugging their suitcases behind them. Addison enjoyed being in busy airports. The sheer volume and rushed atmosphere made her feel at home.
Derek, on the other hand, required three hours and dubious planning to alleviate his anxieties about missing a flight.
She looked over to him and rolled her eyes at his level of concentration while reading the signs and the speed at which he was maneuvering his way through the airport.
"Honey, we have plenty of time. I doubt the plane is even here, considering we are…" she glanced at her watch, "two hours early."
"I'll feel better once we're at the gate and we have enough time to get coffee," he responded with a panicked look.
Addison smirked and rolled her eyes again. "I'm sure we'll have time for coffee."
After what felt like several miles, they finally approached their gate and much to her surprise, the inbound plane was already there and attached to the jet bridge.
Seeing the plane made the pit of her stomach flutter. The realization that she was, in fact, going back to Seattle hit her like a freight train and she had to support herself against her suitcase handle, for fear she would collapse right there on the airport floor.
"Hey, you okay?" Derek asked and she felt a warm hand press against her arm.
"Yes," she nodded and swallowed a lump that had formed in her throat. "Just nervous."
Derek furrowed his eyebrows. "You've never been a nervous flyer," he exclaimed.
Addison swept her eyes to his. "Seattle," was all she said.
"It'll be okay, Addie." He gestured for her to sit down, and she obliged with contentment. He sat down next to her and caught her eye. "Everything is going to be okay," he reassured.
Addison could only nod unconvincingly and she felt her throat close tighter and tighter.
Ch.7 coming soon.