DAI GOSSHO: "SUKOSHI NO SHIZUKU"
The chimes rang again. It was time to go home.
Most of the school clubs are setting up for their day-to-day practice. They go on until 5, sometimes 6 o' clock. It's kind of stressful given that club activities add to their load in this fast-paced life, but they seem to derive indescribable enjoyment from it.
Excuse me for sounding so primitive, but I don't really know what it's like at all.
"Iina..." (I'm envious...)
I wasn't part of any club even way back in elementary. They read the name Kirishima Midori, and my application slip comes back to me faster than anything. Volleyball, Softball, Crafts, you name it.
Since that time, I gave up trying and instead became part of the "Just Go Home and Sleep" club, though not of my own choosing.
I wanted to join a real club. I wanted an excuse to come home late, but make something of myself in the process. Okay, now that reason may be a bit selfish, but come on... with my situation, I was looking into ways to stay away from there as best I can.
I wonder if Miyazawa in still in her classroom? I want to talk to her some more...
She seemed rather pleasant.
So off I went to the classroom next door, 1-B. She was there, surrounded by a few other girls. The desks were arranged close to each other. Apparently, they were trying to solve some complicated math problems.
Mathematics always gave the common student the chills. More so regarding the kind of math that Kawashima-Sensei was teaching.
He was rather infamous around here for being very strict, and he gives some ridiculously difficult problems during quizzes. If you don't do any sort of advanced studying beforehand, you will be so left behind... and dead too, grade-wise.
I called her attention, not caring about how the others would react.
"Miyazawa-san!"
They all looked up to me. Miyazawa was smiling towards this familiar face of mine, while the other girls around her were giving me dirty looks, as usual.
"Miyazawa-san..." one of the girls silently inquired. "...Do you... know her?"
"Why yes. She was that overly nervous girl I met this morning... Would you care to join us, Kirishima-san? We're doing some advanced practice computations on Trigonometry..."
Nervousness had set in again. Miyazawa was right. I am an overly nervous girl.
But can you blame me? I was never invited to join group study sessions before. I ALWAYS studied alone. I hesitated, but I gathered up enough guts to enter the classroom.
As I got closer and closer, the other girls were starting to fix their stuff. No surprise, I'm used to them doing that to stay away from me. One of them even made up an excuse.
"Uh, Miyazawa-san, let's finish this tomorrow... I just remembered that I was supposed to be the one to cook our dinner at home tonight."
"And I have to fetch my little brother too..." another girl retorted.
"Mata ne, Miyazawa-san..."
"Bye-bye..."
One by one, they left the room. I was standing there, looking at Miyazawa, who didn't budge an inch. The offer was still up, I suppose. I took a seat opposite her, and took out my book and some scratch paper.
I did not say anything, even when Miyazawa cast me an inquisitive gaze. I opened my book and started to read the formulas for the problems. I was having trouble with a particular scheme, and I thought that I could ask her for help. If this were to appear in the quiz later in the term, at least I would be able to get it by now.
But she just wouldn't let what happened slide just like that. Her quizzical look evolved into a prying, almost intrusive verbal query.
"I won't ask why, Kirishima-san, but... how do you put up with that kind of poor treatment?"
"I'm just used to it..."
"Do you want me to talk to them...?"
"I said I'm used to it... you don't have to bother..."
"How can you get used to being ostracized? That's inhuman!!"
"I JUST AM, DARN IT!! Now, are we going to study or are we just going to have some small talk about my miserable life!?"
I did it again. First it was Arima, now her.
Only this time, I didn't wait for Miyazawa to leave. I took the initiative.
"Gomen ne... I just can't take being put on the spot like that, Miyazawa-san... Please understand..."
That being said, I left her alone in the room. She was dumbfounded.
Walking away seemed like the easiest thing to do. People would never believe me even if I told the truth, because all of the ugly details were out in plain sight.
That was all they needed for a summary judgment. Not too much, not too little, but just right.
If I ever rationalized the real reason for my family's circumstances, they would dismiss it as nothing but a little fish grinding her teeth.
I'm such an idiot. The only other person who took notice of me also got a whiff of my fiery tongue. I meet people who don't care about my past and try to form a bond with me, and I push them away...
Why?
I blame my mom for being an idiot and repeating all of her mistakes, but I'm doing the same thing too... It must run in the family.
I gave it a whole lot of thought while on the train. I didn't even care that it was rush hour.
As expected, I could not make sense of it no matter how hard I tried. It was as irrational as anyone would expect.
Before long, I was home. And so was that stranger that I have to call my "stepdad". He was sitting on the floor with a queer smile on his face. Apparently, he had been smoking. Piles of cigarette butts were overflowing from the ashtray, and the mess lined the edge of the table.
His name was Morishita Yuusuke. A cop. I wouldn't call him an "honorable policeman" anytime soon. Not even if my life depended on it.
What did mom see in him, anyway?
I really wasn't expecting him to be home. Usually, he's almost always never around to tick me off. He was often on call during the wee hours of the night, but for some reason, he was still here, huffing and puffing sticks like there was no tomorrow...
The unbearable stench of burning tobacco, along with his weird-smelling cologne added to the sting of my already long-drawn disdain for this person.
"Ogaeri, Midori-chan... Come on and give daddy a hug."
"Urusai wa ne... spare me the faked parental affection. And for one thing, you're sure as hell not my dad, so leave me alone..."
"Now see here... don't talk to me that way, or I'll tell your mom that.."
"Huh! Be my guest!!! Now if you don't mind, I gotta go study... the air is too polluted around here, and it's not because of those cigarettes..."
I locked the door behind me in case he gets any ideas. I don't want to get beat up by a violent pervert. With his behavior and all of the rape cases I've been seeing on TV so far, it didn't hurt to be extra careful.
But I couldn't study. It was too quiet. So I just slept without any dinner. Who needs dinner anyway? I'm already getting too chubby.
Besides, with all that's happened so far, I wouldn't have been able to eat.
I bet Miyazawa is angry with me now.
I sure hope Arima isn't...
END OF CHAPTER 5
The chimes rang again. It was time to go home.
Most of the school clubs are setting up for their day-to-day practice. They go on until 5, sometimes 6 o' clock. It's kind of stressful given that club activities add to their load in this fast-paced life, but they seem to derive indescribable enjoyment from it.
Excuse me for sounding so primitive, but I don't really know what it's like at all.
"Iina..." (I'm envious...)
I wasn't part of any club even way back in elementary. They read the name Kirishima Midori, and my application slip comes back to me faster than anything. Volleyball, Softball, Crafts, you name it.
Since that time, I gave up trying and instead became part of the "Just Go Home and Sleep" club, though not of my own choosing.
I wanted to join a real club. I wanted an excuse to come home late, but make something of myself in the process. Okay, now that reason may be a bit selfish, but come on... with my situation, I was looking into ways to stay away from there as best I can.
I wonder if Miyazawa in still in her classroom? I want to talk to her some more...
She seemed rather pleasant.
So off I went to the classroom next door, 1-B. She was there, surrounded by a few other girls. The desks were arranged close to each other. Apparently, they were trying to solve some complicated math problems.
Mathematics always gave the common student the chills. More so regarding the kind of math that Kawashima-Sensei was teaching.
He was rather infamous around here for being very strict, and he gives some ridiculously difficult problems during quizzes. If you don't do any sort of advanced studying beforehand, you will be so left behind... and dead too, grade-wise.
I called her attention, not caring about how the others would react.
"Miyazawa-san!"
They all looked up to me. Miyazawa was smiling towards this familiar face of mine, while the other girls around her were giving me dirty looks, as usual.
"Miyazawa-san..." one of the girls silently inquired. "...Do you... know her?"
"Why yes. She was that overly nervous girl I met this morning... Would you care to join us, Kirishima-san? We're doing some advanced practice computations on Trigonometry..."
Nervousness had set in again. Miyazawa was right. I am an overly nervous girl.
But can you blame me? I was never invited to join group study sessions before. I ALWAYS studied alone. I hesitated, but I gathered up enough guts to enter the classroom.
As I got closer and closer, the other girls were starting to fix their stuff. No surprise, I'm used to them doing that to stay away from me. One of them even made up an excuse.
"Uh, Miyazawa-san, let's finish this tomorrow... I just remembered that I was supposed to be the one to cook our dinner at home tonight."
"And I have to fetch my little brother too..." another girl retorted.
"Mata ne, Miyazawa-san..."
"Bye-bye..."
One by one, they left the room. I was standing there, looking at Miyazawa, who didn't budge an inch. The offer was still up, I suppose. I took a seat opposite her, and took out my book and some scratch paper.
I did not say anything, even when Miyazawa cast me an inquisitive gaze. I opened my book and started to read the formulas for the problems. I was having trouble with a particular scheme, and I thought that I could ask her for help. If this were to appear in the quiz later in the term, at least I would be able to get it by now.
But she just wouldn't let what happened slide just like that. Her quizzical look evolved into a prying, almost intrusive verbal query.
"I won't ask why, Kirishima-san, but... how do you put up with that kind of poor treatment?"
"I'm just used to it..."
"Do you want me to talk to them...?"
"I said I'm used to it... you don't have to bother..."
"How can you get used to being ostracized? That's inhuman!!"
"I JUST AM, DARN IT!! Now, are we going to study or are we just going to have some small talk about my miserable life!?"
I did it again. First it was Arima, now her.
Only this time, I didn't wait for Miyazawa to leave. I took the initiative.
"Gomen ne... I just can't take being put on the spot like that, Miyazawa-san... Please understand..."
That being said, I left her alone in the room. She was dumbfounded.
Walking away seemed like the easiest thing to do. People would never believe me even if I told the truth, because all of the ugly details were out in plain sight.
That was all they needed for a summary judgment. Not too much, not too little, but just right.
If I ever rationalized the real reason for my family's circumstances, they would dismiss it as nothing but a little fish grinding her teeth.
I'm such an idiot. The only other person who took notice of me also got a whiff of my fiery tongue. I meet people who don't care about my past and try to form a bond with me, and I push them away...
Why?
I blame my mom for being an idiot and repeating all of her mistakes, but I'm doing the same thing too... It must run in the family.
I gave it a whole lot of thought while on the train. I didn't even care that it was rush hour.
As expected, I could not make sense of it no matter how hard I tried. It was as irrational as anyone would expect.
Before long, I was home. And so was that stranger that I have to call my "stepdad". He was sitting on the floor with a queer smile on his face. Apparently, he had been smoking. Piles of cigarette butts were overflowing from the ashtray, and the mess lined the edge of the table.
His name was Morishita Yuusuke. A cop. I wouldn't call him an "honorable policeman" anytime soon. Not even if my life depended on it.
What did mom see in him, anyway?
I really wasn't expecting him to be home. Usually, he's almost always never around to tick me off. He was often on call during the wee hours of the night, but for some reason, he was still here, huffing and puffing sticks like there was no tomorrow...
The unbearable stench of burning tobacco, along with his weird-smelling cologne added to the sting of my already long-drawn disdain for this person.
"Ogaeri, Midori-chan... Come on and give daddy a hug."
"Urusai wa ne... spare me the faked parental affection. And for one thing, you're sure as hell not my dad, so leave me alone..."
"Now see here... don't talk to me that way, or I'll tell your mom that.."
"Huh! Be my guest!!! Now if you don't mind, I gotta go study... the air is too polluted around here, and it's not because of those cigarettes..."
I locked the door behind me in case he gets any ideas. I don't want to get beat up by a violent pervert. With his behavior and all of the rape cases I've been seeing on TV so far, it didn't hurt to be extra careful.
But I couldn't study. It was too quiet. So I just slept without any dinner. Who needs dinner anyway? I'm already getting too chubby.
Besides, with all that's happened so far, I wouldn't have been able to eat.
I bet Miyazawa is angry with me now.
I sure hope Arima isn't...
END OF CHAPTER 5