Finally it was the sound of moaning that made Kate able to shake of the nightmarish feeling and act. Slowly she turned the body around – Snape's she reminded herself, the real one, not that of a man she had dreamed about before. His face was white and his breathing shallow, he seemed to be unconscious as he didn't react to her low voice calling him by his name.
For a minute Kate pondered what she should do next. Get help, obviously, but she didn't want to leave him alone in the Great Hall. She couldn't carry him to the infirmary, though. She looked around to find something or someone, that might help. The same moment she heard footsteps approaching and the next second Mme Pomfrey was standing next to her, a concerned look on her face.
"I don't know, what's happened to him." Kate stammered. The mediwitch just nodded and bowed over her patient, using her wand to check over him.
"Mobilicorpus" she then uttered. Snape's body floated up in front of her outstretched wand and she started moving him towards the staircase. Kate made to follow them, but she was held back by another voice.
"A word with you, Miss Mehan, if you don't mind." Professor Dumbledore seemingly had appeared out of nothing and now was standing behind her. Kate turned around to face him. In contrast to Mme Pomfrey he didn't look concerned at all, just calm.
"Do you know, what happened ?" she asked him, as she followed him to his office. "Do you?" was the answer – not very satisfying, Kate thought.
"I haven't got a clue." she said, no inside the headmaster's office.
"Then, why did you find him in the Great Hall ?" Dumbledore asked her.
"I don't know. I was just walking through the hall and there he was. I mean, I didn't expect to find him here." Just walking – running for it would have been a more apropiate way of putting it.
"In the middle of the night ?" Dumbledore, too, seemed to find her explanation unsatisfactory.
"I was – I couldn't sleep." You could sleep. Something woke you up and made you leave your room. Why don't you tell him ? But then, why doesn't he tell me, what's going on here ?
"Please, professor", Kate said "I feel there are many things I should know. For once, what has happened to professor Snape ?"
"This is something I'm hardly able to tell you, Miss Mehan. You might ask him about it, but I don't thing it is necessary to concern yourself with professor Snape's doings, as there still is a lot for you to cover about your own situation." He looked at her gravely.
"I'm afraid, I'm rather concerned about the fact, we haven't yet been able to uncover the mystery of why you have discovered your magic abilities so late in life." he sighed. "How do you get along with your new wand?"
Kate was surprised at that sudden change of topic. "Fairly well, but, as Mr Olivander has pointed out to me, this was to be expected, wasn't it ? I mean, if this wand has chosen me ?"
"It has, it has, there's no doubt about that. It's just that your wand was not expected to ever chose a wizard or a witch at all. It was considered an orphan."
"It was what ?" Kate asked, not sure, if she had heard right.
"An orphan, a wand that will never find its wizard." Dumbledore explained. "I'm sure that Mr Olivander pointed out to you, that the wand finds the wizard he belongs to. That means, that for every wizard there has to be a wand in first place. Wand-makers don't fabricate them out of their own whims, they just know that a certain wand has to be made. Some wands are made in vain, though, because the wizards they are meant to be for, will never retrieve them, either because they died before, or because they lost their magic. In these cases the wand seems devoid of magic, as well. You see, the wizard and the wand share the same magic – if the human magic is lost, so is that of the wand. It's not much more than a wooden stick. As it is forbidden to destroy another wizards wand, though, even if he will never make use of it, these wands are just stored away. And yours was one of these."
Kate pondered the explanations she had just got. "But it makes sense, doesn't it ? I have lived all these years without magic, so my wand wouldn't show any of it either."
"That only brings us back to the problem of your magic abilities. It is just not possible to receive magic. You are born with it. It can only be suppressed."
"But you can lose it ?" Kate insisted.
Dumbledore looked into her eyes. She was overwhelmed by the thought, that she was looking right at wisdom itself. "You might want to read up on this question." he said after a long moment. "After you have had a bit of sleep for what is left of this night, of course."
Kate nodded slowly, knowing he wouldn't tell her any more. So it was the library again.
"Thank you, headmaster." she said. "I will do that." She left through the door, that opened before her, before she could touch it.
When the door had closed behind her again, Dumbledore turned to the pictures of his predecessors. "She is bright." he said. The old men and women nodded in agreement. "She is insistent." Another nod. "She will find out the reason for all this, eventually. Which is good. But will she then do what we need her to ?" "We cannot act, before we know." answered a stern man dressed in bright green robes. Dumbledore nodded. "We will watch then, and act, when it's time."
Kate slowly walked back towards her chambers, her mind in turmoil. Catch up some sleep, then go to the library and find out more about it. I haven't spent so much time in a library since working on my PhD, and surly never about what is supposed to be my own life. I used to know, who I was, didn't I ? Well, sort of, at least. I could go to the library right away. It might be closed now. Sleep first.
"I'm not tired." Kate jumped at her own voice, that sounded unnaturally loud in the empty hallways. It was true, she didn't feel tired at all. Instead she felt that she had forgotten something. Snape ! My god, Dumbledore has definitely managed to divert me. There was no way she would go back to peaceful slumber without knowing, what had happened to him. She thought about what she had heard in the Great Hall at breakfast and all she had read about later. Had he been caught by Death Eaters ? Or – was he one himself ? Not very likely, working in this school then. Yet, he was sinister enough. She would find out, but most of all she wanted to know how bad he was.
She looked around herself, trying to make out the best way to the infirmary. "Excuse me, please" she addressed the next picture, hoping the shepherds in it wouldn't mind too much being woken up. "Could you please tell me, how I get to the infirmary the quickest from here?" "Up those stairs and then it's on the end of the hallway." the voice of the painted potion master said behind her.
"Thank you" Kate answered, then looked at him with a frown. His portrait was hanging at least three floors down from here. But there he was, impatiently looking at her from another painting. The little girl in it, probably its usual occupant, made sure to keep her distance from him, but she, too, nodded.
"Yes, the infirmary, good girl." came from the shepherd's painting.
Severus was trying out how much he could swear without his headache becoming unbearable. So it had failed again. Fortified with the best of potions, having prepared and practiced the strongest spell, he had only managed to get himself knocked out for good this time. And been found by the woman. He had a feeling, that Dumbledore would not be too happy about this, but Merlin's sake, the old man didn't have a solution either. His wise proverbs wouldn't help them when the hard times where there, and Severus knew they were coming. They were literally burning in his left forearm, the pain getting worse by the day. If they didn't find out in time …
He tried to concentrate on his problem. From the beginning. The first time I realized I can't get out of the castle's grounds was the night of the TriWizard Tournament. "If you are ready … If you are prepared …" He surely had been, even though his stomach cramped at the thought of what was expecting him, once he got back to Voldemort. He hadn't bothered to go back to his chambers, just wanting to get it over with. The nearest place from which he could apparate was a few yards into the Forbidden Forest. He had first tried there, but to no avail. Nothing happened, apart from the burning in his arm getting stronger – angrier.
He had tried again and again, each time from a different spot, deeper into the forest, with the same result. Impossible !
Voldemort was calling him, the mark left no doubt about that. But he couldn't get there. Cursing he finally ran back to the castle, making for the broom-shed. He couldn't be sure where Voldemort was now, but he could at least try out Riddle's Manor. He grabbed the next broom and swang himself onto it. It shot straight up into the dark night, this time southwards. He only hoped, he would still find somebody there – and be able to explain away his tardiness. The next second the broom softly landed – on the Quidditch Pitch.
He hadn't been able to follow the summons that night, nor any other. He could go to Hogsmeade to buy supplies, he could get into the forest if he needed plants for his potions, even London and Diagon Alley was no problem, if he had business there, but there was no way he would be able to leave the castle's grounds to follow a summons. Paths would take unexpected turns and leave him at the front gate again, the trees in the forest shifted, so at whatever he oriented himself, this would lead him right back.
Dumbledore hadn't reprimanded him when he had come back that night, shocked himself by what he had to tell the headmaster. But Severus was sure, that he was disappointed, and had sworn to himself that he would find a way to solve this riddle. Now he was again where he had started.
Damn, he didn't even know who was responsible for this. It didn't make sense for Voldemort to call him and at the same time prevent him from following the calls. Dumbledore wanted him to go, as any information he could get was desperately needed for any plans to fight Voldemort, now that he was back. Severus had the suspicion, that his spying was about all of a plan that existed.
They had checked for any ministery-wards put up, even though Fudge's reaction after he had listened to Harry had made it obvious, that he refused to believe in the imminent danger. So why would he have apparition barriers and other wards put up – and charm brooms, paths and trees as well. Besides despite all their efforts they hadn't been able to detect any additional magic at all.
Some other Death Eater, maybe, afraid Severus might spill about their so-called loyalty and thus cost them their newly-found place in the Dark Lord's ranks. Hardly. The Dark Lord didn't listen to him more than to anybody else, which meant not much at all. And now, having refused the summons for over two months, the slight chance of him being accepted again, that had existed that first night, was gone completely. Besides, keeping it up – whatever it was – probably needed an enormous amount of magic and power, which was impossible for one person or even a whole group to keep up such a long time.
Tonight he had tried to attack it with the strongest spells he had found out about. Hurling them over and over, he had used all his force to get forward through the forest, step by step, but try as he might, his steps had been diverted, the landscape around him shifted to change his direction. Finally, when he was so exhausted that his breath came in short gasps, there had been a sound, like of someone inhaling deeply, then he had felt a whirl of wood and stones around him. And woken up in the infirmary after being discovered in the Entrance Hall.
Severus let out a defeated sigh.
There was a knock on the door, barely audible. He tensed. A second knock, not louder than the first. Who could that …
Kate carefully pushed open the door to the infirmary and slipped in. It was still dark outside and the only light in the room came from a candle next to a bed. "Snape ?" she whispered.
"What do you want ?" he snarled back.
Kate felt relieved. That sounded like her teacher, not like the broken figure in the hall.
"I'm sorry." she said. "I couldn't go back to sleep without knowing how you were."
"Now you know. Go." Snape hissed at her. He was touched by her unexpected sympathy – as he had been by her trust at the receeding cliff. But he couldn't talk to her now and answer her thousand questions, that would definitely come. He was preoccupied, he had a headache, his mark pained him and he was exhausted. He was lying in a bed, hardly a position in which he felt up to facing anybody, let alone her. So he resorted to his unfailing means of getting rid of an unwanted presence.
Almost unfailing. Kate sat down on a chair next to him. "No, I don't know. How are you ?"
"You do not honestly believe I'm going to tell you what happened at this hour, Miss Mehan. If you do, believe me, I won't."
"I didn't ask you what happened. I came to see how you are." Her voice was calm, ignoring his display of fury. She has had some practice. Severus thought.
"It's nothing bad, just a headache. I'll be up again tomorrow morning." he finally told her, hoping against hope, that she would leave.
Kate nodded. "I'm glad to hear that, I feared for you when I found you unconscious on the floor."
"Yes, well, thank you for your help." Severus answered curtly. Would she leave now ?
"Miss Mehan," he started when he saw that she didn't move to get up, "I had a hard night and …"
"Did you know that the castle moves ?" she interrupted him.
Snape watched her in disbelief. What did she want now ? "Of course, I knew, it always has, and now …"
"Tonight I tried to run away. I haven't told the headmaster about this –" she gave him a short look "-I wanted to escape from here, but the castle didn't let me reach the door." She took a breath. Severus wanted to intervene, but Kate continued, as if anticipating what he was going to say. "It wasn't that I had got lost. I could see the Entrance Hall, I could even see the door, but hard as I tried, I just couldn't get there. It's the castle – it doesn't let me out."
There was a long silence. God, if now he sends me away again, I'll leave, and I won't know what to do and who to turn to.
"Why did you want to run away ?" Severus asked her after what seemed like an eternity. His voice was unexpectedly soft. His face, once more, betrayed nothing.
Kate sighed. "I was scared. After last night I finally understood that all this is real and that I somehow belong into this magic world. At first I loved the idea, but then I heard about the Death Eater attack. I went to the library only to find out, that I am – or soon am going to be - in the middle of something like a war. I wanted to talk to you about it, but something was wrong with you, too. Then, tonight, somebody woke me up by knocking at my door. And nobody was there, when I opened it. Then the castle started to move. I was scared shitless and I ran. And found you."
"You tried to run away, but the castle didn't let you ?" Kate was sure, she could discern disbelief in his voice, and probably disdain. She had behaved like a child.
"I know, it was childish to run. Everything I have done so far, since you brought me here, either I refuse to take things serious or I run. I can't go on like this." She didn't know why, but the thought that he had no respect for her suddenly made her feel bad. Not that she expected an encouraging answer from him.
"And now you have decided to grow up in one night ?" The reply was as Snape as it could get. Well, that comes from opening your heart to the master of quality sarcasm, Kate thought. What did you expect ?
"I have grown up over the last thirty years, Professor Snape. You don't know me." Kate stood up, making for the door.
"Miss Mehan." She stopped and turned around. The candle was burnt down. The first twilight that filtered through the curtains hardly let her discern his face. "You said, you haven't told the headmaster about this ?" Kate shook her head. "No, I haven't.". "Then, please, don't talk to anybody about it." Kate slowly nodded. His angry "Will you ?" reminded her, that he probably couldn't see her. "Alright. Will you …?" "Thank you for coming, Miss Mehan. I'll see you at the usual time for your lesson." His tone left no doubt that their conversation was over.
She finally made it back to her chambers. At the stairways down to the dungeons she paused and turned to the painting to which the potion master had returned in the meantime, and from which he now threw here one more of his stern looks. Kate felt, that she definitely had enough of dealing patiently with foul-mooded potion masters tonight. "You wouldn't by chance enlighten me, why the castle insists on keeping me here ?" she snarled at him. "And if it is an integral part of your profession to scowl at people ? Let me tell you something" she stepped closer. "I will find out about this. Why I am here, why I can't leave. Why there are people roaming about killing others and nobody seems to be doing anything. And what is behind Professor Snape. And you won't hinder me, nor will anybody else." This said she turned and walked into her room, slamming the door behind her.
"Find out, young lady, find out." the portrait whispered. "And when you have, be strong."
Severus was still staring at the ceiling, when the sunlight finally put an end to the long night. The castle doesn't let me go. And he had never thought that this could be the answer. I haven't told anybody. Then, why tell me of all people ? You don't know me. No, he didn't. Not at all.