Chapter 3:
The team looked at their new and foreign surroundings. They had been beamed aboard the flying saucer by some sort of extremely powerful alien force ("WOOOOOO-HOOOO!" shouted Mr. Poop as they whirled through the air "This is fun!" until he was shut up by the hostile glances he received from his team mates). They figured they where located on the central bridge of the spaceship. "Where the hell are we?" Q-Tip said angrily to the surrounding darkness, obviously ingoring the comment previously made by Rough Ryder on their wherabouts, being macho AND stupid. A figure glided from the shadows and began to speak:
"Welcome aboard my amazing space-thingy X-freaks! First of all, let me introduce myself. I am the lord of wrestlers, the master of mats, the king of cheese, the prince of other idiots like me, the founder of space missions to planet XYZ, the aaaaaaaalmightyyyy.....ERIC!"
His little speech was received with a bunch of dropped jaws, clueless looks, and mutters of "what an idiot...". This, however, did not seem to discourage the aaaaaaalmightyyyy Eric who smiled pompously and announced that they where all being held hostage...for...well...no apparent reason, just because he wanted to.
"But what do you want with us?" Mr. Poop asked, trying to ignore his now moistened pants "I...haven't though of that yet...but...shut up fool! How dare you question my all powerful evil plots!" yelled Eric, now starting to get really ticked off. "Um...sorry sir!" stammered Mr. Poop, embarassed he was being humiliated once again in front of his complanions, what a shocker.
Suddenly, just as Q-Tip was about to make another smart-assed remark, as he usual does in abduction and death situations, he was lifted off the ground by an overpowering magnetic force and shot through the air straight at Eric, who didn't even seem all that surpised. "Oh no, not AGAIN!" whined Eric as he realized Q-Tip was stuck to his arm. Q-Tip, forgetting his dignity and machoism, started kicking and screaming like a girl "Let go! Let gooo! Help! Rape! Molestation! Ahhh!" in a very high pitched voice. He even tried to bite Eric, but, ceasing to realize Eric was wearing a very thick metal suit, injured his front tooth very badly. "Oww! Brainfreeze!" he shrieked stupidly.
Let me fill you in on the reason why Eric magically attracted wrestlers. See, being very gay and having his heart broken by a wrestler during his childhood, he made an oath that one day just like the cool dude from X-Men Magneto could attract metal (the human magnet) HE would be able to attract WRESTLERS!
DUN DUN DUUUNNNNN!
At hearing this, the Tooth Fairy suddenly burst into the room through the window and granted his wish. From that day on...Eric became the human wrestler magnet! *Cheers echo through the crowd* Okay, now that we cleared that up, let's get back to the action *more cheers*
"Oh, no!" shouted Rough Ryder, waving her arms frantically and running around like an idiot "We've gotta help Q-Tip get loose from the grip of the evil almighty Eric!" With that, she charged headfirst into Eric's chest, and once again, ceasing to realize that Eric was wearing a very thick metal suit, almost knocked herself out on the spot. "Oww! Dizziness!" she protested as she swooned and landed on top of Eric, knocking him over. "Oh great!" thought Eric sarcastically, struggling to get up to rid himself of the two "Why do I always get picked to be the bad guy in these dammed fanfictions!"
"Because you're a loser and we don't like you!" shouted the almighty authors who where randomly tanning on beach chairs at the very top of the flying saucer "so quit your bitchin' and get your butt back into the story!" and emphasized this by pegging him in the head with the nearest bottle of sunblock. "Oww! Migraine!" he groaned as he resigned himself to get back to work.
After Eric's grudging descent back into the fic, he recommenced his attack on the team. "It will all be over soon, X-Jerks. As we speak this very saucer is absorbing your powers and draining you of your precious life. As they leave you, they are absorbed directly into my being! Soon you will all wither away and i will be stronger than all of you combined! Mwahahahahaaaa!
Miss Cleah had been staring at Eric, unalarmed by his prattle and very focused. Suddenly, she spoke up. "You only want our powers so you can impress Kurt Weedwacker!". She smirked evilly.
"Hey! I heard that!" frowned Kurt from the top of the saucer, who was now busy dancing the tango with Gertrude. "One more reference to me in this whole chapter, and I'm zapping you out of this fic!"
Eric blushed noticably. "HOW DID YOU KNOW I WANT HIM?!?...I mean, shut up, I'm not gay!" he stammered to Miss Cleah, very startled that his secret had been revealed. Just then, he felt a curious feeling, the kind that he usually got when he was looking at cute wrestlers on tv, and soon realized Rough Ryder had revived and was staring daggers at him. "How is this possible?" he thought in utter confusion. "Me, falling in love with a girl? But...but...I'm gay! How can I like Rough Ryder?! GAHHHH!!!" At this, he dissapeared in a puff of multicolored smoke, looking for somewhere he could sit down and think properly (something he had never done before in his life). Then, Gertrude and Kurt (who where very busy eating chips and salsa, STILL at the top of the saucer) pulled out 2 magic wands, pointed them at the hostages, and zapped them back to the Xavier mansion...just because they where getting bored with that scenario. Ohhh boy. I am Wally, your narrator, and I STILL hate my job. Grrr....
__________________ TO BE CONTINUED.....
The team looked at their new and foreign surroundings. They had been beamed aboard the flying saucer by some sort of extremely powerful alien force ("WOOOOOO-HOOOO!" shouted Mr. Poop as they whirled through the air "This is fun!" until he was shut up by the hostile glances he received from his team mates). They figured they where located on the central bridge of the spaceship. "Where the hell are we?" Q-Tip said angrily to the surrounding darkness, obviously ingoring the comment previously made by Rough Ryder on their wherabouts, being macho AND stupid. A figure glided from the shadows and began to speak:
"Welcome aboard my amazing space-thingy X-freaks! First of all, let me introduce myself. I am the lord of wrestlers, the master of mats, the king of cheese, the prince of other idiots like me, the founder of space missions to planet XYZ, the aaaaaaaalmightyyyy.....ERIC!"
His little speech was received with a bunch of dropped jaws, clueless looks, and mutters of "what an idiot...". This, however, did not seem to discourage the aaaaaaalmightyyyy Eric who smiled pompously and announced that they where all being held hostage...for...well...no apparent reason, just because he wanted to.
"But what do you want with us?" Mr. Poop asked, trying to ignore his now moistened pants "I...haven't though of that yet...but...shut up fool! How dare you question my all powerful evil plots!" yelled Eric, now starting to get really ticked off. "Um...sorry sir!" stammered Mr. Poop, embarassed he was being humiliated once again in front of his complanions, what a shocker.
Suddenly, just as Q-Tip was about to make another smart-assed remark, as he usual does in abduction and death situations, he was lifted off the ground by an overpowering magnetic force and shot through the air straight at Eric, who didn't even seem all that surpised. "Oh no, not AGAIN!" whined Eric as he realized Q-Tip was stuck to his arm. Q-Tip, forgetting his dignity and machoism, started kicking and screaming like a girl "Let go! Let gooo! Help! Rape! Molestation! Ahhh!" in a very high pitched voice. He even tried to bite Eric, but, ceasing to realize Eric was wearing a very thick metal suit, injured his front tooth very badly. "Oww! Brainfreeze!" he shrieked stupidly.
Let me fill you in on the reason why Eric magically attracted wrestlers. See, being very gay and having his heart broken by a wrestler during his childhood, he made an oath that one day just like the cool dude from X-Men Magneto could attract metal (the human magnet) HE would be able to attract WRESTLERS!
DUN DUN DUUUNNNNN!
At hearing this, the Tooth Fairy suddenly burst into the room through the window and granted his wish. From that day on...Eric became the human wrestler magnet! *Cheers echo through the crowd* Okay, now that we cleared that up, let's get back to the action *more cheers*
"Oh, no!" shouted Rough Ryder, waving her arms frantically and running around like an idiot "We've gotta help Q-Tip get loose from the grip of the evil almighty Eric!" With that, she charged headfirst into Eric's chest, and once again, ceasing to realize that Eric was wearing a very thick metal suit, almost knocked herself out on the spot. "Oww! Dizziness!" she protested as she swooned and landed on top of Eric, knocking him over. "Oh great!" thought Eric sarcastically, struggling to get up to rid himself of the two "Why do I always get picked to be the bad guy in these dammed fanfictions!"
"Because you're a loser and we don't like you!" shouted the almighty authors who where randomly tanning on beach chairs at the very top of the flying saucer "so quit your bitchin' and get your butt back into the story!" and emphasized this by pegging him in the head with the nearest bottle of sunblock. "Oww! Migraine!" he groaned as he resigned himself to get back to work.
After Eric's grudging descent back into the fic, he recommenced his attack on the team. "It will all be over soon, X-Jerks. As we speak this very saucer is absorbing your powers and draining you of your precious life. As they leave you, they are absorbed directly into my being! Soon you will all wither away and i will be stronger than all of you combined! Mwahahahahaaaa!
Miss Cleah had been staring at Eric, unalarmed by his prattle and very focused. Suddenly, she spoke up. "You only want our powers so you can impress Kurt Weedwacker!". She smirked evilly.
"Hey! I heard that!" frowned Kurt from the top of the saucer, who was now busy dancing the tango with Gertrude. "One more reference to me in this whole chapter, and I'm zapping you out of this fic!"
Eric blushed noticably. "HOW DID YOU KNOW I WANT HIM?!?...I mean, shut up, I'm not gay!" he stammered to Miss Cleah, very startled that his secret had been revealed. Just then, he felt a curious feeling, the kind that he usually got when he was looking at cute wrestlers on tv, and soon realized Rough Ryder had revived and was staring daggers at him. "How is this possible?" he thought in utter confusion. "Me, falling in love with a girl? But...but...I'm gay! How can I like Rough Ryder?! GAHHHH!!!" At this, he dissapeared in a puff of multicolored smoke, looking for somewhere he could sit down and think properly (something he had never done before in his life). Then, Gertrude and Kurt (who where very busy eating chips and salsa, STILL at the top of the saucer) pulled out 2 magic wands, pointed them at the hostages, and zapped them back to the Xavier mansion...just because they where getting bored with that scenario. Ohhh boy. I am Wally, your narrator, and I STILL hate my job. Grrr....
__________________ TO BE CONTINUED.....