"Hey Sparky." I don't know if it was the look on my face that stopped him in his tracks but whatever he was about to say died on his lips. He just quietly sat down beside me, witnessing me slowly lose control of my emotions. This crying has got to stop eventually right? I know I should feel embarrassed for him to see me like this but honestly I lost the ability to care. Plus as much as we'd both hate to admit it, we've formed a kind of relationship over our time together since Spokane. Plus I'm not the only one that seemed to be pushed aside with the restoration of Dimitri. When I'd finally calmed down enough to form a coherent thought, he tried again.

"Rose, I swear I had no idea what Lissa had planned, when she said ''we'' that wasn't me."

"I know Sparky." I gave him a watery half smile.

He held up the bag of food he was holding and a feeling of sickness came over me, the same feeling you get from skipping food for too long. It did smell good though.

"Thank you." We sat for a while and I was suddenly starting to feel the exhaustion from the last 48 hours take its intense hold on my brain.

"Christian, do you think Lissa would ever forgive me for leaving again?"

"Rose what are you talking about, where are you going?" He had a wary tone of voice as if one wrong word would make me run, and honestly he wasn't wrong.

"I need space, I feel like I'm being suffocated or judged for showing emotion. My whole life has been about Lissa and what she needs. I need time to feel good about it all again. You have to admit that both Lissa and Dimitri want me gone anyway."

"What about the rest of us, Adrian, Eddie, or me? We care about you too Rose."

"I know you don't understand it but I thought what Dimitri and I had was special, as crazy as that sounds. Before you say 'Rose he's your mentor and he's 7 years older,' I know."

"That's not what I was going to say." I can see that he meant it.

"Christian I did unthinkable things to chase after a fairy tale to bring back the man I thought was my whole future. I had this idea built up in my head of what our reunion would be like, I know, cheesy right? I imagined him running towards me and just the relief of finally being together again would get us through anything. Oh to be so naïve." I don't even think Christian knew what to say and I don't think there was anything he could say. He waited for me to continue.

"I think I could've handled most things, but this worshipping the ground Lissa walks on whilst I'm forgotten completely makes me sick to my stomach. No one will understand the depth of my feelings for him and I feel that I need time to get away to move on."

Christian must have suddenly found his voice because I suddenly heard him speak. "Wow Rose."

"Yep." I popped the p, trying to be braver than I was.

I don't know whether it was the lack of sleep or food but my body was letting itself known. I opened up the bag Christian had brought me and took a bite of the chocolaty goodness. Probably not the best thing to eat after not eating for the last 48 hours but I guess it's better than nothing, a doughnut it is. My stomach gurgled in protest but I was beyond hungry at this point.

"I truly am sorry Rose." I laid my head on his shoulder, he didn't pull away from it so I figured we were good. A couple more minutes passed and I felt Christian suddenly stiffen. Okay… odd much, we were within the wards and my radar wasn't going off, so it's not Strigoi. As I followed his line of sight I wish I hadn't because the object of my heartbreak was standing in the close distance, with his supposed saviour right beside him. They hadn't seen us yet but it was just a matter of time.

Speaking too soon I felt Dimitri's eyes upon us, forever the guardian as his eyes scanned his surroundings. He stiffened as his eyes fell on us as a hit of confusion took presence on his face. He looked away suddenly and I don't know if that hurt even more, he even finds the sight of me repulsive, thanks Dimitri. It was then that I felt surprise come from the bond, followed by jealousy. Eww, come on Lissa, are you kidding me? I can't handle their judgement anymore, I suddenly felt like a caged animal and got up to leave. I need to sleep this feeling of sickness off, my mind is too foggy to think. Christian also stood up to walk with me, when suddenly I lost all control of my limbs, unable to stop myself from the darkness that consumed me. I saw Dimitri and Lissa turn around to the sounds of someone yelling my name, yeah act concerned now. What was happening again? Why can't I move?

The last thing I heard before I lost consciousness was the panicked screams of Christian.

"Rose!"