Run to the Bridge
Chapter 4 – Not really running away
Disclaimer: I don't own GG, I don't own any books, I don't own any movies or colleges or almost anything else either. I don't exactly wish I owned Jess, but I do wish I knew Jess! lol.
A/N: Once again, I'm sorry it's been so long! I've been so busy with school and everything… And I'm also an excellent procrastinator. lol. But S-H.org is down now, and I want to get this up in celebration of the season premiere tonight if I can…so I hope you like this! Thanks for all the great reviews!! To Luxy – I understand you want Lit action—don't worry, it'll happen, I'm a die-hard lit! However, it's not gonna be right away in this story, that's just not how I'm gonna write it. There are tons of great stories out there and you can also check out some of my other fics if you want. Thanks for reviewing. On with the story! ~Arianna
A couple days went by without any significant events. Jess still didn't want to talk about it. I wanted him to, though—I thought he'd feel better if he did. We still hung around together, reading and stuff, like we always did. Jess tried to avoid most Stars Hollow residents, especially Miss Patty, because parts of the story had gotten around, of course.
I occasionally passed Jimmy on the street. He knew I was Jess' best friend by now, and I think he wanted to talk to me, but I would avoid his eyes. I was still pretty angry with him.
When I was with Jess, I would skate around that subject. I didn't lie to him—I never did, I couldn't—but I somehow didn't want to mention those occasional incidents.
Jess and I were walking together down the sidewalk on a Friday afternoon, when we both ran into Jimmy. Jess froze.
"Uh—" he said.
I couldn't think of anything to say.
We started to leave, when Jimmy spoke.
"Listen, I know I screwed up…"
"Damn right," Jess muttered.
"Yeah, but I have something—some stuff I'd like to tell you and…"
"The—the diner's empty," Jess said in a sort of strangled voice, almost automatically. Luke had driven to Hartford that morning to pick something up, and had said he'd be gone all afternoon. So the diner was closed. Silently, Jess opened it, and the three of us filed inside.
When we got there, I started to turn around, but Jess grabbed my wrist. I nodded and sat down.
"Jess…" Jimmy said awkwardly.
"Hey, you know what you could do?" Jess suggested, looking more like himself again.
"What?"
"Maybe, possibly, you could explain why you hightailed it out of New York the second you saw me? And why you randomly came back, sixteen years later, without any contact with me for my entire life. That might just require a bit of an explanation!" Jess shouted furiously.
"I—"
"Forget it! I don't know why I said what I said; I don't know why I wondered…I don't want to talk to you!" He jumped up and rushed out of the diner again.
I stood there, helplessly.
"He keeps running away…" Jimmy said sadly.
"So you have something in common," I snapped.
He looked up. "Ouch."
"Deal with it."
"Look…do you think I can talk to him…sometime?"
"Eventually," I replied softly. "Listen—he's my best friend, I care about him! I hate that he has to deal with this, and I'd do anything—never mind."
"I'm sorry."
"For appearing like this? Or for ignoring him for sixteen years?"
"Both," Jimmy answered, almost unintelligibly.
"I have to go," I said, and hurried out after Jess.
He was at the bridge, as always. I went over and sat next to him. "Hey," I said softly.
"Hey, Ror."
"You okay?"
"I guess." I squeezed his shoulder gently and said nothing. "It hurts, though," he said finally, showing the side of Jess that only I knew. "I mean, all I know about him is that Luke hates him, and he left me and Liz the day I was born. I think that's why Luke hates him…I don't know if I wanna hear what he has to say. But I kind of do, because…you know, right?"
"Yeah," I said quietly. I was glad he was finally, really talking to me.
"Ror…" Jess never sounded this—open. This…vulnerable. Almost helpless. "I know I'm gonna listen eventually. But I don't think…I can't face it alone. I can't face it at all."
I hugged him fiercely. "You don't have to face it alone. I'm here, and I'll do anything for you. But you can do it. I know you can. I know you better than that." I paused. "Hey…it's okay to be scared."
"I hate it," he admitted.
"Me too. Jess—I really think he wants to talk to you."
Jess pulled out of the hug. "You talked to him?"
"Not really."
"You talked to him."
"I told him…" I was kind of embarrassed. "That I hated that he was doing this. That you are my best friend. And he just said he was sorry, and I left."
"Rory—"
"I'm not lying, Jess! I can't lie to you. You know that."
"Yeah," he relented.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I'm not mad. I think…I need you."
"And I'm here."
"Yeah, I know." We leaned on each other. "You really think he wants to talk to me?" Jess asked cautiously.
I nodded.
"Will you come?"
"Jess…maybe your dad wants to be…you know, alone with you, so he can apologize?"
"Say 'Jimmy.'"
"Okay."
He shook his head. "I don't wanna be alone with him. I don't wanna be alone with him and lose it."
"He might lose it first." I tried to smile. Jess smiled back, bitterly. "Jess—you guys really are alike in some ways."
"Like what?"
"Running away," I said softly.
"No…" He stopped. "I wouldn't really. You always know where to find me."
"I know. But you don't want to talk to him, and that's okay. And—"
"Don't say what he did was okay," Jess said harshly.
"I wasn't going to," I said honestly. I think Jess knew me well enough to know that, though.
"Can we stop talking about this?"
"Of course." I really hoped that what I'd said… I hoped I hadn't hurt Jess. I could probably tell if I had…but I knew he'd hide it.
Things kept getting more complicated. And in a way, I was sort of scared too.
What was it that was so important? What did Jimmy want to tell Jess? I was probably wondering why he was here almost as much as Jess was.
And still, I would always be someone for him to talk to, someone to be there. Someone who couldn't change this, no matter how much I wanted to. And I really wanted to.