THE REASON I DON'T WANT SUPERPOWERS:
A FanFiction by Gertrude McGinnis and Kurt Weedwacker
DISCLAIMER: We (the almighty authors) do not own any of the...uhh...references to X-Men characters in this story, however we DO own the original ones. Now that we got THAT out of the way...this story contains sexual references, language, high stupidity and is guaranteed to lower your IQ about 10 points or more, not to mention contains random and disturbingly stupid humor.
This story is a parody of X-Men:Evolution...we've been inspired to enact our revenge in this fanfic by people in our high school who we don't like.
CAST OF CHARACTERS: let's see if you can figure out who they're a parody of :-P
Q-Tip: shoots laser beams out of his ears. DumpGirl: can phase through any type of garbage, waste, rubbish, trash. Playdoh: can teleport to a random place (uncontrolled teleporting) Miss Cleah: can read people's innermost most embarassing thoughts, nothing else. Rough Ryder: can absorb a person's most unuseful telent or power. Is the reincarnation of Teddy Roosevelt (just so ya know). Mr. Poop: shoots toilets at people. Eric: attracts wrestlers. Literally.
...and then there's Joanna, who's just the cook. She has no special powers and is randomly taken hostage by the bad guys when they want a ransom....that's pretty much the use we have for her in this fic :-P
If you still want to read on after all the various warnings...umm...good luck and enjoy!
**************************************************************************** ******
Chapter 1:
Our story begins with a hearty dinner around the table at the Xavier "mansion". Our characters are eating and having an animated debate over their evening meal. The question of the evening is: "which came first? Hot dog or bologna?" They were evenly torn to both sides. While half were in favor of the hot dog, the other insisted on balogna. My name is Wally, and I'm your narrator for this fic. I wish i had a different job, but I was paid a large sum of money by the authors so i will quit my bitchin' for now.
"I say the hot dog came first!" Q-Tip yelled angrily to the bologna side of the table. "hot dogs are so much cooler than bologna...because if they're frozen they stick!" "No way!" yelled DumpGirl "not like I would know...no I wouldn't now would I...but I would.. aaaahhh! I have to remember to stop contradicting myself when I'm trying to cover up!"
In case you all haven't figured it out yet, DumpGirl is a dumb dizt with an IQ of about 2.
Before she could finish her long winded ditzy statement, Miss Cleah swiftly smacked her over the head with a large frying pan. "That should teach you!" she huffed.
In case you where all wondering, I'll say Miss Cleah isn't exactly the nicest person in the world when it comes to dealing with annoyingly dim valley girls and can lose her patience rather quickly. She barely ever speaks and spends most of her time sulking in corners and glaring accusingly at her "co-workers".
"Heeeey what did you do that for?" whined DumpGirl, on the verge of hysterics In retort, Miss Cleah just glared at her in a very unfriendly way, as usual. "Hey will someone pass the salt please?" Playdoh asked in his affected (and clearly fake) british accent. "And does balogna really come from bologna or is it a misnomer?" he continued, waxing philosophical once more. "Hey, what did that word, like, mean?" giggled DumpGirl, feeling she might be able to add yet another "fancy word" to her vocabulary. This caused RoughRyder to roll her eyes in exasperation as Mr. Poop started sniggering, patting DumpGirl on the back and muttering "good one". Of course he stopped doing this as soon as he realized everyone else at the table was staring at him with a weirded out expression, obvously not getting his "joke".
Just for your information, Mr. Poop is what we would commonly call the typical "Mr. Cool Dude Wannabe". That meaning he is the type of person that tries too hard to be cool when he's really just a big dork. He was called Mr. Poop by his companions the day he decided to stop baithing, because of the smell. He grew very attached to the name since the others had given it to him. He never quite realized that it was an insult in his desperation for human contact.
"Er...ok then" he mumbled, shrinking into the nearest corner to join Miss Cleah, who decided she preferred to lurk around rather than to continue listening to the pitiful conversation. And 2 minutes later she concluded that she had made a good decision when she heard a sudden commotion going on in the dining room. Apparently more people had started favoring the bologna, causing Q-Tip to get pissed and start shooting laser beams out of his ears in the attempt to hit the opposing team. Of course, he kept missing considering he was too stupid to realize he had to turn his head in order to aim properly.
"This means war!" Mr. Poop proclaimed, and in his desperate efforts to look all heroic and macho, started flinging toilets at everyone. Soon, everyone started joining in, flinging whatever they found nearest to them at eachother, including food, drinks, and furniture. Hot dogs and bologne where flying everywhere, along with macaroni and cheese, salad, chips and salsa, and chocolate pudding. "Like, oh my god you guys! You are totally getting stuff on my brand new shirt!" protested DumpGirl before getting knocked out by a particularly large toilet. In the meantime, RoughRyder started going around punching random people and smearing chocolate pudding all over them since her "power" wasn't all that useful.
Suddenly out of nowhere a huge green laser beam blasted through the ceiling, abducting them all. In case you haven't figured it out yet, the abducter was Eric, who wanted yet again to...umm...."save the day" and carry on with his evil plans to rule the Earth (not to mention to attract as many wrestlers as possible ;-)). So pretty much everyone got transported to Eric's personal super-sized flying saucer and got whisked off to infinity and beyond. Except for Playdoh and DumpGirl, who ended up teleporting to a lingerie store.
__________________ TO BE CONTINUED.....
A FanFiction by Gertrude McGinnis and Kurt Weedwacker
DISCLAIMER: We (the almighty authors) do not own any of the...uhh...references to X-Men characters in this story, however we DO own the original ones. Now that we got THAT out of the way...this story contains sexual references, language, high stupidity and is guaranteed to lower your IQ about 10 points or more, not to mention contains random and disturbingly stupid humor.
This story is a parody of X-Men:Evolution...we've been inspired to enact our revenge in this fanfic by people in our high school who we don't like.
CAST OF CHARACTERS: let's see if you can figure out who they're a parody of :-P
Q-Tip: shoots laser beams out of his ears. DumpGirl: can phase through any type of garbage, waste, rubbish, trash. Playdoh: can teleport to a random place (uncontrolled teleporting) Miss Cleah: can read people's innermost most embarassing thoughts, nothing else. Rough Ryder: can absorb a person's most unuseful telent or power. Is the reincarnation of Teddy Roosevelt (just so ya know). Mr. Poop: shoots toilets at people. Eric: attracts wrestlers. Literally.
...and then there's Joanna, who's just the cook. She has no special powers and is randomly taken hostage by the bad guys when they want a ransom....that's pretty much the use we have for her in this fic :-P
If you still want to read on after all the various warnings...umm...good luck and enjoy!
**************************************************************************** ******
Chapter 1:
Our story begins with a hearty dinner around the table at the Xavier "mansion". Our characters are eating and having an animated debate over their evening meal. The question of the evening is: "which came first? Hot dog or bologna?" They were evenly torn to both sides. While half were in favor of the hot dog, the other insisted on balogna. My name is Wally, and I'm your narrator for this fic. I wish i had a different job, but I was paid a large sum of money by the authors so i will quit my bitchin' for now.
"I say the hot dog came first!" Q-Tip yelled angrily to the bologna side of the table. "hot dogs are so much cooler than bologna...because if they're frozen they stick!" "No way!" yelled DumpGirl "not like I would know...no I wouldn't now would I...but I would.. aaaahhh! I have to remember to stop contradicting myself when I'm trying to cover up!"
In case you all haven't figured it out yet, DumpGirl is a dumb dizt with an IQ of about 2.
Before she could finish her long winded ditzy statement, Miss Cleah swiftly smacked her over the head with a large frying pan. "That should teach you!" she huffed.
In case you where all wondering, I'll say Miss Cleah isn't exactly the nicest person in the world when it comes to dealing with annoyingly dim valley girls and can lose her patience rather quickly. She barely ever speaks and spends most of her time sulking in corners and glaring accusingly at her "co-workers".
"Heeeey what did you do that for?" whined DumpGirl, on the verge of hysterics In retort, Miss Cleah just glared at her in a very unfriendly way, as usual. "Hey will someone pass the salt please?" Playdoh asked in his affected (and clearly fake) british accent. "And does balogna really come from bologna or is it a misnomer?" he continued, waxing philosophical once more. "Hey, what did that word, like, mean?" giggled DumpGirl, feeling she might be able to add yet another "fancy word" to her vocabulary. This caused RoughRyder to roll her eyes in exasperation as Mr. Poop started sniggering, patting DumpGirl on the back and muttering "good one". Of course he stopped doing this as soon as he realized everyone else at the table was staring at him with a weirded out expression, obvously not getting his "joke".
Just for your information, Mr. Poop is what we would commonly call the typical "Mr. Cool Dude Wannabe". That meaning he is the type of person that tries too hard to be cool when he's really just a big dork. He was called Mr. Poop by his companions the day he decided to stop baithing, because of the smell. He grew very attached to the name since the others had given it to him. He never quite realized that it was an insult in his desperation for human contact.
"Er...ok then" he mumbled, shrinking into the nearest corner to join Miss Cleah, who decided she preferred to lurk around rather than to continue listening to the pitiful conversation. And 2 minutes later she concluded that she had made a good decision when she heard a sudden commotion going on in the dining room. Apparently more people had started favoring the bologna, causing Q-Tip to get pissed and start shooting laser beams out of his ears in the attempt to hit the opposing team. Of course, he kept missing considering he was too stupid to realize he had to turn his head in order to aim properly.
"This means war!" Mr. Poop proclaimed, and in his desperate efforts to look all heroic and macho, started flinging toilets at everyone. Soon, everyone started joining in, flinging whatever they found nearest to them at eachother, including food, drinks, and furniture. Hot dogs and bologne where flying everywhere, along with macaroni and cheese, salad, chips and salsa, and chocolate pudding. "Like, oh my god you guys! You are totally getting stuff on my brand new shirt!" protested DumpGirl before getting knocked out by a particularly large toilet. In the meantime, RoughRyder started going around punching random people and smearing chocolate pudding all over them since her "power" wasn't all that useful.
Suddenly out of nowhere a huge green laser beam blasted through the ceiling, abducting them all. In case you haven't figured it out yet, the abducter was Eric, who wanted yet again to...umm...."save the day" and carry on with his evil plans to rule the Earth (not to mention to attract as many wrestlers as possible ;-)). So pretty much everyone got transported to Eric's personal super-sized flying saucer and got whisked off to infinity and beyond. Except for Playdoh and DumpGirl, who ended up teleporting to a lingerie store.
__________________ TO BE CONTINUED.....