Oh my goodness! I am so incredibly sorry with how long it has taken me to get this chapter finally updated. I have had it all ready to go and my mind just went blank with replying. I have no excuse except to say my mental health has just been a roller coaster. I know I have said this for each chapter I have been late on, but that is the only reason I can give. Please do forgive me for the lateness, I will try to not let it happen again.

I do have to come in and make a note; I'm not sure how much this chapter will be triggering for some people. There are some sensitive topics in this about LGBTQ+, if you would rather not read for your own mental health, I can completely understand.

Chapter 12

After a while of looking at Erebor, Thorin manages to pull his gaze from the mountain, deciding we need to find a way off this cliff. Which we soon find some steep stairs, so steep that we have to climb down, Aiden now riding on Bifur's back. It takes quite some time, but eventually, we finally make it to the bottom where we walk on some more before stopping in a small clearing by a river.

After Gandalf and Thorin are certain we will be safe, being a few days ride ahead of the Orcs, we sit and take stock of what we have left, almost all of it having been left behind in the goblin caves. Thankfully, Oin had the sense to pick up the medical supplies so that Oin and I can take care of any injuries.

I also managed to grab mine and Aiden's packs so that we had a change of clothes, perfect for right now.

Once camp has been made, the dwarves instantly take advantage of the river to clean up. I take Aiden a little further up the river so I can bathe in privacy and while checking him over for any injuries. Dropping our packs, I kneel in front of him and gently take his face in my hands.

"Are you alright, sweetheart?"

He nods. "I think so. My arm hurts a little."

Gently holding his right arm, I roll up the sleeves and see a long scratch, about 3 or 4 centimetres long, dried blood covering it. Luckily the scratch isn't too deep, but deep enough to cause some problems if it isn't seen to.

"We'll get it cleaned up, don't worry." looking at his innocent face, I move some hair from his eyes, regret and guilt filling my whole being. First he gets injured when he fell the other day, and then facing the Stone Giants, to fall through a chute into Goblin Town and then to be chased by Orcs and Wargs. No child should have had to see what he has seen the past few days. "I'm sorry Aiden. . .I'm so sorry. I should never have let you come with us. I should have made you stay in Rivendell where you were safe."

He quickly shakes his head. "No, mummy. I wanted to come. It was scary, but I dint wanna leave you."

He then puts his arms around my neck, snuggling his face into my shoulder. I sigh as I hold him close.

"Love you, mummy."

I smile as I run my hand over his hair. "I love you too, sweetheart." pulling away, I kiss his forehead. "Come on, let's get cleaned up.

He nods and once we're undressed, I take off his bandages on his hands and knees and smile that they are healing well at least. When I let him go, he runs straight into the river with a giggle, causing me to smile as I wade in after him, after grabbing some soap and a cloth. Laying the supplies on the boulder beside us - a large boulder which separates us from the males, who are by now splashing away – I sit on the river bed, leaning against the boulder and smile as I watch my son splash about, relieved he hasn't lost his childlike innocence from what happened.

Pulling him to me as he swims over, I settle with him leaning against my chest and hold him close for a few moments, just relishing in this moment, in the close bond he and I share. Once we have had a cuddle, I take the soap, lathering it thickly and washing both our hairs then our bodies. Lastly, after retrieving a clean cloth, I carefully use it to wash away the dried blood, grime and dust on his cut, causing him to cry out a little.

"Everything alright, lass?" I hear Bofur asking.

"Yes, Bofur. Just cleaning a cut on Aiden's arm."

"Is he alright?" Kili's voice pipes up.

"He's fine, aren't you, Aiden? My brave boy."

He gives a watery smile. "Yeah!"

I hear the males chuckling away. After cleaning his knees and hands, we finish and get out, I take out a clean cloak and use it to dry us both off, taking care to dry his arm before putting a salve on the now clean, slightly bleeding arm and then wrap a bandage around it before leaning down and loudly kissing it better, causing him to giggle. Deciding that his hands don't need tending to any more, I put some more salve on his knees and wrap them before getting him dressed in brown trousers, the ones Dori had finished mending, and a green tunic.

"There, all done." I turn my head back to the others. "Hope you males are decent, little boy about to run through!"

After getting assurances that they're covered, I tap his bottom and he runs on giggling away. Smiling as I shake my head, I dress in black leggings and a blue tunic before kneeling beside the river and washing our clothes.

"Sophia?"

Looking up, I see Thorin standing behind me, cleaner than earlier, so I know he's taken advantage of the river like the rest of us, but can see him favouring his ribs, a hand covering them.

"Have you got Oin to see to you yet?" I ask him, worry filling me.

"No. I've told him to make sure everyone else is seen to first."

Grumbling away about stubborn males and their pride, I reach into my pack and pull out some supplies.

"Sit and take off your shirt."

I sense him more than see him stumble in surprise. "Pardon?"

I give him a look. "It's clear you're not going to let Oin see you any time soon, so since I am a healer myself and I have already seen to my son, I shall now see to my next patient." I then pat the ground next to me. "Now, sit and take off your shirt. I'll just get some more supplies from Oin."

Standing, I walk over to the others and up to Oin to ask for some supplies.

"Finally got Thorin to give in?"

I tilt my head slightly. "More or less."

He nods after giving me the bandages. "Good. Make sure to get yourself looked at, lass."

I just smile before returning to Thorin, stopping as I round the boulder. He has taken his shirt off like I said, but my breath catches in my throat as I look at his bare back. Looking over his wide, broad shoulders, his skin and muscles rippling and tensing with movement, a full raven tattoo covering his back. I swear my heart had stopped. I shake my head, inwardly scolding myself for acting like a lovesick teenager before walking over and sitting in front of him, laying the supplies next to me.

"Here we are, now, let's see what damage that Warg di-"

Looking up, I freeze again. If the sight of his back had left me speechless, then seeing his bare chest had left me brain dead. I swallow as I look at his broad, muscled and hard chest, thick dark hair covering his chest leading into one line down the middle of his stomach and disappearing into the waist line.

The sound of Thorin clearing his voice pulls me out of my coma like state.

"Like something you see?" he asks.

Blushing, I glance up to see him grinning slightly, a teasing glint in his eyes. I clear my own throat before reaching my shaking hands out to ascertain the injuries he has. Obviously, I can see the puncture wounds where the Warg's teeth had bit into him, but from how he was favouring himself, I just had to make sure his ribs aren't broken. As soon as my fingers touch his warm skin, I feel a thrill rush straight through me. Pushing those feelings aside, I gently but firmly press down on his chest and abdomen.

"Does this hurt?"

"Only slightly." He replies, grunting as I press down on a particularly tender spot.

"It doesn't hurt to breathe does it?"

"Not all that much."

I pull my hands away and pick up the salve. "Well, luckily I don't think you've broken anything, most likely bruised. I think Gandalf might have healed you in that sense when he revived you. So, we can be thankful for that."

I hear him hum in agreement as I rub some salve over his cuts and bruises, ignoring him watching me.

"How is Aiden? I saw the bandage on his arm. Is it bad?"

"Luckily his wound is not too deep that it needs stitches, like his knees. But still something I'll be keeping an eye on."

He nods. "Good. And mentally? He's not suffered much that way, has he?"

I pause for a moment before sighing as I take the bandages and wrapping them around his chest, tight enough to keep his wounds covered, but not enough to restrict his breathing or movement.

"I don't know. Children are resilient, as you well know. Like I've said before, he's already been through a lot in his short life before coming here, but nothing like this. If the nightmares come back. . .then I'll know."

"He's prone to nightmares?"

I nod as I sit back on my heels. "Yes. He's not had them for a few weeks luckily, which is how I thought he was healing. But after tonight. . ." I sigh as I look down, my hands curling into fists on my knees. "I shouldn't have brought him with us. I knew we would be facing dangers, and if Gandalf hadn't have arrived when he did. . ."

After a few moments, I feel fingers slide under my chin and raise my head so I'm now looking into Thorin's blue grey eyes. I never realised just how much they resembled the swirling storm I am sure he feels inside.

"He is safe, Sophia. Take comfort in that. Would he have been safer in Rivendell? Yes. But, you have had no other choice but to bring him. If what Galadriel says is true and you find your way home at the end, of course you want him with you. You are doing all you can as a mother to protect him while on this treacherous journey. And as I have said before, we are all going to make sure nothing happens to him. We will not let any harm come to that boy, or to you, while you are with us. This I swear."

I smile. "Thank you, Thorin."

He smiles back before frowning.

"What?" I ask in confusion.

He reaches up and brushes his thumb across my left eyebrow, causing me to wince in pain. When he pulls his hand away, there's some blood on it. Reaching up, I also touch it and see the blood.

"Huh, I didn't notice that. Must have got it when were escaping the goblins."

Reaching for a cloth, I pick it up along with my water skin, but Thorin takes them from me.

"Here, allow me."

He wets the cloth before raising it and gently cleaning the cut, being surprisingly gentle with how strong he is. Like he did with me, I sit and watch him. I never really noticed until now just how handsome this dwarf actually is with his soft, stormy eyes, gentle expression as he tends to me and his strong jaw hidden beneath his beautiful beard. I foolishly wonder what it would be like to kiss a man with such a beard.

"There. It is not deep, so it should heal on its own." he says softly. I didn't even know he could speak so softly.

I smile as he pulls the cloth away. "Is that your professional opinion, Master Healer?"

He smiles back, not just his usual small smiles but a full one, one where I can see white from his teeth. I swear I just swooned.

"Hmm. Maybe not professional, but I have seen enough scrapes such as this on my nephews to know it will not kill you."

I giggle a little as I look down, taking the cloth back. "Thank you, Thorin."

I feel him raise my head again so I'm looking at him.

"No, thank you for staying by my side on the mountain. I remember seeing you before darkness took me. I appreciate you being there. . .more than you know."

I smile, my heat skipping a beat as I feel his hand go to my neck. "You're welcome."

We stay in that position for a while, just looking at one another. I swear I saw his eyes drift down to my lips, but it was for such a split second I think I imagined it, before I notice him leaning closer. My heart race quickens in my chest, fluttering like a thousand tiny wings. I also feel myself moving closer, getting so close I think he is actually going to kiss me. . .

"Mummy!"

Whatever spell was placed on our moment is broken and we instantly jump back from each other, Thorin wincing slightly from the pain, brushing off my look of concern. Aiden runs over, falling into my knees as he looks up at me with a large grin on his little face.

"Kee found some food for us and Bombur said supper will be done soon!"

I raise an eyebrow. "Kee?"

He nods. "He said I can call him that, and so did Fee."

Thorin and I share glances of amusement with each other.

"Okay, sweetheart. We'll be right there. Can you take these to Master Oin for me?"

He nods as I pass him the extra bandages, smiling at me before running off. I smile at Thorin before retrieving the clothes I was washing, which have dried off in the sun by now. Picking up my pack, I turn to Thorin, thankful that he's now covered and we both return to the others who are sitting by the fire.

I smile as I watch the dwarves grooming each other, though everyone stays in their own family groups. Sitting down by the fire, I sit Aiden in front of me and get out the brush and begin brushing his hair, which has gotten longer the past couple months.

"I'm going to have to cut your hair the next chance I get, it's getting long." I say as I run my hand through his locks, which has reached his shoulders.

It takes a few moments for me to notice that the campsite has gone silent and looking up, I blink in surprise as I see the dwarves staring at me with a mix of emotions ranging from shock to horror.

"What?" I ask, wondering what I could have said to insult them.

"Y-You'd cut the lads hair?" Bofur asks.

This takes me aback, not used to hearing the tone of horror in his voice.

"Well, yeah. He's always had his hair short." I answer, still not seeing what is wrong by this.

At seeing my confusion, Balin takes pity on me as he clears his throat, causing me to turn my gaze to him. "In our culture, to shave your beard or your hair would be a sign of shame and dishonour."

Recognition hits me instantly. To them, me talking about cutting Aiden's hair would mean I am ashamed of him in some way.

"Oh, right, I see. Well, that's not my intention at all. Most humans always cut their hair. In fact, where I'm from, most males have short hair, saying that long hair is too effeminate for men."

Aiden looks up at me here. "Mummy, can I let my hair grow? I want it to be long like theirs, and have fancy braids and shiny beads like they have!"

I smile at him at this before leaning down and kissing his head. "If that's what you want, then long hair you'll have."

He cheers, causing us all to chuckle and he allows me to finish brushing his hair before we eat dinner.

As we're eating, we also watch Mulan on my tablet, which by some miracle has survived everything we had been through, as well as my phone. I just smile as I watch the faces of the others as we watch. After these past few months on the road, they are still fascinated with my otherworldly technology. As we're watching, I do worry as they see Mushu, but other than a few grumbles and shock, they say nothing. I have to admit, I am relieved about that. Although, I had better make sure not to put on any of the other dragon movies I have. I think Mushu is enough for now.

The movie soon ends and as my tablet is passed to me, the dwarves talk about it almost excitedly. I knew that would be a favourite among them, what with the action in it. I wonder if I should show them Gladiator. . .maybe one night when Aiden is fast asleep.

"Can we watch another one, mummy?" Aiden asks me from where he's sitting with Kili.

I smile. "Maybe another night. It's now way past your bedtime."

"Aww! Can I stay up a little longer?" he groans, snuggling closer to Kili.

I just grin. "No sweetheart, now come on, say goodnight."

Standing and holding my hand out to him. He gets up and after hugging everyone goodnight, comes over and takes my hand before we walk over to where our bedrolls have been set up. He looks up at me as we sit down.

"Can you sing to me?"

I smile. "Of course I can. Do you want the mountain song again?"

He shakes his hand, wringing his hands nervously. "No. Could I. . .could you sing me the river song?"

I think for a moment in confusion before I realise which song he means. I have not sung that to him in a long time. Mainly due to his father.

I smile as I lean back against the boulder behind me. "Okay. Cuddle close. Scooch in."

He giggles as he lays down against me, cuddling Simba as he just looks up at me with so much love and happiness in his eyes, I'm choked up for a moment before clearing my throat to sing, knowing the others are listening.

"Where the North wind meets the sea
There's a river full of memory
Sleep, my darling, safe and sound
For in this river, all is found"

Seeing him already asleep, I lower him down and gently tuck him in, though I continue to sing as I brush my hand over his head lovingly.

"In her waters, deep and true
Lie the answers and a path for you
Dive down deep into her sound
But not too far or you'll be drowned

Yes, she will sing to those who'll hear
And in her song, all magic flows
But can you brave what you most fear?
Can you face what the river knows?

Where the North wind meets the sea
There's a mother full of memory
Come, my darling, homeward bound
When all is lost, then all is found."

Leaning down, I gently kiss his forehead before getting up and joining the others by the fire.

"That was a lovely song lass." Balin says with a smile.

"Aye. Although, why was the lad nervous when asking for the song?" Bofur asks.

I give a small, humourless, smile. "That song is from a movie, one I have on the tablet actually, and it's a movie about two sisters, a Queen and a Princess. Aiden's father didn't like him watching the movies, because he believed they were too girly for him. He didn't want his son to grow up to be a "sissy". However, Aiden likes those movies, so we would watch them together in secret when his father wasn't around."

There's a pause.

"What's a sissy?" Ori asks.

I hesitate for a moment, wondering how I'm going to explain this to people who probably have never even heard of same sex couples.

"In my world, sissy is a very derogatory and insulting word for a man who likes another man, romantically."

Everyone looks to me in surprise for a moment.

"You have people like that?" Kili asks.

I nod. "We do. The right term for them is homosexual. Homosexual is split into two, gay, which are men who like men and lesbians, who are women who like women. There's a whole community for them, which are called LGBTQ plus."

"What does it stand for?" Fili is next to ask.

"Lesbian, gay, bisexual – which is someone who likes men and women, transgender – which is someone who believes they were born the wrong gender. So a man would become a woman and vice versa. And the last one is queer, which I've never been a hundred percent about as it is. Gays and lesbians sometimes use it to explain themselves or some people who believe them to not be "normal" use it. That one gets confusing for me."

They nod at this, although I am pretty sure I have blown their minds with this.

Bilbo looks to me. "And plus?"

"The plus is for the many others that they couldn't put into LGBTQ. I can't remember them all, but I do remember three. Pansexual, asexual and cisgender. I can't remember the meaning of cisgender, but if you're asexual, it means you have no sexual feelings and are not attracted to someone sexually and pansexual means that you like someone for the person they are, it doesn't matter who they are or what they look like. I identify myself as pansexual."

"That all sounds very intriguing, my dear." Gandalf says, speaking for the first time.

"Intriguing, but it can be dangerous."

"What do you mean?" Nori asks.

I take in a deep breath. "Some people from these communities are more often than not targeted by others, for being different or "choosing" to be something that goes against another persons religion or believes. People have often been killed because of who they are."

There are looks of horror and disgust through the company at this.

"That's not right!" Kili exclaims. "To kill someone for being who they are!"

I give a tight smile. "It isn't. But, unfortunately it happens."

"Do you know someone it's happened to?" Dwalin asks me.

I go quiet for a moment, lost in my own thoughts.

"Sophia?"

Hearing Thorin's voice, I pull myself from my thoughts and see the others looking over me with concerned looks. I clear my throat before standing.

"It's getting late, I'll be getting some sleep. Goodnight."

A chorus of goodnights sound as I walk to my bedroll and cuddle with Aiden, smiling as he cuddles into me. Holding him close, I lay my head on my rucksack, which I'm using as a pillow, and goes to sleep.

I soon wake to crying, screaming and a slap to the face. Opening my eyes, I see Aiden thrashing about, his eyes still closed, lost in nightmares. I instantly sit up and pull him close as the others also wake up.

"Shh, it's alright now, sweetheart. You're safe now."

His eyes snap open as he wakes up, sees me and throws himself at me. I hold him close as I run my fingers through his hair, making soothing noises before singing his mountain lullaby, which soon sends him to sleep again. The others also settle back down after sending concern glances to Aiden.

"Is he alright?" Thorin asks as he sits beside me.

"He's fine. I was worried about this."

He reaches a hand out and runs it over Aiden's head, which causes Aiden to lean into it. Thorin and I smile at this.

"He is strong, just like his mother."

I look at him in surprise at this, blushing slightly at the compliment, but he just smiles back.

"I am sorry if our words earlier upset you. We did not mean to cause you any distress."

I smile at him. "It's okay. You weren't to know. There's nothing to apologise for."

He nods.

"Get some rest, Sophia."

I just nod as I lower my head to place it on Aiden's, my heart feeling warm. As I close my eyes and sleep, I don't notice my head slip from Aiden's onto Thorin's shoulder, or his arm going around me and pulling both Aiden and I close to him as he keeps watch.

Well, there we have it, chapter 12 is complete and finally updated. Again, I sincerely apologise with how long it has taken be to get this updated. I hope you all enjoyed this one, especially the moment between Sophia and Thorin. Please leave me a review on this and give me your thoughts, I would love to hear from you. I'll try to not be too late with the next chapter xx