James: Hey, what happened to Wormtail?
Sirius: Dunno.
Remus: Oy! You guys, over here! He left a note.
James: Where?
Remus: |
|
V
Hello all. This is Wormtail's note. I am here to tell you that Wormtail is at a very important meeting with Lord Voldemort and his death eaters. I am sorry to say that Wormtail is a death eater. He is planning all of your deaths and is also planning on starting a Severus Snape Fan Club, dubbing himself President, because he absolutely worships him. Voldemort is not too happy about this, and Wormtail is finding a way to come up with starting a Severus Snape and Lord Voldemort Fan Club without Ministry Officials running after him.
--Good luck with getting Legolas back to Middle Earth,
---Bob (the name of Peter's note)
James: W-wor-worship. S-sna-snape? After all we t-taught him?
Remus: Looks like it.
Sirius: I thought he worshipped us!
Harry spoke up for once, "I guess not."
Remus: So, is he alive, too?
Harry scowled, "Unfortunately."
James: Mommy! I miss you!
Sirius: Hey, what happened to the elf guy?
Remus: I told him I was a werewolf, and he ran off.
James: Ha!
Harry wasn't sure what was going on, or who Legolas was, and he didn't have time to wonder - for his Uncle's voice interrupted his thoughts.
"Who are you talking to, boy? I better not come in there to find any of YOUR kind standing in my house!"
"No, sir." Harry frowned. Did he just call Uncle Vernon 'sir'?
James: Who the bloody *ink smudge* was that?
Sirius: Would you stop smudging the ink, Prongs?
James: Sorry.
Harry sighed, wondering how he should explain this, "It's your future wife's, muggle sister's, extremely overweight future husband. He doesn't like me very much."
James: Oh.
Remus: If he doesn't like you, then why do you live at his house?
Harry considered how to answer this, and decided to only give them a quick summary. "Because Voldemort killed my father. er. Prongs. and my mother. er Lily - "
Lily: I have a son?
Sirius: What are you doing here?
Lily: Why shouldn't I be here?
Remus: Prongs, are you blushing?
James: Huh? What?
Peter: He IS blushing!
Sirius: I thought you had a meeting with the dark lord.
Peter: Oh, there was an intermission. I just came back to make sure nobody knew about my evil plans to betray you all.
James: Oh, ok.
Lily: Since when do meetings have intermissions?
Tom: Silence!
Sirius: Who's Tom?
Tom: Oops.
Voldemort: Silence!
Sirius: That's better. At least now we know who we're talking to.
James: Oh, Blimey! It's Voldemort!
Remus: I think we've cleared that up already, Prongs.
James: Lily, save yourself! You're not supposed to die until we're married and have a son - years from now.
Lily: Okay.
James: Love you!
Lily: Love you too!
Sirius: Awwwwww!
Remus: Oy, it IS Voldemort!
Ron: Bloody hell!
James: Huh?
Ron: Oh, sorry. Hiya Harry!
Harry stared numbly at the parchment, "Hi."
Voldemort: I have come to kill Harry, because I have run out of ideas for cruel and evil plans, so I decided to find him via this map. Mwahahahahahaha!
James: Sure, just try not to crumple the paper.
Voldemort: Okay.
Harry started to get panicked, "You're not going to save me, dad?"
Sirius: Did he just call you dad?
James: That's creepy.
Remus: Don't worry, Harry. The Dark Lord is now sealed forever in this map, so he can't hurt you, and now the world is free of evil.
Harry beamed and started jumping up and down. "Yay! Yay! I don't have to kill him! Yeah! Woooooooooo!"
"Take THAT, Trelawney!"
And the wizarding world lived happily ever after, and JK Rowling gasped and just stood there with her mouth wide open.
Meanwhile.
Voldemort: Ouch! Stop poking me!
James: Ha ha! This is fun! Poke him!
Sirius: Poke!
Voldemort: Ouch! This isn't funny!
Remus: Not so tough now that you don't have your wand, now are ya, Tommy Boy?
Voldemort: What did you call me?
James: What, you don't like being called Tommy Boy, Tommy Boy?
Sirius: Ha ha! Poke!
~~~~~~~~~~
THE END! WOOOOO!!! YEAH!
*sneezes*
Sirius: Dunno.
Remus: Oy! You guys, over here! He left a note.
James: Where?
Remus: |
|
V
Hello all. This is Wormtail's note. I am here to tell you that Wormtail is at a very important meeting with Lord Voldemort and his death eaters. I am sorry to say that Wormtail is a death eater. He is planning all of your deaths and is also planning on starting a Severus Snape Fan Club, dubbing himself President, because he absolutely worships him. Voldemort is not too happy about this, and Wormtail is finding a way to come up with starting a Severus Snape and Lord Voldemort Fan Club without Ministry Officials running after him.
--Good luck with getting Legolas back to Middle Earth,
---Bob (the name of Peter's note)
James: W-wor-worship. S-sna-snape? After all we t-taught him?
Remus: Looks like it.
Sirius: I thought he worshipped us!
Harry spoke up for once, "I guess not."
Remus: So, is he alive, too?
Harry scowled, "Unfortunately."
James: Mommy! I miss you!
Sirius: Hey, what happened to the elf guy?
Remus: I told him I was a werewolf, and he ran off.
James: Ha!
Harry wasn't sure what was going on, or who Legolas was, and he didn't have time to wonder - for his Uncle's voice interrupted his thoughts.
"Who are you talking to, boy? I better not come in there to find any of YOUR kind standing in my house!"
"No, sir." Harry frowned. Did he just call Uncle Vernon 'sir'?
James: Who the bloody *ink smudge* was that?
Sirius: Would you stop smudging the ink, Prongs?
James: Sorry.
Harry sighed, wondering how he should explain this, "It's your future wife's, muggle sister's, extremely overweight future husband. He doesn't like me very much."
James: Oh.
Remus: If he doesn't like you, then why do you live at his house?
Harry considered how to answer this, and decided to only give them a quick summary. "Because Voldemort killed my father. er. Prongs. and my mother. er Lily - "
Lily: I have a son?
Sirius: What are you doing here?
Lily: Why shouldn't I be here?
Remus: Prongs, are you blushing?
James: Huh? What?
Peter: He IS blushing!
Sirius: I thought you had a meeting with the dark lord.
Peter: Oh, there was an intermission. I just came back to make sure nobody knew about my evil plans to betray you all.
James: Oh, ok.
Lily: Since when do meetings have intermissions?
Tom: Silence!
Sirius: Who's Tom?
Tom: Oops.
Voldemort: Silence!
Sirius: That's better. At least now we know who we're talking to.
James: Oh, Blimey! It's Voldemort!
Remus: I think we've cleared that up already, Prongs.
James: Lily, save yourself! You're not supposed to die until we're married and have a son - years from now.
Lily: Okay.
James: Love you!
Lily: Love you too!
Sirius: Awwwwww!
Remus: Oy, it IS Voldemort!
Ron: Bloody hell!
James: Huh?
Ron: Oh, sorry. Hiya Harry!
Harry stared numbly at the parchment, "Hi."
Voldemort: I have come to kill Harry, because I have run out of ideas for cruel and evil plans, so I decided to find him via this map. Mwahahahahahaha!
James: Sure, just try not to crumple the paper.
Voldemort: Okay.
Harry started to get panicked, "You're not going to save me, dad?"
Sirius: Did he just call you dad?
James: That's creepy.
Remus: Don't worry, Harry. The Dark Lord is now sealed forever in this map, so he can't hurt you, and now the world is free of evil.
Harry beamed and started jumping up and down. "Yay! Yay! I don't have to kill him! Yeah! Woooooooooo!"
"Take THAT, Trelawney!"
And the wizarding world lived happily ever after, and JK Rowling gasped and just stood there with her mouth wide open.
Meanwhile.
Voldemort: Ouch! Stop poking me!
James: Ha ha! This is fun! Poke him!
Sirius: Poke!
Voldemort: Ouch! This isn't funny!
Remus: Not so tough now that you don't have your wand, now are ya, Tommy Boy?
Voldemort: What did you call me?
James: What, you don't like being called Tommy Boy, Tommy Boy?
Sirius: Ha ha! Poke!
~~~~~~~~~~
THE END! WOOOOO!!! YEAH!
*sneezes*