Note; Unedited version on AO3.

Chapter Thirty-Nine

The Frog Worries, Worries, Worries

Will woke up a few times. They had only shared a bed through the night twice before. One was after Achilles was attacked, and Phobos was too mentally exhausted to be too bothered. The second was after their love confessions, and they drifted in and out of sleep, physically driven to satisfy themselves and the other.

Now, he was uncomfortable, not worn out mentally or physically, with Will glued to him.

She felt… needy. They had a fine sex drive, but there was a lack of intimacy after. As much as she tried not to compare Phobos to Matt, he was her only other relationship to judge what she liked and disliked.

While sex with Matt was never as intense as with Phobos, since the prince wasn't afraid to 'worship' her, as he embarrassingly reminded her as he made her toes curl, Matt was a safe space for her to relax. It was hard to find that with Phobos, as she was always on edge that he was moments from being attacked or poisoned and his stubborn self would just hide it from her.

So now, with Phobos urging her to stay, she let herself indulge in that need, in the want to just cling to her lover as she slept. She felt guilty when he shifted enough to wake her, but, as he still held her close, she let that feeling go, trusting him to voice his needs. At one point, she felt his mouth at her crown, lips moving as he sleepily mumbled something she didn't catch. But she knew, in her heart, it was more of his sweet confessions of his love of her.

This all was different for him.

She had decades of loving people.

He had only a few weeks.

So it still overwhelmed him. And she understood why he panicked and stupidly had Achilles pull back his bonds. But that couldn't keep happening. She gave him his connection to his familiar to keep himself safe in the face of danger, not to throw it all away when she left the castle for a few hours.

Will knew she had given him a key to his shackles and expected him to not use it.

Achilles could make portals, for fuck's sake. All he had to do was break Elyon's bonds and no one could stop him from going anywhere. Kandrakar would be unable to track his movements thanks to his blessing, and he could planet hop as he desired.

There was no regret in her, though, even with Achilles' new powers, as she still felt he had a right to protect himself. Deep within her, she believed he was honest when he said he just wanted to break his immortality and leave Metamoor behind. That didn't mean he didn't have ambition. Of what, though, she wasn't sure.

Did he still want to rule a kingdom? Learn new magic? Travel the vast realms?

All she really knew was he wanted her by his side.

What… did she want?

She had spent so long clinging to the Heart, she never thought of what she wanted with it. Was it really okay, just serving Xin Jing? For now, it was fine, helping her grow and learn as she woke. But what about after? Would she go back to just running whatever task the council sent her on?

What life did she want?

One of magic.

One with her family.

One with her friends.

One with Phobos.

Was that possible? Having all at once? Why did that list both seem too simple and too grand?

A hand was rubbing her back, waking her again, the gentle caress warming her skin, and she shifted, rubbing her face against the hard chest pressed to her.

"Sorry," Phobos muttered, voice groggy. "Go back to sleep." She tried to say not to worry about waking her, but it was a low mumble as her mouth barely moved. So she just settled against him again, deeply breathing in his scent.

Will woke up in the morning light with Phobos spooning her from behind. He was asleep, breath hot on her neck, and she stayed still for a long while, enjoying the weight of his chest at her back, his arm across her hip, the other under her head. His left arm was the one across her hip, so she could see the black ring on his hand.

It was interesting, Phobos' connection to Achilles.

When Will had told Elyon of her parent's message, she told Will of how she felt Achilles was a reflection of Phobos if he was allowed to live a tragedy free life. Cedric seemed to confirm it, as the older man was accepting of his daughter's friendship with the frog after his initial distrust. While he would not recount his history with the prince, he was the least surprised Phobos created the overly emotional familiar.

Achilles was Elyon's one chance at family, as strange as that was, and the girls saw how deeply she was bonding with the frog as the days passed. Phobos had grown to tolerate the queen, but not even Will was love-struck enough to think he would open his heart to his sister. As long as her powers bound him, he would never trust her. And given what he had done, it would be a long time before Elyon could start returning his powers. If ever.

Will understood better now how complicated it was, balancing life with duty. And Elyon's family life was complicated. Her adoptive parents loved her as their queen. Not able to separate her from her title once she returned to Metamoor. And Phobos could not separate her from Weira, taking his pain out on someone innocent who trusted him. Loved him.

So now she had Achilles, a little brother who grew in awe of her in a more loving way. Who wanted to help make her day easier, better. He talked about how it was amazing she was so kind, even when people could be so mean.

Phobos didn't understand how it hurt Achilles, breaking his promise to Elyon to help his master. He had free will, and he had grown to care about his sister in a way Phobos could not. It was all a painful mess and Will wasn't sure how to handle it all.

She knew Phobos cared about Achilles, but that care was muddled. Achilles was created as a tool to help him gain his freedom. Created when Phobos felt at his lowest. Wanted to die to end what he felt was a pointless life.

Now, could he see Achilles as something more?

What even? A child version of himself? Son? Nephew? Ward?

It was messy and strange. And she doubted anybody but Phobos could find that answer. Still, she needed to talk to him about putting Achilles in situations where he had to disobey Elyon and leave him a crying mess. If Achilles really was a reflection of Phobos, there would only be a matter of time before the kid grew bitter and pushed back, just like Phobos did with Weira.

Ah, yeah, she needed to think about how they would talk about that, as comparing him to Weira was a surefire way to get him on the defense.

The arm at her waist moved, pulling her closer as his knees tucked into the back of hers. Lips touched her neck as his hips moved flushed against her.

"Oh," she gasped, surprised as he flexed against her again, making their morning guest known. "Oh!"

He didn't say a word, pushing her leg forward enough to move aside her sleep shorts.

"Phobos," she mewled, brain still hazy with a sleep fog, hands gripping the sheets. His mouth was at her neck, teeth worrying skin, tongue hot.

Phobos groaned. "Will," he whispered, strained, her name making her heart skip, the intimacy of the moment pushing her over the edge.

Kissing the shell of her ear, Phobos moved to spoon her again.

"Good morning," he mumbled, sounding tired but content.

She pulled his hand up to her mouth, kissing it as she laughed, "Mornin' to you, too. How long were you waiting?"

He chuckled. "I told you last night, hmm? Now seemed appropriate."

"Just so you know, cuddling doesn't always lead to that," she playfully warned.

Phobos snorted. "Love, a strong wind can arouse you. I'm not too worried about having a moment of not feeling like a piece of meat." Will laughed, moving to sit up, making Phobos to do so as well. They pointlessly flirted with each other for a while, before they parted to wash up and start their day.

Will felt energized. Some of the weight in her chest was lifted, confessing her worries to Phobos, and sleeping in his arms was comforting. Plus, a morning quickie was a great start, as it helped keep her mind from thinking her normally endless dirty thoughts of her new lover for a few hours.

Her high was short-lived as she eventually had to seek Xin Jing, who was running tasks with a very glum Achilles.

Will recalled Xin Jing. The nymph was, for once, happy to do so. Completely overwhelmed with Achilles' dower emotions, as her sunny outlook made it hard for to understand those on the opposite end of the spectrum.

"Can we talk, bud?" she asked the frog as she knelled down to his height.

His dark eyes looked duller than normal as they gazed at her. "Yes," he agreed. Confident that she knew Achilles well enough, she pulled him to her, letting him wrap his arms around her neck as she stood. Teleporting away, they arrived at her sitting room, the only place she could guarantee privacy at the moment.

It was a frustrating conversation, as Achilles was far more guarded than expected. Will tried to assure him everything was okay and Phobos had just overreacted.

"No, he didn't," Achilles said quietly, sitting next to her, kicking his legs over the edge of the couch. "I was worried about you, too."

Will rubbed his back, a flicker of regret in her knowing she had worried the kid. "But Phobos should know better. Do better. He scared you for no reason."

Achilles shook his head again, a heaviness in the air thicken between them. "No, master was right. Finding you was important. Without you then…," he stopped, refusing to meet her worried eyes, hands balled so tight in his lap that his knuckles were turning white.

"Without me, what?" she softly pressed, hand still moving up and down his little back, able to feel the tightness of his muscles.

"When you are gone, what's going to happen to master?" he asked, hands shaking on the top of his thighs.

"What do you think will happen? When I leave?"

Achilles glanced at her, eyes sharper than she ever remembered seeing.

Not a child, Phobos kept warning her, and this was the first time that warning felt like more than silly caution.

"Everyone still hates him. Even after saving his sister. Even more after learning about me and Sir Vathek being made to leave. People think Queen Elyon is weak. Cannot keep master 'in line' like you."

"Have you heard people say that? That I can keep Phobos, ah, in line better than Elyon?"

He nodded.

"They trust you more than they hate him. When you leave, what is going to stop it from being like the lake? Like the courtyard?"

"That… that's a good question," she admitted, voice low, as that was a worry she had as well. "I can't say everything will be fine. Even if Phobos is trying to do better. Even if Elyon is stepping up as a ruler more. That doesn't change how people feel. And it might not change for a long time. Maybe… maybe never." She took a deep breath. "Phobos did a lot of shitty things and a lot of shitty things happened to him just because he was born. Neither are okay," she explained, trying to find her own feelings on the complicated matter.

"I love him, but I know he still has a long way to go before he is even close to making up for what he has done. Why he is like this isn't his fault, but fixing it is unfortunately all on him."

"How is that fair?" Achilles demanded, eyes wide with frustration.

She gave a tight smile. "Kid, I'm sorry to be the first to say this to you, but life isn't fair. It's messy and painful and confusing. And Weira, even if she didn't mean to, planted this anger, this fear, in Phobos long ago. It's grown into a big stupid tree that has roots throughout the foundation of his life that he's finally tending to. He can chop it down and spend the rest of his life pulling out the roots that fester. Or he can still let it grow until it's towering over him, blocking out everything."

Will sighed. "I can't really explain it, Achilles. It's just work. A lot of work that I'm willing to help him with. And him caring about you… it shows that he is making progress. Good progress. You understand that, right?"

Achilles nodded. "Yes, I know master cares about us." Then, bluntly. "But that doesn't matter to anyone else."

She gave a weak laugh. "That's not what I meant. I'm talking about last night. You were pretty upset."

Achilles looked away. "Oh."

"Achilles? Is there something else that's bothering you?"

"I don't think you should leave," he mumbled, not meeting her eyes. "I know you have to go to your home, but things are not safe here. Master is not safe."

"That's why he has the ring-"

Suddenly, Achilles jumped to his feet, turning to look at her.

"If he uses it, he shall be in trouble! I shall be in trouble!" he yelled, angry. "But if you stay, then he does not have to use it! And I can stay here, with Cecilia and Elyon and everyone! Why do you have to leave? Break everything? Why not stay and protect master?"

"Achilles, calm down," she pleaded, standing with her hands raised in a calming gesture.

"Aren't you happy here? Isn't Xin Jing? Why leave? Why leave us?"

"Achilles," she tried again to calm him as she knelled before him. "I love being here with you, Phobos, the girls, everyone, but I have a job. There are so many people that depend on the guardians. I can't just stay here forever."

"Liar! Liar! Liar!" he yelled, tears streaming down his red cheeks. "You can do whatever you want! That is what everyone says! You have more magic than me, master, or Elyon! And Xin Jing would-"

"No," Will said quickly. "Just because I can do something doesn't mean I should."

Achilles was shaking his head. "So you are going to leave to protect everyone but us? We need you too! Master is not safe. Elyon is not safe. I am not-" he stopped, a sob ripping through him. His enormous eyes held hers as he forced out. "If you leave, I am going to hate you. Hate you forever."

"Achilles, you don't mean that-"

"Yes, I do! You cannot tell me what I mean! If you leave and master gets hurt, I am going to hate you!" he yelled, body shaking with each painful utterance of his distress. "Hate you, hate you, hate you!"

"Achilles, please, calm down. We can talk about- I can explain-"

"No!" Achilles yelled and Will could see the other part of Phobos in him. The emotionally unstable part that was terrified of being alone. Terrified of people and having to put his trust in them when they had already failed him in his short life.

Achilles, to Will's shock, teleported away, leaving her reaching out to comfort the empty air.

"I can recall him," Phobos offered, sitting on the edge of her bed.

Will, deeply devastated by Achilles' rejection, was laying face first into one of the bed's plush pillow.

"No," she moaned out. "He needs some space."

While she was supposed to have lunch with the prince, she wasn't up to it and had sent a message with a servant to him. He ended up coming to check what was wrong, as his actions last night proved he was overly worried about her safety. And ended up trying to comfort her after she told him of Achilles' blow up.

And the prince's attempt at comfort was… lacking.

"You are too attached to him," Phobos pointed out. "It might be good for some distance, then."

"You can leave if that's your take," she mumbled.

"I offered to recall him so you can speak with him and you say no. I then agree you both need distance and you wish for me to leave? Baffling."

Will slid over, moving to make a space for him, and explained, "Sometimes not saying anything is the right move."

Phobos laid down next to her and let her have her pity party for a while. He was still tired from last night and finally fell asleep next to her from fatigue. After an hour, her stomach growled, but Will ignored it, as she was now staring up at the canopy.

Achilles was so sure she needed to stay. Phobos clearly wanted her to as well, but wasn't about to push her on the topic.

She knew she was leaving Phobos and Elyon at not the most ideal time. But with Will off planet, maybe the populace could just focus on working with Elyon? Working to deal with the deeply ingrained prejudice they had with everything from magic to race to social status.

Ah, yeah, that wasn't happening.

The only way was a miracle.

Will touched the pink jewel at her neck, Xin Jing resting peacefully with them.

Then she turned to watch Phobos resting on his back, having fallen asleep with his fingers laced across his stomach, legs crossed.

Maybe it was time Will started making some decisions of her own?

She was the Light of Infinity, after all.