Disclaimer: Teen wolf does not belong to me in any way, shape or form forever sad about that, but excited for the upcoming teen wolf movie. Even though it's not out till January – wahhhhh, lol, but you can bet I will be writing Kayla and Stiles in the movie haha. Thanks for the continued support and a massive shoutout to guest, guest, xnathiagrey and mcdx025 for the reviews, it means so much, hope you enjoy this chapter
If it wasn't obvious by now, they clearly had zero self-control when it came to spending any time alone together whatsoever.
Deep down, she knew it would end like this because, well, it always did.
No matter what, they always seemed to be drawn back to one another. An invisible piece of string forever linking them, not letting any real distance separate them. She felt it, deep in her very soul. That pull to him, constantly. No matter how hard she tried to fight it. Fate, somehow, always bringing them back together.
She tried to catch her breath as she stood from the sofa, silently redressing herself as she kept her back turned but felt his gaze boring holes into her back, an awkward silence filling the room.
She loved every moment of being with him – every single second felt like she was being reborn, her heart full of innocence and the kind of simple easy love she craved. No one else connected – bonded – with her in such a way. No one else treated her so preciously. No one else made the weight of the world free itself from her shoulders.
… But she was supposed to feel that weight.
Since coming back, she was burdened with the weight of knowing too much. Her heart heavy with trauma after trauma, still trying to adjust to this new past life she was thrust into, that sickening guilt never leaving her.
But that was the price, right? The price of coming back, of getting a second chance?
She had the power to change things – she couldn't afford to keep getting distracted like this, no matter how tempting it was.
She pulled up her cargo pants, fastening them around her hips and slipped on her cropped, long sleeved white top that clung tightly to her body and heard Stiles shift behind her but she didn't dare turn around, not knowing what to say to him so took some time to sort her wild hair, flattening it a little by running her fingers through the choppy strands.
Eventually though he cleared his throat, trying to get her attention as he shimmied his own pants up that were tangled around his ankles, reaching out for his discarded tee.
"Uh… sorry" he mumbled awkwardly, sounding so incredibly apologetic as she turned around, watching him trying to put his tee on the right way, struggling the more nervous he got, "I promised I would keep my hands to myself and I didn't. I'm sorry"
"It's alright" she shrugged, "I mean… it's you, and me, alone. Of course that was gonna happen"
He exhaled out a half laugh, finally sorting his tee out and pulling it over his head, running a hand through his messy hair, sweat beads swelling along his hair line.
"So you… you don't regret it?"
"No" she denied, shaking her head as that was the only thing she knew for certain in this crazy and unpredictable time, "I never regret being with you"
He breathed a sigh of relief, both falling into a semi uncomfortable silence as they stood opposite one another, not knowing exactly what to say – or do – next. The 'limbo' stage they were in, making things awkward and uncertain. They were friends, best friends, who were not only in love with each other, but also now not together but had just slept together.
Complicated was putting it lightly.
She racked her brain, trying to think of something – anything – to say, maybe something light-hearted to break the growing tension but the more pressure she put on herself to force words, the more her mind went blank and she ended up just standing there, resembling more of someone standing at a funeral than someone who just got laid.
In her distraction, Stiles had caught sight of something on the floor and had picked it up, staring at her curiously before lifting up the small clear bag of herbs Deaton had given her, Mullein if she remembered correctly, and frowned at her.
"Uh… what's this?"
"Not weed" she joked light-heartedly, snatching the little bag back that must've fallen out of her pocket, "it's uh… it's a long story…"
"I got time" he insisted, frowning at her in concern.
"It's um… it's… it's for protection" she shrugged, "… from the dead"
"The dead?"
"Yeah. Consequence of my resurrection, I suppose" she gestured out in confusion, "guess I'm vibrating on another frequency or whatever"
"You see dead people?" he asked, completely alarmed, a harsh look of worry etched into his features, "wh-when did this start?"
"Before" she replied calmly, "in the other time. It was a mix between my hallucinations and… the consequences of coming back to life, I guess. But it's started again which Deaton thinks is because of the fact I was dead and how, because I was on the other side for a while, it means I have a connection to it"
"Is this dangerous?"
"No. It's just seeing things. They can't reach over" she reassured, "but these herbs are meant to help"
He was staring at her in worry, seeming a little disapointed she hadn't told him any of this before now, usually always sharing her secrets and concerns with him, but before he was able to voice this, the front door hastily opened and in walked Sheriff Stilinski balancing two large pizza boxes on one arm.
"Hey kids" he greeted cheerily, oblivious to the tension he had just walked in on - and how, just five minutes ago, they were going at it like rabbits on his sofa - "new car Kayla?"
"Uh... yeah. Needed some wheels"
"Well, I'm glad you're here" he said, sending her a soft smile, "will you stay for dinner? There's plenty pizza"
"Oh, um..." she was caught off guard, not expecting that invitation, "I would but-"
"Oh c'mon" the sheriff said lightheartedly, "I got pepperoni. That's your favourite, right?"
His enthusiasm and warmth was enough to make her melt, finding it hard to turn down that offer, especially when he genuinely seemed pleased to have her back in his house, thankful she was fine after the night before.
She caught Stiles looking at her from the corner of her eye, his gaze borderline begging and pleading with her to stay a little longer and, for some reason, both Stilinski's were able to play on her soft spot as she gave up protesting and caved in, shrugging at them.
"Sure" she smiled softly, "why not?!"
"Great" Sheriff Stilinski grinned, his eyes grazing past her to settle on his son, "Stiles, set the dining table"
Stiles nodded eagerly, seeming relieved she decided to stay and went to follow his dad into the kitchen but she nudged him as he walked past, noticing his jeans not done up properly.
"Fly"
Her prompt confused him for a couple seconds, his brows knitting together and she couldn't help but snicker to herself, reaching out herself to zip his jeans up properly.
"A two year old can dress themselves better than you" she joked lightheartedly, putting the awkward tension behind them as he flared a gentle pink, coughing to clear the tightness in his throat.
"Says you" he mumbled with a teasing smirk, pulling a black lacy thong from his pocket, "you forgot to put these back on"
"My bad" she chuckled, making no move to take back the underwear and after a few seconds he seemed to get the hint and flushed a little redder, putting the material back in his pocket with a boyish grin before bounding haphazardly to the kitchen.
She followed, albeit a little slower than Stiles, and was welcomed by the sight of the Stilinskis in their quaint yellow kitchen, the Sheriff placing the two pizza boxes in the middle of the old rickety wooden table and Stiles grabbing three clean plates from the wash rack and setting them on the placemats on the table.
It was such a normal sight to most people - a small family setting a table - but to her it symbolised something so pure, so wholesome, it made her stop and soak in the sight.
She had never been a part of a 'normal' family so to speak.
Well... when her dad and brother were alive, back in Louisiana, they appeared like a normal family, enjoying breakfasts and movie nights, but it wasn't. Not really. Not like this was. And then since moving to Beacon Hills, between her mom's callousness and abondonment and Derek's inability to just live somewhere normal... family dinners weren't really high up on the list of priorities.
She hovered over the threshold, not wanting to disturb the moment, watching the father and son move around the kitchen but her staring was broken by the Sheriff glancing over to her and pulling out a seat.
"You coming to sit down kid?"
She shook herself from her staring, stepping into the kitchen and taking a seat between the Sheriff and Stiles, the latter sharing a slight hesitant look with her before glancing away.
The sheriff, as observant as always, picked up on this, his keen stare flicking between the two of them as they both reached for some pizza.
"So..." the Sheriff murmured, reaching for his own slice, "did you two manage to talk?"
"Talk?" Stiles spluttered out around a mouthful of pizza, 'psping' loudly at the heat that burned his tongue, "ta-ah, hot, hot, hot"
He quickly swallowed the chunk of unchewed pizza, fanning his mouth before looking at his dad awkwardly.
"What uh... what do you mean 'talk'?"
The sheriff, unfazed by Stiles' reaction and hyper awkwardness, simply cocked a brow.
"About last night" he continued, "about the... situation..."
Stiles gulped thickly, looking like he was trying to swallow an uncomfortable piece of Lego as he nodded, a small sweat breaking out across his forehead.
"Yeah... yeah we... we uh, talked" he muttered, and she simply let him dig himself into a whole as she sat back and took a bite of pizza, "we talked. So much talking. Twice. I mean-"
He flushed a tomato red, his eyes bugging from his sockets as he realised there was no way out of this hole and simply groaned, dropping his head and raising the slice of pizza back to his lips.
A daunting sign of realisation crossed the Sheriff's face, a look of 'I shouldn't have bothered asking' flashing through his eyes.
"Nevermind" the Sheriff sighed, "it's definitely none of my business"
"Wha-? It's not... that's not..." Stiles stuttered, "I just meant-"
"We're getting there" Kayla interrupted, finally taking pity and deciding to save Stiles from his runaway mouth, "there's still a lot of stuff to sort out"
"Understandable" the Sheriff smiled, "I just want you to know you've always got a place here Kayla, regardless"
"... Thank you" she pushed back the tears, determined not to cry, "that means a lot"
"Anytime kiddo" he said, "and I know I don't really get this supernatural mumbo jumbo crap-" he waved his hand out, "-but the fact you're sitting at my kitchen table right now is still... a little disorientating"
She chuckled, ignoring Stiles' wide eyed look at his dad regarding the fact he's bringing up that she had been dead - again. But she didn't mind. It wasn't some subject she was going to skirt around for the rest of her life. It was a part of her. A part of her history. It happened. She wasn't going to pretend it didn't.
"Yeah, I can see why" she acknowledged, "it seems impossible"
The Sheriff chuckled, "these past few months, there's lots of things that I've once thought impossible that turned out to be entirely possible"
She nodded along, completely understanding where he was coming from. Even for her, having grown up in the supernatural, it still seemed unbelievable.
The Sheriff looked as if he was wanting to ask more but he thinned his lips, biting back whatever words was going to leave his mouth but she simply shrugged, reaching for another slice of pizza.
"What else do you want to know?"
He glanced up, raising his eyebrows in surprise at her question but, after flitting his stare between her and Stiles, he simply sighed, clasping his hands together on the table and leaning forward.
"I know I said I didn't want to know but... how?" he asked incredulously, "just how?"
"Dad-"
"It's okay" she cut off Stiles, sending him a reassuring look, "I don't mind talking about it. Uh... I guess it was an ancient spell. Invoking Osiris. The Egyptian god of death and resurrection" she added at his confused look, "I don't know the ins and outs because, well, I was dead during this part but-" she snorted, trying to inject a little humour into the conversation, "-it was a heavy spell. They needed the heart of a grim reaper... the blood of a virgin... more stuff I don't even wanna know about and, I guess, 5 to 7 business days later... I came back"
The poor Sheriff seemed flabbergasted and overwhelmed, his ageing face creased with confusion and worry as he stared at her like she was going to suddenly revert back to her two month old decaying corpse.
"... Grim reaper...?"
"Yeah" she frowned, "I'm still confused about that one too. I didn't see any reaper when I died. Just me... moving between astral planes"
The Sheriff pushed his pizza on the plate away, blowing out a long, exhausted breath as his eyes glazed over, trying to put all the pieces into place and make them fit.
"And... and you still remember that other time...?"
"Sort of" she replied, "it was really fresh at the start, but things are starting to fade. Now hell? That I remember" she chuckled, "but everything after that? It's like... it's like a dream, y'know? When you wake up, you remember it clear as day, but then the details start to fade. That's what's happening"
"You wrote some stuff down though, right?" Stiles interjected, "like Deaton suggested?"
"Yeah" she nodded, "but it's not everything. There's massive gaps and it doesn't really make a lot of sense, combined with the fact I was drinking and taking god knows what at the time, doesn't exactly make my recollections reliable"
"So you need to be able to remember to try and stop those other supernatural... things" the Sheriff deduced, not quite up to scratch on the terminology, "and stop this 'deadpool'?"
"Pretty much"
The sheriff sat back in the wooden chair, running a hand down his face as he pondered over what she said, the gears in his brain turning.
"But haven't you done something similar already?" he asked, frowning between them, "when the nogitsune had taken you over-" sending a pointed look towards Stiles, "-Scott got inside your head-" nodding to Kayla, "-because you could get inside the nogitsune's head, right? I mean... that was the jist of it?"
Suddenly, a jolt of realisation shot up her spine, her very own puzzle pieces falling into place.
How could she be so stupid? So dense?
Of course.
Alpha werewolves could, not only manipulate memories, but access them too. Ethan got in her head years ago and erased Mia. Talia erased Malia from Peter's memories. The twins got into Isaac's head when he found out about the vault and even manipulated new memories into his head. On the flip side, Peter had shared memories with Scott regarding the Hale house fire when he was a psycho Alpha and, like the Sheriff correctly said, Scott used his claws to get into her head that was inside the nogitsune's... how the hell didn't she think of this before?
"Oh my god" she muttered in realisation, "oh my god... you're a genius" she exclaimed, "that's it"
The Sheriff seemed a little alarmed by her exclamation, his stare flitting in confusion between her and Stiles as he pointed at himself.
"Me?"
"How didn't I think of this before?!" she rambled, quickly standing up from the table, "Scott's an Alpha. He can get inside my head. He can help bring those memories back"
"Okay, whoa, slow down" Stiles interrupted, standing up with her, his eyes full of concern, "it's extremely dangerous. There would be claws in the back of your neck. You know, right where your spinal cord is" he exclaimed, not looking at all pleased, "it's too risky"
She had this sudden burst of energy, her found confidence and determination running through her veins, not taking in a word Stiles had just said.
"The answer was right there all along" she continued, the words tumbling from her lips at a hundred miles an hour, "what an idiot I am. It was so simple"
"Kaylz-"
"This is how I piece everything together" she ranted, pulling her phone from her pocket and scrolling to find Scott's name, "this is how I remember"
"Kaylz, slow down" Stiles insisted, trying to talk some sense into her, "you can't go rushing into this-"
She clicked on Scott's name, holding the phone to her ear and waited impatiently for it to ring a couple of times and, not even having the patience to wait for him to greet her, she delved into her rambles as Stiles just looked at her as if to say 'really? The audacity?'.
"Scott, I've figured it out. I know how to remember" she reeled off, barely stopping for breath, "it's you. You're the key to this. You can get in my head"
There was a brief pause on the other end of the line which, to her right now, felt like hours, each millisecond getting painfully dragged out.
"Uh... what do you mean?"
"Your claws Scott. You can make me remember"
"Oh... isn't that dangero-"
"Get Deaton" she interrupted, "meet me at the animal clinic. Please?" she added in a softer tone, "something needs to be done and I... I don't know what else to do. I can't let anymore people die"
There was another brief pause followed by a sigh, Scott taking a few seconds to ponder it.
"Okay" he settled on saying, "I'll meet you at the animal clinic. We can discuss it there"
She thanked him, quickly hanging up and turned to the Sheriff to thank him for the pizza but before she could dart out the door, Stiles grabbed her arm, bringing her back down to earth with a bang.
"Slow down" he insisted, his eyes a swirl of worry, "take a breath. This is dangerous Kayla. Really dangerous. One slip and you could be dead"
"He's done it to me before and we managed to save you"
"Not the point" he whispered, "what if... what if you remember stuff that hurts you?"
"I have to do something!"
"Not this" he shook his head, "there's other ways"
"Before more people die?"
"I'm not losing you again. I won't"
"I trust Scott" she insisted, "and I trust my judgement. I need to remember... and I'll do anything to do that"
She went to leave again, more determined than ever to use her second chance and Stiles just scrambled after her, leaving the poor Sheriff sitting there in complete and utter confusion, having not a scooby what had just went down in the past two minutes.
Stiles followed her out to her car, hot on her heels like a chapping little chihuahua, trying to talk some sense into her but she was having none of it. She had so much on her conscience... so much guilt and pain that she would do anything to fix it. No matter what the cost.
She unlocked her car, jumping in, and Stiles clearly realised he was getting no where because he conceded and got into the passenger side before she could drive off.
"Have you been listening to a word I've said?"
"No" she shrugged, putting the car in reverse and skidding from the drive, "because I know this is what I have to do"
His face was tense, his lips a thin line as he sighed heavily but, as soon as she spun the car hastily around the corner as she exited the driveway, he quickly buckled up, briefly forgetting how erratic her driving was.
"Your brain is trying to protect you from those memories" he pointed out, "exactly like what Deaton said"
"Protecting me doesn't save all those people"
"Kayla-"
"Stiles" she interrupted, her hands tightening around the wheel as she broke multiple speed limits, determined to follow the first proper lead she had since coming back, "please... trust me. Trust that I have faith in this"
He was speechless for a few seconds, his impulsivity wanting to blurt out everything wrong with this plan but, when he looked into her eyes, he simply felt like he couldn't.
"I... I don't want anything to happen to you"
"It won't" she said confidently, turning a corner sharply and nearly bonking Stiles' head off the passenger side window, "I've been through worse. I'll take whatever consequences there are because I need to save these people. I need to stop the other encantados and, without my memories, things will just end up like last time"
She could tell he wasn't happy about it but, deep down, he knew he didn't have a choice. Once Kayla set her mind on things, she was stubborn enough to go through with it and not much would change her mind.
"You're so ridiculously stubborn, you know that?" he muttered, trying to sound annoyed but she could sense there was a slight playfulness in her tone, if not a little exasperation.
"I know" she smirked, "but you wouldn't have me any other way"
She felt his eyes trained on the side of her face, watching her closely as she drove.
"You're right about that" he whispered, so quietly she almost missed it but, by the time she took her eyes off the road and glanced around, he was back to looking at the road.
"I uh... I enjoyed earlier" she said quietly, searching for something to say - anything - to break up the silence, "even though it wasn't really supposed to happen..."
He snorted, relaxing a little bit more in his seat.
"Seems to be our catchphrase lately"
"Yeah" she chuckled, "tell me about it"
"You know, uh... regardless of what happens... between us..." he murmured, his hands wringing together, "... you're still always gonna have me, I just want you to know that"
"I... I know" she whispered, "and I'm thankful for that"
They stayed quiet for the rest of the short journey to the animal clinic, arriving at the same time Scott did, parking next to his motorcycle.
"Hey" Scott greeted, pulling off his helmet and balancing it on the handlebars of his bike, "that was quick"
"Yeah, we don't have any time to spare" Kayla said, "thanks for coming"
"Of course, anytime. But I still don't really understand what-"
She took Scott's arm, guiding him into the animal clinic and just knew the two boys were shooting each other confused and wondering looks behind her back but she didn't care - she was hell bent on her new found mission.
They walked through to the examination room to find Deaton already waiting for them, an inquisitive look plastered on his face.
"Dare I ask what trouble you've all gotten yourself into now?" the veterinarian asked, a slight smile playing on his lips.
"Believe it or not, no trouble" she spoke up, "just... needing some advice"
He cocked a brow, glancing between each of their faces.
"Regarding...?"
"One of the most idiotic ideas ever" Stiles exclaimed, crossing his arms as she just rolled her eyes.
"Not an idiotic idea. It's a clever idea" she insisted, "one I should've thought of before"
Deaton appeared confused, raising a brow, urging her to go on.
"My memories... of that other time... they keep fading" she said, "every day I remember less, and if I remember less I can't change things so..." she shrugged, "what if Scott goes into my memories and helps me remember?"
Deaton frowned, suddenly tensing a little like he wished she had said anything else but that.
"I don't think that's a good idea"
"See?" Stiles exclaimed, "I told you so"
She ignored him, disapointed her brilliant idea that she knew, deep down, was going to shift things in their favour, was getting outvoted.
"What? Why?" she asked, "I need to remember"
Deaton sighed heavily, shaking his head.
"You aren't supposed to have vivid memories from two different set of timelines. They can't co exist in your brain safely. There's a reason they're fading and that's to protect you"
"It doesn't matter about me" she insisted, "I need to change things"
"Bringing back those memories could cause psychosis... dissociation... trauma..." Deaton continued, "there's a reason I didn't suggest it when you told me about your memories. Instead, I recommended writing it down on pen and paper. It's safer that way"
"I don't need safe" she said, "I've never been safe. What I need is to remember..."
Everyone was silent, unsure quite what to say but realising just how stubborn and determined she was.
"If you don't help me, I'll just find someone else that can" she shrugged, "maybe Peter-"
"Okay, whoa" Stiles exclaimed, "that's an even worse idea. Have you lost your mind?"
She looked at Scott, imploring to his good side - the side that was willing to do anything to save somebody.
"I'm going to do it, regardless" she said, "because I was taken back to now for a reason, and I believe it's to change things. And I can only do that if I know what exactly needs to be changed. If you don't want to help, I get it, I understand. It won't be pleasant for you either... seeing everything that happened... but I would rather have someone I trusted inside my head. Someone like you"
The more she spoke, the more Scott seemed to come round, understanding why she was ready and willing to take the risk she did.
"You can't actually be listening to this, right?" Stiles asked Scott, "Scott, it's dangerous. There's always another way. A plan B. A plan C. Hell, a plan fricking Z if need be"
Poor Scott, torn between the two, as Deaton just peered on, watching the situation unfold carefully.
"I have faith" she said, "I accept the consequences"
"Oh come on" Stiles groaned, "this is ridiculous. I can't believe we're all even entertaining this idea"
"I trust you Scott" she smiled, "and I want you to trust me too. This is the right thing to do. I know if you were in my position, you'd be begging me to do the same"
All fell quiet, waiting anxiously for Scott to either agree or disagree, Stiles nervously biting the curve of his nail.
"... Okay" Scott sighed, much to Stiles' horror, "I'll do it" he nodded, jittering a little in nervousness, "I'll go inside your head"
A/N) yayyy sorry it took a while, been struggling with concentration but I'm soooo excited for this. Scott going inside her head and seeing everything... ooooohhhh, and also new revelations will come to light too lol so kinda a filler chapter but it's important, so I hope you all enjoyed and please please review and I shall see you all soon :)
Oh, and check out my prequel fic 'before you', will explain so much about Kayla's life sides beacon hills and her relationship with Aiden.
Also, head on over to my tumblr - fanficanatic-tw, as I have edits and sneak peeks and videos (including a sad one about Stiles' first day back to school since Kayla's death) haha