Second Chances



Chapter 11: What do you expect me to say?



After dusk set in, the Fays lead them to another little cave. Although it was well-hidden beneath a thick curtain of vines, Lily had had Glimmer check it before, to make sure no nasty surprises were waiting for them. They dismounted, Severus more careful this time, and pushed past the vines into the den. It was just large enough to provide shelter for them and their horses. Lily turned back towards the entrance and arranged the vines in a way that made it once more very difficult to imagine that there might be anything but solid rock behind them. Then she looked at him and addressed him for the first time since the incident.

"Since I don't assume you have much experience in looking after the mares, I suggest you try to create some kind of dinner out of our supplies. Is that alright with you?" she asked calmly.

"Sure," he replied curtly, and took the saddle-bags she gave him. Letting her gaze rest at his retreating back for a moment, she shook her head and sighed silently, before stripping her four-footed friends of their tack and giving each of them a good rub-down. Severus for his part inspected the contents of the bags closely, before he decided to go for another improvised stew. When their meal was almost ready, Lily was finished with the horses, who stood clean, dry, warm, and contentedly munching on some grain she had given them between them and the entry, while in the meantime he had also laid out the bedrolls and blankets, and heated some water for tea. No further word had been said while both had been occupied with their tasks.

Taking a small bag filled with herbs out of their supplies, she poured some of its content into the boiling water and set it aside. Then she handed him the bowls and got them two spoons while he filled them. They continued their silence until after both of them had finished their meal and leaned back with a cup of tea. Once more, it was Lily who spoke first.

"You are angry with me because I didn't tell you more about myself, aren't you?" she asked softly. "And now you don't trust me anymore."

He tried to make his eyes and voice stay cold when he was in fact surprised she had approached the matter in such an honest and direct manner.

"Well, you have to admit the scarce amount of information you provided me with doesn't exactly serve to keep my trust in you. I am on the run after all."

"And I have saved your life. Twice," she countered.

He inclined his head slightly in acknowledgment, but remained distant. "A life that is quite precious to a certain Dark Lord."

She glanced at him from beneath long, fine lashes. A shudder ran through him. He knew that glance, though the time when Voldemort still had had lashes like that was long gone. 'Can it be him? Oh Merlin, I should have kept my mouth shut about that. But she seems to get through the wards I put around myself every time, no matter how carefully I prepare to keep her out. I believe I'm truly lost this time.'

"So you think I'm a minion of Voldemort." she stated quietly.

He swallowed nervously. "You still haven't told me why you have saved my life. -Twice," he added as an afterthought in mock imitation of her words.

When she lifted her eyes to meet his, he saw they were almost black. The cave's darkness bereft her hair of its livid color and left only ebony, streaked with red highlights set by the fire. He could see the resemblances clearly now, not only to Lily Potter, but to Tom Riddle.

He just found it strange that not fear was the most pressing feeling on his mind, but how much his heart ached. 'I lost her again,' he couldn't help but think.

"Tell me, Severus," she demanded gently, in a soft voice so similar to that Voldemort had used in their last conversation that he involuntarily closed his eyes in mental pain at the memory, "what do you expect me to say? You seem to have made up your mind already. Could anything I tell you cease the suspicions you have? Would you even believe me if I tried to explain?"

"I... I don't know," he said hoarsely, opening his eyes again, "Why don't you try me?"

Her irises were truly, deeply black now. "Has the thought ever occurred to you that I have more to loose than you?" she whispered.



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A/N:

Now that would be a nice time for a really evil cliffy, what do you think?

*grins maliciously*

Oh well, I think Willow is right and there is some spark of a Gryffindor in my heart after all. *sighs dramatically*

So on with the story...



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Severus was slightly shocked. Whatever he had expected her to say, he certainly hadn't reckoned with something like that.

"What the hell are you taking about?" he asked rather harshly.

For a moment, her dark gaze was full of unmasked emotions. Uncertainty, regret, anger, longing, fear and something he couldn't quite place. Then it became guarded again.

"Didn't you think there might be more to your being the first stranger for the last fifty years that is allowed to leave this forest than just good luck?" she continued in her low voice. "Can you even imagine the danger I put nearly everything I hold dear into for you?" she paused. "I think not. And I don't blame you. But I risk my world for you, Severus. If Voldemort, or anybody else at that, ever learns anything of me or my family, or finds a reason to suspect the DarkWood might have other inhabitants than the dangerous creatures it is infamous for, all I live for will be destroyed."

"What world? What family? You're still talking in riddles."

She took a deep breath. "Please don't ask any further. I have already said more than I should. Just believe me when I tell you that I bear no sympathies at all for Voldemort, and that I mean no harm to you. I promised you to protect you and bring you back to Hogwarts safely, and I keep my promises."

He looked at her doubtingly. "Why should I believe you? How can I be certain that you pose no threat to Hogwarts?"

"Whether you believe me or not is something only you can decide. As for your school... I never intended to enter the grounds. We will accompany you to the border of the wards and only Saga and Ardent will come with you until they feel it is safe for you to cover the remaining distance on your own." she answered tiredly.

"Why?" he demanded softly. "Why are you doing all of this for me?"

For a split second, her black eyes seemed to become windows of her soul and he could see confusion there, hope, a deep pain that cut into his heart, and a fearful yearning that made him want to take her in his arms and hold her until it subsided. Then she blinked and looked down to the cup in her hand. When she met his gaze again, the moment was gone.

"Sometimes, I have presentiments. I know something's going to happen and I get a feeling what to do to make the best of it. Often I can help people that way and prevent worse outcomes. To do this for you... it feels just right." She smiled faintly at him. "I'm sorry, I' bad in explaining this. It sounds quite peculiar, doesn't it?"

"Not at all. It sounds like you're a witch," he said calmly, "with a sense for divination."

She grimaced at his comment. "Divination? Sorry, but I don't believe in tea leaves foretelling the future. And I already told you I'm not a witch."

"How do you know?"

Sighing, she rolled her eyes at him. "First, Grandma would've told me. Second, my powers would've shown during my childhood. And third, I would have gotten a letter from Hogwarts, wouldn't I?" she counted on her fingers. "What's your problem, Severus? I don't mind being a squib."

He shook his head thoughtfully. "I still believe there is more to it than meets the eye."

She raised her left brow in an exact, yet unconscious imitation of Lily. "Now you're the one who talks enigmatically."

"Seems you rub off on me," he retorted, shrugging innocently.

"Maybe." She smiled, her first true smile of the evening.

Suddenly, both mares lifted their heads, and pricked their ears at the entrance. Lily tensed, but didn't reach for the sword. Then Goa snorted, and Saga shook her thick white mane, before both resumed their eating. The soft light that neared through the vines announced the Fays' return from their scouting flight.

"Ah, our wise guides are back. What's the situation outside like?" she asked their tiny companions.

~Quiet. Nothing unusual.~ Glimmer replied.

Now that Severus knew what to listen for, he could understand them well enough.

~No Soul-Thieves.~ Ardent added.

Lily relaxed visibly. "That's good to hear. I feared the incident today could have set them right on our heels." She turned to Severus before he could voice the question that was on his mind. "You wanted to know what beast it was that tried to attack you today. We call it Snow-Lizard. It's a reptile that's remotely related to the basilisk. As you have experienced, its gaze can 'freeze' its prey until it is ready to strike. Originally, its scales are silver, but it's able to change the color to blend in with the background. I couldn't tell you before because they have an excellent hearing. That's both their power and their fault, for their eyesight is so bad that they only see movements. So they hunt by sound and to a lesser degree by smell. When one of them finds you, you just don't move and in most cases it gives up after a short time. The thing is, these lizards are prey to many of the more dangerous predators themselves and their presence in a territory is a sign nothing worse is there. That's why I chose that clearing for our rest."

"I understand. While we're at it, is there more I should know about the creatures in this forest?" he demanded.

She thought briefly about that, and then gave him instructions for the beasts they were most likely to come across and for the really dangerous ones. The Fays added their own advices, and between the three of them he felt reassuringly well informed about how to survive the next couple of days when they were finished. Glimmer and Ardent went outside again to guard the cave, and Lily and Severus cleaned up and prepared the fire for the night. The silence between them was friendly once more and the warmth of the fire eased their tension.

"Severus?" Lily asked while they were shedding their outer garments for the night.

"Yes?" he replied, half-turning to face her. As she was standing right beside him, he could see that her eyes were back to emerald again and regarded him with a soft expression.

"Our journey will get more dangerous from now on. Tomorrow we'll cross dragons' territory. I'm going to need your trust to bring us all out of there alive."

He looked into the green depths and answered softly: "You have it."

Her eyes lightened up at his words, and started to shine. Before he was able to identify the emotion in them, she had caught him in a brief embrace. Completely taken aback, he didn't even have the chance to tense, let alone return the embrace before she placed a tiny, featherlight kiss on his cheek and quickly pulled back again.

"Thank you," she said with a warm smile and vanished into her bedroll and under her blankets before he had the time to react.

Staring after her, he raised a hand to his cheek in disbelief.

'Will she ever cease to surprise me?' he wondered. 'Do I even want her to?'

Shaking his head about himself and his whole situation, he crept under his blankets as well, and for the first time in many years, his dreams were neither occupied by the red eyes of the Dark Lord, nor the accusing green of Lily Potter, but by a pair of dark emerald ones that beamed warmly upon him.



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A/N:

Sorry for the delay, I was ill. In fact, I still am, but I'm feeling already better. This is kind of a rough version of this chapter, but I thought you'd forgive me my mistakes in favor of getting the chappy one day earlier.

So what is Lily about? Will they get through the DarkWood in one piece? And what is Voldemort doing anyway?



Greetings,

Scheckie