Title: It's Just A Crush
He's gone that's all I hear in my head. I fall to my knees sobbing and my uncle grabs me. " Let me go Uncle Glenn, he's gone and I killed him." My uncle kneels on the floor in front of me and I can see the tears in his eyes. " Chloe baby, it was an accident, you didn't kill Mark." I start shaking my head wildly. "It's my fault, I kept pushing at him and pushing at him for him to tell me how he feels. Then I told him I hated him, Uncle Glenn I told him I hated him and he left. He left and now he's dead." The sobs coming out of my body hurt in their intensity. " I can't live without him, I love him so much, and I've always been in love with him. I pushed him away when I should have just been happy with the way things were. That night I left it was after we made love, he was my first and in my heart my only. I ran away hoping he would chase after me but I should have just stayed then none of this would have happened. I love him so much it hurts." My uncle grabs me and holds me to him. I just let go and sob.
I look up at my uncle and can see he is crying too. " Bring him back Uncle Glenn, make him be ok. I need him. I'll give up everything I have just so he will be ok. This is like some horrible nightmare that I can't wake up from." My uncle pushes my head till it's in the crook of his neck. " Baby if I could bring him back I would. He was like a brother to me but he loved both of us. Even though he never said it I know he did. Whenever you came to visit that was when I would see him the most happy." My uncle holds my face in his hands and looks me in the eyes. " Do you realize that Chloe? You made him so happy. Ever since you were younger till now. You got through to him in a way that none of us were ever able to do. We are going to get through this. Mark wouldn't want us to be sad, especially you. You know he always hated to see you cry. We have to be strong." I just keep on crying. " I can't be strong without him. I just feel so numb now. He was my strength. I don't know how I am going to live without him?"
When we hear someone clear their throat my uncle and I both look up. It's the doctor from before. " I don't even know how to say this. There was a mistake with the charts. The person you came to see is fine except for a concussion, stitches on his head and a few bruises. I can take you to him right now. Again I am so sorry for the mix up. I am going to find out how a mistake like this could happen." I get to my feet and look at my uncle in hope. I don't know if I can handle thinking Mark is ok when in reality they were right the firs time and he is really gone. My uncle has to hold onto me before my legs give out. The doctor shows us the room and I look inside. When I see Mark sitting on the bed I run through the door. I throw myself into Mark's arms sobbing.
" Baby I'm so sorry, I love you so much, even if you never say you love me back I want you to know I love you. You're alive. Oh god I thought I had lost you." I pull back from him placing kisses all over his face. Mark looks shocked at my behavior. I try to calm down but the sobs keep coming out of me. Luckily my uncle steps in. " Mark buddy, I got a call on my cell phone saying you were in an accident. When we got here the doctor got the charts mixed up and he told us you were dead." My uncle comes over to Mark and gives him a long hug. "Don't ever scare me like that again ok asshole? I am going to give both of you some privacy." When he walks out of the room I throw myself back in Mark's arms. I get I was a little too forceful because we fall back on the hospital bed. I crawl on top of Mark. Mark starts to speak but I put my finger over his mouth. " Please just hold me for a minute. I need to feel you." Mark wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer. When I finally get my sobbing down to just tears I start to talk.
" I thought I had lost you. I saw the accident site on the way over here and I saw your bike on the ground. When the doctor told me you were gone, it felt like my life was over. I said some horrible things to you before. I didn't mean any of them. I was hurt and I lashed out at you. I know you probably hate me now but at least you're alive. I'm so sorry." I keep mumbling how sorry I am over and over again. Mark sits up with me in his arms. I refuse to let go of him. " Chloe look at me." I look up into his eyes and I see the tears. " You were that upset when you thought I was gone?" I start shaking my head and the tears start to well up again. " Let's get something straight. I don't hate you and I don't think I ever could. I should have never yelled at you like I did before." Mark starts to run his fingers through my hair. " I have a little confession to make. When I woke up the night after we made love I was pissed you weren't there. I was even more pissed when I found out you had left town. This past month has been hell for me without you. When I saw you tonight my first reaction was to grab you and kiss the hell out of you. But instead I started to yell and we fought. I am so sorry you were led to believe I was dead. I can't even imagine what it would be like to find out I had lost you." As Mark finishes the sentence he pulls me to him.
" Darlin I don't know what I would if I ever lost you. It must have been horrible to think I was gone. But I'm here now and everything is ok." Mark tilts my chin up and leans down to kiss me. We must get so lost in our kiss that we don't here my uncle come back into the room. " Um hello excuse me. Do you think you can remove your hands from my niece now?" We break apart and look at my uncle. " What? You've never seen a man kiss his woman?" I look up at Mark I'm his woman? I can deal with that. " Yeah well I figured you would want to get your sorry ass out of this hospital but if you would rather play kissy face then you can stay here. I spoke to the doctor and told him you've had concussions before and know how to take care of yourself so lets go." Mark gets up and holds out his hand for me. " Come on baby, we can finish this at the hotel."
When we get to the car Mark pulls me into the backseat with him. I cuddle up to his side and put my hand on his thigh. I feel like I have to keep touching him or he is going to disappear. As we drive back to the hotel we pass the accident site again. " Mark you never told us what happened?" Mark tightens his arm around me. " I was riding along when I realized I had to be on RAW. I turned around on my bike and was coming back. This other car was speeding down the street and when it tried to stop to avoid hitting the car in front of it, it started to skid and the car behind it swerved and came into my lane. Luckily I saw it coming and tried to get out of the way. The car tapped the back of my bike and I fell off of it. I hit the curb and hit my head. I must have blacked out because when I woke up I was in the hospital." I shiver when I think how close I came to really losing Mark.
When we get to the hotel we go up to Mark and my uncle's room. Mark says he wants to take a shower. When he steps into the bathroom he calls out for my uncle to come see him for a minute. I sit on the bed and put on the TV. My uncle comes back out and starts packing. " Uncle Glenn, what are you doing?" He zips up his bag and comes over to me. " Well it looks like I am getting thrown out of my room for the night. The patient says he wants to stay with you tonight so I have to sleep in your room. I will have your bags sent here. I called Stephanie from the hospital to tell her what was going on and she said she would have your bags sent to the front desk. Take care of him ok sweetie?" He leans down and gives me a kiss on the forehead.
I start to get butterflies in my stomach, what if Mark wants to make love tonight? Which reminds me, in the hospital he said we made love, he didn't say we had sex. That's a start I guess. I hear a knock on the door and it's the bellman with my bags. I give him a tip and tell him to have a good night. I order some room service while Mark is in the shower. After I'm done I sit back on the bed and I think about everything that happened tonight. I can't help but start to cry when I relive when the doctor told me Mark was gone. I felt like I didn't want to live anymore. I didn't realize how much I loved him till I thought he was gone. I open my eyes when I feel Mark wiping away my tears. " What's wrong baby?" I put my arms around him and hold him to me. " Just thinking but I will be ok."
The food comes and we sit down to eat. I keep fussing over Mark and he laughs at me. " I thought Glenn was a mother hen but darlin he has nothing on you." I tell him he's lucky he's hurt or I would smack him. I tell Mark to get into bed and that I am going to change. When I come out of the bathroom Mark is in bed propped up on some pillows. I give him a glass of water and a pain pill. I lean down to kiss him goodnight then turn to get into my own bed. I turn when I feel Mark grab my wrist. " Where do you think you are going? I want some lovin tonight so get your cute ass over here." As Mark pulls me to the bed I star to protest telling him he's hurt but he won't listen to me. He leans down to whisper in my ear. " I have a concussion so I have to stay up for a while. Besides we have a lot to catch up on and with the way I feel it could take all night." As Mark starts to kiss me I realize I need this as much as he does. We're both alive and want to enjoy each other. I can't complain with that.
Review as always.
He's gone that's all I hear in my head. I fall to my knees sobbing and my uncle grabs me. " Let me go Uncle Glenn, he's gone and I killed him." My uncle kneels on the floor in front of me and I can see the tears in his eyes. " Chloe baby, it was an accident, you didn't kill Mark." I start shaking my head wildly. "It's my fault, I kept pushing at him and pushing at him for him to tell me how he feels. Then I told him I hated him, Uncle Glenn I told him I hated him and he left. He left and now he's dead." The sobs coming out of my body hurt in their intensity. " I can't live without him, I love him so much, and I've always been in love with him. I pushed him away when I should have just been happy with the way things were. That night I left it was after we made love, he was my first and in my heart my only. I ran away hoping he would chase after me but I should have just stayed then none of this would have happened. I love him so much it hurts." My uncle grabs me and holds me to him. I just let go and sob.
I look up at my uncle and can see he is crying too. " Bring him back Uncle Glenn, make him be ok. I need him. I'll give up everything I have just so he will be ok. This is like some horrible nightmare that I can't wake up from." My uncle pushes my head till it's in the crook of his neck. " Baby if I could bring him back I would. He was like a brother to me but he loved both of us. Even though he never said it I know he did. Whenever you came to visit that was when I would see him the most happy." My uncle holds my face in his hands and looks me in the eyes. " Do you realize that Chloe? You made him so happy. Ever since you were younger till now. You got through to him in a way that none of us were ever able to do. We are going to get through this. Mark wouldn't want us to be sad, especially you. You know he always hated to see you cry. We have to be strong." I just keep on crying. " I can't be strong without him. I just feel so numb now. He was my strength. I don't know how I am going to live without him?"
When we hear someone clear their throat my uncle and I both look up. It's the doctor from before. " I don't even know how to say this. There was a mistake with the charts. The person you came to see is fine except for a concussion, stitches on his head and a few bruises. I can take you to him right now. Again I am so sorry for the mix up. I am going to find out how a mistake like this could happen." I get to my feet and look at my uncle in hope. I don't know if I can handle thinking Mark is ok when in reality they were right the firs time and he is really gone. My uncle has to hold onto me before my legs give out. The doctor shows us the room and I look inside. When I see Mark sitting on the bed I run through the door. I throw myself into Mark's arms sobbing.
" Baby I'm so sorry, I love you so much, even if you never say you love me back I want you to know I love you. You're alive. Oh god I thought I had lost you." I pull back from him placing kisses all over his face. Mark looks shocked at my behavior. I try to calm down but the sobs keep coming out of me. Luckily my uncle steps in. " Mark buddy, I got a call on my cell phone saying you were in an accident. When we got here the doctor got the charts mixed up and he told us you were dead." My uncle comes over to Mark and gives him a long hug. "Don't ever scare me like that again ok asshole? I am going to give both of you some privacy." When he walks out of the room I throw myself back in Mark's arms. I get I was a little too forceful because we fall back on the hospital bed. I crawl on top of Mark. Mark starts to speak but I put my finger over his mouth. " Please just hold me for a minute. I need to feel you." Mark wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer. When I finally get my sobbing down to just tears I start to talk.
" I thought I had lost you. I saw the accident site on the way over here and I saw your bike on the ground. When the doctor told me you were gone, it felt like my life was over. I said some horrible things to you before. I didn't mean any of them. I was hurt and I lashed out at you. I know you probably hate me now but at least you're alive. I'm so sorry." I keep mumbling how sorry I am over and over again. Mark sits up with me in his arms. I refuse to let go of him. " Chloe look at me." I look up into his eyes and I see the tears. " You were that upset when you thought I was gone?" I start shaking my head and the tears start to well up again. " Let's get something straight. I don't hate you and I don't think I ever could. I should have never yelled at you like I did before." Mark starts to run his fingers through my hair. " I have a little confession to make. When I woke up the night after we made love I was pissed you weren't there. I was even more pissed when I found out you had left town. This past month has been hell for me without you. When I saw you tonight my first reaction was to grab you and kiss the hell out of you. But instead I started to yell and we fought. I am so sorry you were led to believe I was dead. I can't even imagine what it would be like to find out I had lost you." As Mark finishes the sentence he pulls me to him.
" Darlin I don't know what I would if I ever lost you. It must have been horrible to think I was gone. But I'm here now and everything is ok." Mark tilts my chin up and leans down to kiss me. We must get so lost in our kiss that we don't here my uncle come back into the room. " Um hello excuse me. Do you think you can remove your hands from my niece now?" We break apart and look at my uncle. " What? You've never seen a man kiss his woman?" I look up at Mark I'm his woman? I can deal with that. " Yeah well I figured you would want to get your sorry ass out of this hospital but if you would rather play kissy face then you can stay here. I spoke to the doctor and told him you've had concussions before and know how to take care of yourself so lets go." Mark gets up and holds out his hand for me. " Come on baby, we can finish this at the hotel."
When we get to the car Mark pulls me into the backseat with him. I cuddle up to his side and put my hand on his thigh. I feel like I have to keep touching him or he is going to disappear. As we drive back to the hotel we pass the accident site again. " Mark you never told us what happened?" Mark tightens his arm around me. " I was riding along when I realized I had to be on RAW. I turned around on my bike and was coming back. This other car was speeding down the street and when it tried to stop to avoid hitting the car in front of it, it started to skid and the car behind it swerved and came into my lane. Luckily I saw it coming and tried to get out of the way. The car tapped the back of my bike and I fell off of it. I hit the curb and hit my head. I must have blacked out because when I woke up I was in the hospital." I shiver when I think how close I came to really losing Mark.
When we get to the hotel we go up to Mark and my uncle's room. Mark says he wants to take a shower. When he steps into the bathroom he calls out for my uncle to come see him for a minute. I sit on the bed and put on the TV. My uncle comes back out and starts packing. " Uncle Glenn, what are you doing?" He zips up his bag and comes over to me. " Well it looks like I am getting thrown out of my room for the night. The patient says he wants to stay with you tonight so I have to sleep in your room. I will have your bags sent here. I called Stephanie from the hospital to tell her what was going on and she said she would have your bags sent to the front desk. Take care of him ok sweetie?" He leans down and gives me a kiss on the forehead.
I start to get butterflies in my stomach, what if Mark wants to make love tonight? Which reminds me, in the hospital he said we made love, he didn't say we had sex. That's a start I guess. I hear a knock on the door and it's the bellman with my bags. I give him a tip and tell him to have a good night. I order some room service while Mark is in the shower. After I'm done I sit back on the bed and I think about everything that happened tonight. I can't help but start to cry when I relive when the doctor told me Mark was gone. I felt like I didn't want to live anymore. I didn't realize how much I loved him till I thought he was gone. I open my eyes when I feel Mark wiping away my tears. " What's wrong baby?" I put my arms around him and hold him to me. " Just thinking but I will be ok."
The food comes and we sit down to eat. I keep fussing over Mark and he laughs at me. " I thought Glenn was a mother hen but darlin he has nothing on you." I tell him he's lucky he's hurt or I would smack him. I tell Mark to get into bed and that I am going to change. When I come out of the bathroom Mark is in bed propped up on some pillows. I give him a glass of water and a pain pill. I lean down to kiss him goodnight then turn to get into my own bed. I turn when I feel Mark grab my wrist. " Where do you think you are going? I want some lovin tonight so get your cute ass over here." As Mark pulls me to the bed I star to protest telling him he's hurt but he won't listen to me. He leans down to whisper in my ear. " I have a concussion so I have to stay up for a while. Besides we have a lot to catch up on and with the way I feel it could take all night." As Mark starts to kiss me I realize I need this as much as he does. We're both alive and want to enjoy each other. I can't complain with that.
Review as always.