Title:  Amnesia! Spike

Author:  mahaliem

Part 5


In the basement, Spike had his arms full of warm, wiggling Xander, when he heard Dawn's announcement about he and Xander doing "naughty things on his cot." As the clattering on the stairs increased, so did Xander's squirming. Unfortunately, the squirming was now in an effort to get away, so Spike quickly released his hold, and stood up.

Xander rose and hastily took several steps away from the cot.

"We were just wrestling," he stammered. "Not doing the nasty, um, anything nasty." Taking a breath, Xander added a little too loudly, "I'm not gay and I wish people would stop thinking I am."

Hurrying forward, Anya grabbed his hand. "Of course you aren't. It's not your fault that people judge you on how act, how you talk, and how you keep looking at Spike's ass."

Spike's eyes widened. He would've loved to continue this conversation, but Anya was pulling Xander up the stairs, talking about how they needed to get home and address wedding invitations. Dawn, Willow, and Buffy remained in the basement, staring at Spike.

"Show's over." With a wave of his hand, Spike indicated for them to leave. Buffy and Willow did so, but Dawn remained behind.

"Next time," Spike said frustrated, "should sell bloody tickets."

Dawn considered that for a moment. "How much do you think we could get?"

* * *


"He's not happy."

Willow looked at Spike over her cup of herbal tea, not having any idea what he was talking about.

"Who's not happy?"

"Xander. Don't think he wants to get married."

"That's not true. He loves Anya."

Spike shrugged, grabbed the mug of blood he'd heated in the microwave, and sat next to her. "Not saying he doesn't love her. Just saying he's having second thoughts."

Willow studied Spike as he drank his blood. "Maybe you just want him to be having second thoughts. I remember, even if you don't, the way you manipulated us when you allied with Adam."

"And why would I do that now?"

"To get to Xander. Then you could have your evil way with him because you're...you're...."

"Evil?"

"Right. Thank you."

Spike drained his mug, stood, and walked to the sink. With quick, efficient movements, he rinsed the cup, and then turned to face her.

"Don't believe me. Ask him. Just don't let him joke or weasel out of it, like he does. Pin him down, even if you have to put him in a headlock to do it."

That evening Willow went to see Xander. When she returned, she walked down the basement steps to where Spike was busily folding clothes.

"You were right. I can't believe it, but you were right."

Spike said nothing, concentrating hard on folding a bottom sheet. He hated folding bottom sheets.

"I'm his best friend. He's supposed to tell me, not you, when he's upset."

"Probably didn't want to bother you. Have your own problems with that cocoa addiction of yours."

Spike continued to struggle with the sheet while Willow plopped down on his cot. Frustrated, he finally wadded it up and figured he'd stick in the back of the linen closet. By the time they pulled it out, he'd be long gone. He glanced over at Willow, wondering if she would rat him out.

"What are you planning to do?" she asked.

"Planning to stick it as far back in the closet as it will go," Spike confessed.

"Spike, I wasn't talking about your sexuality. I was asking about Xander."

Oh, good, thought Spike, Willow hadn't noticed the sheet at all. He dropped the bundle on top of the rest of the folded clothes and strode over to her.

"We've got to stop it," he told her. "We've got to stop Xander's wedding."

* * *


When Spike told Willow that he would come up with a plan, she put her foot down. She told him that none of his plans ever worked. He refused to believe that until she told him about some of those plans. It was pretty depressing.

Similarly, Spike told Willow that she seemed too sweet to come up with a plan and stick with it. They needed someone sneaky and underhanded.

They recruited Dawn.

* * *


Dawn decided they would convince Anya that if she got married, sex would become boring. The best way to do this, she figured, would be for them to leave out for Anya to read articles and letters to Dear Abby complaining about that problem.

The recycling bin near the university was raided and a trunkful of newspapers were brought home. The three conspirators spent hours searching the papers.

Spike cut out another letter and placed it in the growing pile. "Lackluster marriages must be a bloody epidemic."

"I don't think these people are in love," said Willow, who caught herself reading a horoscope from three weeks before.

Spike raised an eyebrow. "Know all about it, do you?"

"No.  But you did," answered Willow.

"What do you mean?"

"You were with Drusilla for more than one hundred years before she dumped you. If two vampires can love each other for that long without becoming bored, then these people who get bored after a couple of years can't really be in love."

"But this Dru, she dumped me?" Spike asked.

"When you kidnapped me to perform a love spell you told me that she said you'd gone soft. That's all I know, but I have always wondered what happened."

Spike went back to looking for articles and pretended not to hear when Dawn whispered to Willow, "Bet you the reason Dru dumped Spike had something to do with too much rum and a cabana boy named Paolo."

* * *


Anya twitched a bit when she read several of the articles they'd found and Dawn, Willow, and Spike congratulated each other. Two days later, an enormous carton from Naughty Nites arrived at the Magic Box. Anya had murmured, "Just let him try to be bored," as she'd signed for it. When the box's arrival was followed by a loud phone call by Anya complaining to customer service that she'd specifically ordered the strawberry not the cherry flavored lotion, they knew their scheme had failed.

Dawn decided that their next plan would be to get Anya interested in someone else.

"Besides Xander, what other men do we know?" asked Willow.

Spike cleared his throat. "Ahem."

"There's Jonathan, except now he's evil," said Dawn.

Spike cleared his throat louder "Ahem!"

"Oz's friend Devon is cute. Unfortunately he doesn't have many prospects. Anya would never go for him."

"AHEM!" Spike shouted.

"Do you need a lozenge?" asked Dawn.

Willow began to jump up and down excitedly. "I know! I know! I don't know why we didn't think of him before."

Spike smiled.

"We'll match her up with Giles," Willow announced proudly.

Spike wondered if vampires could die by banging their heads against brick walls.

* * *


Buffy was doing her best to teach Spike the basics of fighting. Each night, they spent more than an hour in the training room at the back of the Magic Box before she left for patrol. She assured him that his body would remember the moves, even if his mind did not. After several sparring sessions, Spike was confused. Was it truly necessary to straddle vampires before you staked them?

One evening, Willow, holding a letter in her hand, rushed into the back room where Buffy and Spike were training. Dawn and Anya followed close behind.

"Buffy, could you get off Spike for a moment?" Willow asked. "I need his opinion on something."

With a sigh of reluctance, Buffy rolled off of Spike and allowed him to stand.

Since Anya and Dawn were staring at him, Spike reached for the shirt that Buffy had told him not to wear while sparring because it was too easy for her to grab. Despite the lack of shirt, Buffy still seemed able to find plenty to grab, Spike thought ruefully.

"What is it?" Spike said.

Anya managed to tear her eyes away from Spike's chest, which was now covered with a shirt, and toward the letter Willow was still clutching.

"Willow has this strange idea that Giles likes me," Anya stated. "Likes as in wants to have orgasms with me."

"He does! Giles wrote Anya a letter. Spike, you're British. Tell Anya what this sentence means." Willow began to read. "'I hope this letter finds you well.'"

Everyone looked at Spike for an interpretation.

"Um...British people say that when they want to shag you," Spike lied.

"They do?" asked Anya disbelievingly.

"They do?" shouted Buffy.

Visibly upset, Buffy rushed from the room. Anya took the letter from Willow and stared at it for a long moment.

"I didn't know he felt like that. We kissed, but I didn't think it meant anything to him."

"You kissed Giles?" asked Dawn.

"What was it like?" said Willow, who reddened, then quickly added, "I mean, you kissed Giles?"

"We kissed when we were under the Willow's memory spell. It was quite nice."

Xander walked in carrying a bag of chips.

"Does anyone know why Buffy just called Giles to tell him that she loves him like a daughter, but only as a daughter?"

Dawn smiled brightly at Xander and said, "I have absolutely no idea."

Anya ignored Xander's interruption. "Actually, the kiss was more than nice, what with the whole putting his entire body into it. But there were no tongues."

"Tongues? When were there no tongues?" asked Xander.

"Why, when I kissed Giles," replied Anya.

"You kissed Giles?" exclaimed Xander.

Spike had had enough.

"Bugger this!" Spike shouted. Everyone stared at him, as he continued. "Dawn, Willow, this isn't going to work."

"It will!" assured Dawn. "We haven't even pulled out the big gun yet."

Spike sighed in exasperation. "Dawn, your big gun is a picture of Xander holding hands with the Easter Bunny."

"You held hands with the Easter Bunny!" yelped Anya in horror, backing away from Xander.

"I was five," Xander explained.

"That's no excuse," said Anya, still moving away.

"See – it would've worked," muttered Dawn.

Spike grabbed Dawn and Willow and started pulling them toward the door. Opening it, he pushed them through, and then turned to face the engaged couple.

"You two need to talk." Spike's eyes met Xander's. "You need to be honest. If you're not honest, you might wind up hurting someone."

Stepping back, Spike closed the door, giving Xander and Anya privacy. He spun around to see Willow looking a bit disappointed and Dawn fuming. Buffy was still on the phone.

"You promise you only love me like a father loves a daughter, right?" Spike heard Buffy say.

* * *


"You thought I wrote this?" asked Xander incredulously to Spike.

Everyone was sitting around Buffy's kitchen eating ice cream. Xander and Anya had talked and decided to cancel both the wedding and the engagement. Although Anya was not thrilled, the prospect of making Xander take her out on dates and give her gifts helped ease the pain.

It seemed as if Anya had also decided that Xander could use a little competition. Spike had overhead Buffy trying to calm Giles when he'd called to ask "why Anya kept telling him that she hoped her letter found him well. Especially since she was on the telephone at the time."

While they ate their ice cream, Spike brought out the note he'd found in the crypt and everyone, except for Buffy, took turns examining it. Buffy was standing on the other side of the room, trying hard to ignore the group, and concentrating on her cone.

"The writer doesn't say "Hi" or anything. It just starts out with 'Spike'". Willow read the note aloud again. "'Stopped by, but you were out. When I come by again, you better be naked and tied to the bed.'" Willow glanced up at her audience. "How can you tie yourself up?"

"There are lots of ways you can tie yourself up," volunteered Anya. "It's much harder to untie yourself, though."

"What happens if the other person doesn't come?" asked Dawn.

"Hey, sitting right here!" Spike said, insulted. "Don't remember specifics, but I'm sure I always make my partner...."

Willow quickly interrupted the indignant Spike. "I don't think she meant it like that."

Anya answered Dawn's question. "Spike's a vampire. It's not like he'd have to get loose to go use the bathroom or anything."

"This is just so...freaky. You really thought I wrote this?" repeated Xander.

"Is a bit domineering," Spike said. "Should've sussed out that it couldn't be you."

"Hey, I can be domineering."

"You can?" asked Willow.

"You betcha, I can."

As one, they all glanced at Anya who was silently shaking her head.

There was a soft knock on the backdoor and a woman stuck her head in and looked around.

"Excuse me? I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

Spike glanced up at the woman who entered. She was lovely, all soft and curvy. Could have spent hours exploring her. Could've dived into her depths and never wanted to come up for air. Could've....

"Ow!" he yelped.

Willow was glaring at him as he rubbed the spot on his ribs where she'd dug in her elbow.

"Spike, this is Tara," Willow hissed.

Spike arched an eyebrow and answered "Your Tara?"

"Yesss," Willow said through gritted teeth.

"Oh." Spike looked again at the newcomer. "You've got good taste," he said.

Tara was turning pink under his gaze. Dawn had rushed to her side and was hugging her. Spike and Willow both looked at Dawn with envious gazes.

"What's going on?" asked Tara.

"Spike lost his memory," said Dawn, still cuddled against Tara.

"And he thought that I was his lover," said Xander.

"He's been staying here," added Willow.

"But he was having sex with someone," said Anya. "He found a note saying so."

"A note he thought I wrote," said Xander. "Thus the whole thinking I was his lover bit."

"But Xander didn't write the note," explained Dawn, leaving Tara's side to return to her seat. "And we don't know who did."

Tara glanced over at Buffy. Buffy was concentrating hard on her now melted ice cream. The cone had a small hole in it at the bottom and she was sucking from the bottom to prevent it from dripping.

Sticking out her chin, Tara took a deep breath and turned toward Willow.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't want you to find out this way."

Willow looked puzzled, then thunderstruck as she realized Tara's meaning. Spike was practically bouncing up and down with happiness. There was a crunch as Buffy crushed the ice cream cone in her grip.

"Wait a second, it was you? You're Spike's lover?" questioned Xander.

"It's always the quiet ones," stated Anya.

"Yes, I'm Spike's lover," said Tara. "After I broke up with Willow, Spike and I started having sex. Lots of sex. We did things together…things that you wouldn't believe."

Anya piped up. "I'd believe it. Tell us."

Dawn also looked eager to hear about it. So did Spike. Willow was letting out small little whimpers. Strangely, Xander was letting out small little whimpers, too.

Tara held out her hand to Spike, who gleefully walked over to grasp it. With a quick glare at Buffy, Tara spoke to the group.

"I'm going to take Spike back to my place now. Once we get there, we're going to have more sex."

Still holding Spike's hand, Tara turned to walk out the back door when a knife struck the wood near her head.

The knife was still quivering, making a deep thrumming noise, when Buffy, her voice low and deadly said, "Take your hands off of him, you lying little witch."

* * *


Spike crept into the abandoned house. He knew she was here. All his senses were telling him so.

"Buffy?" he called.

There was a small answering noise, so he went further inside and found Buffy sitting on the edge of the damaged fireplace. There were no tear tracks on her face, but she looked pale and tired.

"Buffy, you all right?"

"Everybody hates me."

"They don't hate you."

"They do. Willow and Xander were furious. Dawn called me every nasty name in the book for not telling you about us."

"No, she didn't. Didn't call you snail slime. That's right nasty. Didn't call you sewer breath or toad puke or...."

"Do you hate me, Spike?" Buffy interrupted.

Reaching out, Spike took a strand of hair that had fallen in front of Buffy's face and gently placed it behind an ear.

"What's there to hate?" he said. "Took me in, you did. Put a roof over my head and blood in my mug."

"But I didn't tell you the truth."

Spike did his best to avoid her eyes by studying the crumbling brickwork around her.

"Doesn't take a brain surgeon or Willow to figure out the why. From what I can make of it, wasn't the most popular of fellows."

"It wasn't that." At Spike's look, Buffy amended her statement. "Well, not just that.  Most of it was me. It seemed like you were the only one I could talk to. Willow pulled me from the grave, but part of me still felt dead. When I was with you, I felt alive."

Tilting his head, Spike watched Buffy as she explained her reasoning. She placed her hand on his arm and he almost cursed the fact that the leather duster he wore kept him from feeling her heat. He didn't actually curse it because it really was a cool coat.

"I knew that I shouldn't sleep with you. I hated you. But I couldn't stop. When you lost your memory," Buffy was said, "it was as if I had a reprieve. I never, ever, meant to hurt you."

"You hated me?" Spike asked.

Buffy sighed. "We were starting to be friends. Then we slept together and it messed things up."

"Maybe we could make another stab at it. The friends bit," Spike proposed tentatively.

Extending his hand, Spike helped Buffy to stand.

"I'd like to be friends with you," she answered softly.

As they turned to leave, Spike asked, "So, did you take a gander at the pictures downstairs?"

"Yes," said Buffy. "They were disgusting."

"Yeah, weren't they," Spike said with a smile at the memory.

"I added a bit of my own graffiti," Buffy said shyly.

She pointed to the some markings on the wall next to the fireplace and Spike moved over to read what she'd written.

Scribbled in lipstick on the flaking plaster he read:

There once was a vampire named Spike
Who I told to go take a hike.
When he hit his head
His memories fled.
Now he's someone I really like.

Spike read it a second time. Then a third.

"Well?" asked Buffy expectantly.

Spike tried his best to hold it back. He tried very, very hard. But when he opened his mouth, it burst out of him.

"Oh, Buffy, it's beautiful!"

* * *


Buffy hesitated at the bottom of the stairs. The house was quiet. Xander, Anya, and Tara must have left and Willow and Dawn were probably asleep. Spike stood next to her, waiting for her to go up to bed before he went downstairs to his cot.

"Spike, I know I said we'd try being friends, but...can I kiss you goodnight?"

Leaning forward so that their lips were practically touching, Spike said, "No memory. Not barmy."

Softly they kissed, as if afraid that it wasn't real. Barely tasting one another before drawing back. Buffy lifted her hands to Spike's neck to bring his mouth back down to hers when the lights flicked on.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, boy?" a voice growled.

Spike glanced to the living room, where a stranger stood next to a lamp. The man was huge, both tall and broad. His brow was thick and his hair was gelled to stand straight up.

It was a poofter. It had to be.

As the man moved closer, Spike was shocked to see the large brow become ridged and the eyes turn yellow. The poofter was a vampire?

Backing up a step, Spike gasped, "Who's that?"

Buffy protectively moved so that she stood in front of Spike. She placed her fists on her hips and faced the stranger.

"Nobody important," she replied.