AUTHORS NOTE: There's a lot of the "f" word in this chapter. I must've been angry when I wrote it, lol, so if "bad language" offends you, please don't complain to me about it. Remember, these people are angry!!

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Things were okay until he knocked on my door. Every bit of stoicism crumbled when I heard that knock. I knew it was him, who else would it be? I had just gotten home from work, and it'd been a little over two days since our fight. I was trying to adjust, trying to teach myself to live without him. I was getting along just fine, and he had to go and screw it up. He had to fucking knock on my door.

I walked over and opened the door a bit, not bothering to check the peep hole. The sight of him would've been funny if it wasn't sad. He looked tired, ten years older, worn and stressed out. God, this was two days without me? I almost smiled in spite of myself... Look what two days without me did to this man? I didn't want to pity him, honestly, I didn't. The icing on the cake though, were the flowers in his hand.

"Are you screwing with me, Mulder?"

"I'd like to be, but I don't think I'm getting any anytime soon," he offered with a wry grin.

It was so difficult to hate him. I had to remind myself of what he said to me, though.

"If you think showing up here, looking upset and holding a bouquet of flowers is going to make me forgive you, think again," I said, beginning to shut the door.

Him being here was too much. I had to get away, now.

"I have a key, Scully," he reminded me.

"I have a gun, Mulder," I reminded him back.

"I'm sorry, Scully, how many times to do I have to say that?"

I cracked the door open again and hissed at him, "This is ridiculous, Mulder. You made it perfectly clear that you've got other things more important than me to worry about. We don't work together anymore and I certainly wouldn't want to steal your time away from the X-Files."

His cell phone rang. He took it out, and looked at the caller ID.

"Who is it, Agent Vass?" I asked, hearing the jealousy drip from my voice.

"Skinner," he replied to me. "Mulder," he said, into the phone.

I watched pure elation pass quickly across his face--if I would have blinked, I may have missed it.

"No, Sir, I don't know why or how... I know she was working for him, but I can't say I'm sure I know why he'd want Scully reassigned," another pause as Skinner spoke, and he added, "Yes, Sir, thank you, I'll let her know, okay, I'll tell her."

"What's going on?" I asked, annoyed.

"You're back on the X-Files," he said, happily. "Skinner'll be calling you soon."

I was silent. Finally, I managed to ask, "How?"

"Skinner said Kersh demanded it. Apparently I was more dangerous without you to keep me in check," he said. "Now you have no choice to pay attention to what I'm trying to say, I'm your partner."

"I never agreed to go back to the X-Files. After all, it's you're life, I wouldn't want to cramp it," I said angrily.

"Jesus, Dana, what do you want from me? I'm sorry, I don't know what to do!"

"I want to believe you!" I found myself screaming.


Suddenly the door flew open, almost hitting me. The force of his entrance sent me reeling back, and he slammed the door behind him once he was inside. The fire in his eyes was something I'd only seen a few times before, and for a moment I was almost afraid.

"I love you, Dana Scully. I realized something when I went out to Pennsylvania with Vass. It wasn't for me, the X-Files. They were my life because I was searching for YOUR answers. I wanted to find them for you! I should've let you find them yourself, but I didn't, because I'm a selfish asshole and I wanted to be a fucking hero for once. The X-Files weren't my life, they were just another part of YOU. *YOU* are my life, Scully, YOU. ONLY you! I didn't know what to do without you! The factory? Without you to help me, I was going to risk my life and go in there the next morning alone, but Vass called into Cancerman and had it burned down. It's gone, everything, it was going to be my proof to you. I wanted to come back with cures and eggs and explanations and be your hero but I'm just a stupid fuck-up and you have no reason to love me. None whatsoever, but I'm selfish and I NEED you, Scully, so I'm here screaming, begging for you to realize that I was WRONG and I'm a screw-up and I need you because without you I have NOTHING left and NOTHING to live for. They can take the X-Files, all I'm searching for now is YOU."

I blinked away the tears when he finished and remember to breathe.

"I'm sorry," he offered quietly. Whether it was for his tirade or for everything that had happened, I wasn't sure.
"Please, my life is falling back together, Dana, don't walk away."

I crumbled then. God, he had to come back here, didn't he? He had to show up and make me realize I loved him. He had to fuck up my stoicism, my facade. He had to come and tell me I was everything and make me remember why I was with him in the first place. He had to look devastatingly sexy in black jeans and a leather jacket. He had to look frightening but passionate when he apologized, he had to get so close to losing it but gripping on just a little bit for me...

And then I was holding him. I couldn't remember ever walking over and placing my arms around him. Suddenly I was just there, gripping at his back. My nails dug into his jacket, I wanted to hold him close to me and make sure he'd never leave. That was what I wanted; needed.

I pulled away from him, silently. He slid his jacket off and it fell unnoticed to the floor. I realized then that tears were falling down my face, and for a moment I just wanted to hold him. Just be close to him and think and cry and sort out everything that I was feeling. So I did, we just held each other.

The phone rang. I knew it would be Skinner with news of the X-Files, but I just let it ring. His voice came through on my answering machine moments later, "Agent Scully, this is AD Skinner. I've just received orders from the Deputy Director to reassign you to the X-Files. This is effective immediately. I'll have your classes at Quantico handed over to someone else. Please report to my office tomorrow morning with Agent Mulder. That'll be all."

We said nothing, and it was quite some time before either of us were ready for words. Finally, I tilted my head up to his, and began to speak.

"I hated you, Mulder, I hated you for saying what you did. Do you have any idea how hard to hate you it was?" I felt a tiny smile tug at my lips. "And all I could think of was how you'd hurt me, and that I couldn't be with you anymore because it wouldn't be fair to me... Just the thought of being with someone who thought I was some kind of consolation prize, I couldn't do it. Now, you show up here, telling me that you love me and you were wrong and I don't know what to do or feel or believe... And now I can have the X-Files back and everything could be right again, Mulder, but I don't know if I can let them be right again."


"Scully, please. I can't say anything more than that I'm sorry. I hate myself knowing that I hurt you like this. I fucked up, but please don't let that ruin what we had. We could have *everything* again, Scully. We could have each other and the X-Files. It's not some kind of contest between you and my job, Scully. Even if it was, I've learned that you'd win. Every time. I *know* that you want to be on the X-Files. Not for me, but for yourself. I know that you want to find the answers, and I promise that I'll try never to hurt you again. I'll try, I can't guarantee I won't, but I'll try. I never wanted to hurt you, Scully."

I was embarrassed to realize that I was crying again. He said, "Sit down, Scully, relax, it's okay now. It's over now." I sat with him on the couch, letting the tears continue to fall. With shaky breaths I managed to speak to him.
"I love you, Mulder, I do, and you made me hate you and I don't want to anymore. I don't want to fight with you and I don't want you to hurt me ever again and I want to trust that you won't. That's all I want. I want what we used to have. I want to yell at you for making me do all the expense accounts. I want you to drag me to some god-forsaken town to chase UFOs. I want all of that back and I want us to be okay."
He just held me and said, "We are okay. It's okay now. We don't have to fight anymore. I'm not going to hurt you anymore, Scully. You can believe me, I love you, I need you back. We're okay now. It's all over."

And it was. We spent the rest of the night laying in silence, and the last thing I remember is the feel of his arms around me before I fell asleep.

* * * * *

I looked down at her sleeping on my chest with a smile. We'd be okay. I was afraid for a while that she'd never forgive me... She had no good reason to, really. I hurt her, and I hated that. Watching Scully break down like that, listening to her tell me what I'd done to her and how I'd made her feel... That was one of the hardest things I'd ever have to watch.

Knowing that *I* made this strong, stoic woman crumble, I hated it. I hated that I made her cry like that, that I'd made her hate me. I had fucked up and brought all of this on myself, but I wasn't the one who had to pay for my foolish words. She did. Would she always have to wonder if I'd hurt her again? Would my words stay with her forever, would she always have to worry that she wasn't important to me? This wouldn't go away over night, I knew. She'd wake up in the morning and we'd be together, yes, but her doubts in me would linger.

I sighed and slid out from underneath her small frame on the couch. I scooped her up in my arms, an action I knew would annoy the hell out of her if she wasn't asleep. I carried her inside into her bedroom, and placed her gently on the bed. I debated what to do next, should I climb in beside her? She had changed into sweats when she got home from work, I guess, because she was in comfy enough clothes to sleep in. I just looked at her for a long time, taking in the sight of her before me. How could I have ever hurt her? What was I thinking? Nothing should be placed ahead of this woman; she was perfection laying before me.

Her eyes fluttered a bit and she smiled at me. She stretched her limbs and pulled the covers over her body. I smiled back down at her, seeing forgiveness in her eyes. She wanted the same thing that I did; she wanted things to be like they were before.

Quietly she whispered, "We survive everything they throw at us, don't we Mulder?"

"Yeah, Scully, I guess we do."

"Come to bed, Mul'er," she told me, her words tired. "It'll all be okay in the morning."

I removed my jeans, and slid into bed in my boxers. Holding her close to me, we fell asleep, anxious for a better day.

A/N: ONE CHAPTER LEFT! Numerous apologies for my lateness, once again. School comes first, I'm afraid… I wish it didn't. ;-) Thanks for sticking around.