A/N: I know that this isn't really how it happens in DA but hey. This is
how it's gonna be in my story. Thanx for all the reviews guys, I know it's
been a while. I had this chap written for about a week and my stupid
computer wouldn't let me upload it. ( me and technology just don't go. I
havent really decided whether this is gonna be M/A or A/A, so we'll just
see how it goes.
................................
The Next Day
Alec was watching the music videos, his head bouncing to the beat. Joshua was behind him trying to read. Finally he sighed, "Alec, boob tube too loud."
"Well, that's the only way to enjoy it," Alec said, his concentration still on the TV. "Come here and watch."
Joshua rolled over to the chair Alec was perched on. He looked at all the flashing colors, "Tricks and treats," he said.
"Welcome to the world of attention deficit," Alec said, he went to continue when a news bulletin cut in.
It showed a transgenic attacking the police and finally being killed. They watched it in silence and then Alec stood up and said that they needed to call Max. He got dressed when he heard the doorbell ring.
"Annie," Joshua said.
Alec looked at him in alarm. They sooo didn't need this now. "You have to send her away Joshua, send her away before she gets hurt too." Joshua looked at him sadly, clearing not wanting to even though he heard the sense in his friends words. What he didn't see was the anguish that Alec himself was feeling for having to make Josh do this.
Joshua opened the door and talked to Annie, Alec stayed in the corridor leaning against the wall, wanting to give them space. He heard the door start to close and went to his friend when Annie yelled, "Joshua!"
Alec saw her outstretched hand, he saw the tears that were forming in Joshua's eyes as he went and stood in the doorway. He saw her hand coming towards his face. He felt her fingertips brush over his eyelids, his mouth. He closed his eyes, reveling in the feelings that a single touch could evoke in him. He could practically feel the emotions coming off of the woman in front of him and for the first time in his life he wished that he was somebody else. He wished that he was Joshua. He wished that he was the half dog guy. All because he had something that Alec himself had lost long ago. To have this wonderful woman care for him as much as she cared for Joshua was something that he really wanted. He didn't want her to stop touching him, he hadn't felt like this since...since Rachel. When she finally turned away and left, he stood at the door for what seemed like forever. Just trying to keep the feeling of being touched in his mind. He turned to face Joshua, he saw the tears that were now falling down his cheeks and said, "I know that it's hard buddy. She's safe though, that's all that matters. Trust me, in a while the fact that she's safe is all that will matter to you. trust me."
Joshua looked at him through blurry eyes, he saw the pain his friend was also in. He knew that Alec understood his pain almost as well as he did himself and he pulled Alec into a hug. They just stood there for a while, needing the reassurance that none of them could put into words. Then Joshua pulled away, keeping a hand on Alec's arm and dragged him towards the basement. "Play," he said. Alec looked at him and smiled sadly. This was something that they both needed. They just needed to know that they weren't alone.
..............................
Max stumbled through her doorway, almost blinded by her tears.
"Boo, what's wrong?" OC asked in concern, walking over to pull her into a hug. Max just continued to sob into her shoulder so she pulled her onto the couch, never letting go of her grief stricken friend.
"It's Logan," Max stuttered. "I.he." she couldn't get anymore out, she was crying so hard.
"What did he do?" OC asked, her eyes narrowing. Max stopped crying enough to finally tell her what happened. OC stared at her in shock, she couldn't believe that Logan felt that way. She just continued to hold her friend as her sobs finally ceased and she fell into a fitful sleep on her shoulder. OC on the other hand didn't fall asleep, her mind still going over what Max had told her. She was so angry at Logan for getting Max even more upset than she already was, she wanted to go over there right now and put the smack down on that old man's ass. No wait, she thought, I don't wanna touch that ass, she shivered with disgust. Max woke up when she felt OC moving, she looked into her friends concerned eyes, gave her a tiny smile and said that she was gonna go for a ride on her baby.
She left the apartment and drove straight to the space needle, she needed to sort things out. She sat near the edge just looking out at the city, not really seeing it but gazing at it just the same. Her mind drifted over to what happened earlier.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"I saw him, over at your place earlier," Logan drawled, swaying as he stood.
"Logan, you've had too much to drink," Max said, "I just came here to give you this," she handed over Joshua's necklace.
"Ahh but you only came in because you thought that I was out," Logan said, watching her with narrowed eyes.
Max stared at the ground, unable to meet his eyes. Logan continued, "Tell me it's not true, tell me you're not with that irresponsible idiot."
"He's not an idiot, he might be irresponsible sometimes but he's not an idiot," Max snapped at him.
"Oh, so now that you're with him he's totally changed Max, tell me how many times have I heard you call him that yourself huh?"
"I was wrong about him," she whispered.
"Ha," Logan snorted, "You're just like the other women, you can't see past his pretty face."
Max looked at him, he was so drunk he didn't even know what he was saying.
"You deserve better," he continued, "You shouldn't be hanging around with trash like him anyway."
"He's not trash," she stated.
"Yes, he is. He's just a murderer Max, a womanizing murderer."
"Well then I guess I must be a murderer too then huh?" she flashed at him.
"No Max. you're different to him, to them. You aren't like them at all. You don't belong with them, you belong with me," he looked at her beseechingly. Max looked him, unable to believe what he was saying.
"Logan, I am just like them. I was made like them, I grew up like them!"
"But you got away. You learned how to live again, they didn't. They don't understand you like I can."
Max looked at him, her mind deep in thought. "No, Logan. You cant understand me like they can." She turned around and walked away.
He watched her go but yelled out one last time. "You cant trust him Max, you know you cant. You'll have to spend the rest of your life looking after him. You can't trust him!"
He was answered with the sound of the door slamming shut.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Max sat there, tears streaming down her face. Logan's last words going around her head - you can't trust him. She wished with all her heart that she did trust Alec but there was just something that was holding her back. She didn't know what it was. Maybe it was just that he seemed to screw up so much. She knew that he had made it up to her but she was still concerned about the way he handled things. She still loved Logan, she knew she did but then she had feeling these things for Alec as well. She just didn't understand. She knew that Alec would always be there for her, she knew it. She heard footsteps behind her and said, "I come here to be alone."
"Yeah, I know but I thought that with everything that had gone down today, we might both be needing some company."
Max glanced sideways at him. "OC rang you didn't she?" she sighed.
He didn't reply, just sat next to her and put his arm around her shoulders. She felt safe with him, she didn't want that feeling to go away.
He looked at her sitting there, so sad and alone. When OC rang and told him that she and Logan had a fight, he just thought what's new? They fight, they break up, and they get back together. He was disappointed though, when she said that she was gonna stay away from him, he had believed her. You are such a chump Alec, he thought to himself. Then he realized that OC was still talking, asking him to go after her and he agreed. He wanted to make sure that she was ok, that and that and the fact that he could still feel Annie's hand on his face. He needed the comfort and so did she.
He put his arm around her and waiting for the bitching to begin but when she started leaning into him he realized that she was way more upset then he had thought she was. He just sat there, enjoying the feeling of her when she turned to him. Her eyes so dark and enticing, she licked her lips and he felt himself being drawn to them. He covered them briefly with own and when she didn't pull away, he deepened the kiss. All of a sudden he pulled away. "Logan," he said, his voice breaking. Damn that conscience he thought to himself.
Max just shook her head and whispered, "I need you Alec." He looked at the tears forming in her eyes and took her back into his arms.
"You need me Max, but I'm not the one that you WANT. You know Max, usually there would be no way in hell that I'd say no to you but you're upset, you don't know what you want. And I don't...I don't.."
Max looked up at him, wondering what he was going to say.
"I don't want to be some play thing you can just throw away once you and Logan are back together," he finished quietly, unable to look into her eyes.
"I don't know what to do Alec," she whispered, clutching his jacket, afraid he was going to leave.
"Then just leave it how it is now ok? Choose when you do know," he stared deep into her eyes, "That way I know that you've chosen me for me and not because you couldn't have him."
She lay her head onto his shoulder and held her close. He wanted her so badly but he needed more from her, he wanted more from her. He wanted her heart.
.............................
Andy whistled while she walked into work. It had been a good night. She had got her units all organized, they had started their training again. I just wish that stupid lazy CO would turn up, she thought. She couldn't do anything with the other units, sure they all started training again when she said that when their CO turned up he would expect them to be in top shape but other than that, they just ignored her and Andy didn't like to be ignored.
She breezed pass the boss, saying a cheery hello but stopped dead when she saw Max. Her hair was tied up. She had never seen her hair tied up before, she looked different. Different and yet familiar. She gasped as her mind began going through the nightmares she had been having for the past ten years. A little girl smiling and laughing, a little girl who looked just like miniature version of Max. She saw herself with the little Max playing around with..with..who. But the memory was gone as quickly as it came.
Max looked at her in concern. "Hey Andy, you alright?" she asked.
Andy started in surprise, "Oh yeah. I'm fine. I mean, why wouldn't I be?" she gave them a big smile and walked off to collect a package.
Max stared after her concerned. "Well, her 'why wouldn't I be' sounds just like your 'I'm always alright' bullshit," she said to Alec. He just grinned and opened his locker. Max looked at Andy again, she turned as she was heading out the door and her eyes met Max's. The expression in them scared Max, but she didn't know why.
...........................
Andy sat on her bike just staring at the handlebars. She didn't know what was happening to her. She was so confused, she needed to talk to someone. Now. She pulled herself together and started for Terminal City, hoping to find the answers she needed among the toxic dump.
....................................
Please Review!!
................................
The Next Day
Alec was watching the music videos, his head bouncing to the beat. Joshua was behind him trying to read. Finally he sighed, "Alec, boob tube too loud."
"Well, that's the only way to enjoy it," Alec said, his concentration still on the TV. "Come here and watch."
Joshua rolled over to the chair Alec was perched on. He looked at all the flashing colors, "Tricks and treats," he said.
"Welcome to the world of attention deficit," Alec said, he went to continue when a news bulletin cut in.
It showed a transgenic attacking the police and finally being killed. They watched it in silence and then Alec stood up and said that they needed to call Max. He got dressed when he heard the doorbell ring.
"Annie," Joshua said.
Alec looked at him in alarm. They sooo didn't need this now. "You have to send her away Joshua, send her away before she gets hurt too." Joshua looked at him sadly, clearing not wanting to even though he heard the sense in his friends words. What he didn't see was the anguish that Alec himself was feeling for having to make Josh do this.
Joshua opened the door and talked to Annie, Alec stayed in the corridor leaning against the wall, wanting to give them space. He heard the door start to close and went to his friend when Annie yelled, "Joshua!"
Alec saw her outstretched hand, he saw the tears that were forming in Joshua's eyes as he went and stood in the doorway. He saw her hand coming towards his face. He felt her fingertips brush over his eyelids, his mouth. He closed his eyes, reveling in the feelings that a single touch could evoke in him. He could practically feel the emotions coming off of the woman in front of him and for the first time in his life he wished that he was somebody else. He wished that he was Joshua. He wished that he was the half dog guy. All because he had something that Alec himself had lost long ago. To have this wonderful woman care for him as much as she cared for Joshua was something that he really wanted. He didn't want her to stop touching him, he hadn't felt like this since...since Rachel. When she finally turned away and left, he stood at the door for what seemed like forever. Just trying to keep the feeling of being touched in his mind. He turned to face Joshua, he saw the tears that were now falling down his cheeks and said, "I know that it's hard buddy. She's safe though, that's all that matters. Trust me, in a while the fact that she's safe is all that will matter to you. trust me."
Joshua looked at him through blurry eyes, he saw the pain his friend was also in. He knew that Alec understood his pain almost as well as he did himself and he pulled Alec into a hug. They just stood there for a while, needing the reassurance that none of them could put into words. Then Joshua pulled away, keeping a hand on Alec's arm and dragged him towards the basement. "Play," he said. Alec looked at him and smiled sadly. This was something that they both needed. They just needed to know that they weren't alone.
..............................
Max stumbled through her doorway, almost blinded by her tears.
"Boo, what's wrong?" OC asked in concern, walking over to pull her into a hug. Max just continued to sob into her shoulder so she pulled her onto the couch, never letting go of her grief stricken friend.
"It's Logan," Max stuttered. "I.he." she couldn't get anymore out, she was crying so hard.
"What did he do?" OC asked, her eyes narrowing. Max stopped crying enough to finally tell her what happened. OC stared at her in shock, she couldn't believe that Logan felt that way. She just continued to hold her friend as her sobs finally ceased and she fell into a fitful sleep on her shoulder. OC on the other hand didn't fall asleep, her mind still going over what Max had told her. She was so angry at Logan for getting Max even more upset than she already was, she wanted to go over there right now and put the smack down on that old man's ass. No wait, she thought, I don't wanna touch that ass, she shivered with disgust. Max woke up when she felt OC moving, she looked into her friends concerned eyes, gave her a tiny smile and said that she was gonna go for a ride on her baby.
She left the apartment and drove straight to the space needle, she needed to sort things out. She sat near the edge just looking out at the city, not really seeing it but gazing at it just the same. Her mind drifted over to what happened earlier.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"I saw him, over at your place earlier," Logan drawled, swaying as he stood.
"Logan, you've had too much to drink," Max said, "I just came here to give you this," she handed over Joshua's necklace.
"Ahh but you only came in because you thought that I was out," Logan said, watching her with narrowed eyes.
Max stared at the ground, unable to meet his eyes. Logan continued, "Tell me it's not true, tell me you're not with that irresponsible idiot."
"He's not an idiot, he might be irresponsible sometimes but he's not an idiot," Max snapped at him.
"Oh, so now that you're with him he's totally changed Max, tell me how many times have I heard you call him that yourself huh?"
"I was wrong about him," she whispered.
"Ha," Logan snorted, "You're just like the other women, you can't see past his pretty face."
Max looked at him, he was so drunk he didn't even know what he was saying.
"You deserve better," he continued, "You shouldn't be hanging around with trash like him anyway."
"He's not trash," she stated.
"Yes, he is. He's just a murderer Max, a womanizing murderer."
"Well then I guess I must be a murderer too then huh?" she flashed at him.
"No Max. you're different to him, to them. You aren't like them at all. You don't belong with them, you belong with me," he looked at her beseechingly. Max looked him, unable to believe what he was saying.
"Logan, I am just like them. I was made like them, I grew up like them!"
"But you got away. You learned how to live again, they didn't. They don't understand you like I can."
Max looked at him, her mind deep in thought. "No, Logan. You cant understand me like they can." She turned around and walked away.
He watched her go but yelled out one last time. "You cant trust him Max, you know you cant. You'll have to spend the rest of your life looking after him. You can't trust him!"
He was answered with the sound of the door slamming shut.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Max sat there, tears streaming down her face. Logan's last words going around her head - you can't trust him. She wished with all her heart that she did trust Alec but there was just something that was holding her back. She didn't know what it was. Maybe it was just that he seemed to screw up so much. She knew that he had made it up to her but she was still concerned about the way he handled things. She still loved Logan, she knew she did but then she had feeling these things for Alec as well. She just didn't understand. She knew that Alec would always be there for her, she knew it. She heard footsteps behind her and said, "I come here to be alone."
"Yeah, I know but I thought that with everything that had gone down today, we might both be needing some company."
Max glanced sideways at him. "OC rang you didn't she?" she sighed.
He didn't reply, just sat next to her and put his arm around her shoulders. She felt safe with him, she didn't want that feeling to go away.
He looked at her sitting there, so sad and alone. When OC rang and told him that she and Logan had a fight, he just thought what's new? They fight, they break up, and they get back together. He was disappointed though, when she said that she was gonna stay away from him, he had believed her. You are such a chump Alec, he thought to himself. Then he realized that OC was still talking, asking him to go after her and he agreed. He wanted to make sure that she was ok, that and that and the fact that he could still feel Annie's hand on his face. He needed the comfort and so did she.
He put his arm around her and waiting for the bitching to begin but when she started leaning into him he realized that she was way more upset then he had thought she was. He just sat there, enjoying the feeling of her when she turned to him. Her eyes so dark and enticing, she licked her lips and he felt himself being drawn to them. He covered them briefly with own and when she didn't pull away, he deepened the kiss. All of a sudden he pulled away. "Logan," he said, his voice breaking. Damn that conscience he thought to himself.
Max just shook her head and whispered, "I need you Alec." He looked at the tears forming in her eyes and took her back into his arms.
"You need me Max, but I'm not the one that you WANT. You know Max, usually there would be no way in hell that I'd say no to you but you're upset, you don't know what you want. And I don't...I don't.."
Max looked up at him, wondering what he was going to say.
"I don't want to be some play thing you can just throw away once you and Logan are back together," he finished quietly, unable to look into her eyes.
"I don't know what to do Alec," she whispered, clutching his jacket, afraid he was going to leave.
"Then just leave it how it is now ok? Choose when you do know," he stared deep into her eyes, "That way I know that you've chosen me for me and not because you couldn't have him."
She lay her head onto his shoulder and held her close. He wanted her so badly but he needed more from her, he wanted more from her. He wanted her heart.
.............................
Andy whistled while she walked into work. It had been a good night. She had got her units all organized, they had started their training again. I just wish that stupid lazy CO would turn up, she thought. She couldn't do anything with the other units, sure they all started training again when she said that when their CO turned up he would expect them to be in top shape but other than that, they just ignored her and Andy didn't like to be ignored.
She breezed pass the boss, saying a cheery hello but stopped dead when she saw Max. Her hair was tied up. She had never seen her hair tied up before, she looked different. Different and yet familiar. She gasped as her mind began going through the nightmares she had been having for the past ten years. A little girl smiling and laughing, a little girl who looked just like miniature version of Max. She saw herself with the little Max playing around with..with..who. But the memory was gone as quickly as it came.
Max looked at her in concern. "Hey Andy, you alright?" she asked.
Andy started in surprise, "Oh yeah. I'm fine. I mean, why wouldn't I be?" she gave them a big smile and walked off to collect a package.
Max stared after her concerned. "Well, her 'why wouldn't I be' sounds just like your 'I'm always alright' bullshit," she said to Alec. He just grinned and opened his locker. Max looked at Andy again, she turned as she was heading out the door and her eyes met Max's. The expression in them scared Max, but she didn't know why.
...........................
Andy sat on her bike just staring at the handlebars. She didn't know what was happening to her. She was so confused, she needed to talk to someone. Now. She pulled herself together and started for Terminal City, hoping to find the answers she needed among the toxic dump.
....................................
Please Review!!