Repercussions: Final Act Se7en Angels
Jonny closed his eyes, the soft tapping kept becoming louder and louder. He began drifting into a solemn slumber when the soft tapping became a long banging.
He opened his eyes slightly nervous of what he might find trying to disturb him.
"Jonny, you've been in the bathroom for the past two hours, you're not the only person who uses it, now get out!" Jessie barked, holding her towel and bathing supplies, that for her own peace of mind, she always has with her if it is not in her room.
Jonny turned off the water, sat up gingerly and stepped out of the downpour of water. His clothes were soaked, as was he when he opened the door and slunk off to his room to change.
She glanced over him, "Jonny. why are your clothes all wet?" She sighed, "You wore them in the shower again?"
Hadji smirked, looking at his brother, "You look like you fell into the toilet, my friend."
"Ha Ha, no, I just used your toothbrush to clean it though." He smirked bitterly and returned to his glowering face still on his trek to his room.
Jessie shrugged and walked into the bathroom. "Hey, what happened to the mirror-- JONNY!" She spat. Rushing from the bathroom, leaving her possessions behind as markers, she rushed to confront the boy. "Jonathon Quest, what in hell makes you think you can just keep breaking the mirrors?! SOME of the people in this household still use them, even though you seem to think you're too good for them."
Hadji groaned, "Jessie, he broke another mirror?" He asked, placing himself in between the irate redhead and his groggy brother.
"Apparently walking past one is just too tempting, hmm Jonny."
Jonny rolled his eyes, "Listen, bitch, I don't give a shit, just leave me alone. If you're REALLY tired of me destroying them, here's an idea, STOP REPLACING THEM." He snarled now closing his door and locking himself into his room.
Hadji blinked, "I do not believe he has adjusted to the new marks he has acquired."
"No shit, too bad he doesn't even LOOK in a mirror though, then he'd realize they are all but present. The only ones supposedly still there are the ones on his back, and even they are believed to be just slight discoloration. He's just being his typical drama-whore-queen self."
"Jessie!" Hadji sighed, "He is in shock, and YOU are just still upset that he tried to strangle you over a month ago. Just leave him alone."
"Hadji, did you know Dr. Quest still hasn't told Jonny about Zeke's execution?"
Hadji growled, "Again, it is because he is in shock and father does not wish to traumatize Jonny any further--"
"I say we tell him! That would cheer him up!" Jessie smiled all too happily.
"Are you even LISTENING to me? He is in shock, S-H-O-C-K, that knowledge could damage his entire psyche and leave him like a broken branch after a lightning storm."
"Hadji, my dad and you have GOT to stop hanging around with each other. One that made sense and TWO that was dumbed down so much it *could* make sense."
"Grrrrr." Hadji continued to growl a dangerous sound as he too had the pleasurable thought of throttling the brainless redhead.
Jonny leaned into his bed, soaking it with his wet set of second skin. He wrapped his arms around his legs; his head drooped into his forearms turning them into pillows.
'You are so worthless Jonathon Quest, look at those hideous scars, you know, they match your eyes so well, ugly as shit.'
He tried to get the familiar voice out of his head. 'Why does this bother me. what she thinks.' He shivered, '.Does she even think that.? .I keep pushing her away but she keeps talking to me. in my mind. in the house. damn it why won't she just shut up!' He flinched his eyes shut. He stood up angrily and threw his damp shirt into the hamper; it hit the lid, sliding into the collecting area leaving a trail of splatter, he snarled as he slid on another shirt.
As the shirt slid over his back the window flashed his reflection of his soft skin briefly, Jonny glanced back at it. The marks were all gone except for some slight scabbing that remained where the cuts had been deepest. He quickly turned his attention on the glass and his eyes became fixated with his likeness. Tears ran through his eyes as he fondled the icy image of him. His fingers slid down the glass longingly, he drew back his hand and slammed it into the glass hard, making a shattering sound travel throughout the house.
Glass shards stuck out of his knuckles and he groaned indignantly. Blood started seeping from the wounds yet all he could find himself doing, besides holding his wrist, was to stare at the blood in morbid fascination.
Jessie stood outside the window for the longest time, "Why does his window look so. livid, so bright?" She glanced at the almost stark white shimmer beside Jonny's window; slowly it dawning on her that it had been shattered.
Jonny's laugh crept out of the window and befell her ears. He started hyperventilating, he threw his bleeding arm across the walls; his eyes small yet open widely. He continued laughing almost maniacally.
Dr. Quest pounded on the door. "Jonny! Open the door!"
Jonny sat back down, swaying himself forth and back, touching his blood completely absorbed in the sight.
"OPEN THE DOOR!" Benton pounded on the door.
Hadji quickly came beside his father holding a hairpin as he began to break into the door. As he forced the door open he shouted a well placed, "Sim, Sim Salabim." He glanced around nervously, hoping to keep his father in the dark about the truth his magic tricks held. "Oh! Look, magically I opened the door. Clap damn you clap."
Hadji walked over to Jonny and slumped down beside him. Jonny, keeping his attention on the pretty red stains didn't acknowledge their presence until Dr. Quest started to pry Jonny's hand away from his chest and start removing glass.
Jonny glared at the man with a look of one thousand knives piercing his heart. He then turned away to look at the glass his father discarded haphazardly onto the floor. "Hadji, please take the gauze out."
"And the peroxide?"
"And the peroxide." He put Jonny's wrist into a firm grip so he would be unable to struggle out of the hold, "Pour some peroxide onto the cuts, please."
Hadji nodded and quickly did his duty, thankful that Jonny did not seem aware enough to scream. Dr. Quest brought up the gauze and wrapped Jonny's hand gently. He then took out the ace bandage, as he began to wrap the sensitive skin, Jonny came out of his repertoire and attempted to sink his teeth into Benton's arm.
Hadji, ever quick to his feet slid his hand against Jonny's forehead and pushed it upward, leaving Jonny's neck in competition for strength with Hadji's arm. Hadji's arm quickly won as the boy gave up his hunt for his prey.
"Hadji, can you ask Race to fix the window? Ask his to spray it with hairspray to cut down on its reflection, if you remember, alright?"
Hadji nodded. A slight voice in the back of his mind bickered to him, 'Since when did you become your brother's keeper?' Hadji quickly grew angry at the voice as his mind rationalized, 'And how often has he been mine? Of course he can be impetuous and pious but he IS my junior and I his senior. It is only right that his older brother be the one more mature than he, even if he thinks he is the more matured. which I do not think is the case as he is a complete puerile, I think he is just barely mature enough to realize he is grossly incompetent in the fields of most mature thought.' He nodded to himself and walked off to find Race.
Jessie glared at the reflection until the glass became walled off by a dim sheen and eventually fell flat. She walked inside the house and towards the near empty kitchen.
Shocked to find Jonny sitting at the kitchen, chewing an apple that he held very contemplatively in his bandaged hand, he drew the juicy Granny Apple to his mouth and bit into the green skin, small bits of liquid escaped the apple in a sprits that sprayed the table faintly and stuck to his cheek in one cute, yet annoying speck.
Jessie watched him for a moment, almost as fixated to he as he had been to the blood. She walked up to him, almost forgetting the place she had recently been assigned to by him, and wiped it off his face.
She smiled softly at the touch.
Jonny did not take the intrusion anywhere near as well. He glared at her with fierce venom and threw the apple down, "Why the fuck did you touch me you filthy bitch?! Now I'm going to have to scrub myself with lye!" He angrily walked towards the storage cabinet that stood two mere feet from the sink.
Jessie, realizing they actually had lye, dove at Jonny and pinned him to the ground, causing him to scream and begin to lash out kicks and throwing fists at the unwelcomed attack. "Get-off-of-me-get-off-of-me-get-off-of- me!" His scream bellowed as he lashed at her.
Quick to her strengths she was able to refrain him, "DAMN IT JONNY! Stop being so difficult!"
He grabbed for the cabinets, twisting to his side, but as Jonny had once learned, when Jessie wants someone pinned to the ground, particularly him, she could do it with far too much ease.
If he had been thinking clearly enough he might have damned Race for his diligent teachings of holds to his daughter and damn him for not teaching Jonny throws anywhere near as conclusively.
"Get-off-of-me-get-off-of-me-get-off-of-me-get-off-of-me-leave-me-alone-god- why-are-you-looking-at-me-what-did-I-do-wrong-what-did-I-do-to-you?!" His eyes welled with tears as he threw his arms in one last attempt at Jessie's throat and face.
The stray fists hit her, and astonished from Jonny's last strand of near- hyperventilating dialog, she was taken aback.
Using this opportunity to his full advantage, Jonny quickly slid out from under her and ran to his room crying, breathing shallow gasps. His face was a flush red and his cries came off as falsettos.
He winced his eyes closed as he slid into his room and Hadji stood there, diligently.
Jonny glanced at his elder, wondering why he was there and pondering what this meant.
"What is wrong?" Hadji's voice was smooth running and slow, almost hypnotic in his thick tongue and soothing speech.
"Get-out-get-out-get-out!" Jonny panted, pushing the boy towards the door. Hadji moved only an inch at first and then was halted.
He glanced at him once more, in a scrutinizing view. For the first time in a long while, he expressed a sentiment of pure anger, "Seriously Jonny can you just shut the fuck up for once, gather a THOUGHT in that thick little skull of yours, process it in that slower still brain of yours and say something with meaning?! Just ONCE! Now, I reiterate, what is wrong .with you.?" The last came off so snide Hadji was shocked he said it, and Jonny's reaction was no fraction of Hadji's disbelief.
Jonny's arms drooped to his side almost knocking him off balance, though that would be hard to tell, as he crumpled to the floor seconds later, sobbing hysterically, "Warum würden Sie das sagen?" (Why would you say that?) "Was habe ich gemacht? Sie... Sie hassen mich... gleich wie sie.. FICKEN SIE AUSSTEIGEN!" (What did I do? You. you hate me. just like her. FUCK YOU GET OUT!)
Hadji snarled he raised his hand almost ready to smack the boy. He glared at himself angrily and stormed out, 'What in the world is wrong with me?!' He took in several breaths to meditate, 'I knew this would happen. father is blinded about this; his naivety is hurting us all. Jonny belongs in a hospital.' The small voice that upset him picked up again, 'You could always put him there, and not just by volunteering him, I know you want to throw him down the steps, after all, you and I are all and the same.' This caused Hadji to snarl, 'NO! You and I are not the same, we are nothing ALIKE!' he was amazed that even in arguing with himself he didn't feel his grip to reality slipping at all, 'Oh really, why don't you go back there and ask HIM about that. I bet he'd say differently, what were you about to do? What did you plan on doing with your hand way in the air, high five him? No, I didn't think so, you and I ARE the same, the only difference is I have more conviction than you.'
"Saying I have done nothing and neither have you, I would say that is a fabrication." Hadji spat at himself, he glanced around immediately afterwards, hoping no one was in earshot.
Jonny rocked back and forth until his eyes finally snapped open, now dry, yet stained where the tears had been. He stood up quickly, the room slightly spinning; he wobbled with affirmation towards the bedroom door. He made his way towards the kitchen he tried to remember what he wanted to do there.
As he stepped into the kitchen, his eyes fell upon a half-eaten apple. He nodded to himself and picked up a new apple and began the process of devouring it, contemplating who would leave an apple there.
Jessie glared at him from the door, "Looking for something?" She added vehemently.
Jonny shook his head, "Nope, I have my apple, leave me alone." He continued to concentrate on his apple diligently, until his thought wondered onto one of his more recent dreams.
"Jessie. why do you hate me?" He asked in less a hurt voice, but more of a naïve, inquisitive voice.
"What? Why would I hate you?!" Jessie said, anger building.
"I know you do, you don't have to lie." She glared at him, "Is it because I was chosen to be an angel. and you weren't?"
Jessie rolled her eyes and tried counting to ten, 'He's not himself. this isn't him. he's not himself. Jonny's not this big an idiot. What am I saying, of course he is!'
"Is it because I mean more than you?"
Jessie growled a low, inaudible sound. 'Just keep pushing it Quest.'
"Because my purpose is so much-"
Jessie struck him across the face, "Listen asshole, I don't know WHO you think you are, because one, I KNOW it's not Jonny, even HIS stupidity holds SOME bounds. and two, your precious little destiny, that would have cost you YOUR life already cost Ezekiel Rage's life. Your savior or whatever you want to call that psycho cult leader is DEAD. D-E-A-D DEAD! An agent PRACTICALLY dismembered him, about as nice of a job he did to YOU so shut the hell up and leave me alone, because frankly, if MY destiny was to be mistreated and ripped apart like THAT I would not go advertising it as the better thing, understand? You are NOT a martyr, for one thing, MARTYRS DON'T SURVIVE. Not like the Jonny *I* cared about did. No, you know what, JONNY is a martyr, because you, you empty vessel, are nothing but an empty husk, a shell, dead. You house no light or soul you are an abomination so get away from me, do you hear me you void?"
He stumbled into the drawer; he turned and began shuffling through it. Jessie walked out of the room completely ignoring him, too angry to see straight, let alone think that way.
He fell hard onto his knees grasping a knife ever ready to continue with his thought. He pressed it into the soft skin. Just one slice, or twist and it will all stop.
He stared into the metallic reflection. As if by seeing his reflection he was forced to reflect on himself. His eyes welled with tears, which only added to his anger.
He started to whisper to himself, "You never used to cry like this. you are so weak it's disgusting."
As if his words alien, he found himself tempted to answer. "Liar, I used to cry like this before. this pain inside is not new, just the pain outside that is unique."
He dropped the knife and walked to the bathroom as if in search for more contemplation.
The door slid shut and for the first time in a month he was happy to have his eyes befall the mirror, though now it was only shards. He focused his eyes onto the shards, a broken image mending in his mind.
"...There is nothing wrong with this, with me. I did no wrong, and I am and always will be the boy in the mirror looking at me."
He touched the mirror lightly, almost neglecting the dangers of the glass to pricking his fingers. Two small droplets of blood escaped the tips of his fingers; he turned his hand upward to catch the blood. Again, his eyes focused onto the crimson juice.
"How much of this have I spilled to go around and clumsily do this to myself?" He touched his head as if a strong headache encroached.
"That's right. I remember. Far too much."
".and more blood was spilled in my name."
".what have I done? What have I allowed to BE done."
He quickly walked into his room and sat onto his floor trying to collect his thoughts, he felt vague yet sharp, like a scenery in a photograph, all the trees and leaves, glass, and snow blurred all into one, the only focus is one lonesome snowflake falling helplessly and yet precariously, telling the tale of an imminent woe and endless beauty.
He looked out of the window, as though the sky had plucked his thoughts and sent them into the clouds; the first droplets of rain began to trickle down the sky.
"Tears." Jonny thought with a light smile, tears echoing, tumbling precariously down his face as the rain fell to the earth, his tears hit the floor.
"No. I shouldn't be sad," the same thought of snowflakes falling around him came to mind, now more and more snow fell and became less and less focused, the world around him coming into fine tunes. "The snow isn't to blame for the blizzard, not on it's own, the wind and the cold and the skies and the ground all play part. I should not feel sad, while the others were buried in these emotions, as the avalanches consumed them, I was able to dig myself out, I fought to survive once and damn it, I DID survive. So why do I pity myself? For being who I have always been? No, I couldn't have saved them I didn't know of them. It was all a tactic to break me."
"Break me." He swore under his breath and his eyes became as clear as ever. "Never."
He sat up with new conviction and walked outside. "No longer will I be broken, no longer will I be weak. THIS IS WHO I AM AND I SHALL NOT FALTER!" He cried out to no one in particular. The cry boomed across the landscape yet fell silent to all that may have wondered what the noise was.
He raised his arms and walked through the rain, happy to be alive, because, if he didn't take joy in his life, how could anyone else? He had survived.
He HAD survived.
He was not and is not a void.
He is alive.
He is a survivor and surviving is what a survivor does.
~Fin~
Oh, don't worry my friends. the epic shall continue, just not in this ficcie, for you see. closure has been obtained. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Jonny closed his eyes, the soft tapping kept becoming louder and louder. He began drifting into a solemn slumber when the soft tapping became a long banging.
He opened his eyes slightly nervous of what he might find trying to disturb him.
"Jonny, you've been in the bathroom for the past two hours, you're not the only person who uses it, now get out!" Jessie barked, holding her towel and bathing supplies, that for her own peace of mind, she always has with her if it is not in her room.
Jonny turned off the water, sat up gingerly and stepped out of the downpour of water. His clothes were soaked, as was he when he opened the door and slunk off to his room to change.
She glanced over him, "Jonny. why are your clothes all wet?" She sighed, "You wore them in the shower again?"
Hadji smirked, looking at his brother, "You look like you fell into the toilet, my friend."
"Ha Ha, no, I just used your toothbrush to clean it though." He smirked bitterly and returned to his glowering face still on his trek to his room.
Jessie shrugged and walked into the bathroom. "Hey, what happened to the mirror-- JONNY!" She spat. Rushing from the bathroom, leaving her possessions behind as markers, she rushed to confront the boy. "Jonathon Quest, what in hell makes you think you can just keep breaking the mirrors?! SOME of the people in this household still use them, even though you seem to think you're too good for them."
Hadji groaned, "Jessie, he broke another mirror?" He asked, placing himself in between the irate redhead and his groggy brother.
"Apparently walking past one is just too tempting, hmm Jonny."
Jonny rolled his eyes, "Listen, bitch, I don't give a shit, just leave me alone. If you're REALLY tired of me destroying them, here's an idea, STOP REPLACING THEM." He snarled now closing his door and locking himself into his room.
Hadji blinked, "I do not believe he has adjusted to the new marks he has acquired."
"No shit, too bad he doesn't even LOOK in a mirror though, then he'd realize they are all but present. The only ones supposedly still there are the ones on his back, and even they are believed to be just slight discoloration. He's just being his typical drama-whore-queen self."
"Jessie!" Hadji sighed, "He is in shock, and YOU are just still upset that he tried to strangle you over a month ago. Just leave him alone."
"Hadji, did you know Dr. Quest still hasn't told Jonny about Zeke's execution?"
Hadji growled, "Again, it is because he is in shock and father does not wish to traumatize Jonny any further--"
"I say we tell him! That would cheer him up!" Jessie smiled all too happily.
"Are you even LISTENING to me? He is in shock, S-H-O-C-K, that knowledge could damage his entire psyche and leave him like a broken branch after a lightning storm."
"Hadji, my dad and you have GOT to stop hanging around with each other. One that made sense and TWO that was dumbed down so much it *could* make sense."
"Grrrrr." Hadji continued to growl a dangerous sound as he too had the pleasurable thought of throttling the brainless redhead.
Jonny leaned into his bed, soaking it with his wet set of second skin. He wrapped his arms around his legs; his head drooped into his forearms turning them into pillows.
'You are so worthless Jonathon Quest, look at those hideous scars, you know, they match your eyes so well, ugly as shit.'
He tried to get the familiar voice out of his head. 'Why does this bother me. what she thinks.' He shivered, '.Does she even think that.? .I keep pushing her away but she keeps talking to me. in my mind. in the house. damn it why won't she just shut up!' He flinched his eyes shut. He stood up angrily and threw his damp shirt into the hamper; it hit the lid, sliding into the collecting area leaving a trail of splatter, he snarled as he slid on another shirt.
As the shirt slid over his back the window flashed his reflection of his soft skin briefly, Jonny glanced back at it. The marks were all gone except for some slight scabbing that remained where the cuts had been deepest. He quickly turned his attention on the glass and his eyes became fixated with his likeness. Tears ran through his eyes as he fondled the icy image of him. His fingers slid down the glass longingly, he drew back his hand and slammed it into the glass hard, making a shattering sound travel throughout the house.
Glass shards stuck out of his knuckles and he groaned indignantly. Blood started seeping from the wounds yet all he could find himself doing, besides holding his wrist, was to stare at the blood in morbid fascination.
Jessie stood outside the window for the longest time, "Why does his window look so. livid, so bright?" She glanced at the almost stark white shimmer beside Jonny's window; slowly it dawning on her that it had been shattered.
Jonny's laugh crept out of the window and befell her ears. He started hyperventilating, he threw his bleeding arm across the walls; his eyes small yet open widely. He continued laughing almost maniacally.
Dr. Quest pounded on the door. "Jonny! Open the door!"
Jonny sat back down, swaying himself forth and back, touching his blood completely absorbed in the sight.
"OPEN THE DOOR!" Benton pounded on the door.
Hadji quickly came beside his father holding a hairpin as he began to break into the door. As he forced the door open he shouted a well placed, "Sim, Sim Salabim." He glanced around nervously, hoping to keep his father in the dark about the truth his magic tricks held. "Oh! Look, magically I opened the door. Clap damn you clap."
Hadji walked over to Jonny and slumped down beside him. Jonny, keeping his attention on the pretty red stains didn't acknowledge their presence until Dr. Quest started to pry Jonny's hand away from his chest and start removing glass.
Jonny glared at the man with a look of one thousand knives piercing his heart. He then turned away to look at the glass his father discarded haphazardly onto the floor. "Hadji, please take the gauze out."
"And the peroxide?"
"And the peroxide." He put Jonny's wrist into a firm grip so he would be unable to struggle out of the hold, "Pour some peroxide onto the cuts, please."
Hadji nodded and quickly did his duty, thankful that Jonny did not seem aware enough to scream. Dr. Quest brought up the gauze and wrapped Jonny's hand gently. He then took out the ace bandage, as he began to wrap the sensitive skin, Jonny came out of his repertoire and attempted to sink his teeth into Benton's arm.
Hadji, ever quick to his feet slid his hand against Jonny's forehead and pushed it upward, leaving Jonny's neck in competition for strength with Hadji's arm. Hadji's arm quickly won as the boy gave up his hunt for his prey.
"Hadji, can you ask Race to fix the window? Ask his to spray it with hairspray to cut down on its reflection, if you remember, alright?"
Hadji nodded. A slight voice in the back of his mind bickered to him, 'Since when did you become your brother's keeper?' Hadji quickly grew angry at the voice as his mind rationalized, 'And how often has he been mine? Of course he can be impetuous and pious but he IS my junior and I his senior. It is only right that his older brother be the one more mature than he, even if he thinks he is the more matured. which I do not think is the case as he is a complete puerile, I think he is just barely mature enough to realize he is grossly incompetent in the fields of most mature thought.' He nodded to himself and walked off to find Race.
Jessie glared at the reflection until the glass became walled off by a dim sheen and eventually fell flat. She walked inside the house and towards the near empty kitchen.
Shocked to find Jonny sitting at the kitchen, chewing an apple that he held very contemplatively in his bandaged hand, he drew the juicy Granny Apple to his mouth and bit into the green skin, small bits of liquid escaped the apple in a sprits that sprayed the table faintly and stuck to his cheek in one cute, yet annoying speck.
Jessie watched him for a moment, almost as fixated to he as he had been to the blood. She walked up to him, almost forgetting the place she had recently been assigned to by him, and wiped it off his face.
She smiled softly at the touch.
Jonny did not take the intrusion anywhere near as well. He glared at her with fierce venom and threw the apple down, "Why the fuck did you touch me you filthy bitch?! Now I'm going to have to scrub myself with lye!" He angrily walked towards the storage cabinet that stood two mere feet from the sink.
Jessie, realizing they actually had lye, dove at Jonny and pinned him to the ground, causing him to scream and begin to lash out kicks and throwing fists at the unwelcomed attack. "Get-off-of-me-get-off-of-me-get-off-of- me!" His scream bellowed as he lashed at her.
Quick to her strengths she was able to refrain him, "DAMN IT JONNY! Stop being so difficult!"
He grabbed for the cabinets, twisting to his side, but as Jonny had once learned, when Jessie wants someone pinned to the ground, particularly him, she could do it with far too much ease.
If he had been thinking clearly enough he might have damned Race for his diligent teachings of holds to his daughter and damn him for not teaching Jonny throws anywhere near as conclusively.
"Get-off-of-me-get-off-of-me-get-off-of-me-get-off-of-me-leave-me-alone-god- why-are-you-looking-at-me-what-did-I-do-wrong-what-did-I-do-to-you?!" His eyes welled with tears as he threw his arms in one last attempt at Jessie's throat and face.
The stray fists hit her, and astonished from Jonny's last strand of near- hyperventilating dialog, she was taken aback.
Using this opportunity to his full advantage, Jonny quickly slid out from under her and ran to his room crying, breathing shallow gasps. His face was a flush red and his cries came off as falsettos.
He winced his eyes closed as he slid into his room and Hadji stood there, diligently.
Jonny glanced at his elder, wondering why he was there and pondering what this meant.
"What is wrong?" Hadji's voice was smooth running and slow, almost hypnotic in his thick tongue and soothing speech.
"Get-out-get-out-get-out!" Jonny panted, pushing the boy towards the door. Hadji moved only an inch at first and then was halted.
He glanced at him once more, in a scrutinizing view. For the first time in a long while, he expressed a sentiment of pure anger, "Seriously Jonny can you just shut the fuck up for once, gather a THOUGHT in that thick little skull of yours, process it in that slower still brain of yours and say something with meaning?! Just ONCE! Now, I reiterate, what is wrong .with you.?" The last came off so snide Hadji was shocked he said it, and Jonny's reaction was no fraction of Hadji's disbelief.
Jonny's arms drooped to his side almost knocking him off balance, though that would be hard to tell, as he crumpled to the floor seconds later, sobbing hysterically, "Warum würden Sie das sagen?" (Why would you say that?) "Was habe ich gemacht? Sie... Sie hassen mich... gleich wie sie.. FICKEN SIE AUSSTEIGEN!" (What did I do? You. you hate me. just like her. FUCK YOU GET OUT!)
Hadji snarled he raised his hand almost ready to smack the boy. He glared at himself angrily and stormed out, 'What in the world is wrong with me?!' He took in several breaths to meditate, 'I knew this would happen. father is blinded about this; his naivety is hurting us all. Jonny belongs in a hospital.' The small voice that upset him picked up again, 'You could always put him there, and not just by volunteering him, I know you want to throw him down the steps, after all, you and I are all and the same.' This caused Hadji to snarl, 'NO! You and I are not the same, we are nothing ALIKE!' he was amazed that even in arguing with himself he didn't feel his grip to reality slipping at all, 'Oh really, why don't you go back there and ask HIM about that. I bet he'd say differently, what were you about to do? What did you plan on doing with your hand way in the air, high five him? No, I didn't think so, you and I ARE the same, the only difference is I have more conviction than you.'
"Saying I have done nothing and neither have you, I would say that is a fabrication." Hadji spat at himself, he glanced around immediately afterwards, hoping no one was in earshot.
Jonny rocked back and forth until his eyes finally snapped open, now dry, yet stained where the tears had been. He stood up quickly, the room slightly spinning; he wobbled with affirmation towards the bedroom door. He made his way towards the kitchen he tried to remember what he wanted to do there.
As he stepped into the kitchen, his eyes fell upon a half-eaten apple. He nodded to himself and picked up a new apple and began the process of devouring it, contemplating who would leave an apple there.
Jessie glared at him from the door, "Looking for something?" She added vehemently.
Jonny shook his head, "Nope, I have my apple, leave me alone." He continued to concentrate on his apple diligently, until his thought wondered onto one of his more recent dreams.
"Jessie. why do you hate me?" He asked in less a hurt voice, but more of a naïve, inquisitive voice.
"What? Why would I hate you?!" Jessie said, anger building.
"I know you do, you don't have to lie." She glared at him, "Is it because I was chosen to be an angel. and you weren't?"
Jessie rolled her eyes and tried counting to ten, 'He's not himself. this isn't him. he's not himself. Jonny's not this big an idiot. What am I saying, of course he is!'
"Is it because I mean more than you?"
Jessie growled a low, inaudible sound. 'Just keep pushing it Quest.'
"Because my purpose is so much-"
Jessie struck him across the face, "Listen asshole, I don't know WHO you think you are, because one, I KNOW it's not Jonny, even HIS stupidity holds SOME bounds. and two, your precious little destiny, that would have cost you YOUR life already cost Ezekiel Rage's life. Your savior or whatever you want to call that psycho cult leader is DEAD. D-E-A-D DEAD! An agent PRACTICALLY dismembered him, about as nice of a job he did to YOU so shut the hell up and leave me alone, because frankly, if MY destiny was to be mistreated and ripped apart like THAT I would not go advertising it as the better thing, understand? You are NOT a martyr, for one thing, MARTYRS DON'T SURVIVE. Not like the Jonny *I* cared about did. No, you know what, JONNY is a martyr, because you, you empty vessel, are nothing but an empty husk, a shell, dead. You house no light or soul you are an abomination so get away from me, do you hear me you void?"
He stumbled into the drawer; he turned and began shuffling through it. Jessie walked out of the room completely ignoring him, too angry to see straight, let alone think that way.
He fell hard onto his knees grasping a knife ever ready to continue with his thought. He pressed it into the soft skin. Just one slice, or twist and it will all stop.
He stared into the metallic reflection. As if by seeing his reflection he was forced to reflect on himself. His eyes welled with tears, which only added to his anger.
He started to whisper to himself, "You never used to cry like this. you are so weak it's disgusting."
As if his words alien, he found himself tempted to answer. "Liar, I used to cry like this before. this pain inside is not new, just the pain outside that is unique."
He dropped the knife and walked to the bathroom as if in search for more contemplation.
The door slid shut and for the first time in a month he was happy to have his eyes befall the mirror, though now it was only shards. He focused his eyes onto the shards, a broken image mending in his mind.
"...There is nothing wrong with this, with me. I did no wrong, and I am and always will be the boy in the mirror looking at me."
He touched the mirror lightly, almost neglecting the dangers of the glass to pricking his fingers. Two small droplets of blood escaped the tips of his fingers; he turned his hand upward to catch the blood. Again, his eyes focused onto the crimson juice.
"How much of this have I spilled to go around and clumsily do this to myself?" He touched his head as if a strong headache encroached.
"That's right. I remember. Far too much."
".and more blood was spilled in my name."
".what have I done? What have I allowed to BE done."
He quickly walked into his room and sat onto his floor trying to collect his thoughts, he felt vague yet sharp, like a scenery in a photograph, all the trees and leaves, glass, and snow blurred all into one, the only focus is one lonesome snowflake falling helplessly and yet precariously, telling the tale of an imminent woe and endless beauty.
He looked out of the window, as though the sky had plucked his thoughts and sent them into the clouds; the first droplets of rain began to trickle down the sky.
"Tears." Jonny thought with a light smile, tears echoing, tumbling precariously down his face as the rain fell to the earth, his tears hit the floor.
"No. I shouldn't be sad," the same thought of snowflakes falling around him came to mind, now more and more snow fell and became less and less focused, the world around him coming into fine tunes. "The snow isn't to blame for the blizzard, not on it's own, the wind and the cold and the skies and the ground all play part. I should not feel sad, while the others were buried in these emotions, as the avalanches consumed them, I was able to dig myself out, I fought to survive once and damn it, I DID survive. So why do I pity myself? For being who I have always been? No, I couldn't have saved them I didn't know of them. It was all a tactic to break me."
"Break me." He swore under his breath and his eyes became as clear as ever. "Never."
He sat up with new conviction and walked outside. "No longer will I be broken, no longer will I be weak. THIS IS WHO I AM AND I SHALL NOT FALTER!" He cried out to no one in particular. The cry boomed across the landscape yet fell silent to all that may have wondered what the noise was.
He raised his arms and walked through the rain, happy to be alive, because, if he didn't take joy in his life, how could anyone else? He had survived.
He HAD survived.
He was not and is not a void.
He is alive.
He is a survivor and surviving is what a survivor does.
~Fin~
Oh, don't worry my friends. the epic shall continue, just not in this ficcie, for you see. closure has been obtained. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!