Disclaimer: Hi. It'sa me again. Don't tell KoolAid or I'll get the bloody
pulp beaten outta me for being in his house again. I don't own AC or the x-
files music. I hate saying I don't own them cuz I wish I did. Then I'd be
the claimer instead of the disclaimer. THAT'LL CHANGE!!! YOU WILL SEE!!!
ALL OF YOU WILL SEEE!!!!!!!!
Dear book thing that I tell stuff to,
After making friends with talking acting like weirdo people animals I had to learn what do you do exactly to earn money around this place. I had no money uhh, bells. Whatever. So I couldn't buy anything. Soon I found out. This means another flashback. `Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, and do `(x-files music plays)
*FLASHBACK* Morning
KoolAid: Yyaaaawwwnn!! (Stretches) Ow! That felt good. I don't wanna get up. This sofa is comfortable. I need make bells somehow. I wonder what there's to eat in this place. (Mins later goes outside) (Outside)
Louie: GOOOOD MOOORRNIIING, FOO!
KoolAid: Ahhh! Man! It's too early for loud noises.
Louie: Really? Its 9 am, foo.
KoolAid: Yeah, whatever.
Louie: You like saying whatever a lot, foo. I just realized it.
KoolAid: What are you doing here?
Louie: Since your new and all. I thought I'd teach you what to do around here.
*LATER*
KoolAid: So I just shake a tree and something falls down?
Louie: No, only sometimes. And trees that have fruit on em is where fruits fall but only if there are fruits on em first, foo.
KoolAid: What fruits are there here?
Louie: Only oranges for now.
KoolAid: Orange juice!!
Louie: Oooookaaaayyyyy. Now you try shaking a tree, foo.
KoolAid: Ok.
Walks to tree. Shakes
KoolAid: Yeah. Shake dance! Do the shake dance!!
Thud
KoolAid: I heard something fall.
Louie: Go check what it is, foo.
KoolAid: Yeah! 100 bells! Cool!
Louie: phhphph
KoolAid: What's so funny?
Louie: Sorry man. But that's not even enough to buy a flower seed, foo.
KoolAid: Crud! Well then I'll shake some more trees.
Begins to run to every tree and shake
Louie: Hey! I FORGOT TO TELL ABOUT THE!!! Oh, well. He'll find out, foo.
*KoolAid*
Shakes tree
KoolAid: Woo hoo! More bells!
5 trees later. Nest falls
KoolAid: Hm. What's this? A rock? Full of holes?
All of a sudden million of bees swarm out of the supposed 'rock'
KoolAid: AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*LATER*
Biskit: KoolAid, dawg?
KoolAids face is all stung up
KoolAid: Yeah. Whatever. Leave me alone.
Louie: I tried to warn you, foo.
KoolAid: Riiiiiight.
Biskit: It looks like their was a bee party on your face.
KoolAid: Nah. Really?
Buzzing sound is heard from the direction where KoolAid came from
KoolAid: YAGH!! ME HAS GOTTA RUN!!!!!!!!
KoolAid runs homeward
Louie: Hu?
Biskit and Louie turn around to find bees headin their way like crazy
*KoolAid/At home*
KoolAid looks out the window as Biskit and Louie buzz on by
Both: AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Bbbbbzzzzzzzzzz
KoolAid: Tried to warn me my butt. Take that. Ha! Ok. I've got 700 bells. That should be enough for something.
*STORE*
Nook: Welcome. May I help you?
KoolAid: Yeah. Go jump off a bridge.
Nook: Besides that?
KoolAid: What can I buy for 700 bells?
Nook: A fishing rod. You could catch some fish and sell them to me.
KoolAid: Ok. I'll take it.
Nook takes all the bells
KoolAid: Hey! It says on the tag that it's only 500 bells!!
Nook: Yes. But you said to sell you for 700.
KoolAid: Rrrr!!!
*LATER*By stream
KoolAid: A fish? A shadow!!
Cast hook straight at shadow
KoolAid: Yeah!! I hooked it!!
Reels in
KoolAid: Hey! Oops. That's not the fish's mouth. That looks painful. Oh well. Lucky thing I'm not the fish.
Takes fish off hook. Puts in pocket
KoolAid: Aghh. Now my pocket is all wet!!!
Crunch
KoolAid: AHH!!! It bit my thy!!!
*LATER*
KoolAid: I hope I don't get rabies.
Sees other shadow
KoolAid: Ok. Now I'll do it right. So that's its head and that's it butt. No wait. The other way around. Ah. I don't know. They're all butt ugly.
Casts hook. Ching
KoolAid: Hu? AAHHH!! I hooked my butt!! AAHHH!!
Buzzing sound approaches. Biskit and Louie head nearby with bees still chasing them
Both: AHHH!!!! Bbbbzzzzzzzz
KoolAid jumps in steam. Biskit and Louie buzz by
KoolAid: That was close. Didn't I just jump on a fish?
Crunch
KoolAid: AAAAHHHHHHAAAHAAAAHHHHAAAA!!!!!!!! LET GO OFF MY!!!!!! AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
*LATER*
After I pried the hook out of my butt and took the fish off what it though was a worm I headed home to take a shower cuz I smelled of fish and junk. Talking about junk I ran into Boris before I got home
Boris: Why are you limping, junk?
KoolAid: None of your business.
If he'd gotten bit by a fish so would he
Boris: Why are you all wet, junk?
KoolAid: The same.
Boris: The same what, junk?
KoolAid walks away
Boris: That the type of attitude I like, junk!!
KoolAid runs into daisy also
Daisy: Hi. What happen to you, `Bug, bug, bug, bug, bug`?
KoolAid: Just leave me alone.
Daisy: Ok. Then. What's up, `Bug, bug, bug, bug, bug`?
KoolAid: Fish hook.
Daisy: (clueless look)
KoolAid: I'm trying to earn bells to pay off my loan. Do you have any suggestions besides fishing and shaking trees?
Daisy: Bug hunting, `Bug, bug, bug, bug, bug`!!
KoolAid: That works the same way as the fish? I just sell them to Nook?
Daisy nods
KoolAid: Bug hunting, huh? Well. Ok. But I haven't got a net.
Daisy: Here. I have lots. I love bugs!! They're so buggy, `Bug, bug, bug, bug, bug`!!!!
KoolAid: Yeah. Ok.
*LATER*
KoolAid: Hey. A dragonfly.
Moves toward it. Dragonfly keeps buzzing around
KoolAid: Ah. Stop moving you! Crud! Its fast and I can't run!
Stupid fish remember?
KoolAid: Ah. Ah. Oww. Ahahha. Aha! Caught you! I caught a red dragonfly! I wonder if it breathes fire.
Foom!
KoolAid: AHHH! It does! AHHH!
Foom!
KoolAid: AHHH!
Jumps in nearest body of water because my shorts caught fire
KoolAid: Ahh.
Silence. Crunch
KoolAid: AHHHH!!
*LATER*
KoolAid: Candy! Its got ants on it. I should think first. Can a small pile of ants hurt me? No.
Catches ants
KoolAid: I caught and ant or ants. My uncle will be so happy.
Puts in pocket
KoolAid: Ahh! What the?! Hey that tickles!
Daisy comes by
Daisy: Hey, KoolAid. How's the bug hunting going, `Bug, bug, bug, bug, bug`?
KoolAid: Ants in my pants!
Daisy: Cool, ants in my pants. Bye.
Leaves
KoolAid: Ahh!
Pinch, pinch, pinch
KoolAid: I didn't know black ants bit!!
Runs to nearest water and jumps in (Guess who?) Crunch. Yup. That fish again.
KoolAid:AAHHHHHH!!!!
I hate that fish. It seems to be following me
*LATER AGAIN*
Bea: You should dig up fossils, waffle.
KoolAid: Fossils?
Bea: Yeah. Then you mail them to the faraway museum and they mail them back as bones. You could sell them or put them in our museum, waffle.
KoolAid: Who's Blathers?
Bea: He works at the museum. And sometimes you could dig up gyroids that play music, waffle.
*MUSEUM*
KoolAid: Ahem!
Blathers: Zzzzzzzz
KoolAid: Hello there!!
Blathers: Zzzzzzzz
KoolAid: Wake up you crappy colored owl!!!
Blathers: Zzzzzzzz
*BACK*
KoolAid: He didn't wake up.
Bea: Did you even dig up a fossil first, waffle?
KoolAid: (pauses) No.
Bea: Here. A shovel. Learn to use it, waffle.
Bea leaves
KoolAid: Ok. Digging. I don't see anything wrong there. But then again I didn't see anything wrong with the ants. Oh well. (Digs) Hm. Nothing.
*HOUR LATER*
KoolAid: AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I've dug a millions holes and no fossils!!
Kitty comes by
Kitty: Oh my, mreaow. What are all these holes?
KoolAid: I'm looking for fossils.
Kitty: Well then your supposed to dig up the star shaped holes, mreaow.
KoolAid: Huh?
Kitty: This, mreaow. (Points at star shaped hole in ground)
Kitty: Go ahead. Dig here, mreaow.
KoolAid: Ok. (Digs) Hey, I found a fossil!!
Kitty: Woo hoo, whatever, mreaow. (Kitty leaves)
*MUSEUM*
KoolAid: Hello?
Blathers: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
KoolAid: WAKE UP!!
Blathers: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
KoolAid: Crud!!
Throws fossil at Blathers
Blathers: Oh (pause) (snort) Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
KoolAid: Rrrrrrr.
*LATER*
Leigh: I know of a good way to get rid of frustration, cutie.
KoolAid: How?
Leigh: Chop down some trees. Take a good whack at them, cutie. Pretend their someone you hate like Kitty.
KoolAid: Hu?
Leigh: uh (pause) Here, cutie. (Gives KoolAid axe) Go have fun, cutie. Remember, someone you hate helps.
*THERE IS A LOT OF LATERS. SO LATER*
(Chopping)
KoolAid: Take that Nook and Rover and (Tree falls) TIMBER! (Thud) AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! WHERED THE TREE GO??!! It disappeared! Cool. (Shrugs) (Continues to chop) (Thud) Hu? (Legions of bees show up) AAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! (Runs to nearest stream, water, whatever) (Bess buzz by) Ok. Good. They're gone. Oh, wait. What about that fi-- (Crunch) AAAHHHHHH!!!!!
*LATER*
Boris spots KoolAid walking by the stream all soaked
Boris: Hey, KoolAid, junk! What happened to you again?
KoolAid: Everything.
Boris: Oh, too bad. Hey, look. That fish is following you.
KoolAid: I know.
Boris: Why, junk?
KoolAid: Because its eviiilll.
Boris: So wha'd you call it, junk?
KoolAid: Hm. Ball Cruncher.
Boris: Cool, junk. Why?
KoolAid: You'll find out someday.
Boris: Why are you still limping, junk? It looks worst than before.
KoolAid: Later.
Walks away
Boris: Cool, junk.
*NIGHT* Home
KoolAid: I'm so tired. I hurt all over. Its hard earning freaking bells around here.
Turns light off. Biskit and Louie still running away from bees. Swoosh by house
Both: AAHHHH!!! Bzzzz.
KoolAid: I'll never get any sleep at this rate. (Lays on sofa) So I'll just zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
*MORNING*
KoolAid: Zzzzzz
Knock on door. Knock knock). Boris, Talking to himself
Boris: Who's there? Pig. Pig who? Pig junk, junk. Ha ha ha!
KoolAid opens door
KoolAid: What? What do you want?
Boris: Dude its morning, junk! You should be making the most of it.
KoolAid: It's 7 AM!!
Boris: So? The early bird gets the worm, junk.
KoolAid: But I'm not a bird! I hate worms! And you're not a bird either!!
Boris: Ok. Let's go.
KoolAid: Weren't you just listening?!!
Boris: Yup and nope sope lets gope, junk.
*LATER*
Boris: Ok. I will teach you how to do thins correctly, junk. Now where'd you leave off?
KoolAid: This isn't going to work.
Boris: WHERE?!!
KoolAid: Everything.
Boris: Junk?
KoolAid: I started everything but never finished.
*BEACH*
Boris: Ok, we'll start with fishing, junk.
KoolAid: NNOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Boris: Shut up!!
Shuts up
Boris: Now take out your fishing rod and follow my lead, junk.
KoolAid: You go first.
Boris: Ok then, junk.
Finds fish and casts reel. Catches fish and reels in
Boris: See, junk? That easy.
KoolAid: How'd you do that? Ok. My turn.
Finds fish and casts line
KoolAid: Hey. What the? It's stuck.
Ching
Boris: AAHHHHH!!!!!! MY BUTT!!!!!!!
Buzzing and yelling noise head their way. Louie and Biskit again. Boris jumps in ocean while KoolAid climbs nearest tree. Buzzing and yelling pass.
KoolAid: My new hang out.
Boris: Funny, junk. (silence) (Crunch) AAAHHHHH!!!!!! Something bit my BUTT!!!!!!!
KoolAid: That's not fair. It wasn't supposed to bite you there. I guess it wanted rump.
Boris: AAHHHHH!!!
*LATER*
Boris: Diggin, junk.
KoolAid: Hm. Ok. Nothing wrong happen there.
Boris: Dig here, junk.
Digs
KoolAid: Yeah!! I found! Cat poop?
Boris: Egh. Moving on, junk.
*LATER*
Boris: Bug huntin, junk.
KoolAid: NNOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Boris: Stop that! They're only bugs, junk. Look and dragonfly.
KoolAid: Boris uhhhh
Boris: Shh. I almost got it, junk.
KoolAid: Ok. (Backs away slowly)
Boris: Aha! See?! Eaasssyyy, junk!!
KoolAid: Not till it breathes fire it isn't.
Boris: Dragonfly's don't breathe fire, junk.
KoolAid: Red ones do.
Boris: No they don't. And besides, this one is blue, junk.
Ping
KoolAid: AAHHHHHH!!!!! It breathes ice!!!!
Both: AHHHH!!!!!!
Both jump in water. Ping, ping, ping. Dragonfly leaves
KoolAid: (stutters) The, the, the, water, rr, rr, is freazing.
Boris: Ice cubes, junk.
Crunch
KoolAid: AAAHHHHHHh!!!!!!!!!
Boris: Aha ha! That's why you named that fish-
KoolAid: Shut up!!
*LATER*
KoolAid: Now what?
Boris: Now what?!! Riiight, junk. You got some bad voodoo or something! Stay away from me!!
KoolAid: But what do I do?
Boris running away
Boris: TRY SELLING FRUIT, JUNK!!
KoolAid: Fruit? You mean oranges?!!
Boris: YEAH!!
KoolAid: No way. Stupid trees have bees. But then, I just climbed a tree. Ah. No way.
*LATER*
KoolAid: What should I do?
Copper: Lend a hand.
KoolAid: That's sounds painful.
Copper: No. Be good citizen. Help someone.
KoolAid: But I don't want to.
Copper: You get rewarded.
KoolAid: Rewarded? (Pause) ok!
*LATER*
KoolAid: Ok. Who should I help?
Walks by streams. Sees fish following again
KoolAid: You!! What do you want besides me?!! (Of course no reply) Yeah. I thought so. Ha! You're so pathetic. All you can do is swim, eat, and poop. (Sounds familiar) Well? Quit following me! I like walking by the water. Bug off, err, swim away.
Picks up rock and throws at fish. Plonk
KoolAid: Ha! Ha! Ha! Direct hit! Hey. Why isn't it coming back up?
Leans over water. Bubbles rise. Fish comes up with rock on mouth
KoolAid: Oh crap.
Spits. Plonk
KoolAid: Owww!!! AAAHHHHHH!!!!
Splash. Crunch
KoolAid: AAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!
*LATER*
KoolAid: I'm gonna need surgery if that keeps happening. (Goes inside home) Tank. A fish tank. Aha! There! (Snag) Oww! Cr*p! Stupid fish. (Chomp, chomp, chomp) (Splash) There. Now you are my slave for ever!!!
*FLASHBACK OVER*
Yup. I still have B.C. After that I helped people. At first it didn't go so well. I still wonder whose underwear that belong to. That's another story. I have to feed B.C. He's getting mad. Its odd. One day I might have forgotten to feed him and he ended up waking me up in the middle of the night. That was scary and painful. Still it was a long time ago.
-----KoolAid
KoolAid: Here B.C. (Jumps out of tank) (Crunch)
AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH----------------!!!!!!!!!-------
Disclaimer: I hope this one was funny enough for you. Sorta sick too. Hmm. Oh well. If you thought it was sick tell me or tell me if you liked it. Review!! REVIEW!! OR YOU'LL HAVE TO DEAL WITH B.C.!!!!!!!!!
Dear book thing that I tell stuff to,
After making friends with talking acting like weirdo people animals I had to learn what do you do exactly to earn money around this place. I had no money uhh, bells. Whatever. So I couldn't buy anything. Soon I found out. This means another flashback. `Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, and do `(x-files music plays)
*FLASHBACK* Morning
KoolAid: Yyaaaawwwnn!! (Stretches) Ow! That felt good. I don't wanna get up. This sofa is comfortable. I need make bells somehow. I wonder what there's to eat in this place. (Mins later goes outside) (Outside)
Louie: GOOOOD MOOORRNIIING, FOO!
KoolAid: Ahhh! Man! It's too early for loud noises.
Louie: Really? Its 9 am, foo.
KoolAid: Yeah, whatever.
Louie: You like saying whatever a lot, foo. I just realized it.
KoolAid: What are you doing here?
Louie: Since your new and all. I thought I'd teach you what to do around here.
*LATER*
KoolAid: So I just shake a tree and something falls down?
Louie: No, only sometimes. And trees that have fruit on em is where fruits fall but only if there are fruits on em first, foo.
KoolAid: What fruits are there here?
Louie: Only oranges for now.
KoolAid: Orange juice!!
Louie: Oooookaaaayyyyy. Now you try shaking a tree, foo.
KoolAid: Ok.
Walks to tree. Shakes
KoolAid: Yeah. Shake dance! Do the shake dance!!
Thud
KoolAid: I heard something fall.
Louie: Go check what it is, foo.
KoolAid: Yeah! 100 bells! Cool!
Louie: phhphph
KoolAid: What's so funny?
Louie: Sorry man. But that's not even enough to buy a flower seed, foo.
KoolAid: Crud! Well then I'll shake some more trees.
Begins to run to every tree and shake
Louie: Hey! I FORGOT TO TELL ABOUT THE!!! Oh, well. He'll find out, foo.
*KoolAid*
Shakes tree
KoolAid: Woo hoo! More bells!
5 trees later. Nest falls
KoolAid: Hm. What's this? A rock? Full of holes?
All of a sudden million of bees swarm out of the supposed 'rock'
KoolAid: AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*LATER*
Biskit: KoolAid, dawg?
KoolAids face is all stung up
KoolAid: Yeah. Whatever. Leave me alone.
Louie: I tried to warn you, foo.
KoolAid: Riiiiiight.
Biskit: It looks like their was a bee party on your face.
KoolAid: Nah. Really?
Buzzing sound is heard from the direction where KoolAid came from
KoolAid: YAGH!! ME HAS GOTTA RUN!!!!!!!!
KoolAid runs homeward
Louie: Hu?
Biskit and Louie turn around to find bees headin their way like crazy
*KoolAid/At home*
KoolAid looks out the window as Biskit and Louie buzz on by
Both: AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Bbbbbzzzzzzzzzz
KoolAid: Tried to warn me my butt. Take that. Ha! Ok. I've got 700 bells. That should be enough for something.
*STORE*
Nook: Welcome. May I help you?
KoolAid: Yeah. Go jump off a bridge.
Nook: Besides that?
KoolAid: What can I buy for 700 bells?
Nook: A fishing rod. You could catch some fish and sell them to me.
KoolAid: Ok. I'll take it.
Nook takes all the bells
KoolAid: Hey! It says on the tag that it's only 500 bells!!
Nook: Yes. But you said to sell you for 700.
KoolAid: Rrrr!!!
*LATER*By stream
KoolAid: A fish? A shadow!!
Cast hook straight at shadow
KoolAid: Yeah!! I hooked it!!
Reels in
KoolAid: Hey! Oops. That's not the fish's mouth. That looks painful. Oh well. Lucky thing I'm not the fish.
Takes fish off hook. Puts in pocket
KoolAid: Aghh. Now my pocket is all wet!!!
Crunch
KoolAid: AHH!!! It bit my thy!!!
*LATER*
KoolAid: I hope I don't get rabies.
Sees other shadow
KoolAid: Ok. Now I'll do it right. So that's its head and that's it butt. No wait. The other way around. Ah. I don't know. They're all butt ugly.
Casts hook. Ching
KoolAid: Hu? AAHHH!! I hooked my butt!! AAHHH!!
Buzzing sound approaches. Biskit and Louie head nearby with bees still chasing them
Both: AHHH!!!! Bbbbzzzzzzzz
KoolAid jumps in steam. Biskit and Louie buzz by
KoolAid: That was close. Didn't I just jump on a fish?
Crunch
KoolAid: AAAAHHHHHHAAAHAAAAHHHHAAAA!!!!!!!! LET GO OFF MY!!!!!! AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
*LATER*
After I pried the hook out of my butt and took the fish off what it though was a worm I headed home to take a shower cuz I smelled of fish and junk. Talking about junk I ran into Boris before I got home
Boris: Why are you limping, junk?
KoolAid: None of your business.
If he'd gotten bit by a fish so would he
Boris: Why are you all wet, junk?
KoolAid: The same.
Boris: The same what, junk?
KoolAid walks away
Boris: That the type of attitude I like, junk!!
KoolAid runs into daisy also
Daisy: Hi. What happen to you, `Bug, bug, bug, bug, bug`?
KoolAid: Just leave me alone.
Daisy: Ok. Then. What's up, `Bug, bug, bug, bug, bug`?
KoolAid: Fish hook.
Daisy: (clueless look)
KoolAid: I'm trying to earn bells to pay off my loan. Do you have any suggestions besides fishing and shaking trees?
Daisy: Bug hunting, `Bug, bug, bug, bug, bug`!!
KoolAid: That works the same way as the fish? I just sell them to Nook?
Daisy nods
KoolAid: Bug hunting, huh? Well. Ok. But I haven't got a net.
Daisy: Here. I have lots. I love bugs!! They're so buggy, `Bug, bug, bug, bug, bug`!!!!
KoolAid: Yeah. Ok.
*LATER*
KoolAid: Hey. A dragonfly.
Moves toward it. Dragonfly keeps buzzing around
KoolAid: Ah. Stop moving you! Crud! Its fast and I can't run!
Stupid fish remember?
KoolAid: Ah. Ah. Oww. Ahahha. Aha! Caught you! I caught a red dragonfly! I wonder if it breathes fire.
Foom!
KoolAid: AHHH! It does! AHHH!
Foom!
KoolAid: AHHH!
Jumps in nearest body of water because my shorts caught fire
KoolAid: Ahh.
Silence. Crunch
KoolAid: AHHHH!!
*LATER*
KoolAid: Candy! Its got ants on it. I should think first. Can a small pile of ants hurt me? No.
Catches ants
KoolAid: I caught and ant or ants. My uncle will be so happy.
Puts in pocket
KoolAid: Ahh! What the?! Hey that tickles!
Daisy comes by
Daisy: Hey, KoolAid. How's the bug hunting going, `Bug, bug, bug, bug, bug`?
KoolAid: Ants in my pants!
Daisy: Cool, ants in my pants. Bye.
Leaves
KoolAid: Ahh!
Pinch, pinch, pinch
KoolAid: I didn't know black ants bit!!
Runs to nearest water and jumps in (Guess who?) Crunch. Yup. That fish again.
KoolAid:AAHHHHHH!!!!
I hate that fish. It seems to be following me
*LATER AGAIN*
Bea: You should dig up fossils, waffle.
KoolAid: Fossils?
Bea: Yeah. Then you mail them to the faraway museum and they mail them back as bones. You could sell them or put them in our museum, waffle.
KoolAid: Who's Blathers?
Bea: He works at the museum. And sometimes you could dig up gyroids that play music, waffle.
*MUSEUM*
KoolAid: Ahem!
Blathers: Zzzzzzzz
KoolAid: Hello there!!
Blathers: Zzzzzzzz
KoolAid: Wake up you crappy colored owl!!!
Blathers: Zzzzzzzz
*BACK*
KoolAid: He didn't wake up.
Bea: Did you even dig up a fossil first, waffle?
KoolAid: (pauses) No.
Bea: Here. A shovel. Learn to use it, waffle.
Bea leaves
KoolAid: Ok. Digging. I don't see anything wrong there. But then again I didn't see anything wrong with the ants. Oh well. (Digs) Hm. Nothing.
*HOUR LATER*
KoolAid: AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I've dug a millions holes and no fossils!!
Kitty comes by
Kitty: Oh my, mreaow. What are all these holes?
KoolAid: I'm looking for fossils.
Kitty: Well then your supposed to dig up the star shaped holes, mreaow.
KoolAid: Huh?
Kitty: This, mreaow. (Points at star shaped hole in ground)
Kitty: Go ahead. Dig here, mreaow.
KoolAid: Ok. (Digs) Hey, I found a fossil!!
Kitty: Woo hoo, whatever, mreaow. (Kitty leaves)
*MUSEUM*
KoolAid: Hello?
Blathers: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
KoolAid: WAKE UP!!
Blathers: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
KoolAid: Crud!!
Throws fossil at Blathers
Blathers: Oh (pause) (snort) Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
KoolAid: Rrrrrrr.
*LATER*
Leigh: I know of a good way to get rid of frustration, cutie.
KoolAid: How?
Leigh: Chop down some trees. Take a good whack at them, cutie. Pretend their someone you hate like Kitty.
KoolAid: Hu?
Leigh: uh (pause) Here, cutie. (Gives KoolAid axe) Go have fun, cutie. Remember, someone you hate helps.
*THERE IS A LOT OF LATERS. SO LATER*
(Chopping)
KoolAid: Take that Nook and Rover and (Tree falls) TIMBER! (Thud) AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! WHERED THE TREE GO??!! It disappeared! Cool. (Shrugs) (Continues to chop) (Thud) Hu? (Legions of bees show up) AAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! (Runs to nearest stream, water, whatever) (Bess buzz by) Ok. Good. They're gone. Oh, wait. What about that fi-- (Crunch) AAAHHHHHH!!!!!
*LATER*
Boris spots KoolAid walking by the stream all soaked
Boris: Hey, KoolAid, junk! What happened to you again?
KoolAid: Everything.
Boris: Oh, too bad. Hey, look. That fish is following you.
KoolAid: I know.
Boris: Why, junk?
KoolAid: Because its eviiilll.
Boris: So wha'd you call it, junk?
KoolAid: Hm. Ball Cruncher.
Boris: Cool, junk. Why?
KoolAid: You'll find out someday.
Boris: Why are you still limping, junk? It looks worst than before.
KoolAid: Later.
Walks away
Boris: Cool, junk.
*NIGHT* Home
KoolAid: I'm so tired. I hurt all over. Its hard earning freaking bells around here.
Turns light off. Biskit and Louie still running away from bees. Swoosh by house
Both: AAHHHH!!! Bzzzz.
KoolAid: I'll never get any sleep at this rate. (Lays on sofa) So I'll just zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
*MORNING*
KoolAid: Zzzzzz
Knock on door. Knock knock). Boris, Talking to himself
Boris: Who's there? Pig. Pig who? Pig junk, junk. Ha ha ha!
KoolAid opens door
KoolAid: What? What do you want?
Boris: Dude its morning, junk! You should be making the most of it.
KoolAid: It's 7 AM!!
Boris: So? The early bird gets the worm, junk.
KoolAid: But I'm not a bird! I hate worms! And you're not a bird either!!
Boris: Ok. Let's go.
KoolAid: Weren't you just listening?!!
Boris: Yup and nope sope lets gope, junk.
*LATER*
Boris: Ok. I will teach you how to do thins correctly, junk. Now where'd you leave off?
KoolAid: This isn't going to work.
Boris: WHERE?!!
KoolAid: Everything.
Boris: Junk?
KoolAid: I started everything but never finished.
*BEACH*
Boris: Ok, we'll start with fishing, junk.
KoolAid: NNOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Boris: Shut up!!
Shuts up
Boris: Now take out your fishing rod and follow my lead, junk.
KoolAid: You go first.
Boris: Ok then, junk.
Finds fish and casts reel. Catches fish and reels in
Boris: See, junk? That easy.
KoolAid: How'd you do that? Ok. My turn.
Finds fish and casts line
KoolAid: Hey. What the? It's stuck.
Ching
Boris: AAHHHHH!!!!!! MY BUTT!!!!!!!
Buzzing and yelling noise head their way. Louie and Biskit again. Boris jumps in ocean while KoolAid climbs nearest tree. Buzzing and yelling pass.
KoolAid: My new hang out.
Boris: Funny, junk. (silence) (Crunch) AAAHHHHH!!!!!! Something bit my BUTT!!!!!!!
KoolAid: That's not fair. It wasn't supposed to bite you there. I guess it wanted rump.
Boris: AAHHHHH!!!
*LATER*
Boris: Diggin, junk.
KoolAid: Hm. Ok. Nothing wrong happen there.
Boris: Dig here, junk.
Digs
KoolAid: Yeah!! I found! Cat poop?
Boris: Egh. Moving on, junk.
*LATER*
Boris: Bug huntin, junk.
KoolAid: NNOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Boris: Stop that! They're only bugs, junk. Look and dragonfly.
KoolAid: Boris uhhhh
Boris: Shh. I almost got it, junk.
KoolAid: Ok. (Backs away slowly)
Boris: Aha! See?! Eaasssyyy, junk!!
KoolAid: Not till it breathes fire it isn't.
Boris: Dragonfly's don't breathe fire, junk.
KoolAid: Red ones do.
Boris: No they don't. And besides, this one is blue, junk.
Ping
KoolAid: AAHHHHHH!!!!! It breathes ice!!!!
Both: AHHHH!!!!!!
Both jump in water. Ping, ping, ping. Dragonfly leaves
KoolAid: (stutters) The, the, the, water, rr, rr, is freazing.
Boris: Ice cubes, junk.
Crunch
KoolAid: AAAHHHHHHh!!!!!!!!!
Boris: Aha ha! That's why you named that fish-
KoolAid: Shut up!!
*LATER*
KoolAid: Now what?
Boris: Now what?!! Riiight, junk. You got some bad voodoo or something! Stay away from me!!
KoolAid: But what do I do?
Boris running away
Boris: TRY SELLING FRUIT, JUNK!!
KoolAid: Fruit? You mean oranges?!!
Boris: YEAH!!
KoolAid: No way. Stupid trees have bees. But then, I just climbed a tree. Ah. No way.
*LATER*
KoolAid: What should I do?
Copper: Lend a hand.
KoolAid: That's sounds painful.
Copper: No. Be good citizen. Help someone.
KoolAid: But I don't want to.
Copper: You get rewarded.
KoolAid: Rewarded? (Pause) ok!
*LATER*
KoolAid: Ok. Who should I help?
Walks by streams. Sees fish following again
KoolAid: You!! What do you want besides me?!! (Of course no reply) Yeah. I thought so. Ha! You're so pathetic. All you can do is swim, eat, and poop. (Sounds familiar) Well? Quit following me! I like walking by the water. Bug off, err, swim away.
Picks up rock and throws at fish. Plonk
KoolAid: Ha! Ha! Ha! Direct hit! Hey. Why isn't it coming back up?
Leans over water. Bubbles rise. Fish comes up with rock on mouth
KoolAid: Oh crap.
Spits. Plonk
KoolAid: Owww!!! AAAHHHHHH!!!!
Splash. Crunch
KoolAid: AAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!
*LATER*
KoolAid: I'm gonna need surgery if that keeps happening. (Goes inside home) Tank. A fish tank. Aha! There! (Snag) Oww! Cr*p! Stupid fish. (Chomp, chomp, chomp) (Splash) There. Now you are my slave for ever!!!
*FLASHBACK OVER*
Yup. I still have B.C. After that I helped people. At first it didn't go so well. I still wonder whose underwear that belong to. That's another story. I have to feed B.C. He's getting mad. Its odd. One day I might have forgotten to feed him and he ended up waking me up in the middle of the night. That was scary and painful. Still it was a long time ago.
-----KoolAid
KoolAid: Here B.C. (Jumps out of tank) (Crunch)
AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH----------------!!!!!!!!!-------
Disclaimer: I hope this one was funny enough for you. Sorta sick too. Hmm. Oh well. If you thought it was sick tell me or tell me if you liked it. Review!! REVIEW!! OR YOU'LL HAVE TO DEAL WITH B.C.!!!!!!!!!