townes zamoras. 19.

may, 89 add.

Finals came and went. The improvement from December was visible in Esper, who, despite the darkening shadows under his eyes, remained functional through the rest of the school year. His schoolwork didn't slip nearly as much as it had last semester, and there were no falling asleep incidents. Their finals study sessions were much livelier this round, as Esper was actually speaking, and when Rhylee's fifteenth birthday arrived in the middle of the month, the celebrations went smoothly.

After their last final, they found themselves at Esper's house.

"We're free!" Townes exclaimed, tossing his backpack onto a chair and collapsing on the couch. "God, I love summer."

"Yeah?" Esper asked, smirking with amusement.

"It's the best season."

"Really."

"What, you disagree?"

"Fall is better."

"Take it back."

"Yeah, no."

"Everything's more alive in the summertime," Townes argued. "Everyone's friendlier, and there are no obligations, and no exams or papers or professors… it's amazing."

"Maybe for you," Esper said. "Are you planning to just sit around all summer?"

"I spent last summer getting dragged around Six by my dad," Townes pointed out. "So at least I don't have to do that."

"Fair." Esper sighed. "I don't know. Maybe it'll be nice later on, when I get back, but…"

"It will," Townes said. "It'll be great. We'll finally have time to go find all the cool shit you've been missing out on when you stay home all the time. We can go out!"

Esper smiled weakly. "That sounds nice."

"It will be," Townes insisted. "We can start now and pick it up when you get back. We have, like, over a week."

"That's true."

"And you won't be able to say you're busy studying."

"But I was studying," Esper said with a frown. "I had to fix my GPA after last semester. You know that."

"I know, I know," Townes said. "But! Not anymore!"

"Not anymore," Esper echoed. He sank into the couch next to Townes with a yawn. "It'll be something to look forward to, at least."

"Exactly. This summer will be way better than the last one. For both of us."

Esper looked over at him. "You think so?"

"I know so."

"I hope you're right."

"I know I am."

Townes reached over and squeezed his hand. Esper squeezed back.

night.

After playing cards with Rhylee and Ryden and watching a movie, he ended up staying over that night. By the time either of them thought to check the time, it was late. Made more sense just to stay over. He went up to the spare room he always slept in at Esper's- which had been slowly accumulating random clothes and spare knick-knacks- and fell asleep quickly. It had been a long finals week.

But he didn't sleep through the night. A few hours before dawn, he was woken by a scream. It took him a moment to register what was happening, but then the scream came again, and he threw the covers off, hurrying out the door and down the hall, where he found Rhylee.

"It's okay," she said, hurrying toward his door. "It's just a bad dream."

"Yeah, I know- doesn't sound okay, though-"

"No, it doesn't," Rhylee admitted. "You can go back to bed if you want."

"Nah."

"Then come on-"

Rhylee threw Esper's door open, and Townes followed her inside. Esper had curled into a ball, his sheets a tangled mess, and he wouldn't stop shrieking.

"Esper!" Rhylee shouted. "Wake up!" She ran over to his bedside, grabbing his shoulder. "Come on, wake up-"

Esper's eyes popped open with a gasp, his chest heaving. He buried his head in his hands as Rhylee checked his bedside table. "You're out of water," she told him. "I'll go get some more, okay?"

She grabbed the glass and headed into Esper's bathroom. Townes walked over to his bed, sitting on the edge.

"You okay?" he asked quietly.

Esper peeked through his fingers back at Townes. "Yeah," he said, his voice shaky. "Fine."

"Uh-huh."

"I- I'm sorry you saw that."

"It's fine," Townes shrugged. It was true that he was a little rattled- he'd witnessed one of the bad dreams before, but not nearly to this scale. In front of Esper, though, he tried to stay calm.

"What?"

"It's fine."

"I can't hear you," Esper said.

"It's fine," Townes repeated.

"My hearing aid- it's in the bathroom-"

Rhylee emerged with a full glass of water, walking over and handing it to Esper. "You know the rules," she said. "Drink the whole thing."

Esper took it, gulping down about a third of it before setting it down. "I'm fine," he insisted again.

Rhylee glanced at Townes. "Will you make sure he drinks it all?"

"Sure," Townes nodded. "We'll be good. You can go back to bed."

"All right. You know where to find me if you need anything."

"Of course. Good night."

"Goodnight."

Rhylee went back to bed, shutting the door behind her softly.

Townes turned back to Esper. "Sorry," he said. "I'll speak up. Do you want your hearing aid…?"

"No," Esper sighed, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. "It's fine. I can hear you now."

"Good." Townes hesitated. "Do you usually have a problem hearing me?"

"Well, usually I have it in, so no."

"Good."

"Also, you're loud as fuck most of the time."

"Hey!"

"I thought you knew that."

"You made it sound like a bad thing."

"It's just the truth."

"Whatever. I'll be nice to you and drop it since you had a bad dream."

"What a gentleman."

"I know, right?"

Esper scoffed. He reached for his glass and took another long drink. Once he'd set it back down, Townes said, "Can I ask a question?"

"Depends on the question."

"What was the dream about?"

"Oh. That." Esper took a moment to rearrange his sheets, untangling himself and smoothing them out. Townes watched patiently as he made himself more comfortable. Finally, he answered. "That one was Mavka."

"Mavka?"

"She, um… she was from Two. I let her fall off a building. It was a whole thing. So sometimes I dream that when I… let her fall… she takes me with her… it was complicated."

"Sounds like it."

"It was."

"I thought you weren't having nightmares as much anymore," Townes said.

Esper just looked at him for a moment.

"Did you hear that?"

"Some of it."

"Mind if I scooch closer?"

Esper nodded, and Townes stood from his spot at the edge of the bed, doing a quick lap around it to sit on the other side next to him. "I said," Townes repeated, "I thought you weren't having nightmares so much anymore."

"I'm not," Esper said. "Not as much."

"Yeah?"

"It gets worse when I get stressed," he said.

"What are you stressed about?"

"I…" Esper sighed. "I don't want to go back."

"That makes a lot of sense."

"And I don't want to go to the Reapings, and I don't want… them… to…"

"Me neither," Townes said. "I can help you with that one, though. I'll also be onstage with you."

Esper cocked his head. "Were you last time?"

"No, I was with the other eighteen-year-olds. Before I was eligible, though, I was."

"Because of your dad?"

"Yes."

"Have I told you I don't like your dad very much?"

"You've mentioned it," Townes replied.

"Well, I don't."

"Good to know."

"I just… I keep thinking about, like, how it could happen. There's a chance it could be them. And even if it isn't… I don't want to go back, and I don't want to watch it, and I don't want to try to help people, because- 'cause what am I supposed to fucking tell them? I just- I want to stay here."

"I wish you could, too," Townes said. "And they won't get picked. They won't."

"There's always a chance."

"There's always a chance for a lot of things," Townes pointed out. "There's a chance the weather forecast is wrong and there'll be a freak blizzard tomorrow. There's a chance a piano will fall out of the sky."

"Those aren't life-and-death chances."

"I'd say a piano falling out of the sky is pretty life-and-death, depending on where it lands."

"If it lands on a building, it wouldn't hurt anyone."

"Not if someone was on the roof. Or if it went through the roof."

"This is stupid. That's not gonna happen."

"Exactly!" Townes said. "It won't happen! And neither will this."

Esper gave him a long look. "You really think so."

"Yes."

"You trust your dad on this one?"

"I didn't say that," Townes said. "I'm saying I trust my analysis of the situation. It's not rigged against them, because that makes no sense for him to do, and their chances are slim to none on top of that. I know they'll be okay."

He shifted closer to Esper, their shoulders now touching. "And I know you'll be okay, too."

"I…"

"You'll have Sienna with you," he reminded him. "And my email. And when you get back, we'll have loads of fun stuff planned."

"Yeah?"

"For sure," Townes said. "I'm not leaving until you finish that water, by the way."

Esper sighed and reached for the glass, taking another swig. He was about two-thirds of the way through it now. "I don't know. I don't think I'll be able to stop worrying about it until… you know."

"That makes sense," Townes replied. "I found an upside, though."

"Yeah?"

Townes poked his shoulder. "That they've still got someone around to worry about them."

"That's… that's true."

"Drink more water."

"Bossy," Esper observed.

"I'm just following orders."

"That makes you less bossy?"

"You're still not drinking it."

"Fine." Esper took another sip. "There."

"It's not empty."

"I know. Give me a minute."

Townes leaned back against the pillows. "Almost there, though."

Esper tipped the glass back, finishing it. He set it back on the nightstand. "Happy?"

"Yes."

"Good." Esper settled back next to him, raking his hands through his hair. "What fun that was."

"Does she always have you do that?"

"Pretty much. It's, like… something else to work on and focus on, if that makes sense."

"It does."

"It makes me slow down."

"Seems like a good idea."

"Sometimes," Esper agreed. "Sometimes it's easier not to."

"Did it work? Did you slow down?"

"Just now? Yeah, I guess."

"Do you wanna go back to bed?"

Esper considered. "I'm already in bed."

"Back to sleep, I mean."

"Oh. I… not right this second."

"That's okay."

"You can go back to bed if you want."

Townes shrugged. "I'm good."

"I'm serious. You don't have to stay."

"I know."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure," Townes said. "Do you think I have somewhere better to be?"

"I just didn't want you to feel like you had to."

"I don't."

"Okay. Good."

"Yeah."

Esper leaned his head on his shoulder. Townes reached for his hand and squeezed it, trying to relieve some of the tension in his fingers. Esper squeezed back.

esper myrellis-verilla. 19.

june 1st, 89 add.

morning.

Exactly a year ago, he'd been standing in that crowd of eighteen-year-olds, ready to get the Reapings over with. He'd spent the morning reassuring Ryden- it was his first Reaping, and he'd been nervous- but it hadn't occurred to him that it could have been his name pulled from that bowl.

But it had.

And now he stood on that same stage, not twenty feet from the same bowl. Now, he was fully aware of the power those little slips of paper held. Of the consequences.

(Portia's silent lips-)

(Three's frozen shock-)

(Twelve's familiar eyes-)

(Ten's defiant courage-)

(Eight's fearful begging-)

Why the fuck did people Volunteer for this, again?

Esper fiddled with the cuff of his sleeve, ignoring the Mayor's ongoing speech as he searched the crowds again. Rhylee was still standing next to her friends in the fifteen-year-olds section, and Ryden was still by his with the thirteen-year-olds. He didn't catch Rhylee's eye- she was busy listening to something Helena was whispering in her ear- but he did catch Ryden's.

As subtle as he could, he mouthed, It's okay.

Ryden nodded.

Esper exhaled and shifted his attention to the Mayor, who seemed to be nearing the end of the speech.

(He won't rig it. He won't. Townes said he wouldn't. You believe Townes. He won't rig it. They won't be picked, they will not be picked, you won't have to Mentor them, you won't have to watch them… in the arena… you won't have to see them die, it's not going to happen… it's not going to happen…!)

Standing towards the back of the stage, surrounded by some officials Esper vaguely recognized and some Peacekeepers and his mother, Townes caught his eye. He flashed him a grin, but Esper couldn't bring himself to return it. He nodded a tiny bit, his neck stiff.

Before Townes could do anything else, his father concluded the speech, and their Escort stepped forward. Esper recognized them from last year, but didn't remember their name. He supposed he should learn it sooner or later, but the bedazzled rhinestone outfit was putting him off a bit.

"With no further ado, let's find out who our tributes are, shall we?" they announced, standing a bit too close to the microphone. Esper winced as feedback rang out through the speakers. "As is custom, my dear District Six- ladies first!"

They stepped toward the bowl on the left, the one closer to Townes, and fished around in there for a good thirty seconds longer than was necessary. Esper bit his lip, forcing himself to stay calm as they practically played with the slips. He barely managed to repress an eyeroll. Finally, they removed a single slip. They returned to the microphone to read the name, once again stepping too close.

"Vespasia Stelvio!"

Relief washed over him, and Esper let out a breath, wringing his hands together. She's okay. Rhylee's okay. She's okay.

And then he recognized the last name.

As the crowd of seventeen-year-olds parted to let Vespasia through, he looked at Townes, whose eyes were wide. But Townes wasn't looking at him, he was looking at his father, who… who also seemed… surprised?

(But he'd rigged it. He had to have rigged it. Stelvio ran against him, called him on voter fraud, and now his daughter was in the Games? That couldn't be a coincidence.

So why was the Mayor surprised?)

Vespasia arrived onstage and stood next to their Escort, her face made of stone. She was tall and thin, her long black hair worn loose, her blue dress lovely but not flashy. She ignored everyone on that stage, staring straight ahead as murmurs went through the crowd.

"As for our male tribute," the Escort continued. They walked to the bowl on the right, the one nearer Esper, and dragged out the slip-selecting even longer than they had the previous time. Esper gritted his teeth, his heart racing- get this over with, holy fuck…

Finally- finally- they pulled a slip out and went back to the microphone. "Our male tribute…" they announced, "is… Diatto de Tomaso!"

It's not him. Oh my god… it's not him…

The relief overwhelmed him, and he blinked quickly, not willing to show any further vulnerability in public. The second tribute made his way onstage from the sixteen-year-olds, and the Escort gestured for the audience to applaud, which they did half-heartedly. The Peacekeepers started to move, guiding Vespasia and Diatto toward the train station, and the crowd started to disperse. In the chaos, Townes made his way over to Esper.

"They're okay," he said. "See?"

"Yeah," Esper managed. "I… I think I have to go to the train now."

"I'll walk you."

"Okay."

Townes reached for his hand and gave it a quick squeeze. Esper squeezed back, and then they headed towards his train.

He'd been bracing himself for- well, for something. His memories of the trip to the Capitol largely consisted of himself and Portia being absolutely furious, yelling at each other and their Mentor and the television, pissed at their predicament.

Vespasia and Diatto were not like that.

Vespasia was cold. Quiet. Her stony stare from the Reapings had not faded, and every conversation Esper attempted with her was clipped and concise. Diatto was quiet, too, but his quiet was softer. Esper could see his anxiety plainly, and he sympathized. He did. But the boy was also fairly skittish, and Esper's presence didn't seem to be helping, so he tried to stay at a safe distance.

After managing to get them to watch the Reapings, and a brief conversation with each on parade strategies, he retreated to his room. He was no longer assigned to one of the tribute compartments; instead, he found himself in one of the rooms marked Mentor, a bit larger and a bit more lavish. He settled in uneasily, restless for a good several hours before he managed to fall asleep.

(At least his own family was safe this year. As awful as this was, his own family was being looked out for, secure in the knowledge that he would come back. For them, he would always make it back. Always.

That didn't make Mentoring easier- and he wasn't even at the difficult part yet- but he tried to ground himself in that fact.

No one would ever try to stop him from going home again.)

the next morning.

After handing his tributes off to their stylists- he tried to warn them the best he could about what they were in for- he was guided to a lounge filled with people. It took him a moment to register who they were: the other Victors.

What really drove that point home, though, was a flash of light blonde hair, followed by Sienna Asher crashing into him and giving him a bear hug.

"Hi!" she said, knocking the wind out of him before he could respond. "It's been so long!"

He wheezed out a laugh in spite of himself. "Not that long," he replied.

She wiggled her eyebrows. "A lot has happened, though. Finals, and birthdays, and Townes..."

"True," he conceded, rolling his eyes. He glanced at the other Mentors- several were watching their interaction, clearly interested. As his gaze wandered around the room, a young woman with blonde hair and pale blue eyes, just a few years older than him and Sienna, scoffed and turned away. He caught the woman next to her, somewhere in her mid-twenties, smirking with amusement.

She noticed him looking away. "I can introduce you to people," she offered. She leaned in closer, so only she could hear him. "The nice ones, of course."

"That would be great."

"Perfect!" She grabbed his arm and pulled him into the corner, where a few more Mentors were milling around. "Okay. This is Dimitri- he's from Ten- and next to him is Grover from Eleven. They're both really nice, even though Dimitri sometimes pretends he isn't."

The man on the left regarded Sienna. "The fuck?"

"Exactly like that," Sienna said. "This is Esper."

The man on the right reached to shake his hand. "Welcome," he said, his voice warm and soothing. "It's nice to meet you."

"You as well," Esper said, shaking his hand. He turned to Dimitri, who begrudgingly returned the handshake as well. Sienna proceeded to bring him around to the rest of the room- there was Albert from Five, Acadia from Seven, Senna from Eight, Kellin from Three- before pulling him aside to check in.

"How are you?" she asked.

He sighed. "Fine." He glanced around again. "I don't see Piers."

"I think he got the year off," Sienna answered, her tone almost apologetic. "Since you won."

"That's shitty."

"It is," she agreed. "We can say hi to the Careers, if you want."

"Probably a decent idea, right?"

"I'll give you a brief overview beforehand," she said. "On the far end is Finnick. He's actually very nice. He doesn't really get caught up in the Career stuff like some of the others. He's from Four. Braun is next to him- he's from One, and he's really intense. He might hold Games stuff against you. And then the other guy is Godric, who I never really interact with. He's from Two. Aurelia is the older one off to the side- she's talking to Diana."

He recognized Aurelia as the woman who had smirked at their reunion, and Diana as the one who'd turned away. "Great."

She led the way over to them, walking up to Finnick's side. "Hi!" she said, her tone suddenly bright. "I just wanted to introduce Esper really quick."

"Hello," Esper nodded. Braun's stare was hard, but Finnick gave him a friendly grin, and Godric didn't seem to mind his presence. Diana ignored them, although Esper got the sense that was less about him than Sienna.

Aurelia looked over, sidling up next to Godric. "Hi," she said. She looked at Sienna. "Hey."

"Hi," Sienna said, breaking out in a half-smile. Esper glanced at Finnick, the most expressive of the group, and saw that he'd raised his eyebrows. Finnick caught his eye and gave him a small shrug.

"Good to see you."

"You too."

Finnick kept his eyes on Esper. "Piers says hello, by the way," he said.

"Oh," Esper said, shifting his weight from foot to foot. "How is he?"

"He's alright," Finnick replied. "A little jittery, but that's usually the case."

"Yeah?"

"Yes."

Esper shrugged. "He never talked to me much."

Finnick sighed. "That's… not surprising. He gets in his own head a lot."

"I see."

The large screen hanging on the wall behind Finnick flickered to life.

"Sienna!" Dimitri called from across the room. "Parade's about to start!"

"We should go sit," Sienna said, turning to Esper.

"Okay." He glanced at the Career Mentors. "Nice to meet you all."

"You too," Finnick said, and Aurelia nodded, her gaze shifting to Sienna one more time before the groups parted.

"That was interesting," Esper muttered.

Sienna shrugged. "Finnick Mentored Piers," she said. "And, I mean… I think they know how you feel about, uh, Volunteering."

"Fair enough. What do we do now?"

"We watch the Parades and then bring our tributes back to the Training Center and Mentor them some more," Sienna said. "While they're training for the next few days, we'll be working."

"On what?"

"All sorts of stuff," Sienna said. "There's a lot of behind-the-scenes stuff. Networking, talking to sponsors… a decent amount of media stuff. Other than the official stuff that goes out to the districts, there's some extra things that go on in the Capitol. And the more comments you give, and interviews you do, the more people are likely to get invested in your tributes, and then sponsor them… and it helps with the Gamemakers too, I think, if tributes are popular. Personally, I think it makes them go a little easier on certain tributes. I think. But I can't be sure. I just try to network as much as I can. And, of course, there are the official sponsorship parties. Those are important."

"Makes sense…" Esper trailed.

"But for now, the parade," Sienna said. She sighed. "I hope the costumes aren't too awful."

"We'll have to see."

"I mean yours will probably be fine. Twelve's have always been terrible."

"Fine still isn't good."

"Better than terrible."

"If they can pull it off."

"Do you think they can?" she asked.

He considered. "Vespasia, possibly. I don't know about Diatto."

The seal blazed across the screen, and Sienna pulled him to sit down by Dimitri and Grover.

the next few days.

Sienna was right- when not trying to guide their tributes, Mentors kept busy. He appreciated this, as he'd always preferred to be kept busy- it kept the memories at bay. It would have been a lot of work even if it weren't for Vespasia being Reaped. With that in mind, he increased his efforts. He was certain it had been rigged somehow, by someone, and while he was grateful it wasn't Rhylee in her place, it was becoming clear that Vespasia associated him with the Zamoras administration, and that it was the Mayor she blamed for her predicament.

Both did okay in their private sessions- Vespasia better than Diatto- and their interviews went fine. Diatto was meek, Vespasia aloof. Upon returning to the Training Center, Diatto quickly retreated to his room.

Before Vespasia could do the same, Esper called after her. "Could I talk to you for a minute?"

Vespasia turned, the skirts of her green dress shimmering with the movement. "I thought you said you'd go over the Games in the morning," she said coolly.

"I will," he replied. "With both of you. I just meant you."

"What is it?" she asked, her tone unchanged.

"I… I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"That you're here."

She narrowed her eyes. "So it's true, then?"

"I wouldn't know."

"Sounds like you do."

"Based on my conversations with the Mayor, I can only have suspicions," Esper said carefully.

"The Mayor," Vespasia said. "You mean your boyfriend's dad?"

"I don't like him either."

"No one does," she replied. "That's why he rigged the votes. That's why he rigged me in."

"But I want you to know that I don't support that," Esper said. "It's fucked up. And I'm not part of it- I'm trying as hard as I can to get you out."

She was silent for a moment, trying to read him. Esper could have sworn he saw something slip, but if he did, the crack was tiny.

Finally, her gaze unblinking, she replied. "Don't waste your time. We both know I have no chance."

"Vespasia-"

She turned and headed to her room, and Esper let her go.

june 8th, 89 add.

morning.

Vespasia and Diatto were taken away in the hovercraft. After they left, Sienna swung by the sixth floor to walk him to the building next door, where they'd spend most of the Games. She brought him to a large room, filled with screens on every wall and desks and chairs. As soon as he got himself oriented with the monitors- he had one tablet tracking Vespasia's position and another following Diatto, another device linked to media about his tributes, another for sponsors, and the larger screens on the walls- it was time to go.

He glanced across the room at Sienna, his hands shaky. She was pale, tapping rapidly on a keyboard, and her attempt at a reassuring smile was tight. He tried to offer one in return, equally stiff.

The timer finished counting down.

The tributes had emerged in a junkyard, surrounded by scrap parts in towering piles. They wore boots and overalls, and all of the weapons in the Cornucopia were, on trend with last year, tools- wrenches, screwdrivers, nails, everything he could possibly imagine being useful. The tributes descended on them like moths to flame, and-

-there went Diatto.

Esper's chest tightened as a Career hit him upside the head with a hammer. When he fell to the ground, he was still twitching. One more hit from the Career left him still, his cheek pressed to the dirt, his eyes wide.

(Eight's tearful begging-)

He turned off Diatto's screen and focused on Vespasia. She was running, a wrench and a backpack clutched in her hand, alongside the Eight boy. They disappeared among the junk, and Esper sat back in his chair, trying to forget the blankness in Diatto's dead eyes.

By the time the Bloodbath had concluded, nine were dead, including Diatto. Sienna had lost her female tribute, too, and her eyes were watery when Esper made his way over to her.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"So am I," she replied.

He hugged her, and she hugged him back.

He was talking to Albert, the Mentor from Five- he'd found the man, who was one of the few pre-Quell Victors still around, fairly easy to get along with- when the earthquake started.

Albert's gaze snapped to the wall. "What is that?"

Esper returned to his monitor. Around Vespasia and her ally, the piles of junk were quaking, unsteady in their construction and made even more so by the tremors in the ground.

"Run!" Vespasia was screaming. Her ally turned to do so, slipping between the piles. Vespasia made to follow- she was light, she was fast, she had a chance-

no.

She never had.

The junk crashed down on top of her, and the cannon fired.

Esper's heart pounded in his chest as the dust settled around the spot she'd disappeared, stunned by the swiftness.

(She'd been right.)

"Fuck," he muttered. What else was there to say?

that night.

"Do you think," Esper asked, "he could have connections, all the way out here?"

"Who, your Mayor?" Sienna asked, tapping away on a tablet. He'd made his way up to the twelfth floor, his Mentorship over after losing both tributes on the first day.

(He had never liked failing, but this… this hurt. There was something about the helplessness of it, in the end, that kept unsettling him. He could try as hard as he wanted to, raise as many sponsorship dollars, advise them as expertly as possible… but he couldn't stop the sledgehammer from cracking Diatto's skull, or the junk from burying Vespasia alive.

He couldn't do a single fucking thing, and he hated having his agency taken from him.)

"Yeah."

"I don't know. Maybe." Sienna bit her lip. "You really think…?"

"Yeah," Esper said. "Vespasia? Stelvio's daughter? Yes."

"But do you think he has so much influence he could not only do that, but, like… it was an arena event that killed her. Not another tribute."

"Isn't that more evidence?" Esper asked, running a hand through his hair.

"Maybe," Sienna said, her voice clouded with doubt. "I just… it seems like a lot."

"The Mayor is a lot."

"Fair. I'm just saying there are easier ways to get a point across than to have someone killed on television."

"Maybe that's the point. He's making an example of her."

"If he could even do that," Sienna said. "Listen, I don't disagree. Maybe he did something. But even, like, killing someone… it seems like too much. And why not go after the other guy himself?"

"He's a piece of shit, that's why."

"Mmm. Oh!"

"What?"

"Grover just sent me a message," she said. "Apparently one of the Fours ran off with his tribute."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. They ditched the Careers for her."

Esper made a noise in his throat.

"What's that about?"

"Careers."

"They're not all terrible, you know."

"Most of them. And they still all Volunteered… we've been over this. You're not changing my mind."

"Grover said it seems genuine. Apparently they're holding hands."

"Oh, yeah, because that's gonna end well."

"It probably won't," Sienna said slowly. "So let them have their moment."

"What's Grover's tribute named again?"

"Hibiscus."

"Tell him I said Hibiscus should get the fuck away from the Career."

"That's probably already occurred to him," Sienna pointed out. "You don't trust his judgment?"

"I didn't say that."

"If you say so."

Esper squinted. "What are you doing over there?"

She finally looked up from the tablet. "Oh. Searching the Games archives."

"For what?"

"Footage from my Games," she answered.

"You've already seen it."

She gave him a meaningful look. "Specific footage."

"Like…?"

"Caligula footage."

"Why?"

"You know why," she said. "Besides. Maybe I can prove to you that Careers aren't all bad, once and for all."

"Good luck with that," he said.

She gave him a wry look. "I'll need it."

the rest of the games.

Esper went back to the Mentors with Sienna the next few days, until she eventually lost her second tribute. Grover's tribute, Hibiscus, made it much farther than Esper would have anticipated- pretty far, that was, until the remaining Careers tracked down the one who had defected. Birch. The group killed Hibiscus, but not before Birch killed two of them, and while the others retreated, Birch wept over Hibiscus' body.

(Of course it was the outer-district tribute who paid the price for the relationship. Of course it was. Not the Career. Never the Career.)

The Capitol seemed to love the story. Two lovers torn apart by vengeance, only for the one left behind to let it drive them forward. After Hibiscus' death, Birch went cold. After they finished their grieving, their expression never cracked. Not at the feast, not in the finale, and not when they won the Games.

(District Four. Of course it was fucking District Four.)

(Sirenna's bitter falsehoods-)

(Lio's choked cries-)

(Once again, they kept him up at night.)

But at least now, he could go home.

Esper and Sienna took the train back to the districts together. Sienna's was the stop at the end of the line. Esper's was on the way. Together, they spoke of the summer ahead, of the Mentors they'd spent time with- anything to avoid the horrors of what they'd yet again witnessed.

(What they'd yet again remembered.)

And yet again, the train pulled into District Six's station.

And waiting for him were three people.

Ryden.

Rhylee.

Townes.

His siblings crashed into him, hugging him tightly. Townes was holding flowers, his grin bigger than ever as he gave Esper a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"It's good to have you back," he murmured.

"It's good to be back," Esper said, unable to keep the relief out of his voice.

Townes looked over at Sienna, who was watching all this from the doorway of the train. "The famous Sienna!" he exclaimed.

She smiled. "The famous Townes."

He put a hand on his chest, feigning shock. "You've heard of me?"

"Of course I have," she laughed.

Townes gave Esper a look. "Sounds like you're obsessed with me."

"Am not." He caught Rhylee nodding. "Hey!"

Townes pulled a flower out of the bunch and approached Sienna, who gave him one of her signature bear hugs.

"Thank you," she said, her smile big. "I'd love to stay, but I need to get home, too."

"We won't keep you," Esper said, and she hugged him too.

"You'll write me?"

"Of course. As long as you write back."

"Of course."

And then the train took her away, leaving the four of them on the platform.

Ryden linked his arm around Esper's. "C'mon," he said. "Let's go home."

Esper couldn't agree more.

and that's the end of gaytober!

i owe a couple of thank-yous:

- thank you, first and foremost, to dyl. thank you for esper, thank you for collaborating on townes with me, thank you for supporting me as my copium spiraled into... this lmao. you're the best. i hope you have enjoyed this gay ass fic, because i sure did.

- thank you to laney for looking pretty much everything over, you're the best

- thank you to linds for that goofy coffee order. spot-on!

- thank you to honey for birch... small appearance here, but they'll be around in fg! how fun is that!

- thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed! your support is so lovely and i really do appreciate it!

tbh this fic might update again in the future. i love these idiots and they definitely get up to lots more dumb gay stuff in the next several years: this is just where i'm tying it off for now.

alright. that's all from me for now. gn!

rb