Susan's Story (a.k.a Ron, the Prankster)
Well that's the truth about men.
That's the truth about us.
We'd rather pick guitars and work on cars than work on the problems in our life.
And though we may say it to you every now and then,
We ain't wrong, we ain't sorry, and it's probably gonna happen again.
"It all started when Ron decided that he was going to get an old Ford Anglia." Susan said.
"Isn't that the same kind he flew to Hogwart's in our second year?" Pansy asked.
"The one and same." Susan said. "Anyway, I nearly freaked out when he told me about it. I mean, you know what the laws read on charming Muggle objects. Look at the trouble Mr. Weasley got in that year. Fred and George told me that Arthur almost lost his job because of that little stunt they pulled."
"Yeah, supposedly, the Ministry made Arthur turn over all the little Muggle do-dads he had acquired over the years." Hermione said. "Ron told me his dad was none to happy about that."
"Well, Ron gets a hold of an old Anglia. He puts it in the garage off of the side of our house ands starts to tinker with it in his spare time." Susan said. "I wouldn't mind it so much, but anytime he's not at work, eating, sleeping, or working on that blasted car, he's testing Fred and George's new joking products."
"What's so bad about that?" Pansy asked. The other girls looked at her and shook their heads.
"Have you ever been on the receiving end of some of Fred and George's pranks?" they asked in unison. Pansy looked taken back but nodded.
"I was a Slytherin," she said calmly, "of course I've had my fair share of run-ins with them."
"Then think about what you just said." Padma answered. Pansy thought for a minuted, then nodded.
"Okay, I'm sorry. I was under the impression that they might have matured a little since our years at school." she said with a grimace. "I guess having Fred and George Weasley as brother-in-laws is not all it's cracked up to be."
"You can say that again." Susan muttered. "Every time I turn around at home, there is some sort of trap laid for me. In fact, two days ago, I was about to get into the bathtub and a found a bottle of Weasley's Ever-Changing Color Hair Tonic. Ron had swiped it for my normal shampoo."
"You didn't use it, did you?" Ginny asked cautiously. "Harry did the same thing to me, and my hair was switching colors for two days after that."
"No, I didn't use it. In fact, I packed it away for a later date." Susan said. "But that's not the worst of it. Ron puts the Pressure Activated Pyrotechnics on my side of the bed. He puts all kinds of trick food in the pantry. So, anytime I want to get something to eat, I have to make sure that he is eating it before I ever take a bite out of it. One day, I was running around the house with pink and green polka-dotted feathers down my back , and my skin flashing Gryffindor colors after I ate what I had assumed to be a candy bar. I finally got him to stop though."
"What did you do?" Padma asked.
"Well, since the car hasn't really given me any problems yet, I left it alone. But, the pranks are another story. I couldn't find anyway to prank him back at first. So, I went to Fred and George for help. I told them that I wanted to keep things interesting with Ron and I, and I needed some ideas for pranks. I had to swear them into submission so he wouldn't find out. Finally, they gave me some really good ideas to work with."
"Like what?" Pansy asked.
"Well, I took that bottle of trick shampoo and poured it into Ron's bottle." she said. "After that, I put some charms on his robes so that after a while, they became invisible to any and all guys present. The females still saw the robes, but guys only saw him in his underwear. If Ron looked down, he would see his robes also. That one caused quite a stir at the Ministry." Ginny was laughing her head off, as was Hermione.
"I remember Harry telling me about that one." Ginny said. "He told me that Ron needed to find some boxers that didn't have bunnies and flowers on them.
"Yes," Hermione choked out, "Draco told me that the bunnies were running around the flowers and twitching their ears. I thought it was hilarious."
"Well, after a few more well placed pranks, Ron finally gave up and started looking for new targets." She looked at the girls and grinned. "If I were you girls, I would be on the look out for anything your husbands may be giving you any time soon. The whole lot of them work at the Ministry, and there is no telling what Ron will talk them into doing."
"Draco better not start pranking me." Hermione said vehemently. "He'll be sleeping on the couch again, and he knows it!" Ginny nodded.
"I'm a Weasley by birth." she grinned. "Harry knows better than to try anything. I'll make him pay dearly for it." Pansy grinned and shook her head.
"Blaise knows better." she said happily. "I'll sic my grandma on him again. I don't think he wants a repeat of their last meeting."
"I don't think Justin would do that." Padma said thoughtfully. "He never liked being pranked when we were in school. And he knows how much I hate practical jokes."
"I wouldn't say that too soon." Pansy said. "There's no telling what the others will do to him."
"He's still trying to get himself out of trouble from last week." she said. "He won't try anything for a while at least."
"What'd he do?" Ginny said. "He doesn't seem like the type to do anything bad on purpose, unlike the rest of out brood."
"Well, we were going to Muggle London to see a play." Padma said. "Neither one of us know our way around the place very well, so we left out early."
"You're not telling them the story of us getting lost in London, are you Padma?" came Justin Finch-Fletchly's strident voice from the door. The women turned around to look at the man standing in the doorframe. He seemed rather cross and had an aggravated look on his face.
"Everything okay in there?" Ginny asked. "How's the game going?" Justin looked over at her and grinned.
"The Canons are still up by twenty points." he said with a grin. "But, I think you're brother is going to scream himself hoarse at the Puddlemere Keeper, though." Justin said.
"Oliver?" Ginny asked, confused with her brother's tactics, "Why? Ron's going for the Canons, Oliver is Puddlemere's Keeper."
"Well, according to Ron, he keeps missing goals that Ron could have caught if it had been him." Justin said with a grin. "I'm beginning to wonder which team he's actually rooting for. Katie Bell scored against the Canons and I thought he was going to burst with happiness."
"But Katie's on Puddlemere's team." Hermione pointed out. "I thought he was....." Justin shrugged and shook his head.
"Like I said, we haven't determined which team he's going for yet." he said.
"Did you need something, by the way, Justin." Hermione asked. Justin looked thoughtful for a moment, trying to think of why he had come in here.
"You know, Mione," he said. "I don't remember what I came in here for." Padma snorted and turned around.
"Was it for food?" Hermione asked. "The boys have been running in and out of here, getting food for the past half hour."
"I don't remember." Justin said, scratching his head. "Oh, well. I'll think of it later." He turned around and left, leaving the girls looking at him with confused expressions.
"Uh.... Padma." Pansy said. "Is his memory always that bad. I mean, if they sent him in here to get food, it's not like it's a hike up Mt. Everest to get here. He forgot that quickly?"
"Yeah." Padma said, "Justin is a wonderful guy. Really sweet and caring. He takes really good care of me, too. But his memory is perhaps the worst thing in the world, and his sense of direction is even worse than that. And he very seldom admits to having a bad memory. I'm surprised he even remembered the way into the kitchen. Like I said, last week topped the cake."
"Well, what happened?" Pansy asked.
"Well, you know how everyone says that WOMEN have a horrid sense of direction?" She asked. The girls nodded and waited for her to continue. "Well, they never met Justin Aaron Finch-Fletchley......"