"Tell me there isn't another case."
They had just arrived after two cases in a row and fatigue was already wearing them down.
"No, there is no other case" the unit chief confirmed to them "You can go and rest".
Derek sighed with relief. He was just looking forward to getting home, filling his hot tub and relaxing until he fell asleep. He had been sleepless for several days.
The cruelty of the cases still gave him nightmares. His own life also contributed to those little night terrors. Stress produced memories that he wished to bury forever.
However, he would sleep well that night. His body was really tired.
He saw her leave Rossi's office and quickly made eye contact. She looked at him with her gaze full of contempt. But he loved that little game.
After the incident at the pub, they had tried to avoid each other. The atmosphere was so tense that it could be cut with a knife.
Derek was ashamed of his behavior. And he knew that deep down, she felt ashamed too. Penelope had no reason to be, though. That was her truth and she had every right to tell it. Even though her words stuck like sharp needles, turning his heart into a sieve.
That damned summer still hurt. He had it branded in the darkest corner of his soul. All of his dreams came crashing down.
That cheerful seventeen boy died when he realized that was not right. He owed Carl a lot of things. Even his nightmares.
He believed that it was not bad. Just a normal thing that men did when they drank. That's what his mentor had told him since he was thirteen. It was a man's deal. He would give him what he wanted and Carl would help him achieve all his goals.
It was a win-win situation for both of them. Or so young Derek thought.
He knew something was wrong when at fifteen he was unable to go beyond a long kiss with a girl. That man kidnapped his mind and his senses. It made a beautiful experience turn into something disgusting.
Derek became a troubled teenager. Luckily, he managed to rise from his ashes and flew so high that he even made it to the FBI. But at times, when the night came loaded with sleeplessness for him, he still felt like screaming at the top of his lungs. His heart wanted to tear those bad feelings away but they were part of him. So he would go down to the basement, put on his gloves and beat that sack like a demon.
Morning came and with it, the distraction from his work. His lifeline.
"Do you guys feel like going somewhere for dinner?"
Derek nodded at his partner's question as he finished filling out a document.
"Is your best friend coming, JJ?"
The blonde shook her head with a smile.
"Don't know, you ask her" She pointed to the woman coming towards them "Hey, Garcia are you done yet?"
"Yes, finally" She sat on the edge of her friend's table "I wasn't aware there was so much crazy on the loose. It's to be feared."
"But you don't be afraid, baby. You know I'm here to protect you"
She stared at him, serious as a marble statue.
"Ok and who protects me from your nonsense, Morgan?"
Derek chuckled under his breath as Spencer watched Penelope head for a coffee from the machine in the living room. Apparently, they were all caffeine addicts.
"Incredible. A woman who resists Lord Heartbreaker charms. I'm her fan."
Derek noticed the poorly disguised smile on his friend's face, sitting next to him. He was supposed to be there to help him with the reports, not to tease him.
"She needs time" he replied, placing his hands behind his neck. Penelope had feelings for him. He had no doubt "She just needs time".
Spencer frowned. "Do you really like her?" he looked at him with a slight smile on his lips "Or are you just frustrated? I mean, you're not used to women rejecting your love."
It was a good question. He wasn't used to women rejecting him. Quite the contrary. He was used to being harassed by them. He was the one who decided who he slept with because they were always willing to do so.
But that wasn't why he insisted on Penelope. Of course it wasn't.
He just couldn't talk to Spencer about his past. It wasn't something he was proud of. He never had been. His actions were those of a miserable being.
His smile disappeared from his face. The truth was that he did not deserve her forgiveness. He had behaved like a bastard. And yes, he was seventeen. He was almost a child. But she was fifteen and didn't deserve so much pain.
Spencer watched the other man. His cocky smile was gone. He decided not to ask any more questions. But he was convinced that there was an untold story between Derek and Penelope. That was more than clear.
"I'm leaving now. It's late and I don't want my son to be alone too long."
"Haven't you found a home yet?" asked JJ, stopping writing for a moment "You know my home doors are open to you."
She smiled gratefully.
"Thank you, really. But it's not necessary. Next week I'll focus on finding something. Remind me to make sure the owner is not a moron like the one last time."
"Where are you staying?"
Derek didn't want to sound indiscreet but he really wanted to know. Penelope had no family in Virginia and apparently no friends other than them.
He didn't know if she would answer him. But she realized he wasn't kidding. He wasn't doing it to annoy her. He was genuinely concerned.
Her kid spent quite a few hours alone and probably didn't even have a place to call home.
"We are in a hotel. We've been there for a week. But don't worry, we're fine."
He nodded and began to think. Maybe he had a solution.
"Well, I'm off. I hope you guys don't have too long a night."
Penelope smiled and said goodbye to them. They were a good team. The best she had ever had.
She stood in front of the elevator and took a deep breath. It was a daily fight between her tiredness and her claustrophobia.
"Garcia"
She turned to look over his shoulder at Derek. She couldn't help but squint. He was too stubborn.
"Morgan, seriously," she whispered, still looking around. "I'm about to report you for sexual harassment."
He frowned and did the same thing she did. He looked around him. But there was no one there.
"What were you looking at?"
The elevator opened and Penelope quickly stepped inside. She thought she would slip past her partner, but no such luck. Derek positioned his right foot to block the doors from closing and stepped inside in two strides.
She threw her head back. More than two months had passed since the incident that night. They had not spoken to each other for weeks but had to break their pact of silence for work reasons.
A few days later, Derek was back to being the same guy who kept dropping hints at her. Although she had to admit that they were no longer as brazen as in the beginning. It seemed that what he really wanted was to be her friend.
Penelope knew him well. He wanted her forgiveness. And he wasn't going to stop until he got it.
Her heart could not forgive so much pain, but she could try to have a cordial relationship. In the end, they were going to work together.
And then, there was Jamie.
She stepped out of the elevator, followed by Derek. But he stopped halfway.
"Garcia, I have to go back upstairs. I still have paperwork to do."
Her gesture softened and she smiled softly.
"You may go, my Frank Famer."
Derek smiled in return, though his smile was a little wider. He was visibly nervous. His fingers drummed on his right thigh trying to calm his heartbeat.
"I need to talk to you."
Penelope sighed heavily. Her eyes roamed the place again. He had been working for the FBI for many years and felt confident in his job. He didn't give a damn whether they saw him talking to her or not. He was aware that they were not going to get rid of him so easily.
"They're not going to scold us for talking."
Penelope looked at him in genuine surprise. She lived in constant fear of losing that job. She had been trying for years to bring some stability to her life.
"How did you know...?"
"I'm a profiler," he replied with mock arrogance. "And a good one."
The truth was that he was better than she thought. Derek had always been smart, though. He just made bad decisions when he was young. Just like she did.
"Morgan, my sixteen year old is alone in a hotel. I see horrible things on a daily basis so it's not something I like to do very often."
Derek nodded as he moved a little closer to her. Penelope felt her pulse racing again.
"You can come to my place" he folded his arms, perhaps to control his nerves "Stay as long as you need to."
Her body froze. Of all possible things, that was the last thing Penelope expected him to say. Her eyes opened almost at the same time as her mouth.
"Excuse me?"
The man closed his eyes for a few seconds and raised both hands. Apparently, she had misunderstood him.
"You don't have to live with me. I have four houses."
She narrowed her eyes.
"What do you mean you have four houses?"
Penelope thought for a few seconds about how Derek changed his life, but quickly focused on rejecting his offer.
"I cannot accept. Thank you, thank you very much. You are very kind, but...".
"No buts" he interrupted her by putting a finger to her lips "It's the best thing for you and your son will have a home."
She grabbed his wrist and gently pulled his hand down. His eyes were still fixed on hers. It was mind-boggling how he could send electric shocks down her spine with just a glance, so many years later.
Penelope was no longer a teenager. But God knew that sometimes she still acted like one.
"The house still needs some touching up. But you can live there just fine. I'll finish the room and pick you up on Sunday."
"No need."
"I want to" he grabbed her hand with his fingertips, as if he feared her anger "I owe you."
The time the silence between them was long enough for her eyes to water. No, she could not accept it. She had to keep marking the distance between them. It was best for everyone.
Her heart was not ready for forgiveness. Her inner fifteen-year-old girl was still alive inside her.
She swallowed saliva and dodged his gaze. If his brown eyes met hers, her answer would be yes.
"You owe me nothing" she whispered with a firmness she didn't feel. You were a jerk but it's clear you're a good person now. You've gone from zero to hero, like Hercules. You've managed to clear your karma."
He smiled but she knew he was not happy. Maybe he felt that empty space too. Maybe his memory also recalled their good times. Maybe, just maybe, he also wished he had grown up next to her.
"But I haven't gotten you to forgive me. And I have a feeling that" his voice almost cracked with emotion "it doesn't matter what I do. You never will."
Penelope saw him duck his gaze for a few seconds. She would swear there was some hint of sadness on his face. But soon his radiant smile was there again, ready to dazzle her.
"Well, at least I've caught a little truce"
The elevator door opened. All of their colleagues were there.
She turned slightly away from Derek, noticing the smiles and stares from the others. Penelope could feel the heat reddening her cheeks.
"Bye."
Derek watched her walk away almost at the same time he heard footsteps behind him.
"Hey, but Cupid did hit you hard."
He didn't need to look at her face to know his friend was having fun. She always did. Emily Prentiss seemed to enjoy his bad times.
"Prentiss, get lost"
The brunette woman merely laughed, letting the subject pass. But he couldn't dodge Doctor Reid so easily.
"What was going on?"
Spencer was behind him, a few steps away. JJ and Emily were still whispering with laughter. Derek knew perfectly well that he was the center of attention.
He did not know the reason but felt a slight tightness in his chest. Penelope's refusal had hurt his pride. Not that he thought she would gladly accept. He knew she wouldn't.
But, in all honesty, he believed she would accept his help. Reluctantly and with resistance. But eventually she would accept for the safety of her son.
"I've finished your paperwork, at least you could tell me what's going on with Garcia.".
Derek didn't feel like talking about it. He wasn't ready to do it.
But his friend was right. He was like a brother to him and he deserved the truth. At least a part of his story.
He put his arm around her shoulders and made an effort to smile. There would be time for drama later.
"And in appreciation, I'll buy you a burger, fries and an ice cold beer at Jack's. Let me call Lynch".
The young man twisted his face.
"I don't like beer."
Derek opened his car door with a smile on his face. How boring his life would be without Spencer Reid.